Tuesday, December 28, 2004

"Mr. Belding Teaches Screech to Tap Dance" Episode Recap

28th December 2004 - 12:40:16 AM
11778 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you were acting in the school play? Remember when you had to tapdance in one of the scenes? Remember when Mr. Belding ran into you after school one day and asked why you were still at school? Remember when you told him that you were nervous about your tapdance routine and he told you he was an expert tapdancer back in his day and would give you a lesson? Remember when he asked you to come with him to his office for the lesson? Remember when he asked you to sit down in his chair while he put on his tapdance shoes? Remember how impressed you were when he tapdanced around his office for you? Remember when you asked him to teach you to tapdance like that? Remember when he told you to lay down naked on the floor for your lesson? Remember when you thought that his request was unusual, but complied anyway because he was your hero? Remember when he quickly duct taped your arms and legs to the floor before you could react? Remember when he said "here comes my next tapdance number, BITCH!!!" Remember when he started tapdancing on your hairless pre-pubescient beanbag for the next ten minutes until your sac was purple and swollen? Remember when Mr. Belding finally stopped and then walked out and said "see you later, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when Kelly walked by Mr. Belding office after he left and saw you taped to the floor? Remember when you thought that sweet Kelly would save you? Remember when you quickly realized that Kelly would not save you when she pulled down her pants and unloaded a huge Cleveland Steamer on your head? Mr. Belding and Kelly really screwed you over that time!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

"Mr. Belding Introduces Screech to 'Stomp'" Episode Recap

15th December 2004 - 01:20:15 AM
11662 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding asked you if you liked "stomp"? Remember when you said "yes" because you thought he was referring to "Stomp," the modern dance troupe that uses everyday objects in non-traditional ways as a dance routine? Remember when you eagerly replied "yes"? Remember when you showed up at Bayside that Friday evening and Belding took you into his office? Remember when he turned off the lights and you stumbled about? Remember when he punched you in the stomach and you fell over? Remember when he turned back on the lights and started jumped on your head and stomping on your neck? Remember when he said "now do you like 'stomp,' BITCH????" Remember when Mr. Belding then lit your pre-pubescent hairless balls on fire with the lighter he used to light his bong when he would smoke up at the school? Remember when you cried out in pain and were relieved when James 'the actor' showed up at Belding's office door? Remember when you thought that the pain was finally over? Remember when you realized that your evening of terror was just beginning when James 'the actor' and Mr. Belding pulled a train with you, took turns teabagging you, took tag-team dumps on you, and then dropped you off in the ghetto to fend for yourself? Mr. Belding really screwed you over that time!

Friday, December 10, 2004

"Screech Catches Gout" Episode Recap

10th December 2004 - 09:32:20 AM
11618 : Ox

Screech, remember when belding and slater used to beat you up after school and would humiliate you by making you drink their piss against your will? Remember how this went on for about four years, commencing on slater's first day, and ending after the graduation ceremony? Remember when you got the disease "gout" which is caused by piss drinking where uric acid forms crystals in the cartilage of your joints, which get painfully inflamed and swollen? Remember when you started having to walk with crutches every day for the rest of your life because of the pain? Belding and Slater really screwed you over that time!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

"Mr. Belding Reunites With Mr. Rogers" Episode Recap

08th December 2004 - 01:20:27 AM
11562 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from the New Class when Mr. Rogers from the College Years came to visit you at Bayside? Remember when he told you that Mr. Belding was his old frat buddy? Remember when Mr. Rogers walked into the gym and saw you and Mr. Belding? Remember when he ran toward you two and you thought he was going to give Mr. Belding a high-five? Remember when instead of giving Mr. Belding a high-five, he gave you a 'clothesline,' leveling you and knocking you to the floor? Remember when "Mr. Belding walked over and you thought he was going to help you up and scold Mr. Rogers? Remember when instead of helping you up, he gave you a 'leg drop' across your throat, one of his old wrestling moves? Remember when they both yanked off your clothes and pulled a train with you, with Mr. Rogers as the back and Mr. Belding as the front? Remember when they kept giving each other the secret fraternity handshake while they double-teamed you? Remember when they both pulled out at the same time and Mr. Rogers blew his load in your left eye while Mr. Belding blew his in your right eye? They got you good that time!

Friday, December 03, 2004

"Mr. Belding Gives Screech a Birthday Present" Episode Recap

03rd December 2004 - 09:40:04 AM
11475 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Mr. Belding saw you sitting down on the stairs in the hallway crying one day? Remember when he asked what was wrong and you said that you were upset that everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when he told you to come to his office and he'd give you a present you'd remember for the rest of your life? Remember when you walked into his office and he slugged you in the gut and you fell over in pain? Remember when he dropped his pants, took off his underwear, and rubbing his herpes-encrusted dirty underwear in your face? Rememeber how for the past 15 years you've been trying to get rid of the herpes Belding gave you that day? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

"Mr. Belding Teachs Screech How to Kiss - Part II" Episode Recap

01st December 2004 - 11:33:30 PM
11454 : Ox
[continuation of story from message 11423]

Screech, remember how excited you were after practicing kissing on Mr. Belding's blow-up doll and how much you were looking forward to your date with Lisa? Remember when you were about to leave Mr. Belding's office to return to class when Mr. Belding said "Screech, there's just one more thing - I think you should know that girls have really stinky breath." Remember how you found that surprising because you had never noticed your mother with really bad breath, but you just shrugged it off because Mr. Belding was your idol? Remember when you showed up at the Bayside gymnasium on Friday evening for your date? Remember how unusual you thought it was that Lisa wanted you to meet her at the gym for your date? Remember when you walked into the gym and discovered that it was pitch black because all of the lights were off? Remember when you heard Lisa call out, "Screech, I'm over here honey?" Remember when you fumbled until the made your way toward here until she called out and told you to stop? Remember when she grabbed your hand and said she wanted to kiss you, but that she wanted you to walk five feet to your left first? Remember when she told you to put your hands behind your back, often your mouth wide and stick out your tongue? Remember when you did and as you got close to here face you noticed that it smelled like ass? Remember when your tongue touched her lips and it felt really weird? Remember when it felt as though her mouth shit on you? Remember when the lights turned on and you discovered that Mr. Belding was standing facing away from you on a chair directly in front of you and you realized that you had just kissed his butthole and he had shit on you? Remember when you also saw Lisa, Jessie, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle and they were all busting up laughing at you? They really screwed you over that time!

"Mr. Belding Teachs Screech How to Kiss - Part I" Episode Recap

01st December 2004 - 01:50:56 AM
11423 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Lisa finally agree to go out with you? Remember how nervous you were because you had never kissed a girl before (or since)? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office and asked him for some kissing tips? Remember when he busted out a blowup doll and started kissing it on its lips? Remember when he handed the blowup doll to you and you started practicing kissing it? Remember how strange you thought it was that Mr. Belding had a blowup doll in his office, and you didn't know at the time what a blowup doll was used for? Remember when you noticed that the doll's mouth had a slightly salty taste, but you didn't think anything of it? Remember how, unbeknownst to you, Mr. Belding had been masturbating in his office five minutes before you walked in and had blown his load on the doll's mouth? Remember when you were kissing the doll and Mr. Belding dropped his pants and started cracking one off until he blew his middle-aged load on your Zubaz pants? Remember when you didn't even notice this because you were concentrating so hard on learning a kissing technique? Remember when you walked out of Belding's office totally oblivious to the fact that his pants were down at any time while you were in his office? Remember when you got 'the crabs' in your mouth due to what you had been licking? Remember when you had to take oral medication for the next 6 months to get rid of Belding's little present? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!