"Screech Tries Out For The Football Team" Episode Recap

17th August 2004 - 12:42:50 AM
9732 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you tried out for the football team? Remember how you intially weren't going to try out because you thought you were too weak and scrawny to make the team and you didn't want to get hurt? Remember when Slater convinced you that everything would be ok and that he'd protect you so you wouldn't get hurt? Remember when you showed up in the locker room on the first day of practice and the football coach told you to hurry up and get out onto the field? Remember when you began crying because you couldn't find a uniform that fit? Remember when Slater put his muscular arms arm you, gripping you tight, and told you not to worry about it, and that you'd be fine because nobody would notice you weren't wearing regulation pants if you wore an extra large shirt? Remember when Slater's firm grip caused you to pitch a tent as you ran out onto the field wearing just a helmet, shoulderpads, and an oversized jersey? Remember when Slater was the quarterback and you were the center on a practice drill? Remember when Slater gave new meaning to the phrase "practice drill" as you lined up in front of him and he whipped out his erect, sweaty Mexican rod? Remember when he inserted his rod in your cornhole and had unprotected sex with you in front of the whole team? Remember when he pulled out and blew his load in your curly "white man's afro?" Remember when he then kicked you in the nuts and told you to "get the fuck off the field???" Remember when Mr. Belding and several of the players formed a circle around you and began a circle jerk, playing a version of the "cookie game" with your face? Remember how the last person to blow his load on your face had to lick up evrryone's load off your face? Remember when Mr. Belding threw the game so that he could gobble down everyone else's loads off your face? Remember when Mr. Belding got pissed off at you afterward and suspended you for disrupting practice? Remember when your parents had to show up at the school to bring you home and Mr. Belding told them that you were trying to suck off the team? Remember when your parents made you see a psychiatrist for 12 months afterwards to (unsuccessfully) cure your homosexual urges? Mr. Belding and Slater are still laughing about that one!!!

"Screech Learns About Watersports" Episode Recap

15th August 2004 - 06:42:20 PM
9704 : Ox

Screech, remember that time at Bayside when you were signing up for your 3rd quarter classes and Mr. Belding asked you if you liked watersports? Remember how you thought he was referring to the swimming gym class, so you replied 'yes'? Remember how Mr. Belding told you to head over to the locker room and get ready for the watersports? Remember how you put your tight little Speedo on your scrawny frame and waited for class to start? Remember how I then walked into the locker room and threw a football as hard as I could, smacking you right in the face? Remember how you eyes swelled shut and you couldn't see anything, so you cried out in pain? Remember how I told you you needed to take a shower before you could get in the pool? Remember when I then dropped my pants and gave you a golden shower? Remember when Mr. Belding and Mr. Tuttle then followed up by pissing all over your body, giving you a warm shower of urine? Remember when Salter walked into the locker room and then unleashed a smelly, nasty, Mexican shit on your chest? Remember when Mr. Belding and Slater then picked up your weak body and fired it into the pool, and you floated around with Slater's brown egg? Remember when the gym teacher walked into the pool area a minute later and thought you had gone to the bathroom in the pool? Remember how he screamed at you and sent you to Mr. Belding's office? Remember how Mr. Belding suspended you for a week!

The Introduction of Ox

12th August 2004 - 12:50:03 AM
9663 : Ox

Screech, remember how I was on the football team at Bayside and I used to always pick on you because you were so weak and girlish? Remember how I also used to ass-slam you at the direction of Mr. Belding, who would toss off while watching?

I want to ass slam you again just like old times. Meet me at the orange-colored gas station on Hollywood Blvd. in West Hollywood tomorrow evening at midnight. Go straight to the bathroom and knock 3 times on the door of the second bathroom stall. Then say the secret password, "Belding's toupee," and then I'll let you in and we can toss some salad.