Screech, remember that episode from the fourth season of Saved By The Bell when you asked out Lisa Turtle and she finally agreed to do so? Remember how that was the happiest day of your life and you were finally going to get your Nubian goddess? Remember when she told you that she was really horny for you and that she wanted you to pick her up at Friday night at her place because her parents were out of town? Remember how you ironed your best pair of Zubaz pants and rode your pink Schwinn bike over to Lisa Turtle’s house on that Friday evening? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Lisa answered the door in a nightgown? Remember when you saw her and exclaimed, “Zoinks!!!” Remember when Lisa said to walk upstairs and meet her in the bedroom for some playtime? Remember when you ran up the stairs and into her room? Remember how surprised you were when you walked through the doorway to her room and saw Kevin the Robot roll out of her closet? Remember how you had thrown Kevin the Robot in the garbage two years earlier after that episode when everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Kevin said that there were no hard feelings and that Lisa had fished him out of the county dump a year ago? Remember how relieved that made you feel? Remember when Lisa ran into her bedroom and started taking off your clothes? Remember how uncomfortable it made you that Lisa was doing this in front of Kevin the Robot? Remember when Lisa said to be quiet and no worry about it because Kevin was merely a robot? Remember when you were completely naked and Lisa saw your baby-sized zoinker? Remember how relieved you were when Lisa said that your penis was just right? Remember when Lisa said she wanted to get kinky and tie you up? Remember how excited that made you feel? Remember when she handcuffed each of your arms and legs to the bedposts and then started tickling you? Remember when she got naked and you saw her toned and dark body? Remember how incredibly turned on you were at this time? Remember how much less turned on you were seconds later when she put on a strap-on dildo and said she was going to fuck you with it? Remember when you asked her to stop and begged Kevin the Robot for help?
Remember when Kelly Kapowski walked out of Lisa’s closet at this moment and was naked? Remember how she had taco crumbs on her face and threw an empty bag of Taco Bell in the garbage can? Remember when you asked Kelly for help and she sat on your face? Remember when she farted right in your mouth and Lisa anally penetrated you with the strap-on dildo? Remember how Kelly took a shit in your face and wiped her ass clean with your jew fro while Lisa pounded away at your asshole with the dildo? Remember when Lisa got mad because your torn anus was bleeding onto her bed? Remember when you heard the gutters on Lisa’ roof violently shaking and looked out the window and saw a naked Mr. Tuttle dangling from the gutters, hanging to the gutters with one hand while masturbating vigorously with his other hand? Remember when the portion of the gutters from which Mr. Tuttle was dangling ripped from the roof and plummeted to the ground, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into Lisa’s room and said “Hey Hey Hey, what is going on here? “ Remember how Mr. Belding was naked and had a rock hard 12-inch cock? Remember when Belding told Lisa to stop fucking you with the dildo and then he inserted his enormous cock into your ass and pumped away for a couple minutes before filling you with HIV+ semen? Remember when they eventually let you go home to clean yourself up? Remember when you limped into your science class the following Monday and saw Kevin the Robot hooked up to the class’ VCR? Remember when Kevin started playing a tape of your anal violation that he had secretly taped at Lisa’s house? Lisa Turtle really got you good that time!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
"AC Slater's Surprise Birthday Party" Episode Recap
12th March 2008 - 12:57:48 AM
87270 : Ox
Screech, remember that time when you offered to have a surprise birthday party for AC Slater at your house? Remember how the entire Bayside gang, include Belding, Tuttle, and Milo the janitor were invited? Remember how Belding was going to barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs in your backyard? Remember when Zack and Jessie showed up early at your place and put some birthday cakes, hamburgers, hot dogs, and soda in your refrigerator? Remember when everyone except Salter and Zack had shown up at your place? Remember how everyone hid in your family room, waiting for Slater to lead Zack into the party? Remember how Belding had eaten Taco bell for lunch and really needed to use the bathroom? Remember how Lisa Turtle was in the bathroom at the time changing her tampon? Remember when you told Belding to walk through your kitchen and then up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor? Remember when you saw Belding walk into the kitchen and then heard the refrigerator door open? Remember how odd that seemed to you, but you just assumed he wanted to eat a couple cupcakes or something while taking a dump? Remember how, unbeknownst to you at the time, Belding opened the vegetable crisper drawer in your refrigerator and took a massive shit in it? Remember how he filled the crisper halfway to the top and then wiped his ass clean with a couple broccoli stalks and a head of lettuce? Remember when he closed the crisper drawer and the refrigerator and returned to the family room where everyone was still hiding?
Remember when Slater and Zack arrived at your front door about a minute later and opened the door? Remember when everyone yelled out "Surprise!" Remember how happy everyone was? Remember how less happy everyone was 5 minutes later when Kelly opened the refrigerator door and saw that all of the food had gone bad, apparently as a result of coming into contact with the toxic fumes from Belding's shit? Remember how Belding pretended to be shocked that the food had gone bad and claimed that the damage was caused by you because you had placed an uncovered glass of orange juice in there in the morning and probably stupidly messed with the temperature control? Remember how mad everyone was at you by this time? Remember when Hound Dog started barking at you and bit you in the knee? Remember when Kevin the Robot utter, "BZZT, let's get him and teach him a lesson! BZZT!" Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and tried to run away? Remember when Milo the Janitor clotheslined you with his arm and said "Milo done come here by bus, and Milo's gone git some jew food Biatch!" Remember when Milo pulled down your Zubaz and stuck his mop handle (which he apparently brought with him) deep into your rectum and then yanked it out and had unprotected buttsex with your torn asshole? Remember when Slater picked up the kitchen table and smashed it on your torso, breaking several ribs and nearly crushing your torso? Remember how you were in immense pain and begged for mercy? Remember when Kelly Kapowski made fun of your tiny cock, stomped on your kneecaps and then dropped a deuce on your busted birdchest? Remember when you looked over and saw that your kitchen cabinets were wobbling? Remember when the cabinets cracked in half and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how he was coated in Cheerios from a box that had apparently been in the cabinets with him? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when Belding went into your garage to retrieve your bocce ball set? Remember when Belding started whipping the heavy bocce balls at your junk? Remember how he missed your cock, due to its tiny size? Remember when one of the bocce balls hit you in the face, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up hours later and your mom was screaming at you for destroying her kitchen? Remember when you she kicked you in the junk for being such a bad son? You really got screwed over that time!
87270 : Ox
Screech, remember that time when you offered to have a surprise birthday party for AC Slater at your house? Remember how the entire Bayside gang, include Belding, Tuttle, and Milo the janitor were invited? Remember how Belding was going to barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs in your backyard? Remember when Zack and Jessie showed up early at your place and put some birthday cakes, hamburgers, hot dogs, and soda in your refrigerator? Remember when everyone except Salter and Zack had shown up at your place? Remember how everyone hid in your family room, waiting for Slater to lead Zack into the party? Remember how Belding had eaten Taco bell for lunch and really needed to use the bathroom? Remember how Lisa Turtle was in the bathroom at the time changing her tampon? Remember when you told Belding to walk through your kitchen and then up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor? Remember when you saw Belding walk into the kitchen and then heard the refrigerator door open? Remember how odd that seemed to you, but you just assumed he wanted to eat a couple cupcakes or something while taking a dump? Remember how, unbeknownst to you at the time, Belding opened the vegetable crisper drawer in your refrigerator and took a massive shit in it? Remember how he filled the crisper halfway to the top and then wiped his ass clean with a couple broccoli stalks and a head of lettuce? Remember when he closed the crisper drawer and the refrigerator and returned to the family room where everyone was still hiding?
Remember when Slater and Zack arrived at your front door about a minute later and opened the door? Remember when everyone yelled out "Surprise!" Remember how happy everyone was? Remember how less happy everyone was 5 minutes later when Kelly opened the refrigerator door and saw that all of the food had gone bad, apparently as a result of coming into contact with the toxic fumes from Belding's shit? Remember how Belding pretended to be shocked that the food had gone bad and claimed that the damage was caused by you because you had placed an uncovered glass of orange juice in there in the morning and probably stupidly messed with the temperature control? Remember how mad everyone was at you by this time? Remember when Hound Dog started barking at you and bit you in the knee? Remember when Kevin the Robot utter, "BZZT, let's get him and teach him a lesson! BZZT!" Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and tried to run away? Remember when Milo the Janitor clotheslined you with his arm and said "Milo done come here by bus, and Milo's gone git some jew food Biatch!" Remember when Milo pulled down your Zubaz and stuck his mop handle (which he apparently brought with him) deep into your rectum and then yanked it out and had unprotected buttsex with your torn asshole? Remember when Slater picked up the kitchen table and smashed it on your torso, breaking several ribs and nearly crushing your torso? Remember how you were in immense pain and begged for mercy? Remember when Kelly Kapowski made fun of your tiny cock, stomped on your kneecaps and then dropped a deuce on your busted birdchest? Remember when you looked over and saw that your kitchen cabinets were wobbling? Remember when the cabinets cracked in half and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how he was coated in Cheerios from a box that had apparently been in the cabinets with him? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when Belding went into your garage to retrieve your bocce ball set? Remember when Belding started whipping the heavy bocce balls at your junk? Remember how he missed your cock, due to its tiny size? Remember when one of the bocce balls hit you in the face, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up hours later and your mom was screaming at you for destroying her kitchen? Remember when you she kicked you in the junk for being such a bad son? You really got screwed over that time!
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