"Screech's Best Halloween Ever" Episode Recap

25th October 2007 - 11:27:32 PM
85362 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that time when you were at Bayside on Halloween in 1991 and everyone except you was dressed up in a Halloween costume? Remember when Mr. Belding saw you in the hallway and was mad that you weren't dressed up in a costume? Remember when he called you into his office and dropped trou and then coated you with a nice diarrhea spray? Remeber when you heard a cracking sound and looked over and saw that one of the tall bookcases in Belding's office was wobblingand started to tip over? Remember when you looked up and saw that Mr. Tuttle was perched on top of the bookcase with his pants off masturbating and rapidly as he could? Remember when he fell onto the floor and the heavy wooden bookcase fell onto his right leg, snapping it in two places? Remember how Tuttle kept masturbating until he shot his load and passed out from the pain of his busted leg? Remember when Belding sent you back to class coated in his dairrhea? Remember when everyone thought you were dressed up as a turd and you won the Bayside costume contest? Even though the Bayside gang really screwed you over that time, that was still your best Halloween ever!

"Screech's Day In Court" Episode Recap

15th October 2007 - 01:29:16 PM
85234 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you complained to your parents that the male teachers and janitors at Bayside were violently raping you every day at school? Remember how your parents didn't seem to care? Remember when you informed your mom on the show that you had covertly taken a picture of her being spit roasted by Kevin the Robot and AC Slater and would send it to Hustler if she didn't press charges against the teachers? Remember when Mrs. Powers reluctantly agreed to bring the charges? Remember how you were called to testify in the State of California vs. Bayside High school? Remember when you got up on the stand and informed the courtroom about all of the times that Belding would spray diarrhea in your jew fro, piss on your face, and have unprotected buttsex you, completely against your will? Remember how everyone in the courtroom, including your mom and Mr. Carosi were laughing hysterically during your testimony until the judge pounded his gavel and demanded order in the court? Remember how the judge's name was Steven Gaylord and he was very liberal and openly gay? Remember how he had just transferred down to Santa Monica from a San Francisco courtroom after an incident in which a prosecutor had slipped and fallen on a puddle of HIV juice that had dripped out of the judge's asshole during a court recess?

Remember when Belding got up on the stand and admitted to having done everything that had stated in your testimony? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" several times? Remember how Belding's defense was that you were really annoying and that you made him mad? Remember when he pointed at you and said that he did all of those things to you to teach you a lesson and that the daily rapes were committed for your own good? Remember when you kept yelling "Zoinks!!!" and everyone in the courtroom was getting pissed at you? Remember when the judge ruled that Belding was well within his rights for violently sodomizing you? Remember when the judge rules that you had brought a frivolous lawsuit and hit you with monetary sanctions and a month in jail? Remember when how your cellmate was Slater's cousin, a leader of the Mexican Mafia prison gang? Remember when the gang burned you with cigarette butts and whored you out to the various homosexual inmates and guards? Remember when the judge had a conjugal visit with you two weeks into your sentence even though you didn't want one?

You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech Learns About Race Relations" Episode Recap

24th September 2007 - 03:04:18 PM

85048 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you ran into Milo the janitor in the bathroom and told him that he was "as dark as night"? Remember when you said that you could only see him when he smiled and the light shined off of his white teeth? Remember how funny you thought you were being? Remember how mad Milo became? Remember when you said "yo holmes, you gots ta chill" in your best ghetto voice? Remember when Milo grabbed you by the jew-fro and smashed your face into the bathroom mirror? Remember when Milo screamed, "yo sno-flake how you like dat? Yo goin ta pay now, mothafucka!" Remember when he dropped his pants and you were overcome by the nasty smell of his crotch, which he said he hadn't bathed in 3 weeks? Remember when Milo said, "Maybe I iz so dark because I iz dirty. You best clean me up!" and then made you lick clean his rank balls and asshole? Remember when he farted right in your face while your tongue was buried in his crotch? Remember when you thought you were going to throw up after 5 minutes of this and then Milo said, "Now you goin clean off my cock, bitch! Milo gots ta cum!!!!!" Remember when he shoved his cock right in your face? Remember how he was suffering from an outbreak of Herpes Simplex #2 and herpes juice was dripping all over your face and onto your torn Zubaz? Remember when he lodged his cock in your flesh tunnel and said "I gots ta rub da dirt off my cock, my jewish snoflake!" Remember when he tore your rectum in the process and you contracted several permanent STDs from his diseased cock? You sure learned about race relations in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Music" Episode Recap

10th September 2007 - 11:42:02 PM
84958 : Ox

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you were Mr. Belding's assistant and you were eating lunch in his office one day when he walked in? Remember how you were eating Spaghettio's and listening to your John Tesh album? Remember how mad Belding was when he heard the crappy John Tesh tunes emanating from his boom box? Remember when Mr. Belding yelled at you for soiling his office with crappy faggot music? Remember when lunged at you and smashed his forearm into your face, busting your hooked nose in the process? Remember when your blood spilled everywhere and Belding dropped trow? Remember when Slater, who wasn't even a student at Bayside at the time, walked out of Belding's closet and he was completely naked and fully erect? Remember when the fluorescent light that was hanging from the ceiling started wobbling back and forth? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle swinging from the ceiling light? Remember how his pants were off and he was masturbating as though he were in a race? Remember when one of the bolts securing the light to the ceiling snapped under the weight of his 400 lb frame? Remember when Tuttle came crashing down onto Belding’s desk and broke his hip? Remember how he screamed in pain, yet kept masturbating while Belding was anally violating you and Slater was taking a shit in your jew-fro? You sure learned a lesson about listening to shitty music in that episode!

"Screech Gets Tricked By Hound Dog" Episode Recap

26th August 2007 - 06:25:21 PM
84804 : Ox

Screech, remember that time when you were taking a shower and Hound Dog started barking? Remember when you thought that something was wrong and wrapped a towel around your waste and ran out of the shower to Hound Dog? Remember how Hound Dog had tricked you and there was no emergency? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of the closet behind you and grabbed your tiny zoinker with his metal claw? Remember when you cried "Zoinks!" in pain as Kevin dragged you across the floor and then Kevin extended his metal penis and announced "Bzzt! Kevin must drain oil! Bzzt!" Remember when Kevin inserted his cold metal penis in your jewish butthole and pounded away? Remember when Hound dog pissed right in your face and started scratching your jew-fro and then took a shit in it? Remember when Kevin blew his oilly robotic load with a force of 100 psi and you flew face-first into the wall, shattering your gonzo nose and your jaw? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech And His Apple IIe Computer" Episode Recap

09th July 2007 - 11:59:10 PM
84215 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode where you invited Mr. Belding over to your house to play Atari games on your Atari 2600? Remember when you played in your family room? Remember when you took a break from game play and let Kevin the Robot play against Mr. Belding in a game of Space Invaders? Remember when you claimed that your wrist needed a rest, but in reality your wanted to go blow a load because sitting next to Belding on your couch was turning you on? Remember when you were upstairs for a while and Kevin the Robot set a brand new all-time record at Space Invaders? Remember when Kevin was so excited that he rolled the stairs and opened the door to your bedroom? Remember when Kevin saw you with your pants down around your ankles as you were having sex with the little tiny holes in one of the serial ports on the back of your Apple IIe computer? Remember how jealous Kevin was because he liked uploading various files to that Apple IIe computer and you were supposed to be his sex toy? Remember when Belding walked into the room and was also upset because his enormous cock wasn�t in your asshole at that very moment? Remember when Belding got even with you by dropping his pants and then ripping an extremely nasty fart? Remember how Belding�s fart was extremely potent and had a density so large that you actually see the aurora borealis (the Northern Lights) through his fart cloud? Remember when you doubled over from the disgusting smell and Kevin rolled over and gave you a charge of 200 Volts to your big hooked Jew nose? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal cock into your brownpipe and Belding lodged his enormous cock into your mouth? Remember when Belding and Kevin spit roasted you? Remember when Kevin raised his claws up in the air and gave Belding a couple Hi-Fives? Remember when Kevin shot his oily robotic load with such force that it blew you out the window and you broke your neck? Remember when you ended up in the hospital in traction for two months? Kevin sure taught you a lesson about misusing your computer in that episode!

"Screech Learns to Cook" Episode Recap

03rd April 2007 - 12:42:46 AM
79900 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you took a cooking class during your senior year at Bayside? Remember when the teacher was Mr. Belding for some unknown reason and Zack, Slater, Lisa, Kelly, Jessie, and I were all in the class with you? Remember when I was called “Scud” in this episode and was a burnout, instead of being the jock “Ox.” Remember how that didn’t make any sense at all? Remember how you kept interrupting Mr. Belding when he was trying to show everyone how to cook steaks? Remember when you kept saying stupid things like “Zoinks” over and over again because you thought that was funny, even though nobody else did? Remember when Belding finally had enough and called you to the front of the class to have you help demonstrate how to make shish kebabs? Remember when Belding stuck a long stick into a few pieces of meat and cooked it over a flame at the stove? Remember when he let you ate a piece and told everyone how good it tasted? Remember how proud you were that Belding, your hero, was letting you help out in class? Remember when Belding said that the next item you were going to help him cook was a “Jew-kebab?” Remember when you didn’t know what that was, but you assumed it must be good because Belding was a good cook? Remember when Belding told you to turn around a face the class and then he picked up a pipe wrench and smacked you over the head with it before you could react? Remember when he yanked off your Zubaz, dropped his pants, and inserted his huge erect middle aged penis into your rectum and said “hey everybody, I have a fresh piece of meat on my stick. This is a good Jew-kebab!!!” Remember how everyone was laughing and you looked over and saw that Zack’s dad and Mr. Dewey had walked into the classroom and Dewey was sucking off Zack’s dad? Remember when Kelly grabbed a frying pan and you thought she was going to smack Belding in the head and save you? Remember when she instead whacked you in the tailbone with the frying pan, causing great pain? Remember how everyone was laughing? Remember how there was a kitchen cabinet filled with bags of sugar, flour, and cereal above the stove in the kitchen classroom? Remember when the cabinet started wobbling and cracking? Remember when all of a sudden the entire foundation of the cabinet cracked as if under great stress and Mr. Tuttle crashed onto the open flame on the stove? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was furiously jerking off to your cries of pain? Remember when he rolled off the flame and smothered his burning skin by running his piping hot ass all over your face? Remember when he then sat down on your torso to rest because he was really fat and out of breath? Remember when your ribs shattered like pretzels under the pressure of Mr. Tuttle’s 500 lb frame? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at the popping sounds of your ribs splintering into little pieces? Remember how much everyone was masturbating as you turned blue and lost consciousness? Remember when you went into cardiac arrest and almost died? Remember when you were in a coma for three months? You sure learned about cooking in that episode!

"The Sprang" Episode Recap

28th March 2007 - 12:15:42 AM
79871 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were Lisa Turtle’s dance partner in the dance contest at the Max? Remember when you danced “the sprang” with Lisa and beat out Zack and Slater in the contest and Kasey Kasim crowned you and Lisa as the winners? Remember how Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding were initially happy for you and Lisa because they felt sorry for Lisa who had sprained her ankle before the contest? Remember how you kept talking shit to Zack and Slater then next day at school telling them they totally sucked and you were the greatest dancer in the world, a modern day jewish MC Hammer on the dance floor? Remember when Slater and Zack asked you to show them some of your dance moves after school in your homeroom? Remember when you showed up at 3:15 after the final bell and Zack and Slater showed up a couple minutes later? Remember when they brought Mr. Belding with them? Remember when Slater asked you to show him some of your dance moves? Remember when you hopped around in a circle on one foot like a total retard and said, “watch me cut a rug, guys!!!” Remember when Slater said, “I’ll show you some moves” and then yanked off his pants, revealing black tights beneath? Remember when Slater popped a tape of Mexican restaurant music in boom box and hit the play button? Remember when Slater farted and it smelled like Doritos and you got turned on? Remember when Slater grabbed out and danced the lambada dirty dancing move with you? Remember when Slater kept rubbing his lumpy crotch against your scrawny body and you got really turned on? Remember when Belding said “my turn!” and then changed the tape to Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back” and said he was going to show you how to grind? Remember how you got excited and had a huge stupid grin on your face because you figured the Bayside gang had finally accepted you? Remember how less excited you were when you turned with your back to Belding and he punched you in the back and threw you down into a row of classroom seats? Remember when Belding then dropped his pants, grabbed you by the jewfro, and rubbed his huge middle-aged schlong against your lips and face? Remember when he said “how do you like my grind move, BITCH!!?” Remember when he shot his mammoth load down your throat and then threw you to the floor? Remember when Zack said “Screech, here’s the ‘running man’” and then did the running man dance right on your tiny nutsack, causing extreme discomfort? Remember when Zack said “Screech, lets do the limbo! Can you go under the limbo stick?” Remember when Zack pulled out a limbo stick and poked you in the nuts with it and then smacked you in your gonzo nose? Remember when Slater yanked off your Zubaz pants and Zack sodomized you with the limbo stick? Remember when you were in intense pain and then suddenly noticed a creaking sound coming from the ceiling tiles in the classroom? Remember when you thought that maybe an earthquake was occurring and that was the source of the creaking? Remember when all of a sudden Mr. Tuttle fell 12 feet from the ceiling tiles and landed on the floor? Remember r how his pants were off and his was rapidly masturbating to your cries of pain? Remember how Tuttle hit his head on a desk on the way down and was bleeding all over the place? Remember when the sight of Tuttle masturbating while laying in a puddle of his own blood turned on Slater? Remember when Slater then viciously raped you for the next 10 minutes until he pulled out and shot his spicy load in your jewfro? Remember when he finished and then hi-fived Belding and Zack and got up to leave you and your bloody and torn asshole to fend for yourself? Remember when Tuttle managed to get to a phone and called the police? Remember how relieved you were because you thought that Tuttle was going to tell the truth and end your daily suffering? Remember when Tuttle instead said that you hit him, causing his would, and then tried to rape him? Remember when you received two months of detection? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

The "Jawbreakers" Episode recap

12th March 2007 - 09:23:02 PM
79790 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding took you to a drive-in movie for your birthday? Remember how he took you to see “The Birdcage”? Remember how much you enjoyed the movie because you are queer and you enjoyed the gay theme of the movie? Remember when Mr. Belding got out of his rusty station wagon and walked to the concession stand to get some candy? Remember when he got three huge boxes of Sno-Caps and a package of Jawbreakers candy? Remember when he ripped open the boxes of Sno-Caps and gobbled down about three pounds of Sno-Caps in about 15 seconds? Remember when he ripped open the package of Jawbreakers and started munching on them? Remember when you asked for a Jawbreaker? Remember when Mr. Belding said he ate the last one but that he had a “Ball Breaker” for you if you were interested? Remember how you had never heard of Ball Breakers, but you just assumed it must be some other kind of candy? Remember when you asked for a Ball Breaker and Mr. Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue? Remember when Mr. Belding reached over to the passenger’s side seat and punched you in the junk? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding smacked you in the groin with a tire jack that had been sitting under your seat? Remember when Mr. Tuttle peaked his head out from the back seat and you realized that he had been in the car the whole time waiting for this moment? Remember how vigorously he was masturbating to the sounds of your screams? Remember when Mr. Belding whipped out his massive schlong and shoved it into your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding and Tuttle both blew their loads at the same time into your jew-fro? Remember when they kicked you out of the car and left you for dead? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!!!!!!

"Belding and Screech's Camping Trip" episode recap

26th February 2007 - 11:08:28 PM
79655 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class when you and Mr. Belding went camping? Remember when Belding told you to expect something different on this camping trip? Remember how excited you were because Belding has up until that point sodomized you daily for the previous few years but never helped get you off? Remember how you were hoping that Belding would let you do him in the ass of at least give you a reach-around during your camping trip? Remember when you went to a forest preserve in the middle of summer? Remember how hot it was? Remember how sweaty and smelly Belding’s ass crack was? Remember when Belding sodomized you like always and you experienced rectal bleeding and immense pain, completely without pleasure? Remember when Belding pulled out and blew his load in your Jew Fro? Remember when Belding opened up a can of cake frosting and told you to lay down on your stomach? Remember when Belding rubbed the cake frosting all over your taint and hairless nut sack? Remember when you assumed he was going to toss your salad and lick the cake frosting off of your taint and you would enjoy it? Remember when he finished putting the frosting on your genitals and then picked you up and threw you in the direction of a giant beehive? Remember when bees smelled the frosting and flew in for an attack, viciously and painfully stinging your already sore and torn asshole, taint, and nut sack? Remember how hard Belding was laughing as you screamed for help? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked out of the woods and you realized he had been videotaping the entire event with his pants down? Remember when he set the video camera on a picnic table and started vigorously jerking off? Remember when the bee attack finally ended 15 minutes later when Belding walked over and farted on the bees, instantly killing them? Remember when Tuttle sold the video to National Geographic for thousands of dollars and the footage aired during a PBS episode shown during the Bayside Science classes the following semester? You sure got screwed over that time!

A Carrot Top "Remember When" Story

http://clunt.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=15

Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigorously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!

The "Stand Up Comedy" episode recap

Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigoriously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!

"Mr. Belding's Sleepover" Episode Recap

Screech, remember that time when Belding slept over in your room without your mom's permission? Remember when he slept naked in your bed with you after you two had sex? Remember when he took a shit before you two had sex but forgot to clean himself? Remember when he farted throughout the night and then snuck out the window the next morning? Remember how your whole bed and room reeked of Belding's ass? Remember how Belding left brown stains all over your sheets and one of your pillow cases? Remember how pissed off your mom was at you the next morning because your room smelled like a sewer? Belding's asshole really got you in trouble in that episode!

"Asteroids" episode recap

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took Slater, Zack, Mr. Tuttle, and you to the Max for dinner to celebrate Slater’s first place finish in the California state wrestling championship? Remember how the Max had a small arcade with Centipede and Frogger? Remember how you hated those games because you sucked at them? Remember when you complained to Belding and he replied “SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!” Remember when you started crying and everyone laughed at you and called you a stupid homo? Remember when Belding appeared to feel badly and put his arm around you and told you that the Max did have a new arcade game? Remember when your face lit up and you asked what the game was? Remember when he said it was Asteroids? Remember how you started grinning like an idiot because that was your favorite game? Remember when you asked where the Asteroids game was and Belding got up and told you to follow him? Remember how confused you became as Belding started walking toward the men’s bathroom? Remember when you asked Belding why he was walking to bathroom and he replied, “it’s hidden in the bathroom.” Remember when you naively believed him because he was your role model and you looked up to him? Remember how the bathroom smelled like a sewer when Belding opened the door because Slater had clogged up one of the toilets with chunks of shit because the Taco Bell he had eaten that day didn’t agree with his bowels? Remember when you didn’t see an Asteroids game in the bathroom and asked Belding where it was? Remember when slugged you in the gut and then threw you face-first at the bathroom mirror? Remember when he said, “you want to play Asteroids faggot? Go ahead DIPSHIT” and then threw you face first into the toilet that was filled with Slater’s turds? Remember when Belding said, “are you having fun avoiding the turds? How do you like my game of Asteroids?” Remember when Slater and Zack ran into the bathroom and dropped their pants? Remember when Zack tore off your Zubaz and ass raped you while Slater and Mr. Belding dropped deuces in your jew-fro? Remember when Tuttle walked into the bathroom and started jerking off to the sounds of your screams for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

"Screech's Dorm Room Repainting" Episode Recap

Screech, remember that episode from the college years where you put an ad in the school newspaper because you wanted to hire someone to repaint your room? Remember how you wanted someone to repaint your room dark red because that was the school color of the college’s Gay and Lesbian Society? Remember when you heard a knock at your door and opened it only to see Mr. Belding and Slater? Remember how shocked you were because you hadn’t seen Belding in a year and didn’t know why he was at your door? Remember when he said that he just happened to be in town and Slater had just taken him out to a nice greasy burrito fast food joint where he had scarfed down 15 burritos into his chunky body? Remember when he said he was here to paint your dorm room? Remember when he offered to do it for $200 and you quickly agreed? Remember when you asked if he was going to use a paintbrush or rollers and he replied that he would spray-paint your room? Remember when you said that was ok? Remember when you asked him to paint your room dark red and he said that was his intention? Remember when you asked where his paint supplies were and he said “don’t worry about it?” Remember when Slater handed Belding a gallon jug full of red cherry Kool-Aid? Remember when Belding downed the Kool-Aid in a minute and then dropped trow 10 minutes later? Remember when Belding bent over and grabbed his ankles and unleashed a torrent of smelly diarrhea from his asshole? Remember turned around in a 360 degree circle while spraying his diarrhea all over the room? Remember how his diarrhea had a reddish color due to the red cherry Kool-Aid he had just drunk? Remember how you were completely coated with his diarrhea, as was your Apple IIE computer? Remember when Belding asked for his $200 payment for spray-painting your room? Remember when you refused to pay? Remember when Belding grabbed you by your jewfro and slammed your head into the wall and then stole $300 from your wallet? Remember how you suffered a concussion from having your head slammed into the wall and later regained consciousness and discovered that Belding and Slater were pulling a train with you while Kelly was dropping a deuce on your bird chest? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Humidifier" episode

Screech, remember that episode from the New Class where you were working in Belding's office as his assistant? Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you, as usual, at 9:30 AM that day and refused to give you a reach-around? Remember how it had been very fry lately and your skin felt irritated? Remember when you asked him for some moisturizer and Belding said "you want some moisturizer? Here it is, BITCH!" and then dropped his pants and jerked off into your face and blew his massive load onto your gonzo nose? Remember when you started crying so Belding slugged you in the nuts to shut you up and starting sticking random office supplies up your rectum? Remember when you wouldn't stop crying and Belding finally seemed to show some empahty toward you? Remember when he hugged you and told you he'd bring in a humidifier if that would make you feel better? Remember how good that made you feel, as Belding finally seemed like the father figure you'd always wanted?

Remember when when Belding left and then returned 15 minutes later with a humidifer filled with some kind of liquid? Remember when you asked what was in there, and he replied that it was the standard humidifier fluid? Remember how you automatically believed him because you didn't know anything about humidifiers? Remember when Belding turned the humidifier on and then ran out of the room and locked the door? Remember when you thought nothing of it and then started alphbetizing Belding's gay porn and other files in his office? Remember when Belding unlocked the door and walked in with Mr. Tuttle 2 hours later? Remember how they were wearing gas masks? Remember when you asked why they were dressed like that and they both fell over laughing? Remmeber when Belding told you that the liquid in the humidifer was HIV juice that he picked up at the local AIDS clinic? Remember when you quickly deduced that you had been breathing evaporated HIV juice for the past 2 hours? Remember when you rushed over the the nearby hospitcal and discovered you had contracted the deadly HIV virus and that you life expectancy had been reduced by about 30 years? Remember when you returned to Bayside and told Belding? Remember when he started laughing his ass off and then threw you up against a wall and kicked you in your tiny hairless balls with his dress shoes? Remember when he sodomized you with a softball bat and then picked you up and stuffed you into a dumpster behind the school with the rest of the garbage? Remember when the squirrels that lived in the dumpster became irate because you were invading their home? Remember when they started biting you and you contracted rabies? Remember when you slipped into a coma and suffered cardiac arrest later the next day due to an adverse reaction to the rabies? Remember when you remained int he coma for one week and lost 40% of your brain's mental capacity by the time you finally came out of it?

The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

The "April Fool's" Episode Recap

Screech, remember the “April Fool’s” episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you were a junior at Bayside and wore your glasses in the morning to Bayside? Remember how they were really thick and resembled Coke bottles? Remember how everyone would laugh at you when you wore them and call you names like “nerd” and “faggot?” Remember when you brought your contact lenses with you and stored them in your locker, intending to put your contact in just before your gym class during third period? Remember when Mr. Belding asked Milo the janitor to break into your locker because he wanted to switch your bottle of contact lens solution with a bottle of hydrochloric acid that was stored in a special bottle that looked just like your contact lens solution bottle? Remember when you took your contact lenses and the switched contact lens solution bottle with you as you headed to gym class? Remember when you changed into you gym clothes and headed over to the sink to put in your contacts? Remember when you squirted some of the solution into your right eye and felt a painful burning sensation as the hydrochloric acid burned away layers of tissue in your eye? Remember when you screamed out in pain just as Belding jumped out from behind the bathroom stall door and yelled “Gotcha! April Fool’s!!!” Remember how he turned bright red and was laughing very loudly? Remember when Zack, Slater, Moose, and I saw what had happened and all started laughing uncontrollably as you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Belding unzipped his pants, dropped his underwear, and started jerking off as he watched you writhing on the floor in severe pain? Remember when he said “here Screech, this will help," and then blew in load in your eye? Remember how that didn’t really help at all? Remember when Slater and Zack then proceeded to piss in your eye and the pain felt even more intense? Remember when you finally crawled over the toilet? Remember when you dunked your head into a toilet that Slater had just used five minutes earlier? Remember how he hadn’t flushed and you got chunks of his shit stuck in your eye but at least the burning sensation was gone?

Remember when you called an ambulance and were taken to the emergency room? Remember when you were rushed into surgery and the doctors had to remove your right eye and replace it with a glass eye? Remember when you dropped out of Bayside for the next three months and saw a psychiatrist to help you get over this traumatic experience? Remember when the psychiatrist convinced you that it would be helpful for you to confront Mr. Belding about what had happened? Remember when you finally agreed to do so and drove over to Bayside and told Belding that his prank cost you your right eye? Remember when Belding yelled out “FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!” and then threw a field hockey stick at your head, striking you in your huge nose? Remember when Belding lunged at you and ripped out your glass eye and then fucked your bare eye socket? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!