The "Dunkin' Donuts" episode

Screech, remember that episode when you walking into Mr. Belding’s office and he was scarfing down a baker’s dozen of “Dunkin’ Donuts” brand donuts? Remember how you enjoyed sweets and you started thinking about that times you would have ice cream and other sweets with your mom at the local ice cream shop? Remember how good and carefree these memories made you feel? Remember when you asked Belding if you could have a Dunkin’ Donut? Remember when he sucked the custard out of the 13th donut right after you asked your question? Remember when he said “sorry little buddy. I’m fresh out.” Remember how dejected you were? Remember when Belding said “wait a minute Screech. Although I’m out of Dunkin’ Donuts, I still have some ‘Dunkin’ Nuts’ you might like.” Remember when your frown quickly turned into a huge smile because you assumed that “Dunkin’ Nuts” must be some kind of new peanut-filled pastry you’d never heard of? Remember when Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue and brace yourself for the “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when you closed your eyes and heard Belding open the closet door? Remember when you figured he was bringing you a box of tasty “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when instead of pulling out a box of pastries, he pulled out a huge mechanic’s wrench and smacked you across the chest with it, knocking you three feet backwards? Remember when he dropped his pants pulled out his middle-aged schlong and nuts and said “say hello to my little friend! Here come the ‘Dunkin Nuts’ motherfucka!!” and then teabagged you completely against your will while you screamed out in pain for help that never arrived?? You sure learned to stop eating so many pastries that time!

The "Krazy Glue" episode recap

Screech, remember when you were a senior at Bayside and asked Mr. Tuttle for a hall pass so that you could go to the bathroom? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and were surprised to run into Slater and Mr. Belding, both of whom were walking out when you walked in? Remember when you walked into the first stall, dropped your Zubaz and sat down on the seat to take a huge dump? Remember when the seat felt a bit wet and you immediately became concerned that maybe you had just sat down in someone’s piss? Remember when you decided to get up and wipe off the seat? Remember when you tried to stand up but couldn’t because your legs and ass were stuck to the seat? Remember when Slater and Belding walked into the bathroom and Belding said “Hey FAGGOT, what do you think of the Krazy glue Slater and I rubbed all over the toilet seat? That glue isn’t coming off your ass anytime soon, DIPSHIT!!!” Remember when you started crying? Remember when Slater kicked open the stall door, dropped trow, and then bent over and sprayed diarrhea all over your face, jew-fro, shirt, and crotch? Remember when Slater moved away and then Belding walked over and said, “you smell like shit! You sure could use a nice warm shower!” and then dropped his pants and then took a piss on your face and crotch? Remember when your fellow nerds from the chess team walked in the bathroom and fired several wooden chess boards and chess pieces at your face, resulting in several bruises and cuts, causing you to start bleeding in several places on your face? Remember when Tuttle walked in and said, “Screech, now that you have an open wound, I think you’re ready for my HIV juice!” Remember when Tuttle started jerking off and shot his HIV+ seed onto your bleeding cuts, causing the HIV virus to enter into your bloodstream? Remember when Belding and Slater returned with several dodgeballs they had taken from the gym and started whipping them right at your face and tiny cock? Remember when you tried to block them, but they were coming too fast? Remember when Slater hit you in your gonzo nose so hard that your nose shattered and your head snapped back into the bathroom wall and you hit the back of your head on the bathroom wall and lost consciousness? Remember when Mr. Belding unscrewed the toilet seat and picked up your and the toilet seat glued to your ass and dumped your unconscious body into the dumpster behind the school? Remember when the crazy bum who lived in that dumpster was awoken when you landed on his head? Remember when he was so horny that he raped you? Remember when Belding called Mrs. Powers and said that you had a panic attack and had glued yourself to the toilet seat and then jumped into the dumpster yourself, cutting yourself in the process? Remember when she believed him? Remember when she had you committed to a psychiatric hospital for the next year to cure your craziness? Remember when she found out that you were HIV+? Remember when she called you a “no good faggot” and disowned you? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!