09th July 2007 - 11:59:10 PM
84215 : Ox
Screech, do you remember that episode where you invited Mr. Belding over to your house to play Atari games on your Atari 2600? Remember when you played in your family room? Remember when you took a break from game play and let Kevin the Robot play against Mr. Belding in a game of Space Invaders? Remember when you claimed that your wrist needed a rest, but in reality your wanted to go blow a load because sitting next to Belding on your couch was turning you on? Remember when you were upstairs for a while and Kevin the Robot set a brand new all-time record at Space Invaders? Remember when Kevin was so excited that he rolled the stairs and opened the door to your bedroom? Remember when Kevin saw you with your pants down around your ankles as you were having sex with the little tiny holes in one of the serial ports on the back of your Apple IIe computer? Remember how jealous Kevin was because he liked uploading various files to that Apple IIe computer and you were supposed to be his sex toy? Remember when Belding walked into the room and was also upset because his enormous cock wasn�t in your asshole at that very moment? Remember when Belding got even with you by dropping his pants and then ripping an extremely nasty fart? Remember how Belding�s fart was extremely potent and had a density so large that you actually see the aurora borealis (the Northern Lights) through his fart cloud? Remember when you doubled over from the disgusting smell and Kevin rolled over and gave you a charge of 200 Volts to your big hooked Jew nose? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal cock into your brownpipe and Belding lodged his enormous cock into your mouth? Remember when Belding and Kevin spit roasted you? Remember when Kevin raised his claws up in the air and gave Belding a couple Hi-Fives? Remember when Kevin shot his oily robotic load with such force that it blew you out the window and you broke your neck? Remember when you ended up in the hospital in traction for two months? Kevin sure taught you a lesson about misusing your computer in that episode!
Monday, July 09, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
"Screech Learns to Cook" Episode Recap
03rd April 2007 - 12:42:46 AM
79900 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you took a cooking class during your senior year at Bayside? Remember when the teacher was Mr. Belding for some unknown reason and Zack, Slater, Lisa, Kelly, Jessie, and I were all in the class with you? Remember when I was called “Scud” in this episode and was a burnout, instead of being the jock “Ox.” Remember how that didn’t make any sense at all? Remember how you kept interrupting Mr. Belding when he was trying to show everyone how to cook steaks? Remember when you kept saying stupid things like “Zoinks” over and over again because you thought that was funny, even though nobody else did? Remember when Belding finally had enough and called you to the front of the class to have you help demonstrate how to make shish kebabs? Remember when Belding stuck a long stick into a few pieces of meat and cooked it over a flame at the stove? Remember when he let you ate a piece and told everyone how good it tasted? Remember how proud you were that Belding, your hero, was letting you help out in class? Remember when Belding said that the next item you were going to help him cook was a “Jew-kebab?” Remember when you didn’t know what that was, but you assumed it must be good because Belding was a good cook? Remember when Belding told you to turn around a face the class and then he picked up a pipe wrench and smacked you over the head with it before you could react? Remember when he yanked off your Zubaz, dropped his pants, and inserted his huge erect middle aged penis into your rectum and said “hey everybody, I have a fresh piece of meat on my stick. This is a good Jew-kebab!!!” Remember how everyone was laughing and you looked over and saw that Zack’s dad and Mr. Dewey had walked into the classroom and Dewey was sucking off Zack’s dad? Remember when Kelly grabbed a frying pan and you thought she was going to smack Belding in the head and save you? Remember when she instead whacked you in the tailbone with the frying pan, causing great pain? Remember how everyone was laughing? Remember how there was a kitchen cabinet filled with bags of sugar, flour, and cereal above the stove in the kitchen classroom? Remember when the cabinet started wobbling and cracking? Remember when all of a sudden the entire foundation of the cabinet cracked as if under great stress and Mr. Tuttle crashed onto the open flame on the stove? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was furiously jerking off to your cries of pain? Remember when he rolled off the flame and smothered his burning skin by running his piping hot ass all over your face? Remember when he then sat down on your torso to rest because he was really fat and out of breath? Remember when your ribs shattered like pretzels under the pressure of Mr. Tuttle’s 500 lb frame? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at the popping sounds of your ribs splintering into little pieces? Remember how much everyone was masturbating as you turned blue and lost consciousness? Remember when you went into cardiac arrest and almost died? Remember when you were in a coma for three months? You sure learned about cooking in that episode!
79900 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you took a cooking class during your senior year at Bayside? Remember when the teacher was Mr. Belding for some unknown reason and Zack, Slater, Lisa, Kelly, Jessie, and I were all in the class with you? Remember when I was called “Scud” in this episode and was a burnout, instead of being the jock “Ox.” Remember how that didn’t make any sense at all? Remember how you kept interrupting Mr. Belding when he was trying to show everyone how to cook steaks? Remember when you kept saying stupid things like “Zoinks” over and over again because you thought that was funny, even though nobody else did? Remember when Belding finally had enough and called you to the front of the class to have you help demonstrate how to make shish kebabs? Remember when Belding stuck a long stick into a few pieces of meat and cooked it over a flame at the stove? Remember when he let you ate a piece and told everyone how good it tasted? Remember how proud you were that Belding, your hero, was letting you help out in class? Remember when Belding said that the next item you were going to help him cook was a “Jew-kebab?” Remember when you didn’t know what that was, but you assumed it must be good because Belding was a good cook? Remember when Belding told you to turn around a face the class and then he picked up a pipe wrench and smacked you over the head with it before you could react? Remember when he yanked off your Zubaz, dropped his pants, and inserted his huge erect middle aged penis into your rectum and said “hey everybody, I have a fresh piece of meat on my stick. This is a good Jew-kebab!!!” Remember how everyone was laughing and you looked over and saw that Zack’s dad and Mr. Dewey had walked into the classroom and Dewey was sucking off Zack’s dad? Remember when Kelly grabbed a frying pan and you thought she was going to smack Belding in the head and save you? Remember when she instead whacked you in the tailbone with the frying pan, causing great pain? Remember how everyone was laughing? Remember how there was a kitchen cabinet filled with bags of sugar, flour, and cereal above the stove in the kitchen classroom? Remember when the cabinet started wobbling and cracking? Remember when all of a sudden the entire foundation of the cabinet cracked as if under great stress and Mr. Tuttle crashed onto the open flame on the stove? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was furiously jerking off to your cries of pain? Remember when he rolled off the flame and smothered his burning skin by running his piping hot ass all over your face? Remember when he then sat down on your torso to rest because he was really fat and out of breath? Remember when your ribs shattered like pretzels under the pressure of Mr. Tuttle’s 500 lb frame? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at the popping sounds of your ribs splintering into little pieces? Remember how much everyone was masturbating as you turned blue and lost consciousness? Remember when you went into cardiac arrest and almost died? Remember when you were in a coma for three months? You sure learned about cooking in that episode!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
"The Sprang" Episode Recap
28th March 2007 - 12:15:42 AM
79871 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were Lisa Turtle’s dance partner in the dance contest at the Max? Remember when you danced “the sprang” with Lisa and beat out Zack and Slater in the contest and Kasey Kasim crowned you and Lisa as the winners? Remember how Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding were initially happy for you and Lisa because they felt sorry for Lisa who had sprained her ankle before the contest? Remember how you kept talking shit to Zack and Slater then next day at school telling them they totally sucked and you were the greatest dancer in the world, a modern day jewish MC Hammer on the dance floor? Remember when Slater and Zack asked you to show them some of your dance moves after school in your homeroom? Remember when you showed up at 3:15 after the final bell and Zack and Slater showed up a couple minutes later? Remember when they brought Mr. Belding with them? Remember when Slater asked you to show him some of your dance moves? Remember when you hopped around in a circle on one foot like a total retard and said, “watch me cut a rug, guys!!!” Remember when Slater said, “I’ll show you some moves” and then yanked off his pants, revealing black tights beneath? Remember when Slater popped a tape of Mexican restaurant music in boom box and hit the play button? Remember when Slater farted and it smelled like Doritos and you got turned on? Remember when Slater grabbed out and danced the lambada dirty dancing move with you? Remember when Slater kept rubbing his lumpy crotch against your scrawny body and you got really turned on? Remember when Belding said “my turn!” and then changed the tape to Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back” and said he was going to show you how to grind? Remember how you got excited and had a huge stupid grin on your face because you figured the Bayside gang had finally accepted you? Remember how less excited you were when you turned with your back to Belding and he punched you in the back and threw you down into a row of classroom seats? Remember when Belding then dropped his pants, grabbed you by the jewfro, and rubbed his huge middle-aged schlong against your lips and face? Remember when he said “how do you like my grind move, BITCH!!?” Remember when he shot his mammoth load down your throat and then threw you to the floor? Remember when Zack said “Screech, here’s the ‘running man’” and then did the running man dance right on your tiny nutsack, causing extreme discomfort? Remember when Zack said “Screech, lets do the limbo! Can you go under the limbo stick?” Remember when Zack pulled out a limbo stick and poked you in the nuts with it and then smacked you in your gonzo nose? Remember when Slater yanked off your Zubaz pants and Zack sodomized you with the limbo stick? Remember when you were in intense pain and then suddenly noticed a creaking sound coming from the ceiling tiles in the classroom? Remember when you thought that maybe an earthquake was occurring and that was the source of the creaking? Remember when all of a sudden Mr. Tuttle fell 12 feet from the ceiling tiles and landed on the floor? Remember r how his pants were off and his was rapidly masturbating to your cries of pain? Remember how Tuttle hit his head on a desk on the way down and was bleeding all over the place? Remember when the sight of Tuttle masturbating while laying in a puddle of his own blood turned on Slater? Remember when Slater then viciously raped you for the next 10 minutes until he pulled out and shot his spicy load in your jewfro? Remember when he finished and then hi-fived Belding and Zack and got up to leave you and your bloody and torn asshole to fend for yourself? Remember when Tuttle managed to get to a phone and called the police? Remember how relieved you were because you thought that Tuttle was going to tell the truth and end your daily suffering? Remember when Tuttle instead said that you hit him, causing his would, and then tried to rape him? Remember when you received two months of detection? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
79871 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were Lisa Turtle’s dance partner in the dance contest at the Max? Remember when you danced “the sprang” with Lisa and beat out Zack and Slater in the contest and Kasey Kasim crowned you and Lisa as the winners? Remember how Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding were initially happy for you and Lisa because they felt sorry for Lisa who had sprained her ankle before the contest? Remember how you kept talking shit to Zack and Slater then next day at school telling them they totally sucked and you were the greatest dancer in the world, a modern day jewish MC Hammer on the dance floor? Remember when Slater and Zack asked you to show them some of your dance moves after school in your homeroom? Remember when you showed up at 3:15 after the final bell and Zack and Slater showed up a couple minutes later? Remember when they brought Mr. Belding with them? Remember when Slater asked you to show him some of your dance moves? Remember when you hopped around in a circle on one foot like a total retard and said, “watch me cut a rug, guys!!!” Remember when Slater said, “I’ll show you some moves” and then yanked off his pants, revealing black tights beneath? Remember when Slater popped a tape of Mexican restaurant music in boom box and hit the play button? Remember when Slater farted and it smelled like Doritos and you got turned on? Remember when Slater grabbed out and danced the lambada dirty dancing move with you? Remember when Slater kept rubbing his lumpy crotch against your scrawny body and you got really turned on? Remember when Belding said “my turn!” and then changed the tape to Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back” and said he was going to show you how to grind? Remember how you got excited and had a huge stupid grin on your face because you figured the Bayside gang had finally accepted you? Remember how less excited you were when you turned with your back to Belding and he punched you in the back and threw you down into a row of classroom seats? Remember when Belding then dropped his pants, grabbed you by the jewfro, and rubbed his huge middle-aged schlong against your lips and face? Remember when he said “how do you like my grind move, BITCH!!?” Remember when he shot his mammoth load down your throat and then threw you to the floor? Remember when Zack said “Screech, here’s the ‘running man’” and then did the running man dance right on your tiny nutsack, causing extreme discomfort? Remember when Zack said “Screech, lets do the limbo! Can you go under the limbo stick?” Remember when Zack pulled out a limbo stick and poked you in the nuts with it and then smacked you in your gonzo nose? Remember when Slater yanked off your Zubaz pants and Zack sodomized you with the limbo stick? Remember when you were in intense pain and then suddenly noticed a creaking sound coming from the ceiling tiles in the classroom? Remember when you thought that maybe an earthquake was occurring and that was the source of the creaking? Remember when all of a sudden Mr. Tuttle fell 12 feet from the ceiling tiles and landed on the floor? Remember r how his pants were off and his was rapidly masturbating to your cries of pain? Remember how Tuttle hit his head on a desk on the way down and was bleeding all over the place? Remember when the sight of Tuttle masturbating while laying in a puddle of his own blood turned on Slater? Remember when Slater then viciously raped you for the next 10 minutes until he pulled out and shot his spicy load in your jewfro? Remember when he finished and then hi-fived Belding and Zack and got up to leave you and your bloody and torn asshole to fend for yourself? Remember when Tuttle managed to get to a phone and called the police? Remember how relieved you were because you thought that Tuttle was going to tell the truth and end your daily suffering? Remember when Tuttle instead said that you hit him, causing his would, and then tried to rape him? Remember when you received two months of detection? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
The "Jawbreakers" Episode recap
12th March 2007 - 09:23:02 PM
79790 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding took you to a drive-in movie for your birthday? Remember how he took you to see “The Birdcage”? Remember how much you enjoyed the movie because you are queer and you enjoyed the gay theme of the movie? Remember when Mr. Belding got out of his rusty station wagon and walked to the concession stand to get some candy? Remember when he got three huge boxes of Sno-Caps and a package of Jawbreakers candy? Remember when he ripped open the boxes of Sno-Caps and gobbled down about three pounds of Sno-Caps in about 15 seconds? Remember when he ripped open the package of Jawbreakers and started munching on them? Remember when you asked for a Jawbreaker? Remember when Mr. Belding said he ate the last one but that he had a “Ball Breaker” for you if you were interested? Remember how you had never heard of Ball Breakers, but you just assumed it must be some other kind of candy? Remember when you asked for a Ball Breaker and Mr. Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue? Remember when Mr. Belding reached over to the passenger’s side seat and punched you in the junk? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding smacked you in the groin with a tire jack that had been sitting under your seat? Remember when Mr. Tuttle peaked his head out from the back seat and you realized that he had been in the car the whole time waiting for this moment? Remember how vigorously he was masturbating to the sounds of your screams? Remember when Mr. Belding whipped out his massive schlong and shoved it into your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding and Tuttle both blew their loads at the same time into your jew-fro? Remember when they kicked you out of the car and left you for dead? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!!!!!!
79790 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding took you to a drive-in movie for your birthday? Remember how he took you to see “The Birdcage”? Remember how much you enjoyed the movie because you are queer and you enjoyed the gay theme of the movie? Remember when Mr. Belding got out of his rusty station wagon and walked to the concession stand to get some candy? Remember when he got three huge boxes of Sno-Caps and a package of Jawbreakers candy? Remember when he ripped open the boxes of Sno-Caps and gobbled down about three pounds of Sno-Caps in about 15 seconds? Remember when he ripped open the package of Jawbreakers and started munching on them? Remember when you asked for a Jawbreaker? Remember when Mr. Belding said he ate the last one but that he had a “Ball Breaker” for you if you were interested? Remember how you had never heard of Ball Breakers, but you just assumed it must be some other kind of candy? Remember when you asked for a Ball Breaker and Mr. Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue? Remember when Mr. Belding reached over to the passenger’s side seat and punched you in the junk? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding smacked you in the groin with a tire jack that had been sitting under your seat? Remember when Mr. Tuttle peaked his head out from the back seat and you realized that he had been in the car the whole time waiting for this moment? Remember how vigorously he was masturbating to the sounds of your screams? Remember when Mr. Belding whipped out his massive schlong and shoved it into your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding and Tuttle both blew their loads at the same time into your jew-fro? Remember when they kicked you out of the car and left you for dead? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!!!!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
"Belding and Screech's Camping Trip" episode recap
26th February 2007 - 11:08:28 PM
79655 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class when you and Mr. Belding went camping? Remember when Belding told you to expect something different on this camping trip? Remember how excited you were because Belding has up until that point sodomized you daily for the previous few years but never helped get you off? Remember how you were hoping that Belding would let you do him in the ass of at least give you a reach-around during your camping trip? Remember when you went to a forest preserve in the middle of summer? Remember how hot it was? Remember how sweaty and smelly Belding’s ass crack was? Remember when Belding sodomized you like always and you experienced rectal bleeding and immense pain, completely without pleasure? Remember when Belding pulled out and blew his load in your Jew Fro? Remember when Belding opened up a can of cake frosting and told you to lay down on your stomach? Remember when Belding rubbed the cake frosting all over your taint and hairless nut sack? Remember when you assumed he was going to toss your salad and lick the cake frosting off of your taint and you would enjoy it? Remember when he finished putting the frosting on your genitals and then picked you up and threw you in the direction of a giant beehive? Remember when bees smelled the frosting and flew in for an attack, viciously and painfully stinging your already sore and torn asshole, taint, and nut sack? Remember how hard Belding was laughing as you screamed for help? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked out of the woods and you realized he had been videotaping the entire event with his pants down? Remember when he set the video camera on a picnic table and started vigorously jerking off? Remember when the bee attack finally ended 15 minutes later when Belding walked over and farted on the bees, instantly killing them? Remember when Tuttle sold the video to National Geographic for thousands of dollars and the footage aired during a PBS episode shown during the Bayside Science classes the following semester? You sure got screwed over that time!
79655 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class when you and Mr. Belding went camping? Remember when Belding told you to expect something different on this camping trip? Remember how excited you were because Belding has up until that point sodomized you daily for the previous few years but never helped get you off? Remember how you were hoping that Belding would let you do him in the ass of at least give you a reach-around during your camping trip? Remember when you went to a forest preserve in the middle of summer? Remember how hot it was? Remember how sweaty and smelly Belding’s ass crack was? Remember when Belding sodomized you like always and you experienced rectal bleeding and immense pain, completely without pleasure? Remember when Belding pulled out and blew his load in your Jew Fro? Remember when Belding opened up a can of cake frosting and told you to lay down on your stomach? Remember when Belding rubbed the cake frosting all over your taint and hairless nut sack? Remember when you assumed he was going to toss your salad and lick the cake frosting off of your taint and you would enjoy it? Remember when he finished putting the frosting on your genitals and then picked you up and threw you in the direction of a giant beehive? Remember when bees smelled the frosting and flew in for an attack, viciously and painfully stinging your already sore and torn asshole, taint, and nut sack? Remember how hard Belding was laughing as you screamed for help? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked out of the woods and you realized he had been videotaping the entire event with his pants down? Remember when he set the video camera on a picnic table and started vigorously jerking off? Remember when the bee attack finally ended 15 minutes later when Belding walked over and farted on the bees, instantly killing them? Remember when Tuttle sold the video to National Geographic for thousands of dollars and the footage aired during a PBS episode shown during the Bayside Science classes the following semester? You sure got screwed over that time!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
A Carrot Top "Remember When" Story
http://clunt.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=15
Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigorously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!
Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigorously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The "Stand Up Comedy" episode recap
Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigoriously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
"Mr. Belding's Sleepover" Episode Recap
Screech, remember that time when Belding slept over in your room without your mom's permission? Remember when he slept naked in your bed with you after you two had sex? Remember when he took a shit before you two had sex but forgot to clean himself? Remember when he farted throughout the night and then snuck out the window the next morning? Remember how your whole bed and room reeked of Belding's ass? Remember how Belding left brown stains all over your sheets and one of your pillow cases? Remember how pissed off your mom was at you the next morning because your room smelled like a sewer? Belding's asshole really got you in trouble in that episode!
"Asteroids" episode recap
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took Slater, Zack, Mr. Tuttle, and you to the Max for dinner to celebrate Slater’s first place finish in the California state wrestling championship? Remember how the Max had a small arcade with Centipede and Frogger? Remember how you hated those games because you sucked at them? Remember when you complained to Belding and he replied “SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!” Remember when you started crying and everyone laughed at you and called you a stupid homo? Remember when Belding appeared to feel badly and put his arm around you and told you that the Max did have a new arcade game? Remember when your face lit up and you asked what the game was? Remember when he said it was Asteroids? Remember how you started grinning like an idiot because that was your favorite game? Remember when you asked where the Asteroids game was and Belding got up and told you to follow him? Remember how confused you became as Belding started walking toward the men’s bathroom? Remember when you asked Belding why he was walking to bathroom and he replied, “it’s hidden in the bathroom.” Remember when you naively believed him because he was your role model and you looked up to him? Remember how the bathroom smelled like a sewer when Belding opened the door because Slater had clogged up one of the toilets with chunks of shit because the Taco Bell he had eaten that day didn’t agree with his bowels? Remember when you didn’t see an Asteroids game in the bathroom and asked Belding where it was? Remember when slugged you in the gut and then threw you face-first at the bathroom mirror? Remember when he said, “you want to play Asteroids faggot? Go ahead DIPSHIT” and then threw you face first into the toilet that was filled with Slater’s turds? Remember when Belding said, “are you having fun avoiding the turds? How do you like my game of Asteroids?” Remember when Slater and Zack ran into the bathroom and dropped their pants? Remember when Zack tore off your Zubaz and ass raped you while Slater and Mr. Belding dropped deuces in your jew-fro? Remember when Tuttle walked into the bathroom and started jerking off to the sounds of your screams for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
"Screech's Dorm Room Repainting" Episode Recap
Screech, remember that episode from the college years where you put an ad in the school newspaper because you wanted to hire someone to repaint your room? Remember how you wanted someone to repaint your room dark red because that was the school color of the college’s Gay and Lesbian Society? Remember when you heard a knock at your door and opened it only to see Mr. Belding and Slater? Remember how shocked you were because you hadn’t seen Belding in a year and didn’t know why he was at your door? Remember when he said that he just happened to be in town and Slater had just taken him out to a nice greasy burrito fast food joint where he had scarfed down 15 burritos into his chunky body? Remember when he said he was here to paint your dorm room? Remember when he offered to do it for $200 and you quickly agreed? Remember when you asked if he was going to use a paintbrush or rollers and he replied that he would spray-paint your room? Remember when you said that was ok? Remember when you asked him to paint your room dark red and he said that was his intention? Remember when you asked where his paint supplies were and he said “don’t worry about it?” Remember when Slater handed Belding a gallon jug full of red cherry Kool-Aid? Remember when Belding downed the Kool-Aid in a minute and then dropped trow 10 minutes later? Remember when Belding bent over and grabbed his ankles and unleashed a torrent of smelly diarrhea from his asshole? Remember turned around in a 360 degree circle while spraying his diarrhea all over the room? Remember how his diarrhea had a reddish color due to the red cherry Kool-Aid he had just drunk? Remember how you were completely coated with his diarrhea, as was your Apple IIE computer? Remember when Belding asked for his $200 payment for spray-painting your room? Remember when you refused to pay? Remember when Belding grabbed you by your jewfro and slammed your head into the wall and then stole $300 from your wallet? Remember how you suffered a concussion from having your head slammed into the wall and later regained consciousness and discovered that Belding and Slater were pulling a train with you while Kelly was dropping a deuce on your bird chest? You sure got screwed over that time!
The "Humidifier" episode
Screech, remember that episode from the New Class where you were working in Belding's office as his assistant? Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you, as usual, at 9:30 AM that day and refused to give you a reach-around? Remember how it had been very fry lately and your skin felt irritated? Remember when you asked him for some moisturizer and Belding said "you want some moisturizer? Here it is, BITCH!" and then dropped his pants and jerked off into your face and blew his massive load onto your gonzo nose? Remember when you started crying so Belding slugged you in the nuts to shut you up and starting sticking random office supplies up your rectum? Remember when you wouldn't stop crying and Belding finally seemed to show some empahty toward you? Remember when he hugged you and told you he'd bring in a humidifier if that would make you feel better? Remember how good that made you feel, as Belding finally seemed like the father figure you'd always wanted?
Remember when when Belding left and then returned 15 minutes later with a humidifer filled with some kind of liquid? Remember when you asked what was in there, and he replied that it was the standard humidifier fluid? Remember how you automatically believed him because you didn't know anything about humidifiers? Remember when Belding turned the humidifier on and then ran out of the room and locked the door? Remember when you thought nothing of it and then started alphbetizing Belding's gay porn and other files in his office? Remember when Belding unlocked the door and walked in with Mr. Tuttle 2 hours later? Remember how they were wearing gas masks? Remember when you asked why they were dressed like that and they both fell over laughing? Remmeber when Belding told you that the liquid in the humidifer was HIV juice that he picked up at the local AIDS clinic? Remember when you quickly deduced that you had been breathing evaporated HIV juice for the past 2 hours? Remember when you rushed over the the nearby hospitcal and discovered you had contracted the deadly HIV virus and that you life expectancy had been reduced by about 30 years? Remember when you returned to Bayside and told Belding? Remember when he started laughing his ass off and then threw you up against a wall and kicked you in your tiny hairless balls with his dress shoes? Remember when he sodomized you with a softball bat and then picked you up and stuffed you into a dumpster behind the school with the rest of the garbage? Remember when the squirrels that lived in the dumpster became irate because you were invading their home? Remember when they started biting you and you contracted rabies? Remember when you slipped into a coma and suffered cardiac arrest later the next day due to an adverse reaction to the rabies? Remember when you remained int he coma for one week and lost 40% of your brain's mental capacity by the time you finally came out of it?
The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
Remember when when Belding left and then returned 15 minutes later with a humidifer filled with some kind of liquid? Remember when you asked what was in there, and he replied that it was the standard humidifier fluid? Remember how you automatically believed him because you didn't know anything about humidifiers? Remember when Belding turned the humidifier on and then ran out of the room and locked the door? Remember when you thought nothing of it and then started alphbetizing Belding's gay porn and other files in his office? Remember when Belding unlocked the door and walked in with Mr. Tuttle 2 hours later? Remember how they were wearing gas masks? Remember when you asked why they were dressed like that and they both fell over laughing? Remmeber when Belding told you that the liquid in the humidifer was HIV juice that he picked up at the local AIDS clinic? Remember when you quickly deduced that you had been breathing evaporated HIV juice for the past 2 hours? Remember when you rushed over the the nearby hospitcal and discovered you had contracted the deadly HIV virus and that you life expectancy had been reduced by about 30 years? Remember when you returned to Bayside and told Belding? Remember when he started laughing his ass off and then threw you up against a wall and kicked you in your tiny hairless balls with his dress shoes? Remember when he sodomized you with a softball bat and then picked you up and stuffed you into a dumpster behind the school with the rest of the garbage? Remember when the squirrels that lived in the dumpster became irate because you were invading their home? Remember when they started biting you and you contracted rabies? Remember when you slipped into a coma and suffered cardiac arrest later the next day due to an adverse reaction to the rabies? Remember when you remained int he coma for one week and lost 40% of your brain's mental capacity by the time you finally came out of it?
The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
The "April Fool's" Episode Recap
Screech, remember the “April Fool’s” episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you were a junior at Bayside and wore your glasses in the morning to Bayside? Remember how they were really thick and resembled Coke bottles? Remember how everyone would laugh at you when you wore them and call you names like “nerd” and “faggot?” Remember when you brought your contact lenses with you and stored them in your locker, intending to put your contact in just before your gym class during third period? Remember when Mr. Belding asked Milo the janitor to break into your locker because he wanted to switch your bottle of contact lens solution with a bottle of hydrochloric acid that was stored in a special bottle that looked just like your contact lens solution bottle? Remember when you took your contact lenses and the switched contact lens solution bottle with you as you headed to gym class? Remember when you changed into you gym clothes and headed over to the sink to put in your contacts? Remember when you squirted some of the solution into your right eye and felt a painful burning sensation as the hydrochloric acid burned away layers of tissue in your eye? Remember when you screamed out in pain just as Belding jumped out from behind the bathroom stall door and yelled “Gotcha! April Fool’s!!!” Remember how he turned bright red and was laughing very loudly? Remember when Zack, Slater, Moose, and I saw what had happened and all started laughing uncontrollably as you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Belding unzipped his pants, dropped his underwear, and started jerking off as he watched you writhing on the floor in severe pain? Remember when he said “here Screech, this will help," and then blew in load in your eye? Remember how that didn’t really help at all? Remember when Slater and Zack then proceeded to piss in your eye and the pain felt even more intense? Remember when you finally crawled over the toilet? Remember when you dunked your head into a toilet that Slater had just used five minutes earlier? Remember how he hadn’t flushed and you got chunks of his shit stuck in your eye but at least the burning sensation was gone?
Remember when you called an ambulance and were taken to the emergency room? Remember when you were rushed into surgery and the doctors had to remove your right eye and replace it with a glass eye? Remember when you dropped out of Bayside for the next three months and saw a psychiatrist to help you get over this traumatic experience? Remember when the psychiatrist convinced you that it would be helpful for you to confront Mr. Belding about what had happened? Remember when you finally agreed to do so and drove over to Bayside and told Belding that his prank cost you your right eye? Remember when Belding yelled out “FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!” and then threw a field hockey stick at your head, striking you in your huge nose? Remember when Belding lunged at you and ripped out your glass eye and then fucked your bare eye socket? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!
Remember when you called an ambulance and were taken to the emergency room? Remember when you were rushed into surgery and the doctors had to remove your right eye and replace it with a glass eye? Remember when you dropped out of Bayside for the next three months and saw a psychiatrist to help you get over this traumatic experience? Remember when the psychiatrist convinced you that it would be helpful for you to confront Mr. Belding about what had happened? Remember when you finally agreed to do so and drove over to Bayside and told Belding that his prank cost you your right eye? Remember when Belding yelled out “FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!” and then threw a field hockey stick at your head, striking you in your huge nose? Remember when Belding lunged at you and ripped out your glass eye and then fucked your bare eye socket? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!
Monday, September 18, 2006
The "Dog Attack" episode recap
Screech, remember that episode where you received your Bayside yearbook? Remember how you ran home and into your bedroom and immediately locked your bedroom door? Remember when you opened your yearbook to the picture of the Wrestling team? Remember when you sat down on your bed and saw the pictures of Slater and started jerking off with your tiny cock? Remember when you climaxed and some sperm shot out of your baby-sized dick? Remember how Hound Dog was lying down next to your bed at this time? Remember when the sperm flew over the edge of your bed and landed in Hound Dog’s fur? Remember how Hound Dog barked in disgust? Remember when you said “get out of here you stupid dog?” Remember when you opened your bedroom door and booted Hound Dog out the door? Remember your mom let Hound Dog outside 30 minutes later when she thought he had to go to the bathroom?
Remember when Hound Dog started howling? Remember when he howled for 10 minutes? Remember when you were getting sick of hearing the howling because you were having a difficult time concentrating while watching gay porn in your bedroom? Remember when you walked outside and started yelling at Hound Dog to shut up? Remember when a stray Doberman jumped at you out of the darkness when you got outside, knocking you over? Remember when a Pit Bull bit onto your Zubaz and Underoos, tearing them off? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog’s howling was some kind of signal for neighborhood dogs? Remember when Great Dane jumped at you and lodged its big doggie cock in your rectum? Remember when a couple Chihuahuas bit are your tiny balls with their little mouths? Remember when a Golden Retriever took a shit on your jew-fro? Remember when a poodle took a piss on your face? Remember when the Great Dane blew its doggie load in your ass and then backed away? Remember when a Siberian Husky inserted its cock into your rectum, painfully tearing it in the process? Remember how you were laying down on your stomach on the grass in your backyard at this time and the Huskie put its front paws on your shoulder blades and dug in with its claws, scratching your hard enough to draw blood? Remember when Hound Dog ran over and shoved its erect cock in your face and placed its front paws on the top of your jew-fro and started scratching the hell out of the top of your head? Remember when you started crying out in terror? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog might kill you unless you sucked it off?
Remember when Kevin the robot rolled out through the back door and the dogs scattered? Remember when you thought you were finally safe? Remember when you realized you were not safe when Kevin raped you with his metallic cock? You sure learned not to mess around with dogs and robots that time!
Remember when Hound Dog started howling? Remember when he howled for 10 minutes? Remember when you were getting sick of hearing the howling because you were having a difficult time concentrating while watching gay porn in your bedroom? Remember when you walked outside and started yelling at Hound Dog to shut up? Remember when a stray Doberman jumped at you out of the darkness when you got outside, knocking you over? Remember when a Pit Bull bit onto your Zubaz and Underoos, tearing them off? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog’s howling was some kind of signal for neighborhood dogs? Remember when Great Dane jumped at you and lodged its big doggie cock in your rectum? Remember when a couple Chihuahuas bit are your tiny balls with their little mouths? Remember when a Golden Retriever took a shit on your jew-fro? Remember when a poodle took a piss on your face? Remember when the Great Dane blew its doggie load in your ass and then backed away? Remember when a Siberian Husky inserted its cock into your rectum, painfully tearing it in the process? Remember how you were laying down on your stomach on the grass in your backyard at this time and the Huskie put its front paws on your shoulder blades and dug in with its claws, scratching your hard enough to draw blood? Remember when Hound Dog ran over and shoved its erect cock in your face and placed its front paws on the top of your jew-fro and started scratching the hell out of the top of your head? Remember when you started crying out in terror? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog might kill you unless you sucked it off?
Remember when Kevin the robot rolled out through the back door and the dogs scattered? Remember when you thought you were finally safe? Remember when you realized you were not safe when Kevin raped you with his metallic cock? You sure learned not to mess around with dogs and robots that time!
Screech, do you remember when your parents stole all your money?
Hey Screech, remember that episode where you dreamed you were a child star and that you had earned $2 million during your child acting career? Remember when you dreamed that your parents stole all your money? Remember when you dreamed that you almost lost your house to a foreclosure? Remember when it came true and you woke up from your dream and realized you were a dumpy washed-up former child star? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "homo" and a "shithead"? Remember when you paid a woman in Arby's Beef 'N Cheddars to pretend to be your wife and lie about the size of your penis? Remember when you went on the Howard Stern show begging for money and tried to force your few remaining fans into giving you money to pay for your extravagent mansion? You sure got screwed over that time!!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Remember When Screech's Parents Stole All of His Money?
Hey Screech, remember that episode where you dreamed you were a child star and that you had earned $2 million during your child acting career? Remember when you dreamed that your parents stole all your money? Remember when you dreamed that you almost lost your house to a foreclosure? Remember when it came true and you woke up from your dream and realized you were a dumpy washed-up former child star? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "homo" and a "shithead"? Remember when you paid a woman in Arby's Beef 'N Cheddars to pretend to be your wife and lie about the size of your penis? Remember when you went on the Howard Stern show begging for money and tried to force your few remaining fans into giving you money to pay for your extravagant mansion? You sure got screwed over that time!!
Thursday, June 08, 2006
"Kevin the Hall Monitor" Episode Recap
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding hired Kevin the Robot as a hall monitor? Remember how Kevin was your best friend in the whole wide world? Remember how Kevin was the only one who never mistreated you or ever tried to take advantage of you? Remember when Kevin saw you sharpening your #2 pencils in an electric pencil sharpener in Mr. Dewey’s classroom? Remember when Kevin became insanely jealous and thought you liked the electric pencil sharpener more than him? Remember how he decided to get even with you soon? Remember when you were in Mr. Tuttle’s class and asked if you could have a hall pass so you could go use the bathroom? Remember when you walked out into the hall toward the bathroom and were stopped by Kevin? Remember when you said “Hi Kevin”? Remember when Kevin informed you that you were in violation of school rules by being in the hall during class? Remember when you showed Kevin your hall passed and asked if you could just go to the bathroom? Remember when Kevin replied “BBBZZZTTT – Don’t get lippy with me, FAGGOT!!! BZZZT – That’s not a hall pass! Kevin will give you a hall pass!!! BZZTT!!” Remember when Kevin yanked off his Bayside sweatshirt, revealing a rapidly elongating metal rod in his groin area? Remember how the metal rod looked like a big dildo? Remember when Kevin then cut off your Zubaz with the saw in his left claw? Remember when Kevin lodged his metal rod in your butt and then bounced you up a down completely against your will while you cried out for help that never arrived? Remember when Kevin then knocked you onto the ground and unloaded his hot oily load into your jew-fro and said “BBZZTTT! How do you like Kevin’s hall pass, BITCH???” You sure learned not to wander in the halls that time!!!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The "Slater's Sausagefest" episode recap
Screech, remember that episode during your senior year at Bayside when the school was having an “Oktoberfest” festival to raise money for charity? Remember when the theme of the festival was a German celebration of the German festival, except that non-alcoholic beverages were served? Remember when you dressed up in a fruity German outfit like this loser in the picture on the left? Remember when Slater came up to you during the festival and invited you to a “sausage-fest” that was being held in his basement after the festival? Remember when you had never heard of a sausage-fest before, but you simply assumed it must be just another name for an Oktoberfest party? Remember when Slater told you to be sure not to change outfits before the sausage-fest? Remember when you rode your pink bike over to Slater’s house after the festival? Remember how everyone else drove, so by the time you arrived everyone else was already there? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Slater’s mom answered the door? Remember when she let you in and said that the sausage-fest was downstairs? Remember when Belding walked over to you from the kitchen? Remember how he was wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, but nothing else? Remember when his towel “accidentally” fell down, exposing his middle-aged genitalia? Remember when Mrs. Slater started staring at Belding’s rapidly hardening manhood? Remember when you quickly walked away over toward the stairs to the basement? Remember when you were halfway down the stairs and Belding called out for you and said “wait a minute, I have something for you, Screech?” Remember when you looked up just as Belding fired his “Principal of the Year” trophy at your head, hitting you and knocking you the rest of the way down the stairs? Remember when you looked up and were greeted by about 50 of your male classmates, all of whom were naked and horny? Remember when they raped the living crap out of you for the next 3 hours, dumping over 100 loads of STD-ridden semen in your butt and mouth and sodomizing you with Belding’s award? You really got screwed over that time!
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