Monday, August 29, 2005

"The Clown" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where the circus came to visit Bayside? Remember when a couple clowns visited Mr. Tuttle's class? Remember when the first clown, named "Bozo," showed you and the class a series of magic tricks and balloon animals? Remember when the second clown, named "Cookie," asked the class for a volunteer? Remember when you eagerly raised your hand? Remember when Cookie blew up a long balloon and handed it to you? Remember when he asked you to tie a balloon know? Remember when you replied "what's a balloon knot?" Remember when Cookie said "I'll show you," and then threw you down on the ground as he dropped trow? Remember when you looked up and saw his asshole staring back as you from a foot away? Remember when he said "can you see MY balloon knot, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he unleashed a torrent of diarrhea that spray all over your face, poofy hair, and Zubaz? Remember when Cookie turned around and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when the entire class started laughing? Remember when Cookie turned around and took off his make-up and you discovered that Mr. Belding had been dressed up as Cookie the entire time? Remember when Belding stepped on your nuts and then teabagged you while Slater had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the entire class while Mr. Tuttle jerked off? You sure got screwed over that time!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

"Tainted Love" episode recap

16th August 2005 - 11:02:32 PM
71748 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss when you were listening to a tape of hits from the 80s on your Walkman during your lunch period? Remember when Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" was played and you were singing along? Remember when Zack said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DICKHEAD!!!" and ordered you to stop? Remember when you started crying and ran to the bathroom to wipe away your tears? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and ran into Milo, the janitor, who was cleaning up the urinal after your friend Mikey had taken a shit in it? Remember when Milo asked what was wrong and you told him that the other kids were making fun of you because you were singing "Tainted Love"? Remember when Mile replied "hey White Chowder, do you really like Tainted Love"? Remember when you replied that you did? Remember when he said "well then why don't I give you some tainted love then, Snowflake"! Remember when Milo threw you face first into the bathroom stall and then yanked off your Zubaz and lodged the handle of his mop in your rectum? Remember when he dropped trow and rubbed his taint all over your face and then took a shit on your 'fro? Remember when he said "give me some 'tainted love,' FAG!!!" Remember when he rolled you over and had unprotected buttsex with you just like he used to do with the HIV+ inmates at the county jail when he served his sentence for child molestation? Milo sure got you good that time!

Monday, August 15, 2005

"Screech Learns About Swirlies" episode recap

15th August 2005 - 11:55:05 PM
71283 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you went to the Dairy Queen with Zack and Mr. Belding? Remember when you arrived at the Diary Queen and ran into Slater, who had just come over from the Taco Bell? Remember how Slater was finishing up a chocolate milkshake? Remember when Slater asked you if you wanted a "chocolate swirlie"? Remember when you looked up at the menu and told Slater that you didn't see "chocolate swirlie" listed on the menu? Remember when Slater said not to worry about it because it was a new product? Remember when Slater headed toward the bathroom and mentioned he'd be right back? Remember when Slater returned and you were upset because Belding was eating a pudding pop and Zack was eating a sundae, but you weren't eating anything because you were waiting for Slater to give you the chocolate swirlie? Remember when Slater asked you to follow him to a secret room where he'd present you with the chocolate swirlie? Remember when he pushed you into the bathroom and you said "Slater, are you giving me the chocolate swirlie in here?" Remember when he replied that he was going to do so? Remember when Belding walked into the bathroom and slugged you in the back? Remember when Belding grabbed your left leg and Slater grabbed your right and they dragged you into the second stall, where Slater had just sprayed an enormous amount of smelly Taco-Bell induced diarrhea? Remember when Slater and Belding dunked your head in the toilet bowl and Slater said "he's your chocolate swirlie, FAGGOT!!!" as he flushed the toilet? Remember when you saw one of Slater's huge turds swirl past your eyes as the filthy disease-ridden watery waste flushed down the toilet? Remember when you got typhoid from Slater's filthy feces and spend a month in the hospital in Intensive Care? Slater sure got you good that time!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

"Screech and the Love Tester" episode recap

14th August 2005 - 02:07:51 PM
70128 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Slater's old girlfriend Jennifer, from the army military base, transferred to Bayside? Remember when Zack and you were supposed to keep Jennifer away from Jessie, Slater's current girlfriend, until Slater could figure out what to do? Remember when you stupidly told Jennifer that Jessie was Slater's girlfriend? Remember when Mr. Tuttle's science class was building science projects? Remember when you and Kelly built a "love tester" that measured compatibility between two people? Remember when you hooked on of the prongs up to Zack and the other to Jennifer? Remember when the machine indicated that they were very compatible? Remember when Slater became jealous and grabbed the prong from Zack? Remember when the machine started making noises and indicated that the compatibility between Jennifer and Slater was the highest possible? Remember when Mr. Belding barged into the classroom and said, "hey, hey, hey what is going on here?" Remember how pissed Mr. Belding was about all of the noise emanating from the classroom? Remember when you explained that you had built a love-testing machine? Remember when Mr. Belding said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when Belding said he wanted to test the machine out? Remember when he hooked up the machine to you and Jennifer, and then you and Lisa, you and Kelly, and you and Jessie? Remember how the machine indicated the lowest level of compatibility between you and those girls? Remember when Belding said "one more test" and then dropped trow and yanked off your Zubaz? Remember then he hooked up one prong to his penis and the other prong to your asshole? Remember when the machine went bonkers and indicated the highest level of compatibility? Remember when Belding said "Screech, I guess this is fate" as he proceeded to having unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the whole class while Mt. Tuttle masturbated? You sure got screwed over that time!

Monday, August 08, 2005

"Screech Plays Hacky Sack" episode recap

08th August 2005 - 01:41:21 AM
66446 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from the College Years where you showed up and met your RA, Mr. Rogers, for the first time? Remember how much you liked his mullet? Remember when you told how how hip and cool it looked, and he said "thanks"? Remember when he asked you if you wanted to play "hacky sack" with Zack and him? Remember when you told him you would if you knew what hacky sack was? Remember when Mr. Rogers told you that hacky sack was a game where a group up people line up in a circle and take turns kicking around a bean bag? Remember when you said that the game sounded like fun and agreed to play? Remember when Mr. Rogers led you into his room where Zack was waiting? Remember when Mr. Rogers asked Zack where the bean bag was? Remember when Zack replied "Screech has it"? Remember you said that you didn't have it, and wondered what was wrong with Zack? Remember when Zack replied "yes you do, BITCH!!!" and then kicked you in the nuts? Remember when Zack said "Screech, we're playing with your hairless bean bag today, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when Mr. Rogers jumped at you and then also kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack then kicked you again and he and Mr. Rogers took turned kicking you in your nutsac for the next 15 minutes? Remember when they finally stopped and then Slater and Mr. Belding jumped out of Mr. Rogers' closet, where they had apparently been hiding for the previous half hour? Remember how Mr. Belding was dressed up as a cop and Slater was dressed up as a lizard, like they both were in the previous episode when you killed Slater's pet lizard? Remember when you thought Mr. Belding was going to arrest Zack and Mr. Rogers? Remember when instead of arresting Zack and Mr. Rogers, Belding handcuffed you to Mr. Rogers' bunkbed and then had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when Slater said "suck on my lizard dick, BITCH!!!" You really got screwed over that time!!!!