Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time?

Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time, everybody loved you, and you were knee-deep in pussy thrown at you by extremely hot female fans of yours? 'Cause I sure don't...

The "Hound Dog" episode

Screech, remember that episode where your dog, Hound Dog, walked into your room and caught you tossing off to Slater's wrestling picture in the Bayside yearbook...for the 50th time? Remember how Hound Dog panted as he stared at you? Remember how this made you uncomfortable as you smacked away at your tiny cock? Remember when you threw your pillow at him, hoping it would scare him away? Remember when your pillow hit him in the face and he started growling? Remember when Hound Dog started inching toward you while continuing to growl? Remember when you started to get concerned? Remember when Hound Dog jumped up onto your bed and lunged at your tiny cock? Remember when he snapped at your cock and bit down on your tiny manhood? Remember when his bite broke the skin and your cock started bleeding? Remember when you saw that Hound Dog's penis was completely erect? Remember he bit your hand and kept growling at you? Remember when he stuck his canine cock in the direction of your face? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog wasn't going to leave you alone until you sucked him off? Remember when you put his smelly, filthy dog cock in your mouth and started sucking? Remember when Hound Dog panted away in please and put his front legs up on your poofy jew fro while this was happening? Remember when his claws scratched the hell out your face during this? Remember when Hound Dog blew his doggie load in your mouth? Remember when he backed away from you and you thought your ordeal was finally over until Hound Dog jumped at your face and then chomped on your huge gonzo nose? You sure learned not to mess with dogs that time!!

The "Lost In Space" episode

Screech, remember that "Lost In Space" episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when Mr. Belding signed you up for a "young astronauts" NASA summer camp? Remember when you ventured onto a space ship called the "Jupiter 2"? Remember when the ship took off into space? Remember when everyone else on board was from the 1960s TV show "Lost In Space"? Remember when Dr. Smith found you and asked who you were? Remember when you told him who you were? Remember when he said everyone was going to be upset if they found you? Remember when he told you to go hide in the galley with this robot:


Remember when you went down into the galley and saw "Robot," a huge 7-foot tall clunky robot with flailing red arms and claws? Remember when the robot said "Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" Remember when you told Robot that your name was "Screech,” begged Robot to be quiet, and touched the buttons on Robot's chest, trying to get shut off his voice circuits? Remember when Robot said "Robot likes!" Remember when Robot said "Kevin, let's get Screech!" Remember when you turned around and saw your robot "Kevin" roll out from a closet? Remember when Kevin called you a faggot and said that he followed you from home! Remember when Kevin said "Remember what I did to you in the park? --BZZT--- You're gonna get twice the pain this time!" Remember when Robot's arms started flailing and he smacked you in the head with his metal claws? Remember when you fell into Kevin who proceeded to cut off your zubaz with his sharp metal claws? Remember when huge metal rods slowly grew out of Robot's and Kevin's respective groins? Remember when Robot grabbed you by your greasy 'fro and stuck his metal penis in your mouth? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal rod in your bleeding rectum? Remember when Kevin and Robot spit roasted you for the next 10 minutes while you screamed in pain? Remember when you looked up and saw a live video feed from the Houston office of NASA on the galley screen? Remember when you saw a bunch of engineers laughing at you as you were getting spit-roasted? Remember when they all called you a "SHITHEAD FAGGOT?" Remember when Kevin and Robot simultaneously expelled their oily robotic loads into your orifices? Remember when they rolled away from you and dropped you on the floor? Remember when Mr. Robinson walked into the galley and started yelling at you and said "We don't have room for any more stowaways!" Remember when he picked you up and threw your lifeless body into a space pod? Remember when they ejected the space pod and you spent the next week in the space pod until the space pod finally floated through the earth's atmosphere and landed in the Pacific Ocean? Remember when a Navy ship came across the space pod and picked you up? Remember when NASA sent you a bill for $30,000,000 for the cost of the space pod? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

"Screech's Music Album" episode

Screech, remember the "Rocumentary" episode where you, Slater, Zack, Kelly, Lisa, and Jessie formed the group "Zack Attack" and became famous singers? Remember when the group broke up when Zack tried to become the headline star? Remember how depressed you were when Mr. Belding showed up at your door crying one day after school and told you that there would be no reunion? Remember when you got to thinking that you should form your own singing group so that you'd finally be able to impress Slater enough to get him to let you do him in his muscular butt? Remember when you asked Mr. Belding to help you record your album? Remember when Mr. Belding said he would help and that his brother Rod owned a recording studio? Remember when you showed up at Rod's house the next day and he and Mr. Belding suggested you wear your mother's dress while singing? Remember when you said you didn't want to do so? Remember when Rod said that he was only trying to help create an appropriate image for you and the segment of people who would likely purchase your album? Remember when you finally agreed to do so? Remember when Rod also suggest you use the stage name "Joyce" so that people would confuse you with your previous "Zack Attack" band? Remember when you put on the dress and then recorded several fruity love songs? Remember when the best songs recorded that day were "The Diarrhea Dance" and "Gimme Some HIV Juice"? Remember when you finished recorded the album and got up to leave? Remember when Rod said, "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me for the use of this equipment?" Remember when you said you thought he was letting you use the equipment for free? Remember when he called you a "STUPID FAGGOT" and then slapped you in the face with a boom microphone? Remember when Mr. Belding shoved the boom microphone up your ass and then threw you down on the ground and teabagged you? Remember when Rod pulled out the boom microphone and then ravished you, completely against you will for the next 15 minutes with his disease-ridden member?

Remember when you showed up at Bayside the next day with a noticeable limp? Remember when everyone was holding a copy of your album shown below and calling you a faggot? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Reunion" episode

Screech, remember that Saved By The Bell reunion special episode? Remember when you received the inviation in the mail but initially weren't interested in going because of all the crap you endured during your high school years at Bayside, including the daily rapes and beatings? Remember when your mom called you and convinced you to attend the reunion? Remember when you thought that nobody would pick on you because you were all grown up and no longer scrawny, but were instead chubby, married, and sported a little uneven goatee? Remember when when you showed up at the reunion and Belding immediately pounced on you, clotheslining you and dragging you into his office for some hot, sweaty, unprotected buttsex? Remember when he ravished you for 15 minutes until he pulled out and blew his AIDS-tainted semen into your mouth? Remember when Milo ran into Belding's office and smacking you in the face and nuts with his mop? Remember when Slater crawled into the office throught the window next to the dumpster outside? Remember when Slater carried your naked body into Mr. Tuttle's classroom? Remember when Zack was already in there with Moose spit-roasting your mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember how Mrs. Powers was screaming in pleasure as Zack anally penetrated her? Remember how you screamed in pain as Slater anally penetrated you completely against your will? That was the best sitcom high school reunion episode ever!

Belding's movie, "Going Down"

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding told you he was going to be acting in a movie? Remember when he said the name of the movie was "Going Down," and he was playing the character "Uncle Frank"? Remember how excited you were for him? Remember when he asked if you wanted to be "rape victim #1"?? Remember how good that made you feel because you thought he was asking you if you wanted a role in the movie? Remember when you eagerly accepted? Remember when you thought you were going to become a big-time movie star and finally earn respect from your peers? Remember when you quickly discovered that you would not earn and respect when you showed up at Belding's the next day and told him you were ready for the acting role? Remember when he said "there's no acting for you Screech, I'M REALLY GONNA RAPE YOU, FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when he subsequently had unprotected buttsex with you and shot his HIV+ sperm in your butt? You really got screwed over that time!

The "Inner-City Busing" episode

Screech, remember that episode where inner-city kids were bused in from South Central LA to Bayside? Remember when two of the kids, LaTroy and Jumoke, had lockers near yours? Remember how hip and cool you thought it was when you saw them shooking and jiving? Remember when you asked LaTroy for protection from Slater who had been raping you after gym class every day that week? Remember when he said he would only protect you if you helped him sell pot to the nerds? Remember when Nerdstrom and Violet bought hundreds of dollars worth of drugs and drug paraphanalia from LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when Slater stopped raping you because he was afraid of LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when LaTroy and Jumoke were caught breaking into Mr. Tuttle's car and selling dope to Mr. Dewey? Remember when they were expelled and went to jail because they were 18? Remember when they said they were gonna get you when they got out of jail because they thought you had squealed on them? Remember when you ran to Mr. Belding's office to ask for help? Remember when you walked in the door and saw Belding on his knees sucking off Slater while Zack did Slater from behind? Remember when Mr. Tuttle jumped out from behind the door and fired a stapler at your head, knocking you to the floor? Remember when Slater said "I'll teach you to hire protection, FAGGOT!!!" and then raped the bejeezus out of you? Remember when Tuttle and Belding unleased their HIV+ sperm into your bleeding head? Remember when several years passed during which you graduated and then came back as Belding's assistant? Remember when you walked to the parking lot to your Yugo car after school one day and were confronted by LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when they beat the living shit out of you and butt-raped you? That episode really celebrated diversity when you got screwed over that time!

My picture

Screech, remember the episode when this picture was taken? Remember how you talked Slater into jumping me in the locker room? Remember when you were going to pull down my pants and buttslam me against my will? Remember when you pulled down my pants and then I asked you to do me a favor and look and the mole on my right asscheeck to see if it was discolored because I was afraid it might be infected? Remember when you went in for a closer look and then I unleashed a diarrhea tsunami right in your face, covering your face with chunks of my shit? Remember when Slater started laughing and I high-fived him? Remember how my diarrhea irritated your eyes and you couldn't see anything? Remember when I booted you in the nuts and then tore off your Zubaz and buttraped you while Slater teabagged you? Remember when I finished you off with a donkey punch and then Slater and I got dressed and left you for dead in the locker room? That's what you get for trying to trick me, FAGGOT!!!

Halloween episode recap

Screech, remember that Halloween episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you needed a costume for the Masquerade Ball? Remember when you asked your buddies Slater and Zack to help you find a costume to wear? Remember when Zack said "Why don't you dress up as Liberace? He was a stupid faggot just like you!!!" Remember when you started to cry because Zack was your idol and you couldn't bear to have him making fun of you? Remember when Slater put his muscular arms around you and gave you a big hug and reassured you that everything would be ok and that Zack was just kidding? Remember when you started to feel a little bit better, especially when Slater reached down into your Zubaz and massaged your nuts? Remember when Slater said "Why don't you go as Francisco Sanchez? He was a famous Mexican." Remember when you didn't know who that was? Remember when Slater said that Francisco was very well known for not bathing regularly, and he was very dirty all the time? Remember when Slater said that as a result everyone called him "Dirty Sanchez"? Remember when you agreed with Slater and said you'd go as "Dirty Sanchez"? Remember when Slater said "Zack, let's give Screech a 'Dirty Sanchez' costume?" Remember when Zack gave you a karate kick in the head, knocking you over? Remember when Slater tore off your Zubaz and stuck his finger in your butthole? Remember when he scooped some shit out of your butthole and then rubbed it on your face, giving you a "shit mustache" and a "shit beard"? Remember when Slater and Zack took turns butt-slamming you completely against your will while you screamed out in pain? Remember when Zack and Slater then jerked off into your jew-fro and then used their nut-butter to slick back your hair so that it looked really greasy? Remember when Slater and Zack high-fived each other and then said "how you do like your 'Dirty Sanchez' costume, you stupid cocksucking FAGGOT???" Zack and Slater sure got you good that time!

Archived June-July 2005 "Remember When" stories

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Archived April-May 2005 "Remember When" stories

26th May 2005 - 12:44:39 AM
13782 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you went to Mr. Belding's office and told him that you were so uncertain about the direction of your life? Remember when you told him that you were so depressed because you had just received a C+ in gym class. Remember how distraught you were as you opened up to Mr. B? Remember when he told you that he had a secret to tell you that would have a major impact on your life? Remember when you begged him to tell and finally he did, telling you that his pubic hair could predict the future? Remember when you initially didn't believe him? Remember when he hugged you with his chubby middle-aged arms and you believed him? Remember when he dropped trow and told you to move your face next to his penis? Remember how his penis smelled liked baked tortillas? Remember when he told you that your future would be clear if you sucked on his nuts and let him buttslam you? Remember how this was your first willing homosexual experience, after having been butt raped by Zack's dad and the boys in your gym class many times before? Remember when you relelvented to Belding's badgering, finally agreeing to let him dunk his nuts in your mouth for 30 minutes and then let him have unprotected buttsex with you for another hour? Remember when he pulled his penis out of your love hole and blew his load in your poofy afro? Remember when he asked if you were able to repdict anything about your future now? Remember when you said that you couldn't? Remember when Belding said "well, now I can predict YOUR future, FAGGOT!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET AIDS! I JUST UNLEASED MY HIV+ BODILY FLUIDS IN YOUR TITGHT BUTTHOLE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" Rememebr when you went to the free clinic a week later and relaized that Mr. belding's prediciton had come true? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

25th May 2005 - 12:52:56 AM
13754 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Dewey was covering insects in his Science class? Remember how you would always raise your hand and kiss up because you really wanted to get an A? Remember when he asked you to see him after class one day? Remember how your heart was pounding as you eagerly replied that you would? Remember when you showed up and he asked you to drop your pants and help him out with a science experiment? Remember when you quickly did so? Remember when he pulled out a jar of peanut butter? Remember when he spread it all over your tiny wang with his firm hands? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into the room with a video camera and your penis became rock hard because you figured he was going to tape some hot man-on-man action between you and Mr. Dewey? Remember when Mr. Dewey ask you to lie down in a glass enclosure and then he locked the top of it so that it was air-tight and you couldn't get out? Remember when Mr. Dewey opened a tiny door at the bottom of the glass enclosure and thousands of army ants entered into the enclosure with you? Remember when the ants started nibbling at your naked body, and there was nothing you could do about it? Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and then started screaming as the ants ate away at the peanut butter covering your dick? Remember when you looked over and saw Mr. Belding laughing his ass off as he videotaped the encounter? Remember how you endured 15 more minutes of the worst pain in your life as the killer army ants chomped away at your genitals until Mr. Dewey finally let you out? Remember how the ants ate away so much of the flesh in your penis that you are no longer able to achieve an erection? Remember when you showed up at school the next day and saw Mr. Belding selling videotapes of the attack? Remember when you told him about the permanent damage to your penis and he started laughing? Remember when Mr. Belding submitted the tape to "America's Funniest Home Videos" and he won the grand prize? Remember when Mr. Belding didn't share any of the prize money with you, which he ended up spending on hookers an blow? Mr. Dewey and Mr. Belding sure got you good that time!

17th May 2005 - 01:33:45 AM
13570 : Ox
Princess Peussie, remember that episode from the 3rd season of SBTB before your sex change, when you went by the name "Prince Peussie"? Remember how you were flaming gay and would dress like Peter Pan, wearing tights to school every day? Remember how you also sported a perm at this time in your pathetic little life? Remember how you used to masturbate every night while thinking about Slater's smelly Mexican manchilada and dreamed that you would someday toss his salad? Remember when Slater came up to you during gym class and asked you to meet in my Belding's dungeon after school for a swordfight? Remember how Mr. Belding had constructed a dungeon in his basement where he used to referee hot man-on-man action? Remember when Slater said that Mr. Belding, Zack, and Screech would be there to watch? Remember how turned on that made you feel, because it seemed so kinky? Remember when you showed up at Mr. Belding's dungeon, dropped trow, and prepared your boner for a "swordfight" with Slater's little Mexican warrior? Remember how you were hung like a 3-month-old? Remember when Slater showed up with a real medieval sword? Remember when Mr. belding walked in and started the match? Remember when your tiny wang was no match for Slater's heavy medieval sword? Remember when Slater chopped off your baby-dick with the sword and you collapsed in shock from the blood loss? Remember when Zack and Mr. tuttle started laughing uncontrollably and both called you a "HUGE FAGGOT!!!"? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up your member from the ground, placed it in a tiny little hot dog bun, and then made you eat it? Remember how much pain you were in and you were so light-headed from the blood loss? Remember when you passed out and woke up to find Screech's dog, "Hound Dog," pissing on your perm? You sure got screwed over that time!

16th May 2005 - 12:22:34 AM
13557 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing kickball during gym class at Bayside? Remember when Kelly was at the plate and she kicked the ball to you while you were playing shortstop? Remember when you fielded the ball and wildly threw it toward Zack, the first baseman? Remember when you were so uncoordinated that the ball slipped as you threw it and it hit the second baseman in the head? Remember when the second basement was a weirdo that liked to be called the "Prince"? Remember when everyone thought he was a complete faggot? Remember how he was the only kid in school that you could beat up, as he was even more scrawny than you? Remember when he got up after you hit hit with the kickball and came at you crying and screaming like the big pussy that he was? Remember when he swung at you with flailing arms? Remember when you kicked him in the nuts and he fell over? Remember when a crowd started forming around you two yelling "FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!" as you squared off with the Prince? Remember when Mr. Belding ran out in the gym and said "hey, hey, hey, waht is going on here?" Remember when the Prince ran over to Belding and told him that you hit him with the kickball for no reason? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up the kickball and said "was it this kickball, you stupid FAGGOT?" as he whipped the ball at your face from a distance of a mere 10 feet away? Remember when the ball hit the Prince in his face, shattering his nose and spraying blood everywhere? Remember when the entire class started laughing and called the Prince a stupid piece of cocksucking shit? Remember when Slater said "whoa, that's a lot of blood" as Zack gave the Prince a legsweep, knocking him to the ground? Remember when Slater dropped trow and then dropped an HIV+ pile of shit on the Prince's bloody nose? Remember when the HIV from Slater's feces made its way into the Prince's bloodstream, giving the Prince HIV? Remember when Mr. Dewey, the science teacher, ran into the gym with a syringe and said "Prince, take this, it will make you better" as he injected the Prince? Remember when he finished the injection and then told everyone he had just injected the Prince with the Ebola virus? Remember when everyone started laughing? Remember how the Prince was a bloody, fecal-covered mess by this point? Remember when you said "alright, he's had enough... JUST KIDDING, WE'RE JUST GETTING WARMING UP!!!" as you kicking the Prince in the nuts and then yanked off his gym shorts? Remember when everyone laughed because the Prince was hung like a gnat? Remember when Slater, Zack, Mr. Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, and Mr. Dewey took turns stomping on the Prince's tiny hairless beanbag? Remember when I said "let me have a chance! I'm strong like an OX?" Remember when I stomped so hard on the Prince's nuts that his nutsack broke open and his tiny balls rolled out? Remember when Salter said "Prince, I think these belong to you" as he stuffed then down the Prince's throat? Remember when the Prince was in the hospital for months afterward and has been seeing a psychiatrist for years? Remember when you went to your 10-year Bayside high school reunion and discovered that the Prince had a sex change and now goes by the name "Princess Puessie"? Remember when Princess Peussie started posting retarded things in message board because he thinks they are funny, when in reality only a stupid fecal-munching pervert would find any of his postings funny? You and the Bayside gang sure screwed over the Prince in that episode!

11th May 2005 - 02:41:07 AM
13485 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Slater tripped you during a basketball game you were playing in gym class at Bayside? Remember when you told the teacher what had happened and Slater was sent to Mr. Belding's office? Remember when Mr. Belding called you down to his office and you thought he was going to ask about the incident so that he could document everything before suspending Slater? Remember when you walked into Mr. Belding's office and Slater jumped out from behind the door and punched you in the chin? Remember when MR. Belding stood up and you saw that he was naked and stroking his schlong while watching Slater beat your ass? Remember when Slater kepting punching you in the chest and ribs? Remember when he tore off your now-bloody Zubaz and had unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and blew his load in your 'fro? Remember when MR. Belding kicked you in the head and you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when an ambulance was called and you went to the hospital? Remember when Zack and Slater visited you after you came out of your coma? Remember how you were on an IV drip? Remember when Slater used medical tape to tape your hands together? Remember when you thought (and hoped) he was doing this so that he could have kinky gay sex with you? Remmeber when he yanked off the IV bag and took into the bathroom and took a runny shit in it? Remember when he came back out and hooked up the bag of his shit to the IV drip? Remember when you got blood poisoning and almost died? Remember when you went into another coma and permanently lost 25% of your brain's mental capacity? Slater sure got you good that time!

06th May 2005 - 12:54:13 AM
13438 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you learned about gravity in Mr. Tuttle's science class? Remember when Mr. Tuttle said that, assuming no wind resistance, two objects of different mass dropped from the same height would hit the ground at the same time? Remember when you said you didn't believe him? Remember when Slater yelled from the back of the class "SHUT UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!!!!" Remember when everybody except you laughed hysterically at Slater's insult? Remember when Mr. Tuttle asked the class to calm down and then told everyone to go the the roof for a test? Remember when Mr. Tuttle dropped a nickel off the roof and everyone watched it hit the ground? Remember when you leaned over the edge of the roof to get a bird's eye view of the nickel? Remember when Mr. Tuttle said it was time to drop more things? Remember when he held an apple in his left hand and then walked over to you and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when you fell over in pain and then Zack and Slater picked you up and fired you off the room as Mr. Tuttle dropped the apple? Remember when the apple and your scrawny body both hit the pavement at the same time? Remember when Slater said he still didn't understand the law of gravity, so Mr. Tuttle told Zack and him to drop trow and piss off the roof? Remember when Zack, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle all pissed off the roof, and their urine landed on your mangled body? Remember when they were done urinating and then started throwing gravel from the roof down onto you? Remember when you were struck in the eye with a little rock thrown by Slater and suffered permanent damage to your cornea? Remember when Zack took off his shoe and threw it at your head from the top of the roof? Remember when it hit you in the head, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up and were paralyzed in a hospital? Remember when your nurse was a flaming HIV+ homosexual? Remember when he used to drug you up and unload his HIV+sperm in your mouth? Remember when you contracted HIV from him and now have full-blown AIDS? You sure got screwed over that time!

03rd May 2005 - 12:36:39 AM
13391 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you wanted to try out for Bayside's band? Remember how you were so distraught because you thought that your mom was too poor to afford to purchase a musical instrument for you? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office and explained your predicament? Remember when he put his middle-aged arms around you to comfort you? Remember when his wandering hands reached into your Zubaz and he inserted several gumballs into your rectum that he had just purchased from the gumball machine in the cafeteria? Remember when he forcibly removed the gumballs from your nether region and made you eat them, completely against your will? Remember when Mr. Belding said "Screech, I have a wonderful idea! How about a Russian Trombone?" Remember when you didn't know what a Russian Trombone was? Remember when you said "Are you going to give me a Russian Trombone?" Remember when he said, "no, you're going to give me one, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he threw you on you floor, dropped trow and then made you give his a Russian Trombone? Remember when he'd had enough and 90 minutes later said "that's enough Screech. Now's it's my turn to give you something! How about a 'Dizzy Gillespie'!" Remember how you didn't know what he was talking about? Remember when he sat on your mouth and farted? Remember when your cheeks filled with his smelly ass gas, and they puffed up like Dizzy Gillespie's when the famous musician would play his trumpet? Belding sure got you good that time!

Special thanks to Ox Fan for the support.

29th April 2005 - 01:40:47 AM
13335 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you got butt-raped in gym class again and decided you had to learn to protect yourself? Remember when you decided to go to the weight room after school to buy some steroids that you heard were dealt there? Remember when you saw me injecting Slater with 'roids over by the leg press machine? Remember when you walked up to Slater after he got the shot and asked for some of the "juice"? Remember when he said, "sure, I'll juice you up! Give me $50 first!" Remember when you paid him and then he punched you in the eye, knocking you over? Remember when he said "here comes the juice, FAGGOT!!!" as he pulled down his pants? Remember when he unleashed a torrent of warm diarrhea in your face and then said, "I'm juicing you up, you piece of SHIT! How do you like the juice now?" Slater sure screwed you over that time!"

18th April 2005 - 12:48:23 AM
13156 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you where playing basketball in gym class? Remember when Slater checked the ball off your huge gonzo nose? Remember when your nose started bleeding because he threw the ball so hard? Remember when you started crying like a little bitch? Remember when the gym teacher told you to go to the nurse's office? Remember when the nurse gave you a shot to calm you down? Remember when you came to and discovered you were lying naked in a patient's bed in the nurse's office with your arms and legs tied to the bed? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked in and called you a huge faggot? Remember when he slapped you in the head and started laughing at you? Remember how it was allergy season and his nose was really runny? Remember when he walked up to you and you thought he was going to untie you? Remember when he instead blew his nose right in your face? Remember when he started flicking boogers out of nose nose and into your mouth and eyes? Remember when he spit in your hair? Remember when Mr. Belding walked in and said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when he saw you with boogers and spit on your face and started laughing his ass off? Remember when he dropped trow, revealing his wrinkled middle-aged cock? Remember when he started stroking himself and blew his load in your poofy afro? Remember when he also blew his nose in your eye and flicked boogers into your mouth? Remember when Slater walked in the room from gym class and was carrying the basketball from class? Remember when he whipped it in your face, breaking your nose? Remember when Zack walked in and ripped a nasty fart right in your face? Remember when Zack and Slater then took turns picking their noses and wiping their boogers in your hair? Remember when Slater finished your off by unloading a huge pile of shit in your 'fro? Remember when everyone walked out and returned to class, leaving your by yourself for the next 5 hours as the bodily fluids in your hair hardened? Remember when Mr. Dewey finally released you in time to catch the bus home? Remember when it took several weeks to get all of the boogers, shit, jizz, and spit out of your hair? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

06th April 2005 - 01:26:08 AM
13046 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where it was Valentine's Day? Remember how depressed you were when you didn't have a date for the evening? Remember how disappointed you were when none of the boys in your gym class who used to have unprotected buttsex with you against your will asked you to dinner? Remember how excited you became when Mr. Belding called you down to his office? Remember when he asked you what you were doing that evening? Remember when you were embarassed and said "nothing." Remember when he asked you to meet him after school and that he'd give you some seafood? Remember when he asked if you liked to eat crabs? Remember when you said you'd never had them, but you were willing to try them out? Remember when when you showed up at his office after school? Remember when he threw you on the floor and teabagged you? Remember how he threw you around like a rag doll? Remember when he blew his load and said "get out." Remember when you said "but what about the crabs?" Remember when he said "Shut Up Faggot!!! I just gave you crabs!!!" Remember when you were confused and thought he was just confused? Remember how surprised you were when you found out that Belding have given you the crabs from his filthy nutasck? Remember when your genitals itched something fierce for weeks? Belding sure got you good that time!

01st April 2005 - 12:36:01 AM
12984 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you thought everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember how much you cried as you masturbated to Slater's picture on the yearbook? Remember how you sulked all day and you thought that nobody cared about you? Remember when you were paged over the PA system by Mr. Belding, who asked you to come down to your office? Remember how excited you got because you figured he was going to throw you a party in his office? Remember when you walked down to his office and opened the door, only to discover that the lights were off and you couldn't see anything? Remember when you fumbled about, walking aimlessly toward the center of the room? Remember when you smelly something unusual and tried to walked toward it? Remember when you heard a really loud fart and then were immediately coated with a smelly, warm, and chunky liquid? Remember when the lights flipped on and you saw Mr. Belding in front of you, with his pants off, bent at his waist and grabbing his ankles with his asshole staring directly at you? Remember when you realized that he had sprayed diarrhea all over your body? Remember when you heard laughing and turned around and saw Slater, Mr.Tuttle, Zack, and Zack's dad pointing at you and laughing their asses off? Remember when Lisa walked into the office and called you a smelly faggot? Remember how your Zubaz were ruined? Remember when you contracted typhoid from Mr. Belding's excrement? Remember when Zack's dad said he'd drive you over to the mall to get a new pair of Zubaz? Remember when you hopped in the car and he drove you over to the city landfill? Remember when he dragged you out of his car, yanked off your smelly Zubaz and shoved Zack's huge cordless phone up your poop chute? You really got screwed over that time!

Archived January-March 2005 "Remember When" stories

28th March 2005 - 11:29:37 PM
12930 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where your Bayside class visited downtown LA to check out some different businesses as part of a 'Career Day'? Remember when they used the 'buddy system' and paired you up with Zack and Slater? Remember when you walked past the downtown library and saw all of the bums and made fun of them to Zack and Slater? Remember when Slater said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when you got scared and started crying? Remember when Slater kicked you in the back and told you to go away? Remember when you ran to the back side of the library with your skinny little arms flailing in the wind? Remember when you walked past a row of dumpsters behind the library? Remember when you were sobbing loudly and got scared when you thought you heard something moving in one of the dumpsters? Remember when you went in for a closer look? Remember when you looking in one of the dumpsters and saw two smelly and diseased bums pulling a train with actor Andy Dick? Remember when this sight turned you on, so you pulled out your penis and started masturbating? Remember when someone put a hand on your shoulder and you felt uneasy? Remember when you said "excuse me, sir?" Remember when the man smashed your face into the edge of the dumpster and you fell over? Remember when you looked up and realized that a smelly bum had done this? Remember when the bum whistled and the lids on two of the dumpsters were flung open, revealing many naked men in the middle of a homosexual orgy? Remember when you recognized Mr. Belding and Zack's dad as two of the men participating in the gay orgy with some bums? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over to you and you though he would be your savior? Remember when he bent over and you thought he was going to help you up? Remember when instead of helping you, he sat on your face, draped his nuts on your face for a heavy pair of Arabian goggles, and unleashed a torrent of diarrhea into your mouth? Remember when Belding got up and one of the bums kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack's dad walked over and said "let me clean you up" as he whipped out his penis and pissed in your mouth? Remember when Belding whipped out his middle-aged cock and pissed on your head? Remember when one of the bums unleashed an HIV+ shit on your chest and another bum picked up the shit and shoved it in your mouth? Remember when a second bum cleaned his dirty asshole with your poofy and urine-soaked afro? Remember when Belding, Zack's dad, and the bums finally finished with you and then walked off, leaving you for dead? Remember when you heard some uncontrollable laughter and saw Zack and Slater walking toward you with a video camera? Remember when you said "why didn't you guys help me?" Remember when they said "shut up FAGGOT!!! We're going to sell video of this on the Internet!!!" Remember when you said you were going to tell the police? Remember when Slater said "if you do that, we'll post these pictures on the Internet" as they showed you two pictures, one of which showed you tossing Mr. Belding's salad, and the other of which showed Zack and Slater pulling a train with Mrs. Powers? Remember when Zack and Slater did sell the tape on the Internet, but they registered their business in your name? Remember when the police thought you were selling the videotape and sent you to jail for distributing child pornography? You sure got screwed over that time!!

23rd March 2005 - 10:02:11 PM
12865 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Mr. Belding wore a new suit to Bayside? Remember how cool he thought he looked in it? Remember when he strutted down the hallway? Remember how he wasn't wearing underwear at the time and his middle-aged package was shifting from side-to-side as he strutted? Remember how you were fixated on his crotch? Remember when the queer student whose nickname was 'lovethenut' (because he loved gobbling down nut butter of the athletes on the wrestling team after their workouts) tried to grab Mr. Belding's wrinkled ass? Remember when you pushed that fruit out of the way so you could get a better look at Belding's mid-section?
Remember when your eyes got really big as you stared at Mr. Belding's package? Remember when Slater saw this and got pissed? Remember when he charged at you and knocked you over with a 'clothes-line'? Remember when he dropped trow, grabbed your 'fro and used your gonzo nose to clean his ass? Remember when you started crying? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and whipped out his middle-aged cock? Remember how his pubes were grey and his nut sack was wrinkled? Remember when he said he would wash away your worries as he began giving you a golden shower? Remember when instead of washing away your worries, you contracted herpes on your eye from his diseased urine? The Bayside gang really screwed you over that time!

20th March 2005 - 09:31:56 PM
12811 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding's brother Rod was a substitute teacher at Bayside? Remember how he dressed like a burnout with long blonde hair, which resembled singer Michael's Bolton's 'do of the early 90s? Remember how everyone though he was a really hip dude, way cooler than his straight-laced principal brother? Remember when Mr. Belding introduced Rod to the class? Remember when, being the retarded queer that you are, you said "Two Belding's in one building, one of whom is balding!" Remember when you also said you were shocked that Rod was Principal Belding's brother because he had much more hair? Remember when you then remarked that Principal Belding had a much bigger forehead than Rod? Remember how incensed Mr. Belding became? Remember when his face turned bright red and he walked out in a huff? Remember when class ended and you walked over to the locker room to get ready for gym class? Rememeber when you opened the door and Mr. Belding jumped out from behind the door? Remember when he said "I'm gonna get you, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he slugged you in the gut with a field hockey stick, breaking two of your ribs, and knocking you down on the floor? Remember when Slater came running at you and kicking you in the head, knocking out your front teeth? Remember how he was dressed as his pet lizard, Artie, which he would frequently dress as because he derived great homosexual pleasure by dressing up as animals? Remember when Zack came crashing throught the door and you thought he was going to save you? Remember when instead of saving you, he kicked you in the head, dropped trow and pissed on your face? Remember when Mr. Belding yanked off your pants and said "you've been a bad boy. Now you're gonna pay!!!" Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you while Slater unleashed an HIV+ pile of shit on your head? Remember when Rod walked in and said "Richard, cut it out! I want to get some!" Remember when Rod dropped trow and teabagged you while Zack continued washing away your tears with a golden shower? Remember when you contracted 'the clap' and AIDS from this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Beldings really got you good that time!

Thumbs up to Rocco and Dner for their recent 'remember when' stories.

16th March 2005 - 01:11:36 AM
12759 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss where you were first given the nickname 'Screech'? Remember how it all started in gym class one day where you were changing at the end of class? Remember when you really had to go to the bathroom, so you went to the bathroom stall and dropped a huge load of crap? Remember how this took several minutes, and by the time you had wiped and were done, you were the only one left in the locker room? Remember when somebody suddenly switched off the lights and you fumbled around in the dark? Remember when you heard footsteps and what sounded like a mop being pushed around on the floor? Remember when the lights came back on and you were startled to see Mr. Belding and Milo, the black janitor, right in front of you? Remember how relieved you were to see these guys? Remember how the relief quickly changed to terror when Milo struck you in the face with the end of the mop? Remember when you fell over and bled on the floor? Remember when Belding yanked off your shorts and Mikey, your Italian mullet-headed classmate, jumped out from behind a locker and you saw that he was naked? Remember when oil from his greasy Italian hair kept dripping all over the place? Remember when Mikey kicked you in the back and then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pulled out and blew his wad in your curly afro? Remember when Belding and Milo did the same? Remember when you started screaming in pain and Mikey pulled out a cassette recorder and recorded your screams so he could jerk off to them later? Remember when he played it over the Intercom one day and everyone heard you screeching in pain from the unprotected buttsex? Remember when from that day forward, everyone started calling you 'Screech' and would tell you that you were a huge faggot? You really got screwed over that time!

15th March 2005 - 01:57:21 AM
12746 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where the air conditioning at Bayside broke and the school got really hot? Remember when you were sweating profusely and the huge pubic afro on your head started dripping sweat all over the place? Remember when you complained to Mr. Tuttle that you were too hot, and he told you to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!" Remember when you were very frightened by Mr. Tuttle's outburst and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when everyone in class started laughing at you and you sprinted out of the classroom with your boney little arms flailing every which way like a huge queer? Remember when you ran to Mr. Belding's office and he said he'd cool you down? Remember when he pointed at your shirt and asked "what's that?" Remember when you looked down and Belding hit you square in the jaw, knocking you out? Remember when you came too and discovered that you were completely naked, your hands and legs were duct taped, and Slater was buttslamming you against your will? Remember when Slater pulled out and unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your mouth? Remember when Belding asked if that helped cool you off and you started crying? Remember when Belding said "I'll give you something to cry about" as he and Slater picked you up and fired you into a port-a-potty by the football field? Remember when they managed to stuff your tiny body into the blue water below the toilet seat? Remember when Slater took a shit on you while Belding pissed on your 'fro? Remember when you were stuck in there with rancid feces and urine for 2 weeks, until the next home football game? That's what you get for bitching about being too hot! You sure had egg on your face that time!

09th March 2005 - 12:56:41 AM
12670 : Ox
Screech, do you remember that episode where everyone in Mr. Tuttle's Social Studies class had to dress up in an ethnic costume? Remember how confused you were and you didn't know what to dress up as? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office to ask for his advice? Remember how embarassed he was when you opened the door to his office becasue he had just ripped a nasty fart. Remember when he told you he'd eaten burritoes for lunch and had been running to the bathroom every 10 minutes? Remember when you asked what you should dress as for Tuttle's social studies class? Remember when he suggested you go as an Indian? Remember when he suggested one of those slik shirts that Indians wear? Remember when you thanked him and got up to leave his office? Remember when he said "but Screech, you still need one of those dots for your forehead?" Remember how happy you were when he said he could give the dot? Remember how much less happy you were 3 minutes later when Mr. Belding threw you on the ground, gave you a sweaty pair of Arabian goggles, and his asshole left a dark 'shit dot' on your forehead? Remember when iy took a full three weeks for Belding's feces to finally fade from your head? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

04th March 2005 - 01:54:57 AM
12605 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Zack had a crush on the hot brunette nurse? Remember how nervous Zack got around her and how he really wanted to ask her out? Remember how Salter competed with Zack to get her? Remember when you were sent to the nurse's office because the herpes Zack's dad had given you had flared up? Remember when you walked into nurse's office and saw Zack and Slater pulling a train with the nurse? Remember how horny you were and when Zack asked if you want some 'train action' yourself? Remember when you eagerly replied 'yes?' Remember when you dropped trow and pulled out your tiny penis? Remember when everyone laughed because you were hung like a three-month-old? Remember when you walked over to Zack and Slater and startled when Mr. Belding jumped out from behind a curtain? Remember when you asked why he was there and he said he also wanted some 'train action?' Remember when you told him he'd have to wait his turn because the nurse only had 3 holes? Remember when Mr. Belding said 'who cares about her? You've got 2 tight holes and that's all that Mr. Tuttle and I need, bitbh!" Remember when Mr. Tuttle jumped out of the closet and broke a yardstick over your head, knocking you out? Remember when you struggled to breath as you came to and realized that Mr. Belding was teabagging you while Mr. Tuttle pounded you from behind? Remember when Mr. Tuttle transmitted HIV to you during this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

01st March 2005 - 12:28:56 AM
12544 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you were taking playing baseball at Bayside during gym class? Remember how Mr. Belding was the substitute gym teacher that day? Remember when you were at bat and Slater was on deck? Remember when Mr. Belding was the pitcher? Remember when you stood in the batter's box and got ready to hit? Remember when Mr. Belding threw an inside fastball and drilled you in the nuts? Remember when you doubled over in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding ran over and asked if your ass was bleeding? Remember when you said "no, just my nuts?" Remember when Mr. Belding said "well, your ass is going to be bleeding soon?" Remember when you had no idea what he was taking about? Remember when Slater dropped trow, rolled over your mangled body and teabagged you as you cried out in obvious pain? Remember when Zack pissed on your hairless chest as Slater unleashed a brown torrent of diarrhea all over your head? Remember when Mr. Belding said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here???" as he tore off your underoos and bounced you up and down on his cock as if it was a jack hammer? Remember when he pulled out and squirted his load in your eye? Remember when he and Slater enjoyed their bliss for about 15 seconds until they picked up your mangled body and fired it into a dumpster. Slater still wistfully reminisces about that episode? You really got screwed over?

25th February 2005 - 06:04:30 PM
12504 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you, Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding all watched "The Karate Kid" over at Mr. Tuttle's house after school one day? Remember how much you liked the movie because Daniel LaRusso, the star, was a nerdy kid like you? Remember how LaRusso got beat up all the time until he met Mr. Miyagi, a Japanese immigrant who taught him to defend himself with karate? Remember how he taught Daniel karate in unusal ways by making him paint his fence, wax his car, etc.? Remember how you wished you knew karate so that you'd be able to fight off all of the males bullies in your gym class who used to have unprotected buttsex with you (against your will) in the bathroom stall before class? Remember how after school a few days later you were walking home from Bayside when you bumped into a middle-aged Japanese man? Remember when you asked him if he knew karate, and he said that he did? Remember when you asked him if he would teach you the art, and he said he would if you did some chores for him? Remember when you said you understood and had seen all the unusual exercises Danny did in the movie and would do whatever he asked? Remember when he took you into an abandoned shed behind the local gas station, dropped trow, and told you to suck him off? Remember when he said that this exercise would teach you concentration, which is crucial in a fight? Remember when you continued to do this for the next two months until you finally realized that he was just a diseased Japanese bum who didn't even know karate? Remember when he gave you gonorrhea? You really got screwed over that time!

21st February 2005 - 10:48:53 PM
12443 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you and the Bayside gang reported to the gym for flu shots? Remember how a couple of old nurses from a local clinic showed up to administer the shots? Remember when you got in line behind Zack and Slater? Remember when you got more and more scared as you waited your turn in line? Remember when you had a panic attack and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Mr. Belding pulled you aside and took you into the gym teacher's office to catch your breath? Remember when you finally got your breathing under control and told Mr. Belding that you were ready for your flu shot? Remember when Mr. Belding said that the nurses had already left because they'd run out of shots? Remember how disappointed you became until Mr. Belding told you that he'd managed to save a shot for you? Remember when he asked if you were ready and you enthusiastically replied "yes!"??? Remember when Mr. Belding said "ok, here it is" as he stood up and dropped trow? Remember how confused you were, but Mr. Belding assured you that this was the proper way to dispense the vaccine? Remember how you stupidly believed him? Remember when he buttslammed you for the next 10 minutes while "administering the medicine" as he so eloquently put it? Remember when he finally finished and you limped back to class in obvious pain? Remember when you thought to yourself "man that was painful, but at least I'm vaccintated against the flu?" Remember how instead of getting the flu that winter, instead you contracted herpes from Mr. Belding? Remember when you found out that the herpres had cut short your life expectancy by about 15 years? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

10th February 2005 - 12:22:58 AM
12296 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding butt-slammed you for the first time? Remember how he did this against your will and repeated this every single day for your last two years at Bayside? Remember how after a while you learned to enjoy the anal pounding and grew quite fond of Mr. Belding? Remember how Mr. Belding was always the pitcher and he would make you suck him off also? Remember when you asked if you could do him an the butt with your hairless genitals, and he bluntly refused? Remember when he said he had hemmoroids that would painfully flair up if you pounded him? Remember how you naively believed his b.s. story? Remember when during your last sememster at Bayside you noticed that his ass smelled like baked tortillas while you tossed his salad? Remember when you didn't think anything of it until that time after school when you walked into his office and saw Slater giving Mr. Belding a thorough butt-slamming? Remember when you started crying and asked Mr. Belding how he could do this to you? Remember when Belding called you a "stupid faggot" and then threw you on the ground, teabagged you until he blew his load on your chest? Remember when that made you feel a little bit better until Slater took a smelly Mexican shit in your mouth? Belding and Slater really screwed you over that time!

06th January 2005 - 12:25:50 AM
11870 : Ox
Screech, remember that one episode where Mr. Belding had unprotected buttsex with you for the 1,000th time and you told him you loved him? Remember when you asked if he was finally ready to be seen in public with you so that the whole world could see you two lovebirds? Remember when he told you he couldn't do that because he'd lose his job as a principal? Remember when you reluctantly told him you understood and asked him if you two could try something new? Rememner when he asked what you had in mind and you told him that you wanted to buttslam him for the first time ever? Remember when he said he couldn't do that because of his hemmoroids? Remember when he then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pounded you so hard that you walked with a limp the rest of the week? Remember when you walked into his office the next Monday to give your ass to him only to discover Slater pounding away at Belding's ass? Remember when you ran out of the room crying? Remember the next day when you saw them kissing in public and finally realized that Belding had been lying to you for years and was merely using you for gay sex, and nothing else? Remember you ran over to Zack's house bawling? Remember when Zack wasn't home, but his dad let you in and then buttslammed you against your will? Mr. Belding and Zack's dad really screwed you over that time!

Screech's "Camping Trip" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where your parents told you that singer Neil Diamond was your cousin? Remember how excited you were when Neil took you camping in the Foothill Mountains of Southern California? Remember how he brought his sleeping bag and a tent for you two to sleep in? Remember when you had to sleep with him in his sleeping bag because you didn't realize that you were supposed to bring your sleeping bag? Remember how you were thinking to yourself that it was so awesome that a celebrity was your cousin as you drifted off to sleep that evening? Remember how much less awesome you thought it was when he molested you and you woke up to him butt-raping you? Remember how deeply disturbed you were afterward? Remember how you needed to talk to someone about this horrible encounter? Remember how Bayside had been undergoing budget cuts so Mr. Belding was doubling as the school's counselor? Remember when you went into his office the first thing Monday morning and told him about what had happened? Remember how emotional you were and you cried for about 45 minutes as you told Mr. Belding about the trauma you had experienced? Remember when you were interrupted and stopped talking when you started to hear a mysterious slapping sound coming from behind Mr. Belding's desk? Remember when you asked Belding what that noise was? Remember when you noticed he was sweating as he mumbled that he didn't know what it was? Remember when you stood up and saw that he was jerking off? Remember when he apologized and told you he couldn't help himself because the story about Neil Diamond raping you was "so hot?" Remember when you started crying again and then Belding stood up and you thought he was going to give you a comforting hug? Remember when he instead blew his load on your Zubaz and then punched you in the face and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when he picked up his chair and broke it over your back? Remember when he took a shit on your poofy jew-fro and then opened his window and threw you out into the dumpster behind his office with all of the other trash? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Dodgers game" episode recap

Posted: Oct 3 2005, 03:27 AM
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took you, Zack, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle to a Dodgers game? Remember when you were hungry and want to eat peanuts? Remember how you kept looking around and didn't see any peanut vendors walking around? Remember when you started whining to Mr. Belding and asked him to go buy you some peanuts? Remember when Slater yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING PIECE OF COCKSUCKING SHIT!!!" Remember when Mr. Belding told Slater to relax and then told you that he didn't have any money with him, but that he had some peanuts left over from the previous evening's Dodgers game? Remember when you asked for them and he said he would have to go get them? Remember when Belding said to come with him and you two left your seats? Remember when Mr. Belding walked 2/3 of the way around the stadium until he reached an unmarked orange door? Remember when Belding said he left his peanuts in the room behind the door? Remember how you thought to yourself that Belding sure picked an unusual place to keep his extra peanuts and wondered why he hasn't simply kept his extra peanuts in his pocket? Remember when you smelled the odor of baked tortillas emanating from the room behind the orange door and wondered what was back there? Remember when Belding opened the door and you and he walked in and saw Mr. Tuttle tossing Slater's salad on a folding chair? Remember when you said, "what is going on here?" Remember when Belding said "FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!!" and then Zack jumped out from behind a curtain and smacked you in your right kneecap with a baseball bat? Remember when you fell over and started crying? Remember when Belding said "I'll give you something to cry about, SHITHEAD!!!" Remember when Zack rolled you onto your back and tore off all of your clothes and you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Zack started doing you in the butt? Remember when Belding dropped his pants, grabbed your jew-fro and then said "Screech, HERE COME THE PEANUTS!!!" and then took a nasty shit in your mouth? Remember when his excrement had dozens of undigested peanuts that Belding had eaten the previous night? Remember when Belding said, "are they salty enough, you worthless piece of CRAP???" Remember when Belding wiped his ass clean with your jew-fro and then squirted his salty load in your mouth? Remember when Tuttle said "My turn" and then grabbed you and bounced your gimpy body up and down on his cock as though you were a rag doll? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your poopchute? Remember when Zack and Slater then started kicking you and stomping on your head and nuts for the next 10 minutes, until they finally got tired and stopped? Remember when Slater, Zack, Tuttle, and Belding got dressed, gave each other "high-five's," and then walked out and shut the door leaving you for dead? Remember when a janitor found you several hours later and after sodomizing you with his broomstick, called the hospital and an ambulance came and picked you up? Remember when you were in the emergency room on life support for several hours that evening and almost died? Remember how you walk with a permanent limp to this day because of the shattered kneecap Zack gave you that fateful day? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!!

The "Smart Pills" episode recap

Posted: Sep 28 2005, 04:17 AM
Screech, remember that episode when you had the pop quiz in Mr. Dewey's history class? Remember how Slater's photograph was in the LA Times the day before for winning the high school wrestling championship? Remember how Slater was in his tight wrestling uniform in the picture? Remember how you stared at his lumpy crotch in the picture and started masturbating? Remember how you had stayed up all night tossing off to Slater's picture and couldn't concentrate during the test? Remember when you only received 60% on the test, a D-? Remember when you started crying when Mr. Dewey passed out the graded tests the next day? Remember when everyone started laughing and Mr. Dewey called you a "Stupid FAGGOT!!!" and told everyone that you only got a D- on the test? Remember when you ran out of class and over to Mr. Belding's office? Remember when Belding asked what was wrong and then caressed you as you explained what had happened? Remember you told Belding that you were concerned that you were getting dumber and wanted to get back your intelligence so you wouldn't have to just go by your hideous physical appearance? Remember when Belding said "Sure thing, I'll help you screech." Remember when he handed you a jar of chocolate chunks and said "here's some smart pills. Eat three each morning." Remember when you thanked him and followed his instructions? Remember when you stopped by his office the next week and he asked how the therapy was going? Remember when you complained that the smart pills were very bitter and tasted like shit? Remember when Belding said, "well, I see that they are working! You're getting smarter already!!" and then informed you that the smart pills were in fact chunks of his own shit? Remember when your eyes started to well up with tears? Remember when Belding said, "Don't cry little buddy" and then kicked you in the nuts? Remember when you fell over and then heard him lock the door and shut his blinds? Remember when he tore off you clothes and then dropped his pants? Remember how he manhandled you for the next three hours, bouncing you up and down on his cock until you were bleeding all over the place and he had lost 5 loads? Remember how you screamed for help but nobody came to your rescue? Remember when he was finally done and then unlocked his door? Remember when Mr. tuttle walked in, laughed, and said that he'd been listening to the commotion outside the door for the past hour? Remember when you looked down and saw that he was naked and jerking off? Remember when he blew his load in your eye, temporarily blinding you? Remember when Belding and Tuttle picked you up and carried you out to the alley by the cafeteria? Remember when they fired your lifeless body into one of the dumpsters? You sure got screwed over that time!

Message to Hitoshi, the "I LEIK Milk" Guy

Hitoshi, remember when I gave you a milk enema? Remember when a fat, balding middle-aged high school principal named "Mr. Belding" tied you up and had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your ass? Remember when he said "welcome to my HIV world, Hitoshi, you stupid FAGGOT!!!" Remember when you went the free clinic the next day and discovered you had had not only contracted HIV from Mr. Belding, but you also discovered that he had given you herpes as well? Belding and I sure got you good that time!

"Chips" episode recap

Screech, do you remember that episode where you were on the field trip to the zoo? Remember when you were eating lunch at a picnic table with Tuttle, Belding, Slater and Zack? Remember when Belding pulled out a bag of potato chips and started eating them? Remember when he shared his potato chips with Slater, Tuttle, and Zack? Remember how you had forgotten to pack a lunch that day and were very hungry? Remember when you kept staring at the potato chip bag until you finally asked Belding if you could have some chips? Remember when Belding replied "Screech, you really want some chips? Well then I'll give you some, good buddy!" Remember when Slater jumped over the table and slugged you in the gut and you doubled over struggling to breathe? Remember when Tuttle picked you up and threw you on top of the table and held you down with Zack's assistance? Remember when Belding stood up on the picnic table and stepped on your nuts? Remember when he dropped trow and said "Screech, here come the chips, enjoy them, you STUPID COCKSUCKING FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when Belding then began shaking his matted ass hair, loosening dried up fecal chips that fell down into onto your face and into your mouth? Remember how he hadn't washing his ass for months, and he shook loose the fecal chips for about half an hour until he got tired and stopped? Remember how everyone attending the field trip were laughing their asses off as Belding coated you with his "chips?" Remember when Belding put his pants back on and then he and Slater tore off your clothes and carried you over to the Zebra cage and threw you in? Remember how the Zebra was a horny male who proceeded to assrape you? Remember when all of the other students on the field trip laughed hysterically as you cried out in pain? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

"The Clown" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where the circus came to visit Bayside? Remember when a couple clowns visited Mr. Tuttle's class? Remember when the first clown, named "Bozo," showed you and the class a series of magic tricks and balloon animals? Remember when the second clown, named "Cookie," asked the class for a volunteer? Remember when you eagerly raised your hand? Remember when Cookie blew up a long balloon and handed it to you? Remember when he asked you to tie a balloon know? Remember when you replied "what's a balloon knot?" Remember when Cookie said "I'll show you," and then threw you down on the ground as he dropped trow? Remember when you looked up and saw his asshole staring back as you from a foot away? Remember when he said "can you see MY balloon knot, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he unleashed a torrent of diarrhea that spray all over your face, poofy hair, and Zubaz? Remember when Cookie turned around and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when the entire class started laughing? Remember when Cookie turned around and took off his make-up and you discovered that Mr. Belding had been dressed up as Cookie the entire time? Remember when Belding stepped on your nuts and then teabagged you while Slater had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the entire class while Mr. Tuttle jerked off? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Tainted Love" episode recap

16th August 2005 - 11:02:32 PM
71748 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss when you were listening to a tape of hits from the 80s on your Walkman during your lunch period? Remember when Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" was played and you were singing along? Remember when Zack said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DICKHEAD!!!" and ordered you to stop? Remember when you started crying and ran to the bathroom to wipe away your tears? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and ran into Milo, the janitor, who was cleaning up the urinal after your friend Mikey had taken a shit in it? Remember when Milo asked what was wrong and you told him that the other kids were making fun of you because you were singing "Tainted Love"? Remember when Mile replied "hey White Chowder, do you really like Tainted Love"? Remember when you replied that you did? Remember when he said "well then why don't I give you some tainted love then, Snowflake"! Remember when Milo threw you face first into the bathroom stall and then yanked off your Zubaz and lodged the handle of his mop in your rectum? Remember when he dropped trow and rubbed his taint all over your face and then took a shit on your 'fro? Remember when he said "give me some 'tainted love,' FAG!!!" Remember when he rolled you over and had unprotected buttsex with you just like he used to do with the HIV+ inmates at the county jail when he served his sentence for child molestation? Milo sure got you good that time!

"Screech Learns About Swirlies" episode recap

15th August 2005 - 11:55:05 PM
71283 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you went to the Dairy Queen with Zack and Mr. Belding? Remember when you arrived at the Diary Queen and ran into Slater, who had just come over from the Taco Bell? Remember how Slater was finishing up a chocolate milkshake? Remember when Slater asked you if you wanted a "chocolate swirlie"? Remember when you looked up at the menu and told Slater that you didn't see "chocolate swirlie" listed on the menu? Remember when Slater said not to worry about it because it was a new product? Remember when Slater headed toward the bathroom and mentioned he'd be right back? Remember when Slater returned and you were upset because Belding was eating a pudding pop and Zack was eating a sundae, but you weren't eating anything because you were waiting for Slater to give you the chocolate swirlie? Remember when Slater asked you to follow him to a secret room where he'd present you with the chocolate swirlie? Remember when he pushed you into the bathroom and you said "Slater, are you giving me the chocolate swirlie in here?" Remember when he replied that he was going to do so? Remember when Belding walked into the bathroom and slugged you in the back? Remember when Belding grabbed your left leg and Slater grabbed your right and they dragged you into the second stall, where Slater had just sprayed an enormous amount of smelly Taco-Bell induced diarrhea? Remember when Slater and Belding dunked your head in the toilet bowl and Slater said "he's your chocolate swirlie, FAGGOT!!!" as he flushed the toilet? Remember when you saw one of Slater's huge turds swirl past your eyes as the filthy disease-ridden watery waste flushed down the toilet? Remember when you got typhoid from Slater's filthy feces and spend a month in the hospital in Intensive Care? Slater sure got you good that time!

"Screech and the Love Tester" episode recap

14th August 2005 - 02:07:51 PM
70128 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Slater's old girlfriend Jennifer, from the army military base, transferred to Bayside? Remember when Zack and you were supposed to keep Jennifer away from Jessie, Slater's current girlfriend, until Slater could figure out what to do? Remember when you stupidly told Jennifer that Jessie was Slater's girlfriend? Remember when Mr. Tuttle's science class was building science projects? Remember when you and Kelly built a "love tester" that measured compatibility between two people? Remember when you hooked on of the prongs up to Zack and the other to Jennifer? Remember when the machine indicated that they were very compatible? Remember when Slater became jealous and grabbed the prong from Zack? Remember when the machine started making noises and indicated that the compatibility between Jennifer and Slater was the highest possible? Remember when Mr. Belding barged into the classroom and said, "hey, hey, hey what is going on here?" Remember how pissed Mr. Belding was about all of the noise emanating from the classroom? Remember when you explained that you had built a love-testing machine? Remember when Mr. Belding said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when Belding said he wanted to test the machine out? Remember when he hooked up the machine to you and Jennifer, and then you and Lisa, you and Kelly, and you and Jessie? Remember how the machine indicated the lowest level of compatibility between you and those girls? Remember when Belding said "one more test" and then dropped trow and yanked off your Zubaz? Remember then he hooked up one prong to his penis and the other prong to your asshole? Remember when the machine went bonkers and indicated the highest level of compatibility? Remember when Belding said "Screech, I guess this is fate" as he proceeded to having unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the whole class while Mt. Tuttle masturbated? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech Plays Hacky Sack" episode recap

08th August 2005 - 01:41:21 AM
66446 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from the College Years where you showed up and met your RA, Mr. Rogers, for the first time? Remember how much you liked his mullet? Remember when you told how how hip and cool it looked, and he said "thanks"? Remember when he asked you if you wanted to play "hacky sack" with Zack and him? Remember when you told him you would if you knew what hacky sack was? Remember when Mr. Rogers told you that hacky sack was a game where a group up people line up in a circle and take turns kicking around a bean bag? Remember when you said that the game sounded like fun and agreed to play? Remember when Mr. Rogers led you into his room where Zack was waiting? Remember when Mr. Rogers asked Zack where the bean bag was? Remember when Zack replied "Screech has it"? Remember you said that you didn't have it, and wondered what was wrong with Zack? Remember when Zack replied "yes you do, BITCH!!!" and then kicked you in the nuts? Remember when Zack said "Screech, we're playing with your hairless bean bag today, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when Mr. Rogers jumped at you and then also kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack then kicked you again and he and Mr. Rogers took turned kicking you in your nutsac for the next 15 minutes? Remember when they finally stopped and then Slater and Mr. Belding jumped out of Mr. Rogers' closet, where they had apparently been hiding for the previous half hour? Remember how Mr. Belding was dressed up as a cop and Slater was dressed up as a lizard, like they both were in the previous episode when you killed Slater's pet lizard? Remember when you thought Mr. Belding was going to arrest Zack and Mr. Rogers? Remember when instead of arresting Zack and Mr. Rogers, Belding handcuffed you to Mr. Rogers' bunkbed and then had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when Slater said "suck on my lizard dick, BITCH!!!" You really got screwed over that time!!!!