Tuesday, April 22, 2008

"Screech Tries Internet Dating" episode recap

Screech, remember that special Saved By The Bell episode from a couple years ago when you were getting really horny for some action? Remember how you decided that you were ready for your first heterosexual encounter of your life, after having experienced thousands of homosexual experiences, all of which were against your own free will? Remember how you signed up for match.com and emailed hundreds of women on that website? Remember how your primary profile picture was the one in Steinberg's avatar? Remember how nobody replied to your emails after they saw how ugly you looked? Remember how sad that made you feel? Remember when you rubbed one out to take your mind off things? Remember when you checked your email later that day and say an email from a woman who was using the login "chuckybutt_69"? Remember how that login made you laugh, as you assumed it must be a joke? Remember how the woman mentioned that you looked really sexy and that you must have gotten tons of action when you were in high school? Remember when you pitched a tent in your Zubaz pants because you were so excited? Remember how the woman wanted to meet you? Remember when she suggested that you meet her at a Burger King bathroom? Remember how that seemed like an odd place to meet, but you simply assumed that she was a total slut who just wanted you for your good looks and would probably play with your zoinker in the bathroom? Remember when you went over to the Burger King later that day and dressed in your favorite Zubaz sport coat and Converse hi tops? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and saw the back of what appeared to be a woman? Remember when she asked you to lock the door and you quickly did so? Remember how turned on you were? Remember how less turned on you were seconds later when the "woman" turned around and you realized it was actually Belding wearing a wig and women's clothing? Remember how you were so shocked that you couldn't move? Remember when Belding threw a haymaker at you, connecting his chubby fist with your boney cheek, sending you flying toward the door? Remember when Belding kicked you in the balls and then stomped on your chest until a couple ribs cracked? Remember when Belding took off his dress and revealed his massive cock? Remember when Belding grabbed you by the jew-fro and pulled your head back while violently inserting his horse cock in your zoink hole? Remember when Belding started thrusting in and out of your butthole with his cock, giving him much pleasure and you much pain? Remember when you looked over and saw that walls of the stall were rumbling loudly? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle sitting on top of one of the stall partitions? Remember how he was straddling the partition with his legs? Remember how he wasn't wearing any pants and was vigorously masturbating? Remember when the huge steel bolts securing the stall partition to the wall snapped due to Tuttle’s massive weight and the stall partition collapsed to the floor and Tuttle came crashing down face first onto the floor? Remember how he landed on his arm, snapping the humerus bone in his right arm? Remember how he kept masturbating anyway, despite his broken arm? Remember how Belding's attack continued for several minutes and then Belding and Tuttle snuck out and went home? Remember when a bum found you 30 minutes later and pissed on you? You sure learned about Internet dating in that episode!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

"Saved By The Bell Hawaiian style" scene recap

Screech, remember that scene from Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style where you roomed with Kelly and Lisa at Kelly’s uncle’s hotel? Remember how AC Slater was going out with Jessie and those two love birds roomed together, and Zack was rooming with that girl that he met on the island? Remember how there was only one room left and you had to share it with Kelly and Lisa? Remember how excited you were when you discovered the rooming arrangements and you thought that you might be able to during on your charm and finally hook up with one of those girls? Remember when you got up to take a shower and sang that awful Bayside school song that you had written? Remember how you stuck your Suave brand shampoo bottle up your ass while taking your shower? Remember how good that felt? Remember when you finished your shower, got dressed, and then walked back over by the beds? Remember how you saw Lisa and Kelly dyking out on the bed? Remember how Lisa’s face was buried in Kelly’s crotch and she was eating out Kelly, who was moaning with pleasure? Remember when you said “Zoinks!” and dropped your towel and started jerking off with your small cock? Remember when you heard a slapping sound from the corner of the room and looked over and saw that Kelly’s grandfather was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room with his pants off and was tossing off? Remember when you looked behind the chair and saw that Chief Popakoo was standing up against the wall and was also masturbating vigorously? Remember when Kelly looked over and saw you watching her and said “get out of here, JEWISH FAGGOT PERVERT!!! Chief Popakoo and my grandpa paid me $20 apiece to watch my lesbo lovefest with Lisa, and you don’t get a free peepshow, you cocksucker!!!” Remember when the closet door swung open and Belding jumped out and smacked you in the face with some closet hangars? Remember when Belding kept whaling on your face and chest with the hangars? Remember when Chief Popakoo walked over and blew his load on your chest during Belding’s attack and then farted in your face? Remember how bad it smelled? Remember when the armour in the room started shaking and you looked over and the front doors broke off and a naked Mr. Tuttle rolled out onto the floor? Remember how his 54-inch waist pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how surprised you were to see Tuttle, because he didn’t even have an acting role in Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style? Remember when Belding and Kelly’s grandfather started spit-roasting you while Kelly and Lisa fingered themselves? Remember when Lisa, Kelly, Kelly’s grandfather, Belding, and Tuttle each had orgasms at the same time and then Chief Popakoo picked up and threw you out the third-story window into the dumpster down below? You sure had a shitty vacation that time!

Monday, March 31, 2008

"Lisa's Date With Screech" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode from the fourth season of Saved By The Bell when you asked out Lisa Turtle and she finally agreed to do so? Remember how that was the happiest day of your life and you were finally going to get your Nubian goddess? Remember when she told you that she was really horny for you and that she wanted you to pick her up at Friday night at her place because her parents were out of town? Remember how you ironed your best pair of Zubaz pants and rode your pink Schwinn bike over to Lisa Turtle’s house on that Friday evening? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Lisa answered the door in a nightgown? Remember when you saw her and exclaimed, “Zoinks!!!” Remember when Lisa said to walk upstairs and meet her in the bedroom for some playtime? Remember when you ran up the stairs and into her room? Remember how surprised you were when you walked through the doorway to her room and saw Kevin the Robot roll out of her closet? Remember how you had thrown Kevin the Robot in the garbage two years earlier after that episode when everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Kevin said that there were no hard feelings and that Lisa had fished him out of the county dump a year ago? Remember how relieved that made you feel? Remember when Lisa ran into her bedroom and started taking off your clothes? Remember how uncomfortable it made you that Lisa was doing this in front of Kevin the Robot? Remember when Lisa said to be quiet and no worry about it because Kevin was merely a robot? Remember when you were completely naked and Lisa saw your baby-sized zoinker? Remember how relieved you were when Lisa said that your penis was just right? Remember when Lisa said she wanted to get kinky and tie you up? Remember how excited that made you feel? Remember when she handcuffed each of your arms and legs to the bedposts and then started tickling you? Remember when she got naked and you saw her toned and dark body? Remember how incredibly turned on you were at this time? Remember how much less turned on you were seconds later when she put on a strap-on dildo and said she was going to fuck you with it? Remember when you asked her to stop and begged Kevin the Robot for help?

Remember when Kelly Kapowski walked out of Lisa’s closet at this moment and was naked? Remember how she had taco crumbs on her face and threw an empty bag of Taco Bell in the garbage can? Remember when you asked Kelly for help and she sat on your face? Remember when she farted right in your mouth and Lisa anally penetrated you with the strap-on dildo? Remember how Kelly took a shit in your face and wiped her ass clean with your jew fro while Lisa pounded away at your asshole with the dildo? Remember when Lisa got mad because your torn anus was bleeding onto her bed? Remember when you heard the gutters on Lisa’ roof violently shaking and looked out the window and saw a naked Mr. Tuttle dangling from the gutters, hanging to the gutters with one hand while masturbating vigorously with his other hand? Remember when the portion of the gutters from which Mr. Tuttle was dangling ripped from the roof and plummeted to the ground, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into Lisa’s room and said “Hey Hey Hey, what is going on here? “ Remember how Mr. Belding was naked and had a rock hard 12-inch cock? Remember when Belding told Lisa to stop fucking you with the dildo and then he inserted his enormous cock into your ass and pumped away for a couple minutes before filling you with HIV+ semen? Remember when they eventually let you go home to clean yourself up? Remember when you limped into your science class the following Monday and saw Kevin the Robot hooked up to the class’ VCR? Remember when Kevin started playing a tape of your anal violation that he had secretly taped at Lisa’s house? Lisa Turtle really got you good that time!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"AC Slater's Surprise Birthday Party" Episode Recap

12th March 2008 - 12:57:48 AM
87270 : Ox

Screech, remember that time when you offered to have a surprise birthday party for AC Slater at your house? Remember how the entire Bayside gang, include Belding, Tuttle, and Milo the janitor were invited? Remember how Belding was going to barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs in your backyard? Remember when Zack and Jessie showed up early at your place and put some birthday cakes, hamburgers, hot dogs, and soda in your refrigerator? Remember when everyone except Salter and Zack had shown up at your place? Remember how everyone hid in your family room, waiting for Slater to lead Zack into the party? Remember how Belding had eaten Taco bell for lunch and really needed to use the bathroom? Remember how Lisa Turtle was in the bathroom at the time changing her tampon? Remember when you told Belding to walk through your kitchen and then up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor? Remember when you saw Belding walk into the kitchen and then heard the refrigerator door open? Remember how odd that seemed to you, but you just assumed he wanted to eat a couple cupcakes or something while taking a dump? Remember how, unbeknownst to you at the time, Belding opened the vegetable crisper drawer in your refrigerator and took a massive shit in it? Remember how he filled the crisper halfway to the top and then wiped his ass clean with a couple broccoli stalks and a head of lettuce? Remember when he closed the crisper drawer and the refrigerator and returned to the family room where everyone was still hiding?

Remember when Slater and Zack arrived at your front door about a minute later and opened the door? Remember when everyone yelled out "Surprise!" Remember how happy everyone was? Remember how less happy everyone was 5 minutes later when Kelly opened the refrigerator door and saw that all of the food had gone bad, apparently as a result of coming into contact with the toxic fumes from Belding's shit? Remember how Belding pretended to be shocked that the food had gone bad and claimed that the damage was caused by you because you had placed an uncovered glass of orange juice in there in the morning and probably stupidly messed with the temperature control? Remember how mad everyone was at you by this time? Remember when Hound Dog started barking at you and bit you in the knee? Remember when Kevin the Robot utter, "BZZT, let's get him and teach him a lesson! BZZT!" Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and tried to run away? Remember when Milo the Janitor clotheslined you with his arm and said "Milo done come here by bus, and Milo's gone git some jew food Biatch!" Remember when Milo pulled down your Zubaz and stuck his mop handle (which he apparently brought with him) deep into your rectum and then yanked it out and had unprotected buttsex with your torn asshole? Remember when Slater picked up the kitchen table and smashed it on your torso, breaking several ribs and nearly crushing your torso? Remember how you were in immense pain and begged for mercy? Remember when Kelly Kapowski made fun of your tiny cock, stomped on your kneecaps and then dropped a deuce on your busted birdchest? Remember when you looked over and saw that your kitchen cabinets were wobbling? Remember when the cabinets cracked in half and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how he was coated in Cheerios from a box that had apparently been in the cabinets with him? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when Belding went into your garage to retrieve your bocce ball set? Remember when Belding started whipping the heavy bocce balls at your junk? Remember how he missed your cock, due to its tiny size? Remember when one of the bocce balls hit you in the face, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up hours later and your mom was screaming at you for destroying her kitchen? Remember when you she kicked you in the junk for being such a bad son? You really got screwed over that time!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

"Belding Teaches Screech About Love" episode recap

Screech, remember when you fell in love with Belding during your senior year at Bayside? Remember how you would take the early bus to school and service his penis and ass needs every morning in his office? Remember that time that you snuck away from the lunch cafeteria at lunchtime to tell Belding you were in love with him? Remember when you opened the door to his office and saw Zack Morris' father in there sucking him off? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Belding said that you were unable to fully satisfy him, but that you shouldn't worry because he was "Down with O.P.P. " like the rap song by Naughty By Nature that was popular at the time? Remember when Belding said that he was allowed to have sex with other men, but that if you tried to cheat on him, he would murder you because you were his jewish gay sex slave? Remember when Belding came in Zack's dad's mouth? Remember when you kept crying and said that you didn't want to share him with anyone else? Remember how mad that made Belding and he ran to his desk and picked up a large stapler and threw it at your face? Remember when it hit you in your large crooked nose, breaking your nose and causing blood to spurt out? Remember how scared you were? Remember when you noticed a halogen lamp in the corner of the office that was slightly shaking? Remember when you looked closer and saw Mr. Tuttle jerking off while completely naked? Remember how Tuttle had camouflage paint to blend in with the various furniture in the office? Remember when you begged for help, but neither Zack's dad nor Tuttle would help you? Remember when Belding threw a tape dispenser on you and you fell to the ground? Remember when Belding tipped over his desk, causing it to fall right on your chest, trapping you on the floor? Remember when you heard a rib snap? Remember when you cried out that you couldn't breathe? Remember when that seemed to egg on Belding even more and he jumped onto the side of the desk in an effort to crush your chest? Remember when you heard a crashing sound and looked over and saw A.C. Slater drive into the office in Mr. Tuttle's Driver's Ed car? Remember how you thought that Slater was going to rescue you from the horrific attack? Remember how you quickly discovered that Slater was not going to help you when he drove the Driver's Ed car onto your face and slammed on the gas to make the tires spin on your face? Remember all the skin that was ripped off your face while the steel-belted tires spun? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at you? Remember when you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when you woke up months later in the nearby hospital and began a painful recovery from a shattered skull and ribs?

Belding really taught you the meaning of love in that episode!

"Screech Learns the Meaning of Love" Episode Recap

20th February 2008 - 01:44:26 AM
86958 : Ox

Screech, remember when you fell in love with Belding during your senior year at Bayside? Remember how you would take the early bus to school and service his penis and ass needs every morning in his office? Remember that time that you snuck away from the lunch cafeteria at lunchtime to tell Belding you were in love with him? Remember when you opened the door to his office and saw Zack Morris' father in there sucking him off? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Belding said that you were unable to fully satisfy him, but that you shouldn't worry because he was "Down with O.P.P. " like the rap song by Naughty By Nature that was popular at the time? Remember when Belding said that he was allowed to have sex with other men, but that if you tried to cheat on him, he would murder you because you were his jewish gay sex slave? Remember when Belding came in Zack's dad's mouth? Remember when you kept crying and said that you didn't want to share him with anyone else? Remember how mad that made Belding and he ran to his desk and picked up a large stapler and threw it at your face? Remember when it hit you in your large crooked nose, breaking your nose and causing blood to spurt out? Remember how scared you were? Remember when you noticed a halogen lamp in the corner of the office that was slightly shaking? Remember when you looked closer and saw Mr. Tuttle jerking off while completely naked? Remember how Tuttle had camouflage paint to blend in with the various furniture in the office? Remember when you begged for help, but neither Zack's dad nor Tuttle would help you? Remember when Belding threw a tape dispenser on you and you fell to the ground? Remember when Belding tipped over his desk, causing it to fall right on your chest, trapping you on the floor? Remember when you heard a rib snap? Remember when you cried out that you couldn't breathe? Remember when that seemed to egg on Belding even more and he jumped onto the side of the desk in an effort to crush your chest? Remember when you heard a crashing sound and looked over and saw A.C. Slater drive into the office in Mr. Tuttle's Driver's Ed car? Remember how you thought that Slater was going to rescue you from the horrific attack? Remember how you quickly discovered that Slater was not going to help you when he drove the Driver's Ed car onto your face and slammed on the gas to make the tires spin on your face? Remember all the skin that was ripped off your face while the steel-belted tires spun? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at you? Remember when you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when you woke up months later in the nearby hospital and began a painful recovery from a shattered skull and ribs?

Belding really taught you the meaning of love in that episode!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

"Screech Learns How to Ski" Episode Recap

16th February 2008 - 04:05:56 PM
86913 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took you skiing? Remember how on the first day of skiing, Belding taught you how to ski on the bunny slopes and then you moved up to the intermediate slopes? Remember how nice Belding was being to you? Remember when Belding made love to you that evening and after filling your ass up with his cum, you embraced and fell asleep in bliss? Remember how Belding treated you to Taco Bell at the resort the next day for lunch? Remember when you ate 4 crunchy tacos and Belding ate 43 crunchy tacos, 15 taco supremes, and 7 orders of cinnamon twists? Remember how fatty taco grease was dripping down his face by the time he finished eating? Remember when Belding said it was time to take your skiing to the next level? Remember when he said it was time to ski on one of the advanced slopes? Remember when Belding took you to Mount Whitehead? Remember how Mount Whitehead was 2000 feet tall and had a couple cliffs? Remember how you were scared when you got off the ski lift and were at the top of the Mountain with Belding? Remember when you cried "Zoinks!" to express your fear? Remember when Belding told you to shut your yapper and that everything would be fine and that he would ski down first to show you it was safe? Remember when Belding skied like a rocket down the mountain, leaving a trail of flying snow in his wake? Remember when he got down to the bottom and yelled for you to go, but you hesitated because you were scared? Remember when Belding got mad and then dropped his pants for some reason? Remember how you thought it was funny that he was mooning you? Remember how much less funny you thought it was seconds later when you heard a rumbling sound and then Belding dropped ass? Remember how a massive brown cloud was unleashed from his asshole and it quickly enveloped the entire mountain? Remember when the snow turned brown and started melting? Remember when the snow at the top melted and the runoff quickly started zooming down the mountain and washed into a nearby lake? Remember how the water was so contaminated by the heavy metals and other toxins that were in Belding's fart that the geological area around the nearby lake was rendered uninhabitable for the next 50 years? Remember when the snow beneath your feet melted and you started tumbling down the mountain, smacking into rocks on the way down? Remember when you broke several ribs and shattered your pelvis on the way down? Remember when you finally reached the bottom and Belding was laughing really hard? Remember when you tried to yell "Zoinks!" but were unable to do so because the wind had been knocked out of you? Remember when Belding asked you if you had a nice trip? Remember when you started crying and Belding said he'd give you something to cry about as he started jagging you in the ass with his ski poles and then viciously raped you? Remember when you heard a "whoosh" sound and looked over and saw a large igloo zooming down the mountain? Remember how it was floating on top of the water from the melted snow? Remember when you saw Mr. Tuttle on top of the igloo with his pants rolled down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when the igloo reached the bottom and smacked right into a large tree at a speed of about 40 MPH? Remember when a tree branch pierced through Mr. Tuttle's chest and he started bleeding profusely? Remember how he kept masturbating instead of seeking immediately life-saving help? Remember when Tuttle ejaculated onto the side of the tree and then passed out and went into cardiac arrest? Remember when Belding blew a massive load up your ass and then got off you and walked over to the ski lodge? Remember when he blamed you for contaminating the lake and you were hit with a $10,000 fine from the EPA? You really learned about skiing in that episode!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"Screech learns about the ocean" recap

Screech, remember that episode where you were walking along the beach holding hands with Mr. Belding after having serviced his penis and ass needs? Remember when Belding found a big shell on the ground and said that he could hear the ocean when he put it up to his ear? Remember when he threw it into the ocean and it broke into pieces? Remember when you started crying because you wanted to hear the ocean in the shell? Remember when you couldn't find another shell and kept crying like a little baby? Remember when Belding held you tightly and said everything would be ok and that he had an idea? Remember when he said that if you put your ear up against his asshole, you would be able to hear the ocean? Remember when you foolishly believed him? Remember when he pulled down his pants and you got in close? Remember when you couldn't hear anything and Belding said that was because you were too far away? Remember when you got about half an inch from Belding's asshole and hear a rumbling sound that didn't sound anything like the ocean? Remember when a split second later a diarrhea tsunami exploded out of Belding's ass and the force knocked you over? Remember how his fecal matter reached deep into your ear canal? Remember how Belding had eaten a large bag of peanuts the night before and his body had extreme difficulty digesting the peanuts? Remember when some undigested peanuts were in Belding's diarrhea and had sharp edges that pierced your eardrum causing permanent hear loss? Remember when blood started dripping out of your ear and Belding started laughing, calling you a "Stupid Faggot Jew Bastard!"? Remember when Belding started kicking you in the head and then yanked off your Zubaz swim trunks and started raping you and you cried for help? Remember when you looked over and saw a sand dune about 25 feet away that appeared to be shaking, as if an earthquake were occurring at that time? Remember when you saw Mr. Tuttle roll out of the sand dune? Remember how he was covered in sand and his pants were off and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when coughed and a cloud of sand emerged from his lungs, because he had apparently been hiding in the sand dune for some time waiting to jerk off to your eventual rape? Remember when Belding kept pounding away at your now torn asshole and then blew his massive STD-ridden load up your ass? Remember when Belding rested for a second and then began stomping on your head until you lost consciousness? Remember when you regained consciousness 2 hours later when a seagull went to the bathroom on your jew fro? You sure learned about the ocean that time!

Friday, February 08, 2008

"Screech Learns About Cars" Episode Recap

08th February 2008 - 12:42:04 AM
86786 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode of Saved by The Bell: The New Class where you purchased your 1979 Gremlin automobile? Remember how rusty it was and was missing the back bumper? Remember how everyone would laugh you for driving such an old shitty car, but you didn’t care because it was your first set of wheels? Remember when you told Mr. Belding about your car and asked him to go for a ride? Remember how Belding had to put the passenger seat as far back as it would go to accommodate his ample frame? Remember when Belding asked if he could drive? Remember when you said it was ok and let him drive? Remember when Belding got behind the wheel and put on his seat belt and you did the same? Remember when Belding asked why you were wearing a seatbelt and told you that it was much more fun for passengers to not wear those constrictive seat belts? Remember how you heeded Belding’s advice because he was you hero? Remember when Belding slammed on the gas and started zooming down the street? Remember when Belding intentionally accelerated toward a large oak tree? Remember how sadistically Belding was laughing and said, “Get some, Screech!!! Get some of this, BITCH!!!!” Remember when Belding hit about 50 MPH when he smashed into the oak tree with the front end of the car directly in front of you? Remember when you were ejected from the Gremlin and smashed through the windshield, breaking your shoulder and spine on the way out? Remember how your body was a crumpled mess at this time and you tried to ask Belding for help, but couldn’t because you had a punctured lung? Remember when Belding dropped his pants and ripped a disgusting wet fart right in your face? Remember how bad it smelled, but you couldn’t move? Remember when Milo the janitor came running down the street with his mop and smacked you in the face and started stomping on your gonzo nose? Remember when Milo started sodomizing you with his mop handle? Remember when A.C. Slater appeared out of nowhere and yanked off your Zubaz and started raping you? Remember how odd it was because Slater wasn’t even on the New Class? Remember when he said that Pacific Blue was filming nearby and he heard the crash and got really horny when he saw you on the ground in pain? Remember when the branches on the tree started shaking and you looked up and saw several branches snap in half as Mr. Tuttle came crashing down from 25 feet up in the air and then smashed down onto the roof of your Gremlin, flattening the car like a pancake? Remember how Tuttle’s pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when he fired his cum into your jewfro and then passed out from massive blood loss? Remember when Belding grabbed your cum-drenched jewfro and then started throat fucking you? Remember how much that hurt because your neck was already broken? Remember when Belding blew a massive load in your mouth and then started hitting you with the branches that came down when Tuttle fell? Remember when he nearly poked your eye out and then everyone got up and left you for dead in a pool of blood and cum? Remember when you passed out and went into a coma for several weeks? Remember when Belding came to visit you in the hospital and ripped one right in your face and you came out of the coma? Remember when you looked over and saw that Tuttle was jerking off into your IV bag?

You sure learned about cars in that episode!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

"Screech Learns About Plumbing" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding was embezzling money from Bayside to support his addiction to gay porn? Remember how Belding was stealing so much money that Bayside was being run on a shoestring budget? Remember when Mr. Tuttle ate a massive chicken, and several cobs of corn at lunch? Remember how Tuttle didn’t even chew all of the chicken and actually swallowed several bones? Remember when a couple hours later Tuttle suddenly had to take a massive shit? Remember when he ran to the Bayside bathroom and unleashed a massive shit log? Remember how one could see the chicken bones and undigested corn in Tuttle’s floater? Remember when Tuttle flushed the toilet and his massive shit load disappeared down the toilet pipe? Remember when the toilet suddenly started overflowing because Tuttle’s crap got stuck in a curve in the pipe? Remember when Milo the janitor tried to unclog the jam with a plunger but couldn’t pry it loose? Remember when Milo started to take apart the toilet, moving the porcelain part and leaving just a hole to a pipe in the ground? Remember when Milo said that the school would need to purchase a new cast iron section of pipe to replace the one with the clog? Remember how Belding knew that if he had to write a check for the expensive pipe, someone would be bound to notice the money he was skimming? Remember how Belding couldn’t let that happen and called you down to the bathroom to help? Remember how you assumed he was going to ask you for some advice on how to dislodge the feces based on your vast knowledge of the mathematical angles and curves that you learned in your Geometry class? Remember when Belding asked you to kneel down for a closer look? Remember when Belding and Mil suddenly grabbed your legs and forcefully shoved you face-first into the toilet pipe? Remember when they shoved your torso back and forth into the pipe as the brillo-like properties of your jew-fro knocked loose chunks of chit that were stuck to the sides of the pipe? Remember how you started to drown as your lungs began filling up with toilet water? Remember how you started to suffocate? Remember how they shoved your further into the pipe and you smacked head-first into something rock-hard? Remember how that was Tuttle’s massive turd?

Remember when they shoved your body down further and it dislodged the shit? Remember how you assumed that Belding and Milo would quickly pull you out so that you could breathe and expel the toilet water from your lungs? Remember when Belding and Milo grabbed your Zubaz and tore them off as you struggled to pull yourself out of the toilet pipe? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your butthole experienced painful anal stretching as Belding shoved his massive unlubed cock up your ass and started pounding away? Remember how while this was happening you felt intense burning pain on your zoinker? Remember when you later found out that Milo was lighting up cigars and putting them out on your tiny cock to celebrate the fixed toilet? Remember when Belding finally pulled out several minutes later and then went with Milo to his office to jerk off onto their yearbook photos of Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how they left you to fend for yourself and called the police? Remember when a police officer arrived at Bayside and Belding told the officer that you broke the toilet and then stuck your head in the pipe, causing thousands of dollars in damage? Remember when the policeman yanked your unconscious body out of the pipe and gave you a ticket? Remember when you woke up in the hospital months later and discovered that you had lost 35% of your intellectual capacity when you nearly drowned and stopped breathing? Remember when Bayside sued you for $2000 for damage to the bathroom?

You sure learned about plumbing that time!

Monday, February 04, 2008

"Screech Learns About Plumbing" Episode Recap

04th February 2008 - 08:43:27 PM
86736 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding was embezzling money from Bayside to support his addiction to gay porn? Remember how Belding was stealing so much money that Bayside was being run on a shoestring budget? Remember when Mr. Tuttle ate a massive chicken, and several cobs of corn at lunch? Remember how Tuttle didn't even chew all of the chicken and actually swallowed several bones? Remember when a couple hours later Tuttle suddenly had to take a massive shit? Remember when he ran to the Bayside bathroom and unleashed a massive shit log? Remember how one could see the chicken bones and undigested corn in Tuttle's floater? Remember when Tuttle flushed the toilet and his massive shit load disappeared down the toilet pipe? Remember when the toilet suddenly started overflowing because Tuttle's crap got stuck in a curve in the pipe? Remember when Milo the janitor tried to unclog the jam with a plunger but couldn't pry it loose? Remember when Milo started to take apart the toilet, moving the porcelain part and leaving just a hole to a pipe in the ground? Remember when Milo said that the school would need to purchase a new cast iron section of pipe to replace the one with the clog? Remember how Belding knew that if he had to write a check for the expensive pipe, someone would be bound to notice the money he was skimming? Remember how Belding couldn't let that happen and called you down to the bathroom to help? Remember how you assumed he was going to ask you for some advice on how to dislodge the feces based on your vast knowledge of the mathematical angles and curves that you learned in your Geometry class? Remember when Belding asked you to kneel down for a closer look? Remember when Belding and Milo suddenly grabbed your legs and forcefully shoved you face-first into the toilet pipe? Remember when they shoved your torso back and forth into the pipe as the brillo-like properties of your jew-fro knocked loose chunks of chit that were stuck to the sides of the pipe? Remember how you started to drown as your lungs began filling up with toilet water? Remember how you started to suffocate? Remember how they shoved your further into the pipe and you smacked head-first into something rock-hard? Remember how that was Tuttle's massive turd?

Remember when they shoved your body down further and it dislodged the shit? Remember how you assumed that Belding and Milo would quickly pull you out so that you could breathe and expel the toilet water from your lungs? Remember when Belding and Milo grabbed your Zubaz and tore them off as you struggled to pull yourself out of the toilet pipe? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your butthole experienced painful anal stretching as Belding shoved his massive unlubed cock up your ass and started pounding away? Remember how while this was happening you felt intense burning pain on your zoinker? Remember when you later found out that Milo was lighting up cigars and putting them out on your tiny cock to celebrate the fixed toilet? Remember when Belding finally pulled out several minutes later and then went with Milo to his office to jerk off onto their yearbook photos of Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how they left you to fend for yourself and called the police? Remember when a police officer arrived at Bayside and Belding told the officer that you broke the toilet and then stuck your head in the pipe, causing thousands of dollars in damage? Remember when the policeman yanked your unconscious body out of the pipe and gave you a ticket? Remember when you woke up in the hospital months later and discovered that you had lost 35% of your intellectual capacity when you nearly drowned and stopped breathing? Remember when Bayside sued you for $2000 for damage to the bathroom?

You sure learned about plumbing that time!

Friday, January 25, 2008

"Screech Learns Not to Mess with Belding's Food" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where you were Belding’s assistant and you walked into his office while he was eating little Vienna sausages? Remember how turned on you were getting while he sucked down each of those little sausages? Remember how you wished that your tiny cock were in his mouth receiving oral pleasure from Belding, your father figure in life? Remember how hungry Belding still looked after eating the last Vienna sausage? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spiderman underwear and said, “Chief, I have another Vienna sausage for you.” Remember when Belding said, “Come over here Screech, let me take a look at it.” Remember when Belding grabbed your tiny cock and said, “Screech, I think this Vienna sausage is undercooked. I’d better warm it up a bit so that I don’t get worms!” Remember when Belding grabbed your scrawny leg with his left hand and pulled out a blowtorch with his right hand and placed the blue flame that was burning at 400+ degrees Fahrenheit onto your puny cock? Remember when you started crying and yelled, “ZOINKS!!!!!” Remember when Belding uttered his trademark “Ha Ha Ha!” laugh? Remember how this pain went on for 60 seconds, until you lost all sensation in your groin and your cock had been burnt to a crisp? Remember how Maxwell Nerdstrom was walking past Belding’s office at the time and remarked that your cock was as dark as Milo, although much smaller and not quite as smelly? Remember when Belding said, “Oops, I think I overcooked the Vienna sausage! I don’t want it anymore. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!” Remember when you kept crying and Belding said he would really give you something to cry about as he started viciously ass-raping you? Remember how you were leaning against the school intercom while this was going on and the whole school heard you being anally violated? Remember when you heard a commotion outside of Belding’s office and thought that your classmates were coming to your rescue? Remember when you looked into the hallway and saw the male student body? Remember how everyone was jerking off while watching you? Remember how upset that made you? Remember when you looked away in shame and out of the window? Remember when you saw someone on the window washing scaffolding? Remember how the person was Mr. Tuttle and his pants were down around his ankles as he masturbated vigorously? Remember when your burnt cock fell off a couple days later? Remember how hard everyone laughed at you when they found out that you were now cock-less?

You sure learned not to mess around with Belding’s food in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Vienna Sausages" Episode Recap

25th January 2008 - 03:12:57 PM
86612 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were Belding's assistant and you walked into his office while he was eating little Vienna sausages? Remember how turned on you were getting while he sucked down each of those little sausages? Remember how you wished that your tiny cock were in his mouth receiving oral pleasure from Belding, your father figure in life? Remember how hungry Belding still looked after eating the last Vienna sausage? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spiderman underwear and said, "Chief, I have another Vienna sausage for you." Remember when Belding said, "Come over here Screech, let me take a look at it." Remember when Belding grabbed your tiny cock and said, "Screech, I think this Vienna sausage is undercooked. I'd better warm it up a bit so that I don't get worms!" Remember when Belding grabbed your scrawny leg with his left hand and pulled out a blowtorch with his right hand and placed the blue flame that was burning at 400+ degrees Fahrenheit onto your puny cock? Remember when you started crying and yelled, "ZOINKS!!!!!" Remember when Belding uttered his trademark "Ha Ha Ha!" laugh? Remember how this pain went on for 60 seconds, until you lost all sensation in your groin and your cock had been burnt to a crisp? Remember how Maxwell Nerdstrom was walking past Belding's office at the time and remarked that your cock was as dark as Milo, although much smaller and not quite as smelly? Remember when Belding said, "Oops, I think I overcooked the Vienna sausage! I don't want it anymore. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!" Remember when you kept crying and Belding said he would really give you something to cry about as he started viscously ass-raping you? Remember how you were leaning against the school intercom while this was going on and the whole school heard you being anally violated? Remember when you heard a commotion outside of Belding's office and thought that your classmates were coming to your rescue? Remember when you looked into the hallway and saw the male student body? Remember how everyone was jerking off while watching you? Remember how upset that made you? Remember when you looked away in shame and out of the window? Remember when you saw someone on the window washing scaffolding? Remember how the person was Mr. Tuttle and his pants were down around his ankles as he masturbated vigorously? Remember when your burnt cock fell off a couple days later? Remember how hard everyone laughed at you when they found out that you were now cock-less?

You sure learned not to mess around with Belding's food in that episode!

Monday, January 21, 2008

"Screech Learns About Gay Sex and Cars" Episode Recap

21st January 2008 - 10:58:59 PM
86535 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you snuck into Mr. Beldings office and started rooting through his stash of gay porn magazines while he was watching gay porn with Mr. Dewey in the teacher's lounge while eating lunch? Remember when you pulled out your tiny cock and started masturbating? Remember when Belding walked into his office and was initially very upset and started yelling at you? Remember when you started crying and yelled "Zoinks!" and told Mr. Belding that you had to resort to gay porn because he would never give you a reach-around when having unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when Belding got a concerned look on his face and said he knew where you were coming from and said everything would be ok? Remember when you and Belding then shared a tender hug? Remember when Belding said that it was time for you to be the pitcher in anal sex? Remember when he told you to meet him in the Bayside garage after work for a buttsex lesson? Remember how you thought that was an odd place to meet, but you readily agreed anyway? Remember when you showed up after school in the garage and saw that Belding and A.C. Slater were already there? Remember when Belding said that A.C. Slater was going to help out and show you the ropes? Remember when you said that was cool with you? Remember when Belding told you that the best way to learn about anal penetration was to learn on a car exhaust pipe before inserting your penis into a guy's butthole? Remember when Slater pulled out a small tube of what he said was lube? Remember when Slater started squeezing the liquid out of the tube and onto the car exhaust pipe? Remember when Belding told you to insert your cock into the exhaust pipe and start thrusting? Remember when your tiny cock got really hard because you were so turned on? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spider-man underwear and stuck your baby-sized erect cock into the exhaust pipe and tried moving around? Remember when you realized that you were stuck and couldn't move and yelled out "Zoinks! I'm stuck!"? Remember when Slater said, "that's because I lubed the exhaust pipe with Crazy Glue, you ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!" Remember when Belding opened the car door and turned on the engine, causing hot exhaust to exit through the exhaust pipe? Remember when you started crying because of the pain and begged Belding to stop? Remember when Belding put the car in Neutral and kept revving the engine, causing 300-degree exhaust to exit from the exhaust pipe? Remember when you got first-degree burns on your zoinker? Remember when Slater started ass-raping you while Belding was revving the engine? Remember when Belding kept uttering devilish laughs at your pain? Remember when the car started wobbling from side-to-side and then looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle rolling off the roof of the car and head-first onto a can of paint thinner on the garage floor? Remember when some of the paint thinner got into his eyes, painfully burning them? Remember how Tuttle's pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously despite the painful burning in his eyes?

You sure learned about gay sex and cars in that episode!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

"Screech Learns About CB Radios" Episode Recap

09th January 2008 - 09:18:13 PM
86374 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Radio Shack had a big sale and you purchased a CB radio? Remember how excited you were and you rode all the way home with your new CB radio sitting in the basket on the handlebars of your queer pink bike? Remember when you rushed upstairs to your room and plugged in the CB radio and hooked up the antenna? Remember how you decided to use the handle "Zoink Man" as your CB handle? Remember when you pushed the button on the side of the handle and said "Breaker 5-0! The Zoink Man is here on the line! Be aware there's a bear over on the I-5 South! Back off 10! Over!" Remember when you let go of the button on the handle and a trucker actually responded to your message? Remember when the trucker said, "This is Pig Pen on the I-5. SHUT THE FUCK UP ZOINK MAN!!! What is your CB license number?" Remember when you got scared and grabbed the handle again and pushed the button and said, "Breaker 5-0! The Zoink Man here again. Sorry guys! Over!" Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of your closet? Remember how the CB radio waves were interfering with Kevin's microprocessor and Kevin was really pissed off? Remember when Kevin grabbed the CB radio and unplugged it and said "Bzzt! Screech, you screwed up my memory functions, you jewish faggot! Bzzt!" Remember when Rod Belding climbed out from under your bed where he had apparently been hiding for days, waiting for the opportune time to crawl out and rape you? Remember how greasy Rod's mullet was? Remember when Rod punched you in the face and Kevin tore off your Zubaz with his metal claws? Remember when Kevin fired an ARC of about 100 Amps of current at your tiny ball sac, painfully burning your tiny balls? Remember when Kevin stuck his 12-inch long metal cock in your ass while Rod lodged his erect 11-inch member in your mouth? Remember when Hound Dog leapt off your bed and onto your back and peed on you? Remember how Rod and Kevin spit roasted you for 10 minutes, until your anal bleeding stained the floor? Remember when you heard a banging sound in your closet and looked over and Mr. Tuttle crashed through the wooden door? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how a 3-inch long wooden splinter severed an artery in his right leg when he smashed through the closet door? Remember when Tuttle blew his load shortly before passing out from lack of blood to his brain? Remember when Kevin shot his oily load up your ass and then rolled over, picked up your CB radio, and forcefully shoved it up your ass? You sure learned about CB radios in that episode!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

"Screech Learns About Race Relations Again" Episode Recap

27th December 2007 - 11:04:01 AM
86137 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode where you ran into Milo the janitor at supermarket across the street from Bayside? Is it true that you made fun of him because the only things he was purchasing were several cases of generic brand grape soda, ribs, and Cheetos? Remember when you said, "Milo, don't forget to add fruit to your typical negro meal - I saw some watermelon in aisle four for 39 cents a pound! Zoinks!" Remember when you thought that you were being hilarious and that Milo would appreciate your off-color joke? Remember when Milo replied, "I wuz saving dat watermelon for you, white chowder!" Remember when Milo pulled out the mop from his cart? Remember how odd you thought it was that Milo carried his mop with him into the supermarket? Remember when Milo said that his mop was his best friend, and that his mop was going to help him get some? Remember when Milo smacked you into a display case of Spaghettios cans, causing them to topple? Remember when Milo said, "I gots cleanup on aisle 3, BITCH! I best lay dat jewish soap on tha floor." Remember when he whacked you in your gonzo nose with the mop again, causing blood to spurt out, which he quickly mopped up? Remember when he threw a can of Spaghettios and your face, yelling "Uh oh, Spaghettios!" Remember when the can broke your eye socket and rendered you unconscious? Remember when you woke up in a puddle of blood and sperm in a hospital bed? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your rectum and discovered that a watermelon was lodged up there? Remember how Milo was in the hospital room with you? Remember when Milo was telling the doctor that you went into a homosexual rampage at the supermarket and tried to steal a watermelon by shoving it up your ass? Milo sure taught you about race relations in that episode!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

"Santa Clause Attacks Screech" Episode Recap

20th December 2007 - 11:03:25 AM
86027 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Santa Clause broke into your house around Christmas? Remember how Santa was upset because you were Jewish and didn't have a chimney? Remember when Santa said he was supposed to come down the chimney and you screwed up everything and ruined his day? Remember when Santa attacked you and then had unprotected gay sex with you and blew a massive load in your butt? Remember how the attack was eerily reminiscent of a Belding's attack? Remember how much that turned you on? Remember when you yanked off Santa's hat and saw a pink yarmulke underneath? Remember when you discovered that the guy in the Santa suit was Neil Jewbergstein, your local rabbi and he was helping you celebrate the holidays? You sure learned about Hanukkah that time!