The "April Fool's" Episode Recap

Screech, remember the “April Fool’s” episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you were a junior at Bayside and wore your glasses in the morning to Bayside? Remember how they were really thick and resembled Coke bottles? Remember how everyone would laugh at you when you wore them and call you names like “nerd” and “faggot?” Remember when you brought your contact lenses with you and stored them in your locker, intending to put your contact in just before your gym class during third period? Remember when Mr. Belding asked Milo the janitor to break into your locker because he wanted to switch your bottle of contact lens solution with a bottle of hydrochloric acid that was stored in a special bottle that looked just like your contact lens solution bottle? Remember when you took your contact lenses and the switched contact lens solution bottle with you as you headed to gym class? Remember when you changed into you gym clothes and headed over to the sink to put in your contacts? Remember when you squirted some of the solution into your right eye and felt a painful burning sensation as the hydrochloric acid burned away layers of tissue in your eye? Remember when you screamed out in pain just as Belding jumped out from behind the bathroom stall door and yelled “Gotcha! April Fool’s!!!” Remember how he turned bright red and was laughing very loudly? Remember when Zack, Slater, Moose, and I saw what had happened and all started laughing uncontrollably as you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Belding unzipped his pants, dropped his underwear, and started jerking off as he watched you writhing on the floor in severe pain? Remember when he said “here Screech, this will help," and then blew in load in your eye? Remember how that didn’t really help at all? Remember when Slater and Zack then proceeded to piss in your eye and the pain felt even more intense? Remember when you finally crawled over the toilet? Remember when you dunked your head into a toilet that Slater had just used five minutes earlier? Remember how he hadn’t flushed and you got chunks of his shit stuck in your eye but at least the burning sensation was gone?

Remember when you called an ambulance and were taken to the emergency room? Remember when you were rushed into surgery and the doctors had to remove your right eye and replace it with a glass eye? Remember when you dropped out of Bayside for the next three months and saw a psychiatrist to help you get over this traumatic experience? Remember when the psychiatrist convinced you that it would be helpful for you to confront Mr. Belding about what had happened? Remember when you finally agreed to do so and drove over to Bayside and told Belding that his prank cost you your right eye? Remember when Belding yelled out “FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!” and then threw a field hockey stick at your head, striking you in your huge nose? Remember when Belding lunged at you and ripped out your glass eye and then fucked your bare eye socket? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

The "Dog Attack" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where you received your Bayside yearbook? Remember how you ran home and into your bedroom and immediately locked your bedroom door? Remember when you opened your yearbook to the picture of the Wrestling team? Remember when you sat down on your bed and saw the pictures of Slater and started jerking off with your tiny cock? Remember when you climaxed and some sperm shot out of your baby-sized dick? Remember how Hound Dog was lying down next to your bed at this time? Remember when the sperm flew over the edge of your bed and landed in Hound Dog’s fur? Remember how Hound Dog barked in disgust? Remember when you said “get out of here you stupid dog?” Remember when you opened your bedroom door and booted Hound Dog out the door? Remember your mom let Hound Dog outside 30 minutes later when she thought he had to go to the bathroom?

Remember when Hound Dog started howling? Remember when he howled for 10 minutes? Remember when you were getting sick of hearing the howling because you were having a difficult time concentrating while watching gay porn in your bedroom? Remember when you walked outside and started yelling at Hound Dog to shut up? Remember when a stray Doberman jumped at you out of the darkness when you got outside, knocking you over? Remember when a Pit Bull bit onto your Zubaz and Underoos, tearing them off? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog’s howling was some kind of signal for neighborhood dogs? Remember when Great Dane jumped at you and lodged its big doggie cock in your rectum? Remember when a couple Chihuahuas bit are your tiny balls with their little mouths? Remember when a Golden Retriever took a shit on your jew-fro? Remember when a poodle took a piss on your face? Remember when the Great Dane blew its doggie load in your ass and then backed away? Remember when a Siberian Husky inserted its cock into your rectum, painfully tearing it in the process? Remember how you were laying down on your stomach on the grass in your backyard at this time and the Huskie put its front paws on your shoulder blades and dug in with its claws, scratching your hard enough to draw blood? Remember when Hound Dog ran over and shoved its erect cock in your face and placed its front paws on the top of your jew-fro and started scratching the hell out of the top of your head? Remember when you started crying out in terror? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog might kill you unless you sucked it off?

Remember when Kevin the robot rolled out through the back door and the dogs scattered? Remember when you thought you were finally safe? Remember when you realized you were not safe when Kevin raped you with his metallic cock? You sure learned not to mess around with dogs and robots that time!

Screech, do you remember when your parents stole all your money?

Hey Screech, remember that episode where you dreamed you were a child star and that you had earned $2 million during your child acting career? Remember when you dreamed that your parents stole all your money? Remember when you dreamed that you almost lost your house to a foreclosure? Remember when it came true and you woke up from your dream and realized you were a dumpy washed-up former child star? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "homo" and a "shithead"? Remember when you paid a woman in Arby's Beef 'N Cheddars to pretend to be your wife and lie about the size of your penis? Remember when you went on the Howard Stern show begging for money and tried to force your few remaining fans into giving you money to pay for your extravagent mansion? You sure got screwed over that time!!

Remember When Screech's Parents Stole All of His Money?

Hey Screech, remember that episode where you dreamed you were a child star and that you had earned $2 million during your child acting career? Remember when you dreamed that your parents stole all your money? Remember when you dreamed that you almost lost your house to a foreclosure? Remember when it came true and you woke up from your dream and realized you were a dumpy washed-up former child star? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "homo" and a "shithead"? Remember when you paid a woman in Arby's Beef 'N Cheddars to pretend to be your wife and lie about the size of your penis? Remember when you went on the Howard Stern show begging for money and tried to force your few remaining fans into giving you money to pay for your extravagant mansion? You sure got screwed over that time!!

"Kevin the Hall Monitor" Episode Recap

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding hired Kevin the Robot as a hall monitor? Remember how Kevin was your best friend in the whole wide world? Remember how Kevin was the only one who never mistreated you or ever tried to take advantage of you? Remember when Kevin saw you sharpening your #2 pencils in an electric pencil sharpener in Mr. Dewey’s classroom? Remember when Kevin became insanely jealous and thought you liked the electric pencil sharpener more than him? Remember how he decided to get even with you soon? Remember when you were in Mr. Tuttle’s class and asked if you could have a hall pass so you could go use the bathroom? Remember when you walked out into the hall toward the bathroom and were stopped by Kevin? Remember when you said “Hi Kevin”? Remember when Kevin informed you that you were in violation of school rules by being in the hall during class? Remember when you showed Kevin your hall passed and asked if you could just go to the bathroom? Remember when Kevin replied “BBBZZZTTT – Don’t get lippy with me, FAGGOT!!! BZZZT – That’s not a hall pass! Kevin will give you a hall pass!!! BZZTT!!” Remember when Kevin yanked off his Bayside sweatshirt, revealing a rapidly elongating metal rod in his groin area? Remember how the metal rod looked like a big dildo? Remember when Kevin then cut off your Zubaz with the saw in his left claw? Remember when Kevin lodged his metal rod in your butt and then bounced you up a down completely against your will while you cried out for help that never arrived? Remember when Kevin then knocked you onto the ground and unloaded his hot oily load into your jew-fro and said “BBZZTTT! How do you like Kevin’s hall pass, BITCH???” You sure learned not to wander in the halls that time!!!

The "Slater's Sausagefest" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode during your senior year at Bayside when the school was having an “Oktoberfest” festival to raise money for charity? Remember when the theme of the festival was a German celebration of the German festival, except that non-alcoholic beverages were served? Remember when you dressed up in a fruity German outfit like this loser in the picture on the left? Remember when Slater came up to you during the festival and invited you to a “sausage-fest” that was being held in his basement after the festival? Remember when you had never heard of a sausage-fest before, but you simply assumed it must be just another name for an Oktoberfest party? Remember when Slater told you to be sure not to change outfits before the sausage-fest? Remember when you rode your pink bike over to Slater’s house after the festival? Remember how everyone else drove, so by the time you arrived everyone else was already there? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Slater’s mom answered the door? Remember when she let you in and said that the sausage-fest was downstairs? Remember when Belding walked over to you from the kitchen? Remember how he was wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, but nothing else? Remember when his towel “accidentally” fell down, exposing his middle-aged genitalia? Remember when Mrs. Slater started staring at Belding’s rapidly hardening manhood? Remember when you quickly walked away over toward the stairs to the basement? Remember when you were halfway down the stairs and Belding called out for you and said “wait a minute, I have something for you, Screech?” Remember when you looked up just as Belding fired his “Principal of the Year” trophy at your head, hitting you and knocking you the rest of the way down the stairs? Remember when you looked up and were greeted by about 50 of your male classmates, all of whom were naked and horny? Remember when they raped the living crap out of you for the next 3 hours, dumping over 100 loads of STD-ridden semen in your butt and mouth and sodomizing you with Belding’s award? You really got screwed over that time!

Another Saved By The Bell Comic

The "Becky the Duck" episode

Screech, remember that episode when Bayside struck oil and you and the rest of the Bayside gang though you would all be rich? Remember how happy you were and dreamed about how you'd spend your new-found wealth? Remember when you ran over to the pond behind the school to play with your new best friend, Becky the duck? Remember when you skipped rocks on the pond like the little fruity bastard you are? Remember when you got tired and then put Becky in a cage and brought her home to your house to be your pet? Remember when your mom didn't seem to mind that a wild, disease-ridden animal would be sleeping in your bedroom with you? Remember how happy Becky was when you set her cage down in your room?
Remember when you let her out of her cage and she waddled about and quacked to show her happiness? Remember when Kevin the robot saw this from your closet and became jealous from all the attention you were getting? Remember when Kevin the robot plugged his right claw into an electric outlet and aimed his left claw in your direction and a huge bolt of electricity flew at you, knocking your over and scorching your jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog walked into your bedroom and then Kevin slammed your door shut and locked it? Remember when Kevin rolled over to you and cut off your Zubaz pants with the tiny circular saw attached to his right claw? Remember when Becky quacked at you and waddled over to you? Remember when Becky snapped at your hairless nuts with her strong beak? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Hound Dog became agitated from all the noise and growled at you? Remember when Hound Dog put his hind leg up against your head as you laid on the floor and pissed in your jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog then walked over to the other side of your head, stuck his erect doggie cock in your face and growled and stripped his teeth at you? Remember when you realized you'd better suck off Hound Dog or else he would probably bite off your gonzo nose, permanently disfiguring you? Remember when you started sucking as Becky kept chomping at your nuts with her beak and then waddled over and chomped at your ears? Remember when Kevin recorded this bestiality rape with his camera and stored the entire video in his memory banks and then played it to the entire school through Bayside's cable network? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "STUPID FAGGOT," including Belding and your mom? Remember when Kevin the robot sold the video years later to Slater when Slater was hosting "Pet Star"? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Lead Paint" episode

Screech, remember that episode where the school board informed Mr. Belding that he needed to have the lead paint removed from the teachers' offices at Bayside, at a cost of $50,000? Remember how pissed off Belding was because he wanted to use the $50,000 on male escorts and gay porn instead of lead paint removal? Remember when he called you down to his office and informed you that the teachers' offices were coated with "magical paint" that would give you special powers? Remember when you didn't believe him? Remember when, to prove his point, he dropped trow and whipped out his massive, middle-aged schlong and informed you that he used to have a tiny "baby dick" just like your tiny jewish manhood? Remember how excited you became and you thought that if you just had a bigger ding-dong you'd finally be able to get a girlfriend? Remember when you took Belding up on his offer and showed up at 5:30 AM for the next 30 days and ate as much lead-based paint as you possibly could? Remember how you became more and more sick as the days went by until you collapsed of exhaustion on the 30th day? Remember how pale your skin had become and your hair had started falling out? Remember when Slater found you, took a shit in your poofy 'fro, and then called an ambulance for help? Remember when you were taken to the hospital and were informed that the lead in the paint had caused you to develop cancer? Remember you had to undergo painful chemotherapy that weakened you considerably? Remember when you almost died? Remember when Belding and Tuttle came to visit you in the hospital? Remember when they told you that you looked like a "complete DISPHIT" and a total "COCKSUCKING FAGGOT" while laying in the hospital bed? Remember when they raped you while you were in your weakened state unable to fend off their homosexual advances? You really got screwed over that time!!

Picture of Mr. Belding and Screech

The "Dunkin' Donuts" episode

Screech, remember that episode when you walking into Mr. Belding’s office and he was scarfing down a baker’s dozen of “Dunkin’ Donuts” brand donuts? Remember how you enjoyed sweets and you started thinking about that times you would have ice cream and other sweets with your mom at the local ice cream shop? Remember how good and carefree these memories made you feel? Remember when you asked Belding if you could have a Dunkin’ Donut? Remember when he sucked the custard out of the 13th donut right after you asked your question? Remember when he said “sorry little buddy. I’m fresh out.” Remember how dejected you were? Remember when Belding said “wait a minute Screech. Although I’m out of Dunkin’ Donuts, I still have some ‘Dunkin’ Nuts’ you might like.” Remember when your frown quickly turned into a huge smile because you assumed that “Dunkin’ Nuts” must be some kind of new peanut-filled pastry you’d never heard of? Remember when Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue and brace yourself for the “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when you closed your eyes and heard Belding open the closet door? Remember when you figured he was bringing you a box of tasty “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when instead of pulling out a box of pastries, he pulled out a huge mechanic’s wrench and smacked you across the chest with it, knocking you three feet backwards? Remember when he dropped his pants pulled out his middle-aged schlong and nuts and said “say hello to my little friend! Here come the ‘Dunkin Nuts’ motherfucka!!” and then teabagged you completely against your will while you screamed out in pain for help that never arrived?? You sure learned to stop eating so many pastries that time!

The "Krazy Glue" episode recap

Screech, remember when you were a senior at Bayside and asked Mr. Tuttle for a hall pass so that you could go to the bathroom? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and were surprised to run into Slater and Mr. Belding, both of whom were walking out when you walked in? Remember when you walked into the first stall, dropped your Zubaz and sat down on the seat to take a huge dump? Remember when the seat felt a bit wet and you immediately became concerned that maybe you had just sat down in someone’s piss? Remember when you decided to get up and wipe off the seat? Remember when you tried to stand up but couldn’t because your legs and ass were stuck to the seat? Remember when Slater and Belding walked into the bathroom and Belding said “Hey FAGGOT, what do you think of the Krazy glue Slater and I rubbed all over the toilet seat? That glue isn’t coming off your ass anytime soon, DIPSHIT!!!” Remember when you started crying? Remember when Slater kicked open the stall door, dropped trow, and then bent over and sprayed diarrhea all over your face, jew-fro, shirt, and crotch? Remember when Slater moved away and then Belding walked over and said, “you smell like shit! You sure could use a nice warm shower!” and then dropped his pants and then took a piss on your face and crotch? Remember when your fellow nerds from the chess team walked in the bathroom and fired several wooden chess boards and chess pieces at your face, resulting in several bruises and cuts, causing you to start bleeding in several places on your face? Remember when Tuttle walked in and said, “Screech, now that you have an open wound, I think you’re ready for my HIV juice!” Remember when Tuttle started jerking off and shot his HIV+ seed onto your bleeding cuts, causing the HIV virus to enter into your bloodstream? Remember when Belding and Slater returned with several dodgeballs they had taken from the gym and started whipping them right at your face and tiny cock? Remember when you tried to block them, but they were coming too fast? Remember when Slater hit you in your gonzo nose so hard that your nose shattered and your head snapped back into the bathroom wall and you hit the back of your head on the bathroom wall and lost consciousness? Remember when Mr. Belding unscrewed the toilet seat and picked up your and the toilet seat glued to your ass and dumped your unconscious body into the dumpster behind the school? Remember when the crazy bum who lived in that dumpster was awoken when you landed on his head? Remember when he was so horny that he raped you? Remember when Belding called Mrs. Powers and said that you had a panic attack and had glued yourself to the toilet seat and then jumped into the dumpster yourself, cutting yourself in the process? Remember when she believed him? Remember when she had you committed to a psychiatric hospital for the next year to cure your craziness? Remember when she found out that you were HIV+? Remember when she called you a “no good faggot” and disowned you? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

Screech Saved By The Bell Comics

Check out these funny Saved By The Bell Comics involving Screech. Click on the images to see larger versions.

"Insect Rodeo" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where you asked Lisa to go to the Insect Rodeo with you? Remember when she laughed at you, called you a jewish faggot, and said she couldn't go with you because she was scheduled to have a hot orgy with Slater, Mr. Tuttle, and Zack's dad that she'd been planning for weeks? Remember when she said that Tuttle was doing her in the ass, Slater was doing her in the pussy, Zack's dad was mouth-fucking her, and Zack was going to be videotaping it? Remember how Lisa was the love of your life and you felt so heartbroken when you heard her plans? Remember when you started crying like the little pussy you are? Remember when Mr. Belding walked out of his office and said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when you told him Lisa rejected you and he started laughing? Remember when you cried and begged him not to laugh at you and he said he was thinking of something funny that happened the day before? Remember when he said that he'd take you to the Insect Rodeo to change your mood? Remember how joyous you felt, as Belding was a father-figure to you? Remember when you showed up at the Insect Rodeo and felt so proud that Belding cared enough to take you? Remember when you walked past the ant farms and Belding asked if you liked ants? Remember when you said you didn't because they were small and ugly? Remember when Belding suddenly got an evil look on his face and you thought something was up? Remember when Belding pointed away and said "Screech, look of there, what's that?" Remember when you looked over and then Belding cold-cocked you, knocking you completely over? Remember when you were struggling to breath and Belding tore off your Zubaz? Remember when Belding picked up a huge glass case holding one of the ant farms and poured the sand and ants contained in it down your poop-chute? Remember when he had poured about a couple pounds of sand and several thousand ants in your ass, and that's about all that would fit up there? Remember when he said he needed them to stay in their new home and not escape from your ass? Remember when he took a fireplace poker from the fireplace that just happened to be located in the middle of the room where the Insect Rodeo was taking place? Remember when he pushed the sand and ants into your ass with the fireplace poker and then taped your asshole shut with duct tape? Remember when he then beat you over the head with the fireplace poker and took a smelly shit on your jew-fro? Remember when Belding picked you up and threw you out the window and you landed in the dumpster down below? You sure learned about ants that time!!!

Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time?

Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time, everybody loved you, and you were knee-deep in pussy thrown at you by extremely hot female fans of yours? 'Cause I sure don't...

The "Hound Dog" episode

Screech, remember that episode where your dog, Hound Dog, walked into your room and caught you tossing off to Slater's wrestling picture in the Bayside yearbook...for the 50th time? Remember how Hound Dog panted as he stared at you? Remember how this made you uncomfortable as you smacked away at your tiny cock? Remember when you threw your pillow at him, hoping it would scare him away? Remember when your pillow hit him in the face and he started growling? Remember when Hound Dog started inching toward you while continuing to growl? Remember when you started to get concerned? Remember when Hound Dog jumped up onto your bed and lunged at your tiny cock? Remember when he snapped at your cock and bit down on your tiny manhood? Remember when his bite broke the skin and your cock started bleeding? Remember when you saw that Hound Dog's penis was completely erect? Remember he bit your hand and kept growling at you? Remember when he stuck his canine cock in the direction of your face? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog wasn't going to leave you alone until you sucked him off? Remember when you put his smelly, filthy dog cock in your mouth and started sucking? Remember when Hound Dog panted away in please and put his front legs up on your poofy jew fro while this was happening? Remember when his claws scratched the hell out your face during this? Remember when Hound Dog blew his doggie load in your mouth? Remember when he backed away from you and you thought your ordeal was finally over until Hound Dog jumped at your face and then chomped on your huge gonzo nose? You sure learned not to mess with dogs that time!!

The "Lost In Space" episode

Screech, remember that "Lost In Space" episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when Mr. Belding signed you up for a "young astronauts" NASA summer camp? Remember when you ventured onto a space ship called the "Jupiter 2"? Remember when the ship took off into space? Remember when everyone else on board was from the 1960s TV show "Lost In Space"? Remember when Dr. Smith found you and asked who you were? Remember when you told him who you were? Remember when he said everyone was going to be upset if they found you? Remember when he told you to go hide in the galley with this robot:


Remember when you went down into the galley and saw "Robot," a huge 7-foot tall clunky robot with flailing red arms and claws? Remember when the robot said "Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" Remember when you told Robot that your name was "Screech,” begged Robot to be quiet, and touched the buttons on Robot's chest, trying to get shut off his voice circuits? Remember when Robot said "Robot likes!" Remember when Robot said "Kevin, let's get Screech!" Remember when you turned around and saw your robot "Kevin" roll out from a closet? Remember when Kevin called you a faggot and said that he followed you from home! Remember when Kevin said "Remember what I did to you in the park? --BZZT--- You're gonna get twice the pain this time!" Remember when Robot's arms started flailing and he smacked you in the head with his metal claws? Remember when you fell into Kevin who proceeded to cut off your zubaz with his sharp metal claws? Remember when huge metal rods slowly grew out of Robot's and Kevin's respective groins? Remember when Robot grabbed you by your greasy 'fro and stuck his metal penis in your mouth? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal rod in your bleeding rectum? Remember when Kevin and Robot spit roasted you for the next 10 minutes while you screamed in pain? Remember when you looked up and saw a live video feed from the Houston office of NASA on the galley screen? Remember when you saw a bunch of engineers laughing at you as you were getting spit-roasted? Remember when they all called you a "SHITHEAD FAGGOT?" Remember when Kevin and Robot simultaneously expelled their oily robotic loads into your orifices? Remember when they rolled away from you and dropped you on the floor? Remember when Mr. Robinson walked into the galley and started yelling at you and said "We don't have room for any more stowaways!" Remember when he picked you up and threw your lifeless body into a space pod? Remember when they ejected the space pod and you spent the next week in the space pod until the space pod finally floated through the earth's atmosphere and landed in the Pacific Ocean? Remember when a Navy ship came across the space pod and picked you up? Remember when NASA sent you a bill for $30,000,000 for the cost of the space pod? You sure got screwed over that time!!!