"Lisa's Date With Screech" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode from the fourth season of Saved By The Bell when you asked out Lisa Turtle and she finally agreed to do so? Remember how that was the happiest day of your life and you were finally going to get your Nubian goddess? Remember when she told you that she was really horny for you and that she wanted you to pick her up at Friday night at her place because her parents were out of town? Remember how you ironed your best pair of Zubaz pants and rode your pink Schwinn bike over to Lisa Turtle’s house on that Friday evening? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Lisa answered the door in a nightgown? Remember when you saw her and exclaimed, “Zoinks!!!” Remember when Lisa said to walk upstairs and meet her in the bedroom for some playtime? Remember when you ran up the stairs and into her room? Remember how surprised you were when you walked through the doorway to her room and saw Kevin the Robot roll out of her closet? Remember how you had thrown Kevin the Robot in the garbage two years earlier after that episode when everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Kevin said that there were no hard feelings and that Lisa had fished him out of the county dump a year ago? Remember how relieved that made you feel? Remember when Lisa ran into her bedroom and started taking off your clothes? Remember how uncomfortable it made you that Lisa was doing this in front of Kevin the Robot? Remember when Lisa said to be quiet and no worry about it because Kevin was merely a robot? Remember when you were completely naked and Lisa saw your baby-sized zoinker? Remember how relieved you were when Lisa said that your penis was just right? Remember when Lisa said she wanted to get kinky and tie you up? Remember how excited that made you feel? Remember when she handcuffed each of your arms and legs to the bedposts and then started tickling you? Remember when she got naked and you saw her toned and dark body? Remember how incredibly turned on you were at this time? Remember how much less turned on you were seconds later when she put on a strap-on dildo and said she was going to fuck you with it? Remember when you asked her to stop and begged Kevin the Robot for help?

Remember when Kelly Kapowski walked out of Lisa’s closet at this moment and was naked? Remember how she had taco crumbs on her face and threw an empty bag of Taco Bell in the garbage can? Remember when you asked Kelly for help and she sat on your face? Remember when she farted right in your mouth and Lisa anally penetrated you with the strap-on dildo? Remember how Kelly took a shit in your face and wiped her ass clean with your jew fro while Lisa pounded away at your asshole with the dildo? Remember when Lisa got mad because your torn anus was bleeding onto her bed? Remember when you heard the gutters on Lisa’ roof violently shaking and looked out the window and saw a naked Mr. Tuttle dangling from the gutters, hanging to the gutters with one hand while masturbating vigorously with his other hand? Remember when the portion of the gutters from which Mr. Tuttle was dangling ripped from the roof and plummeted to the ground, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into Lisa’s room and said “Hey Hey Hey, what is going on here? “ Remember how Mr. Belding was naked and had a rock hard 12-inch cock? Remember when Belding told Lisa to stop fucking you with the dildo and then he inserted his enormous cock into your ass and pumped away for a couple minutes before filling you with HIV+ semen? Remember when they eventually let you go home to clean yourself up? Remember when you limped into your science class the following Monday and saw Kevin the Robot hooked up to the class’ VCR? Remember when Kevin started playing a tape of your anal violation that he had secretly taped at Lisa’s house? Lisa Turtle really got you good that time!