Thursday, December 27, 2007

"Screech Learns About Race Relations Again" Episode Recap

27th December 2007 - 11:04:01 AM
86137 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode where you ran into Milo the janitor at supermarket across the street from Bayside? Is it true that you made fun of him because the only things he was purchasing were several cases of generic brand grape soda, ribs, and Cheetos? Remember when you said, "Milo, don't forget to add fruit to your typical negro meal - I saw some watermelon in aisle four for 39 cents a pound! Zoinks!" Remember when you thought that you were being hilarious and that Milo would appreciate your off-color joke? Remember when Milo replied, "I wuz saving dat watermelon for you, white chowder!" Remember when Milo pulled out the mop from his cart? Remember how odd you thought it was that Milo carried his mop with him into the supermarket? Remember when Milo said that his mop was his best friend, and that his mop was going to help him get some? Remember when Milo smacked you into a display case of Spaghettios cans, causing them to topple? Remember when Milo said, "I gots cleanup on aisle 3, BITCH! I best lay dat jewish soap on tha floor." Remember when he whacked you in your gonzo nose with the mop again, causing blood to spurt out, which he quickly mopped up? Remember when he threw a can of Spaghettios and your face, yelling "Uh oh, Spaghettios!" Remember when the can broke your eye socket and rendered you unconscious? Remember when you woke up in a puddle of blood and sperm in a hospital bed? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your rectum and discovered that a watermelon was lodged up there? Remember how Milo was in the hospital room with you? Remember when Milo was telling the doctor that you went into a homosexual rampage at the supermarket and tried to steal a watermelon by shoving it up your ass? Milo sure taught you about race relations in that episode!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

"Santa Clause Attacks Screech" Episode Recap

20th December 2007 - 11:03:25 AM
86027 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Santa Clause broke into your house around Christmas? Remember how Santa was upset because you were Jewish and didn't have a chimney? Remember when Santa said he was supposed to come down the chimney and you screwed up everything and ruined his day? Remember when Santa attacked you and then had unprotected gay sex with you and blew a massive load in your butt? Remember how the attack was eerily reminiscent of a Belding's attack? Remember how much that turned you on? Remember when you yanked off Santa's hat and saw a pink yarmulke underneath? Remember when you discovered that the guy in the Santa suit was Neil Jewbergstein, your local rabbi and he was helping you celebrate the holidays? You sure learned about Hanukkah that time!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

"Screech Learns About Science" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where you were in Mr. Dewey’s Chemistry class and were learning about the Ideal Gas Law, i.e., pV = nRT? Remember when you farted and yelled out “Zoinks!! That’s my ideal gas law!!! Zoinks! Zoinks!” Remember when nobody was laughing at you and Slater and Zack started pelting you with pennies from the back of the classroom? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, “Well Screech, since you’re the comedian, why don’t you come up to the front of the class and we’ll test out the Ideal Gas Law in action?” Remember when you walked up to the front of the class and then Mr. Dewey handcuffed you to the table and pulled down your Zubaz? Remember when you uttered, “What’s going on?” Remember when Mr. Dewey explained that in the Ideal Gas Law equation, p represents pressure, V represents volume, n in the amount of the substance in moles, R is the universal gas constant, and T is the absolute temperature? Remember when Mr. Dewey shoved your hairless beanbag into a small plastic box? Remember when Mr. Dewey hooked up a pressure gauge to your hairless beanbag in the box and said that the pressure on your tiny balls was 1.2 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when he shoved a thermometer into your little pee-hole and said that it read a temperature of 310 degrees Kelvin (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit)? Remember how the thermometer was large and tore the inner walls of your urethra? Remember when you screamed in pain and everyone started laughing hysterically?

Remember when Dewey said, “Let the games begin” and then pulled out a blowtorch? Remember when he adjusted the blowtorch so that a blue colored flame was being produced and then pointed the flame onto your zoinker, painfully burning your ballbag? Remember when Dewey said, “hey gang, the thermometer reads 435 degrees Kelvin (325 degrees Fahrenheit) and the volume of Screech’s scrotum is constant while in the box. So the elements V, n, and R of the equation are not changing. What is the pressure on Screech’s ballbag?” Remember how you coughing up blood at this point and were crying because the painful burning of your crotch? Remember when Jesse Spano raised her hand and said that because the temperature had increased by 40%, the pressure had to increase by the same amount and that therefore the pressure should be 1.68 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when Dewey checked the pressure gauge and said that Jesse was right? Remember when Dewey finally shut off the blowtorch and you looked down and saw that your balls were practically burnt to a crisp? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom said that the burnt cock was the came color as Milo the janitor? Remember how the burning of your balls resulted in much smoke, causing the fire alarm to go off? Remember when Dewey told everyone to head outside? Remember when you collapsed in pain? Remember when the fire marshal came to the school and found you in the classroom laying on the floor in pain? Remember when he said that you violated the fire code and gave you a $500 ticket? Remember when he said he’d teach you to obey the fire laws and then beat you over the head with his fire helmet and his partner inserted a fire hose into your ass and then turned it on full blast, causing you to land face-first into the blackboard? Remember when you broke your nose and then the firemen viciously assraped you? Remember when you a heard a rattling sound coming from the acid hood in the back of the room and then looked over and saw the entire hood collapse onto the floor and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how Tuttle was naked, masturbating vigorously, and was suffering internal bleeding as a result of the hydrochloric acid fumes he had inhaled while in the acid hood?

You sure learned about science in that episode!!

"Screech Learns About The Ideal Gas Law" Episode Recap

13th December 2007 - 01:21:43 AM
85884 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were in Mr. Dewey’s Chemistry class and were learning about the Ideal Gas Law, i.e., pV = nRT? Remember when you farted and yelled out “Zoinks!! That’s my ideal gas law!!! Zoinks! Zoinks!” Remember when nobody was laughing at you and Slater and Zack started pelting you with pennies from the back of the classroom? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, “Well Screech, since you’re the comedian, why don’t you come up to the front of the class and we’ll test out the Ideal Gas Law in action?” Remember when you walked up to the front of the class and then Mr. Dewey handcuffed you to the table and pulled down your Zubaz? Remember when you uttered, “What’s going on?” Remember when Mr. Dewey explained that in the Ideal Gas Law equation, p represents pressure, V represents volume, n in the amount of the substance in moles, R is the universal gas constant, and T is the absolute temperature? Remember when Mr. Dewey shoved your hairless beanbag into a small plastic box? Remember when Mr. Dewey hooked up a pressure gauge to your hairless beanbag in the box and said that the pressure on your tiny balls was 1.2 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when he shoved a thermometer into your little pee-hole and said that it read a temperature of 310 degrees Kelvin (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit)? Remember how the thermometer was large and tore the inner walls of your urethra? Remember when you screamed in pain and everyone started laughing hysterically?

Remember when Dewey said, “Let the games begin” and then pulled out a blowtorch? Remember when he adjusted the blowtorch so that a blue colored flame was being produced and then pointed the flame onto your zoinker, painfully burning your ballbag? Remember when Dewey said, “hey gang, the thermometer reads 435 degrees Kelvin (325 degrees Fahrenheit) and the volume of Screech’s scrotum is constant while in the box. So the elements V, n, and R of the equation are not changing. What is the pressure on Screech’s ballbag?” Remember how you coughing up blood at this point and were crying because the painful burning of your crotch? Remember when Jesse Spano raised her hand and said that because the temperature had increased by 40%, the pressure had to increase by the same amount and that therefore the pressure should be 1.68 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when Dewey checked the pressure gauge and said that Jesse was right? Remember when Dewey finally shut off the blowtorch and you looked down and saw that your balls were practically burnt to a crisp? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom said that the burnt cock was the came color as Milo the janitor? Remember how the burning of your balls resulted in much smoke, causing the fire alarm to go off? Remember when Dewey told everyone to head outside? Remember when you collapsed in pain? Remember when the fire marshal came to the school and found you in the classroom laying on the floor in pain? Remember when he said that you violated the fire code and gave you a $500 ticket? Remember when he said he’d teach you to obey the fire laws and then beat you over the head with his fire helmet and his partner inserted a fire hose into your ass and then turned it on full blast, causing you to land face-first into the blackboard? Remember when you broke your nose and then the firemen viscously assraped you? Remember when you a heard a rattling sound coming from the acid hood in the back of the room and then looked over and saw the entire hood collapse onto the floor and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how Tuttle was naked, masturbating vigorously, and was suffering internal bleeding as a result of the hydrochloric acid fumes he had inhaled while in the acid hood?

You sure learned about science in that episode!!