Archived January-March 2005 "Remember When" stories

28th March 2005 - 11:29:37 PM
12930 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where your Bayside class visited downtown LA to check out some different businesses as part of a 'Career Day'? Remember when they used the 'buddy system' and paired you up with Zack and Slater? Remember when you walked past the downtown library and saw all of the bums and made fun of them to Zack and Slater? Remember when Slater said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when you got scared and started crying? Remember when Slater kicked you in the back and told you to go away? Remember when you ran to the back side of the library with your skinny little arms flailing in the wind? Remember when you walked past a row of dumpsters behind the library? Remember when you were sobbing loudly and got scared when you thought you heard something moving in one of the dumpsters? Remember when you went in for a closer look? Remember when you looking in one of the dumpsters and saw two smelly and diseased bums pulling a train with actor Andy Dick? Remember when this sight turned you on, so you pulled out your penis and started masturbating? Remember when someone put a hand on your shoulder and you felt uneasy? Remember when you said "excuse me, sir?" Remember when the man smashed your face into the edge of the dumpster and you fell over? Remember when you looked up and realized that a smelly bum had done this? Remember when the bum whistled and the lids on two of the dumpsters were flung open, revealing many naked men in the middle of a homosexual orgy? Remember when you recognized Mr. Belding and Zack's dad as two of the men participating in the gay orgy with some bums? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over to you and you though he would be your savior? Remember when he bent over and you thought he was going to help you up? Remember when instead of helping you, he sat on your face, draped his nuts on your face for a heavy pair of Arabian goggles, and unleashed a torrent of diarrhea into your mouth? Remember when Belding got up and one of the bums kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack's dad walked over and said "let me clean you up" as he whipped out his penis and pissed in your mouth? Remember when Belding whipped out his middle-aged cock and pissed on your head? Remember when one of the bums unleashed an HIV+ shit on your chest and another bum picked up the shit and shoved it in your mouth? Remember when a second bum cleaned his dirty asshole with your poofy and urine-soaked afro? Remember when Belding, Zack's dad, and the bums finally finished with you and then walked off, leaving you for dead? Remember when you heard some uncontrollable laughter and saw Zack and Slater walking toward you with a video camera? Remember when you said "why didn't you guys help me?" Remember when they said "shut up FAGGOT!!! We're going to sell video of this on the Internet!!!" Remember when you said you were going to tell the police? Remember when Slater said "if you do that, we'll post these pictures on the Internet" as they showed you two pictures, one of which showed you tossing Mr. Belding's salad, and the other of which showed Zack and Slater pulling a train with Mrs. Powers? Remember when Zack and Slater did sell the tape on the Internet, but they registered their business in your name? Remember when the police thought you were selling the videotape and sent you to jail for distributing child pornography? You sure got screwed over that time!!

23rd March 2005 - 10:02:11 PM
12865 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Mr. Belding wore a new suit to Bayside? Remember how cool he thought he looked in it? Remember when he strutted down the hallway? Remember how he wasn't wearing underwear at the time and his middle-aged package was shifting from side-to-side as he strutted? Remember how you were fixated on his crotch? Remember when the queer student whose nickname was 'lovethenut' (because he loved gobbling down nut butter of the athletes on the wrestling team after their workouts) tried to grab Mr. Belding's wrinkled ass? Remember when you pushed that fruit out of the way so you could get a better look at Belding's mid-section?
Remember when your eyes got really big as you stared at Mr. Belding's package? Remember when Slater saw this and got pissed? Remember when he charged at you and knocked you over with a 'clothes-line'? Remember when he dropped trow, grabbed your 'fro and used your gonzo nose to clean his ass? Remember when you started crying? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and whipped out his middle-aged cock? Remember how his pubes were grey and his nut sack was wrinkled? Remember when he said he would wash away your worries as he began giving you a golden shower? Remember when instead of washing away your worries, you contracted herpes on your eye from his diseased urine? The Bayside gang really screwed you over that time!

20th March 2005 - 09:31:56 PM
12811 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding's brother Rod was a substitute teacher at Bayside? Remember how he dressed like a burnout with long blonde hair, which resembled singer Michael's Bolton's 'do of the early 90s? Remember how everyone though he was a really hip dude, way cooler than his straight-laced principal brother? Remember when Mr. Belding introduced Rod to the class? Remember when, being the retarded queer that you are, you said "Two Belding's in one building, one of whom is balding!" Remember when you also said you were shocked that Rod was Principal Belding's brother because he had much more hair? Remember when you then remarked that Principal Belding had a much bigger forehead than Rod? Remember how incensed Mr. Belding became? Remember when his face turned bright red and he walked out in a huff? Remember when class ended and you walked over to the locker room to get ready for gym class? Rememeber when you opened the door and Mr. Belding jumped out from behind the door? Remember when he said "I'm gonna get you, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he slugged you in the gut with a field hockey stick, breaking two of your ribs, and knocking you down on the floor? Remember when Slater came running at you and kicking you in the head, knocking out your front teeth? Remember how he was dressed as his pet lizard, Artie, which he would frequently dress as because he derived great homosexual pleasure by dressing up as animals? Remember when Zack came crashing throught the door and you thought he was going to save you? Remember when instead of saving you, he kicked you in the head, dropped trow and pissed on your face? Remember when Mr. Belding yanked off your pants and said "you've been a bad boy. Now you're gonna pay!!!" Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you while Slater unleashed an HIV+ pile of shit on your head? Remember when Rod walked in and said "Richard, cut it out! I want to get some!" Remember when Rod dropped trow and teabagged you while Zack continued washing away your tears with a golden shower? Remember when you contracted 'the clap' and AIDS from this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Beldings really got you good that time!

Thumbs up to Rocco and Dner for their recent 'remember when' stories.

16th March 2005 - 01:11:36 AM
12759 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss where you were first given the nickname 'Screech'? Remember how it all started in gym class one day where you were changing at the end of class? Remember when you really had to go to the bathroom, so you went to the bathroom stall and dropped a huge load of crap? Remember how this took several minutes, and by the time you had wiped and were done, you were the only one left in the locker room? Remember when somebody suddenly switched off the lights and you fumbled around in the dark? Remember when you heard footsteps and what sounded like a mop being pushed around on the floor? Remember when the lights came back on and you were startled to see Mr. Belding and Milo, the black janitor, right in front of you? Remember how relieved you were to see these guys? Remember how the relief quickly changed to terror when Milo struck you in the face with the end of the mop? Remember when you fell over and bled on the floor? Remember when Belding yanked off your shorts and Mikey, your Italian mullet-headed classmate, jumped out from behind a locker and you saw that he was naked? Remember when oil from his greasy Italian hair kept dripping all over the place? Remember when Mikey kicked you in the back and then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pulled out and blew his wad in your curly afro? Remember when Belding and Milo did the same? Remember when you started screaming in pain and Mikey pulled out a cassette recorder and recorded your screams so he could jerk off to them later? Remember when he played it over the Intercom one day and everyone heard you screeching in pain from the unprotected buttsex? Remember when from that day forward, everyone started calling you 'Screech' and would tell you that you were a huge faggot? You really got screwed over that time!

15th March 2005 - 01:57:21 AM
12746 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where the air conditioning at Bayside broke and the school got really hot? Remember when you were sweating profusely and the huge pubic afro on your head started dripping sweat all over the place? Remember when you complained to Mr. Tuttle that you were too hot, and he told you to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!" Remember when you were very frightened by Mr. Tuttle's outburst and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when everyone in class started laughing at you and you sprinted out of the classroom with your boney little arms flailing every which way like a huge queer? Remember when you ran to Mr. Belding's office and he said he'd cool you down? Remember when he pointed at your shirt and asked "what's that?" Remember when you looked down and Belding hit you square in the jaw, knocking you out? Remember when you came too and discovered that you were completely naked, your hands and legs were duct taped, and Slater was buttslamming you against your will? Remember when Slater pulled out and unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your mouth? Remember when Belding asked if that helped cool you off and you started crying? Remember when Belding said "I'll give you something to cry about" as he and Slater picked you up and fired you into a port-a-potty by the football field? Remember when they managed to stuff your tiny body into the blue water below the toilet seat? Remember when Slater took a shit on you while Belding pissed on your 'fro? Remember when you were stuck in there with rancid feces and urine for 2 weeks, until the next home football game? That's what you get for bitching about being too hot! You sure had egg on your face that time!

09th March 2005 - 12:56:41 AM
12670 : Ox
Screech, do you remember that episode where everyone in Mr. Tuttle's Social Studies class had to dress up in an ethnic costume? Remember how confused you were and you didn't know what to dress up as? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office to ask for his advice? Remember how embarassed he was when you opened the door to his office becasue he had just ripped a nasty fart. Remember when he told you he'd eaten burritoes for lunch and had been running to the bathroom every 10 minutes? Remember when you asked what you should dress as for Tuttle's social studies class? Remember when he suggested you go as an Indian? Remember when he suggested one of those slik shirts that Indians wear? Remember when you thanked him and got up to leave his office? Remember when he said "but Screech, you still need one of those dots for your forehead?" Remember how happy you were when he said he could give the dot? Remember how much less happy you were 3 minutes later when Mr. Belding threw you on the ground, gave you a sweaty pair of Arabian goggles, and his asshole left a dark 'shit dot' on your forehead? Remember when iy took a full three weeks for Belding's feces to finally fade from your head? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

04th March 2005 - 01:54:57 AM
12605 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Zack had a crush on the hot brunette nurse? Remember how nervous Zack got around her and how he really wanted to ask her out? Remember how Salter competed with Zack to get her? Remember when you were sent to the nurse's office because the herpes Zack's dad had given you had flared up? Remember when you walked into nurse's office and saw Zack and Slater pulling a train with the nurse? Remember how horny you were and when Zack asked if you want some 'train action' yourself? Remember when you eagerly replied 'yes?' Remember when you dropped trow and pulled out your tiny penis? Remember when everyone laughed because you were hung like a three-month-old? Remember when you walked over to Zack and Slater and startled when Mr. Belding jumped out from behind a curtain? Remember when you asked why he was there and he said he also wanted some 'train action?' Remember when you told him he'd have to wait his turn because the nurse only had 3 holes? Remember when Mr. Belding said 'who cares about her? You've got 2 tight holes and that's all that Mr. Tuttle and I need, bitbh!" Remember when Mr. Tuttle jumped out of the closet and broke a yardstick over your head, knocking you out? Remember when you struggled to breath as you came to and realized that Mr. Belding was teabagging you while Mr. Tuttle pounded you from behind? Remember when Mr. Tuttle transmitted HIV to you during this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

01st March 2005 - 12:28:56 AM
12544 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you were taking playing baseball at Bayside during gym class? Remember how Mr. Belding was the substitute gym teacher that day? Remember when you were at bat and Slater was on deck? Remember when Mr. Belding was the pitcher? Remember when you stood in the batter's box and got ready to hit? Remember when Mr. Belding threw an inside fastball and drilled you in the nuts? Remember when you doubled over in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding ran over and asked if your ass was bleeding? Remember when you said "no, just my nuts?" Remember when Mr. Belding said "well, your ass is going to be bleeding soon?" Remember when you had no idea what he was taking about? Remember when Slater dropped trow, rolled over your mangled body and teabagged you as you cried out in obvious pain? Remember when Zack pissed on your hairless chest as Slater unleashed a brown torrent of diarrhea all over your head? Remember when Mr. Belding said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here???" as he tore off your underoos and bounced you up and down on his cock as if it was a jack hammer? Remember when he pulled out and squirted his load in your eye? Remember when he and Slater enjoyed their bliss for about 15 seconds until they picked up your mangled body and fired it into a dumpster. Slater still wistfully reminisces about that episode? You really got screwed over?

25th February 2005 - 06:04:30 PM
12504 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you, Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding all watched "The Karate Kid" over at Mr. Tuttle's house after school one day? Remember how much you liked the movie because Daniel LaRusso, the star, was a nerdy kid like you? Remember how LaRusso got beat up all the time until he met Mr. Miyagi, a Japanese immigrant who taught him to defend himself with karate? Remember how he taught Daniel karate in unusal ways by making him paint his fence, wax his car, etc.? Remember how you wished you knew karate so that you'd be able to fight off all of the males bullies in your gym class who used to have unprotected buttsex with you (against your will) in the bathroom stall before class? Remember how after school a few days later you were walking home from Bayside when you bumped into a middle-aged Japanese man? Remember when you asked him if he knew karate, and he said that he did? Remember when you asked him if he would teach you the art, and he said he would if you did some chores for him? Remember when you said you understood and had seen all the unusual exercises Danny did in the movie and would do whatever he asked? Remember when he took you into an abandoned shed behind the local gas station, dropped trow, and told you to suck him off? Remember when he said that this exercise would teach you concentration, which is crucial in a fight? Remember when you continued to do this for the next two months until you finally realized that he was just a diseased Japanese bum who didn't even know karate? Remember when he gave you gonorrhea? You really got screwed over that time!

21st February 2005 - 10:48:53 PM
12443 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you and the Bayside gang reported to the gym for flu shots? Remember how a couple of old nurses from a local clinic showed up to administer the shots? Remember when you got in line behind Zack and Slater? Remember when you got more and more scared as you waited your turn in line? Remember when you had a panic attack and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Mr. Belding pulled you aside and took you into the gym teacher's office to catch your breath? Remember when you finally got your breathing under control and told Mr. Belding that you were ready for your flu shot? Remember when Mr. Belding said that the nurses had already left because they'd run out of shots? Remember how disappointed you became until Mr. Belding told you that he'd managed to save a shot for you? Remember when he asked if you were ready and you enthusiastically replied "yes!"??? Remember when Mr. Belding said "ok, here it is" as he stood up and dropped trow? Remember how confused you were, but Mr. Belding assured you that this was the proper way to dispense the vaccine? Remember how you stupidly believed him? Remember when he buttslammed you for the next 10 minutes while "administering the medicine" as he so eloquently put it? Remember when he finally finished and you limped back to class in obvious pain? Remember when you thought to yourself "man that was painful, but at least I'm vaccintated against the flu?" Remember how instead of getting the flu that winter, instead you contracted herpes from Mr. Belding? Remember when you found out that the herpres had cut short your life expectancy by about 15 years? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

10th February 2005 - 12:22:58 AM
12296 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding butt-slammed you for the first time? Remember how he did this against your will and repeated this every single day for your last two years at Bayside? Remember how after a while you learned to enjoy the anal pounding and grew quite fond of Mr. Belding? Remember how Mr. Belding was always the pitcher and he would make you suck him off also? Remember when you asked if you could do him an the butt with your hairless genitals, and he bluntly refused? Remember when he said he had hemmoroids that would painfully flair up if you pounded him? Remember how you naively believed his b.s. story? Remember when during your last sememster at Bayside you noticed that his ass smelled like baked tortillas while you tossed his salad? Remember when you didn't think anything of it until that time after school when you walked into his office and saw Slater giving Mr. Belding a thorough butt-slamming? Remember when you started crying and asked Mr. Belding how he could do this to you? Remember when Belding called you a "stupid faggot" and then threw you on the ground, teabagged you until he blew his load on your chest? Remember when that made you feel a little bit better until Slater took a smelly Mexican shit in your mouth? Belding and Slater really screwed you over that time!

06th January 2005 - 12:25:50 AM
11870 : Ox
Screech, remember that one episode where Mr. Belding had unprotected buttsex with you for the 1,000th time and you told him you loved him? Remember when you asked if he was finally ready to be seen in public with you so that the whole world could see you two lovebirds? Remember when he told you he couldn't do that because he'd lose his job as a principal? Remember when you reluctantly told him you understood and asked him if you two could try something new? Rememner when he asked what you had in mind and you told him that you wanted to buttslam him for the first time ever? Remember when he said he couldn't do that because of his hemmoroids? Remember when he then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pounded you so hard that you walked with a limp the rest of the week? Remember when you walked into his office the next Monday to give your ass to him only to discover Slater pounding away at Belding's ass? Remember when you ran out of the room crying? Remember the next day when you saw them kissing in public and finally realized that Belding had been lying to you for years and was merely using you for gay sex, and nothing else? Remember you ran over to Zack's house bawling? Remember when Zack wasn't home, but his dad let you in and then buttslammed you against your will? Mr. Belding and Zack's dad really screwed you over that time!