Ox's "Remember When" page

"Screech Tries Internet Dating" episode recap

2008-04-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that special Saved By The Bell episode from a couple years ago when you were getting really horny for some action? Remember how you decided that you were ready for your first heterosexual encounter of your life, after having experienced thousands of homosexual experiences, all of which were against your own free will? Remember how you signed up for match.com and emailed hundreds of women on that website? Remember how your primary profile picture was the one in Steinberg's avatar? Remember how nobody replied to your emails after they saw how ugly you looked? Remember how sad that made you feel? Remember when you rubbed one out to take your mind off things? Remember when you checked your email later that day and say an email from a woman who was using the login "chuckybutt_69"? Remember how that login made you laugh, as you assumed it must be a joke? Remember how the woman mentioned that you looked really sexy and that you must have gotten tons of action when you were in high school? Remember when you pitched a tent in your Zubaz pants because you were so excited? Remember how the woman wanted to meet you? Remember when she suggested that you meet her at a Burger King bathroom? Remember how that seemed like an odd place to meet, but you simply assumed that she was a total slut who just wanted you for your good looks and would probably play with your zoinker in the bathroom? Remember when you went over to the Burger King later that day and dressed in your favorite Zubaz sport coat and Converse hi tops? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and saw the back of what appeared to be a woman? Remember when she asked you to lock the door and you quickly did so? Remember how turned on you were? Remember how less turned on you were seconds later when the "woman" turned around and you realized it was actually Belding wearing a wig and women's clothing? Remember how you were so shocked that you couldn't move? Remember when Belding threw a haymaker at you, connecting his chubby fist with your boney cheek, sending you flying toward the door? Remember when Belding kicked you in the balls and then stomped on your chest until a couple ribs cracked? Remember when Belding took off his dress and revealed his massive cock? Remember when Belding grabbed you by the jew-fro and pulled your head back while violently inserting his horse cock in your zoink hole? Remember when Belding started thrusting in and out of your butthole with his cock, giving him much pleasure and you much pain? Remember when you looked over and saw that walls of the stall were rumbling loudly? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle sitting on top of one of the stall partitions? Remember how he was straddling the partition with his legs? Remember how he wasn't wearing any pants and was vigorously masturbating? Remember when the huge steel bolts securing the stall partition to the wall snapped due to Tuttle’s massive weight and the stall partition collapsed to the floor and Tuttle came crashing down face first onto the floor? Remember how he landed on his arm, snapping the humerus bone in his right arm? Remember how he kept masturbating anyway, despite his broken arm? Remember how Belding's attack continued for several minutes and then Belding and Tuttle snuck out and went home? Remember when a bum found you 30 minutes later and pissed on you? You sure learned about Internet dating in that episode!

"Saved By The Bell Hawaiian style" scene recap

2008-04-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that scene from Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style where you roomed with Kelly and Lisa at Kelly’s uncle’s hotel? Remember how AC Slater was going out with Jessie and those two love birds roomed together, and Zack was rooming with that girl that he met on the island? Remember how there was only one room left and you had to share it with Kelly and Lisa? Remember how excited you were when you discovered the rooming arrangements and you thought that you might be able to during on your charm and finally hook up with one of those girls? Remember when you got up to take a shower and sang that awful Bayside school song that you had written? Remember how you stuck your Suave brand shampoo bottle up your ass while taking your shower? Remember how good that felt? Remember when you finished your shower, got dressed, and then walked back over by the beds? Remember how you saw Lisa and Kelly dyking out on the bed? Remember how Lisa’s face was buried in Kelly’s crotch and she was eating out Kelly, who was moaning with pleasure? Remember when you said “Zoinks!” and dropped your towel and started jerking off with your small cock? Remember when you heard a slapping sound from the corner of the room and looked over and saw that Kelly’s grandfather was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room with his pants off and was tossing off? Remember when you looked behind the chair and saw that Chief Popakoo was standing up against the wall and was also masturbating vigorously? Remember when Kelly looked over and saw you watching her and said “get out of here, JEWISH FAGGOT PERVERT!!! Chief Popakoo and my grandpa paid me $20 apiece to watch my lesbo lovefest with Lisa, and you don’t get a free peepshow, you cocksucker!!!” Remember when the closet door swung open and Belding jumped out and smacked you in the face with some closet hangars? Remember when Belding kept whaling on your face and chest with the hangars? Remember when Chief Popakoo walked over and blew his load on your chest during Belding’s attack and then farted in your face? Remember how bad it smelled? Remember when the armour in the room started shaking and you looked over and the front doors broke off and a naked Mr. Tuttle rolled out onto the floor? Remember how his 54-inch waist pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how surprised you were to see Tuttle, because he didn’t even have an acting role in Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style? Remember when Belding and Kelly’s grandfather started spit-roasting you while Kelly and Lisa fingered themselves? Remember when Lisa, Kelly, Kelly’s grandfather, Belding, and Tuttle each had orgasms at the same time and then Chief Popakoo picked up and threw you out the third-story window into the dumpster down below? You sure had a shitty vacation that time!

"Lisa's Date With Screech" episode recap

2008-03-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode from the fourth season of Saved By The Bell when you asked out Lisa Turtle and she finally agreed to do so? Remember how that was the happiest day of your life and you were finally going to get your Nubian goddess? Remember when she told you that she was really horny for you and that she wanted you to pick her up at Friday night at her place because her parents were out of town? Remember how you ironed your best pair of Zubaz pants and rode your pink Schwinn bike over to Lisa Turtle’s house on that Friday evening? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Lisa answered the door in a nightgown? Remember when you saw her and exclaimed, “Zoinks!!!” Remember when Lisa said to walk upstairs and meet her in the bedroom for some playtime? Remember when you ran up the stairs and into her room? Remember how surprised you were when you walked through the doorway to her room and saw Kevin the Robot roll out of her closet? Remember how you had thrown Kevin the Robot in the garbage two years earlier after that episode when everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Kevin said that there were no hard feelings and that Lisa had fished him out of the county dump a year ago? Remember how relieved that made you feel? Remember when Lisa ran into her bedroom and started taking off your clothes? Remember how uncomfortable it made you that Lisa was doing this in front of Kevin the Robot? Remember when Lisa said to be quiet and no worry about it because Kevin was merely a robot? Remember when you were completely naked and Lisa saw your baby-sized zoinker? Remember how relieved you were when Lisa said that your penis was just right? Remember when Lisa said she wanted to get kinky and tie you up? Remember how excited that made you feel? Remember when she handcuffed each of your arms and legs to the bedposts and then started tickling you? Remember when she got naked and you saw her toned and dark body? Remember how incredibly turned on you were at this time? Remember how much less turned on you were seconds later when she put on a strap-on dildo and said she was going to fuck you with it? Remember when you asked her to stop and begged Kevin the Robot for help?

Remember when Kelly Kapowski walked out of Lisa’s closet at this moment and was naked? Remember how she had taco crumbs on her face and threw an empty bag of Taco Bell in the garbage can? Remember when you asked Kelly for help and she sat on your face? Remember when she farted right in your mouth and Lisa anally penetrated you with the strap-on dildo? Remember how Kelly took a shit in your face and wiped her ass clean with your jew fro while Lisa pounded away at your asshole with the dildo? Remember when Lisa got mad because your torn anus was bleeding onto her bed? Remember when you heard the gutters on Lisa’ roof violently shaking and looked out the window and saw a naked Mr. Tuttle dangling from the gutters, hanging to the gutters with one hand while masturbating vigorously with his other hand? Remember when the portion of the gutters from which Mr. Tuttle was dangling ripped from the roof and plummeted to the ground, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into Lisa’s room and said “Hey Hey Hey, what is going on here? “ Remember how Mr. Belding was naked and had a rock hard 12-inch cock? Remember when Belding told Lisa to stop fucking you with the dildo and then he inserted his enormous cock into your ass and pumped away for a couple minutes before filling you with HIV+ semen? Remember when they eventually let you go home to clean yourself up? Remember when you limped into your science class the following Monday and saw Kevin the Robot hooked up to the class’ VCR? Remember when Kevin started playing a tape of your anal violation that he had secretly taped at Lisa’s house? Lisa Turtle really got you good that time!

"AC Slater's Surprise Birthday Party" Episode Recap

2008-03-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

12th March 2008 - 12:57:48 AM
87270 : Ox

Screech, remember that time when you offered to have a surprise birthday party for AC Slater at your house? Remember how the entire Bayside gang, include Belding, Tuttle, and Milo the janitor were invited? Remember how Belding was going to barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs in your backyard? Remember when Zack and Jessie showed up early at your place and put some birthday cakes, hamburgers, hot dogs, and soda in your refrigerator? Remember when everyone except Salter and Zack had shown up at your place? Remember how everyone hid in your family room, waiting for Slater to lead Zack into the party? Remember how Belding had eaten Taco bell for lunch and really needed to use the bathroom? Remember how Lisa Turtle was in the bathroom at the time changing her tampon? Remember when you told Belding to walk through your kitchen and then up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor? Remember when you saw Belding walk into the kitchen and then heard the refrigerator door open? Remember how odd that seemed to you, but you just assumed he wanted to eat a couple cupcakes or something while taking a dump? Remember how, unbeknownst to you at the time, Belding opened the vegetable crisper drawer in your refrigerator and took a massive shit in it? Remember how he filled the crisper halfway to the top and then wiped his ass clean with a couple broccoli stalks and a head of lettuce? Remember when he closed the crisper drawer and the refrigerator and returned to the family room where everyone was still hiding?

Remember when Slater and Zack arrived at your front door about a minute later and opened the door? Remember when everyone yelled out "Surprise!" Remember how happy everyone was? Remember how less happy everyone was 5 minutes later when Kelly opened the refrigerator door and saw that all of the food had gone bad, apparently as a result of coming into contact with the toxic fumes from Belding's shit? Remember how Belding pretended to be shocked that the food had gone bad and claimed that the damage was caused by you because you had placed an uncovered glass of orange juice in there in the morning and probably stupidly messed with the temperature control? Remember how mad everyone was at you by this time? Remember when Hound Dog started barking at you and bit you in the knee? Remember when Kevin the Robot utter, "BZZT, let's get him and teach him a lesson! BZZT!" Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and tried to run away? Remember when Milo the Janitor clotheslined you with his arm and said "Milo done come here by bus, and Milo's gone git some jew food Biatch!" Remember when Milo pulled down your Zubaz and stuck his mop handle (which he apparently brought with him) deep into your rectum and then yanked it out and had unprotected buttsex with your torn asshole? Remember when Slater picked up the kitchen table and smashed it on your torso, breaking several ribs and nearly crushing your torso? Remember how you were in immense pain and begged for mercy? Remember when Kelly Kapowski made fun of your tiny cock, stomped on your kneecaps and then dropped a deuce on your busted birdchest? Remember when you looked over and saw that your kitchen cabinets were wobbling? Remember when the cabinets cracked in half and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how he was coated in Cheerios from a box that had apparently been in the cabinets with him? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when Belding went into your garage to retrieve your bocce ball set? Remember when Belding started whipping the heavy bocce balls at your junk? Remember how he missed your cock, due to its tiny size? Remember when one of the bocce balls hit you in the face, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up hours later and your mom was screaming at you for destroying her kitchen? Remember when you she kicked you in the junk for being such a bad son? You really got screwed over that time!

"Belding Teaches Screech About Love" episode recap

2008-02-20T21:05:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember when you fell in love with Belding during your senior year at Bayside? Remember how you would take the early bus to school and service his penis and ass needs every morning in his office? Remember that time that you snuck away from the lunch cafeteria at lunchtime to tell Belding you were in love with him? Remember when you opened the door to his office and saw Zack Morris' father in there sucking him off? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Belding said that you were unable to fully satisfy him, but that you shouldn't worry because he was "Down with O.P.P. " like the rap song by Naughty By Nature that was popular at the time? Remember when Belding said that he was allowed to have sex with other men, but that if you tried to cheat on him, he would murder you because you were his jewish gay sex slave? Remember when Belding came in Zack's dad's mouth? Remember when you kept crying and said that you didn't want to share him with anyone else? Remember how mad that made Belding and he ran to his desk and picked up a large stapler and threw it at your face? Remember when it hit you in your large crooked nose, breaking your nose and causing blood to spurt out? Remember how scared you were? Remember when you noticed a halogen lamp in the corner of the office that was slightly shaking? Remember when you looked closer and saw Mr. Tuttle jerking off while completely naked? Remember how Tuttle had camouflage paint to blend in with the various furniture in the office? Remember when you begged for help, but neither Zack's dad nor Tuttle would help you? Remember when Belding threw a tape dispenser on you and you fell to the ground? Remember when Belding tipped over his desk, causing it to fall right on your chest, trapping you on the floor? Remember when you heard a rib snap? Remember when you cried out that you couldn't breathe? Remember when that seemed to egg on Belding even more and he jumped onto the side of the desk in an effort to crush your chest? Remember when you heard a crashing sound and looked over and saw A.C. Slater drive into the office in Mr. Tuttle's Driver's Ed car? Remember how you thought that Slater was going to rescue you from the horrific attack? Remember how you quickly discovered that Slater was not going to help you when he drove the Driver's Ed car onto your face and slammed on the gas to make the tires spin on your face? Remember all the skin that was ripped off your face while the steel-belted tires spun? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at you? Remember when you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when you woke up months later in the nearby hospital and began a painful recovery from a shattered skull and ribs?

Belding really taught you the meaning of love in that episode!

"Screech Learns the Meaning of Love" Episode Recap

2008-02-20T01:44:00.000-08:00

20th February 2008 - 01:44:26 AM
86958 : Ox

Screech, remember when you fell in love with Belding during your senior year at Bayside? Remember how you would take the early bus to school and service his penis and ass needs every morning in his office? Remember that time that you snuck away from the lunch cafeteria at lunchtime to tell Belding you were in love with him? Remember when you opened the door to his office and saw Zack Morris' father in there sucking him off? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Belding said that you were unable to fully satisfy him, but that you shouldn't worry because he was "Down with O.P.P. " like the rap song by Naughty By Nature that was popular at the time? Remember when Belding said that he was allowed to have sex with other men, but that if you tried to cheat on him, he would murder you because you were his jewish gay sex slave? Remember when Belding came in Zack's dad's mouth? Remember when you kept crying and said that you didn't want to share him with anyone else? Remember how mad that made Belding and he ran to his desk and picked up a large stapler and threw it at your face? Remember when it hit you in your large crooked nose, breaking your nose and causing blood to spurt out? Remember how scared you were? Remember when you noticed a halogen lamp in the corner of the office that was slightly shaking? Remember when you looked closer and saw Mr. Tuttle jerking off while completely naked? Remember how Tuttle had camouflage paint to blend in with the various furniture in the office? Remember when you begged for help, but neither Zack's dad nor Tuttle would help you? Remember when Belding threw a tape dispenser on you and you fell to the ground? Remember when Belding tipped over his desk, causing it to fall right on your chest, trapping you on the floor? Remember when you heard a rib snap? Remember when you cried out that you couldn't breathe? Remember when that seemed to egg on Belding even more and he jumped onto the side of the desk in an effort to crush your chest? Remember when you heard a crashing sound and looked over and saw A.C. Slater drive into the office in Mr. Tuttle's Driver's Ed car? Remember how you thought that Slater was going to rescue you from the horrific attack? Remember how you quickly discovered that Slater was not going to help you when he drove the Driver's Ed car onto your face and slammed on the gas to make the tires spin on your face? Remember all the skin that was ripped off your face while the steel-belted tires spun? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at you? Remember when you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when you woke up months later in the nearby hospital and began a painful recovery from a shattered skull and ribs?

Belding really taught you the meaning of love in that episode!

"Screech Learns How to Ski" Episode Recap

2008-02-16T16:05:00.000-08:00

16th February 2008 - 04:05:56 PM
86913 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took you skiing? Remember how on the first day of skiing, Belding taught you how to ski on the bunny slopes and then you moved up to the intermediate slopes? Remember how nice Belding was being to you? Remember when Belding made love to you that evening and after filling your ass up with his cum, you embraced and fell asleep in bliss? Remember how Belding treated you to Taco Bell at the resort the next day for lunch? Remember when you ate 4 crunchy tacos and Belding ate 43 crunchy tacos, 15 taco supremes, and 7 orders of cinnamon twists? Remember how fatty taco grease was dripping down his face by the time he finished eating? Remember when Belding said it was time to take your skiing to the next level? Remember when he said it was time to ski on one of the advanced slopes? Remember when Belding took you to Mount Whitehead? Remember how Mount Whitehead was 2000 feet tall and had a couple cliffs? Remember how you were scared when you got off the ski lift and were at the top of the Mountain with Belding? Remember when you cried "Zoinks!" to express your fear? Remember when Belding told you to shut your yapper and that everything would be fine and that he would ski down first to show you it was safe? Remember when Belding skied like a rocket down the mountain, leaving a trail of flying snow in his wake? Remember when he got down to the bottom and yelled for you to go, but you hesitated because you were scared? Remember when Belding got mad and then dropped his pants for some reason? Remember how you thought it was funny that he was mooning you? Remember how much less funny you thought it was seconds later when you heard a rumbling sound and then Belding dropped ass? Remember how a massive brown cloud was unleashed from his asshole and it quickly enveloped the entire mountain? Remember when the snow turned brown and started melting? Remember when the snow at the top melted and the runoff quickly started zooming down the mountain and washed into a nearby lake? Remember how the water was so contaminated by the heavy metals and other toxins that were in Belding's fart that the geological area around the nearby lake was rendered uninhabitable for the next 50 years? Remember when the snow beneath your feet melted and you started tumbling down the mountain, smacking into rocks on the way down? Remember when you broke several ribs and shattered your pelvis on the way down? Remember when you finally reached the bottom and Belding was laughing really hard? Remember when you tried to yell "Zoinks!" but were unable to do so because the wind had been knocked out of you? Remember when Belding asked you if you had a nice trip? Remember when you started crying and Belding said he'd give you something to cry about as he started jagging you in the ass with his ski poles and then viciously raped you? Remember when you heard a "whoosh" sound and looked over and saw a large igloo zooming down the mountain? Remember how it was floating on top of the water from the melted snow? Remember when you saw Mr. Tuttle on top of the igloo with his pants rolled down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when the igloo reached the bottom and smacked right into a large tree at a speed of about 40 MPH? Remember when a tree branch pierced through Mr. Tuttle's chest and he started bleeding profusely? Remember how he kept masturbating instead of seeking immediately life-saving help? Remember when Tuttle ejaculated onto the side of the tree and then passed out and went into cardiac arrest? Remember when Belding blew a massive load up your ass and then got off you and walked over to the ski lodge? Remember when he blamed you for contaminating the lake and you were hit with a $10,000 fine from the EPA? You really learned about skiing in that episode!

"Screech learns about the ocean" recap

2008-02-13T21:03:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where you were walking along the beach holding hands with Mr. Belding after having serviced his penis and ass needs? Remember when Belding found a big shell on the ground and said that he could hear the ocean when he put it up to his ear? Remember when he threw it into the ocean and it broke into pieces? Remember when you started crying because you wanted to hear the ocean in the shell? Remember when you couldn't find another shell and kept crying like a little baby? Remember when Belding held you tightly and said everything would be ok and that he had an idea? Remember when he said that if you put your ear up against his asshole, you would be able to hear the ocean? Remember when you foolishly believed him? Remember when he pulled down his pants and you got in close? Remember when you couldn't hear anything and Belding said that was because you were too far away? Remember when you got about half an inch from Belding's asshole and hear a rumbling sound that didn't sound anything like the ocean? Remember when a split second later a diarrhea tsunami exploded out of Belding's ass and the force knocked you over? Remember how his fecal matter reached deep into your ear canal? Remember how Belding had eaten a large bag of peanuts the night before and his body had extreme difficulty digesting the peanuts? Remember when some undigested peanuts were in Belding's diarrhea and had sharp edges that pierced your eardrum causing permanent hear loss? Remember when blood started dripping out of your ear and Belding started laughing, calling you a "Stupid Faggot Jew Bastard!"? Remember when Belding started kicking you in the head and then yanked off your Zubaz swim trunks and started raping you and you cried for help? Remember when you looked over and saw a sand dune about 25 feet away that appeared to be shaking, as if an earthquake were occurring at that time? Remember when you saw Mr. Tuttle roll out of the sand dune? Remember how he was covered in sand and his pants were off and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when coughed and a cloud of sand emerged from his lungs, because he had apparently been hiding in the sand dune for some time waiting to jerk off to your eventual rape? Remember when Belding kept pounding away at your now torn asshole and then blew his massive STD-ridden load up your ass? Remember when Belding rested for a second and then began stomping on your head until you lost consciousness? Remember when you regained consciousness 2 hours later when a seagull went to the bathroom on your jew fro? You sure learned about the ocean that time!

"Screech Learns About Cars" Episode Recap

2008-02-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

08th February 2008 - 12:42:04 AM
86786 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode of Saved by The Bell: The New Class where you purchased your 1979 Gremlin automobile? Remember how rusty it was and was missing the back bumper? Remember how everyone would laugh you for driving such an old shitty car, but you didn’t care because it was your first set of wheels? Remember when you told Mr. Belding about your car and asked him to go for a ride? Remember how Belding had to put the passenger seat as far back as it would go to accommodate his ample frame? Remember when Belding asked if he could drive? Remember when you said it was ok and let him drive? Remember when Belding got behind the wheel and put on his seat belt and you did the same? Remember when Belding asked why you were wearing a seatbelt and told you that it was much more fun for passengers to not wear those constrictive seat belts? Remember how you heeded Belding’s advice because he was you hero? Remember when Belding slammed on the gas and started zooming down the street? Remember when Belding intentionally accelerated toward a large oak tree? Remember how sadistically Belding was laughing and said, “Get some, Screech!!! Get some of this, BITCH!!!!” Remember when Belding hit about 50 MPH when he smashed into the oak tree with the front end of the car directly in front of you? Remember when you were ejected from the Gremlin and smashed through the windshield, breaking your shoulder and spine on the way out? Remember how your body was a crumpled mess at this time and you tried to ask Belding for help, but couldn’t because you had a punctured lung? Remember when Belding dropped his pants and ripped a disgusting wet fart right in your face? Remember how bad it smelled, but you couldn’t move? Remember when Milo the janitor came running down the street with his mop and smacked you in the face and started stomping on your gonzo nose? Remember when Milo started sodomizing you with his mop handle? Remember when A.C. Slater appeared out of nowhere and yanked off your Zubaz and started raping you? Remember how odd it was because Slater wasn’t even on the New Class? Remember when he said that Pacific Blue was filming nearby and he heard the crash and got really horny when he saw you on the ground in pain? Remember when the branches on the tree started shaking and you looked up and saw several branches snap in half as Mr. Tuttle came crashing down from 25 feet up in the air and then smashed down onto the roof of your Gremlin, flattening the car like a pancake? Remember how Tuttle’s pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when he fired his cum into your jewfro and then passed out from massive blood loss? Remember when Belding grabbed your cum-drenched jewfro and then started throat fucking you? Remember how much that hurt because your neck was already broken? Remember when Belding blew a massive load in your mouth and then started hitting you with the branches that came down when Tuttle fell? Remember when he nearly poked your eye out and then everyone got up and left you for dead in a pool of blood and cum? Remember when you passed out and went into a coma for several weeks? Remember when Belding came to visit you in the hospital and ripped one right in your face and you came out of the coma? Remember when you looked over and saw that Tuttle was jerking off into your IV bag?

You sure learned about cars in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Plumbing" episode recap

2008-02-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding was embezzling money from Bayside to support his addiction to gay porn? Remember how Belding was stealing so much money that Bayside was being run on a shoestring budget? Remember when Mr. Tuttle ate a massive chicken, and several cobs of corn at lunch? Remember how Tuttle didn’t even chew all of the chicken and actually swallowed several bones? Remember when a couple hours later Tuttle suddenly had to take a massive shit? Remember when he ran to the Bayside bathroom and unleashed a massive shit log? Remember how one could see the chicken bones and undigested corn in Tuttle’s floater? Remember when Tuttle flushed the toilet and his massive shit load disappeared down the toilet pipe? Remember when the toilet suddenly started overflowing because Tuttle’s crap got stuck in a curve in the pipe? Remember when Milo the janitor tried to unclog the jam with a plunger but couldn’t pry it loose? Remember when Milo started to take apart the toilet, moving the porcelain part and leaving just a hole to a pipe in the ground? Remember when Milo said that the school would need to purchase a new cast iron section of pipe to replace the one with the clog? Remember how Belding knew that if he had to write a check for the expensive pipe, someone would be bound to notice the money he was skimming? Remember how Belding couldn’t let that happen and called you down to the bathroom to help? Remember how you assumed he was going to ask you for some advice on how to dislodge the feces based on your vast knowledge of the mathematical angles and curves that you learned in your Geometry class? Remember when Belding asked you to kneel down for a closer look? Remember when Belding and Mil suddenly grabbed your legs and forcefully shoved you face-first into the toilet pipe? Remember when they shoved your torso back and forth into the pipe as the brillo-like properties of your jew-fro knocked loose chunks of chit that were stuck to the sides of the pipe? Remember how you started to drown as your lungs began filling up with toilet water? Remember how you started to suffocate? Remember how they shoved your further into the pipe and you smacked head-first into something rock-hard? Remember how that was Tuttle’s massive turd?

Remember when they shoved your body down further and it dislodged the shit? Remember how you assumed that Belding and Milo would quickly pull you out so that you could breathe and expel the toilet water from your lungs? Remember when Belding and Milo grabbed your Zubaz and tore them off as you struggled to pull yourself out of the toilet pipe? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your butthole experienced painful anal stretching as Belding shoved his massive unlubed cock up your ass and started pounding away? Remember how while this was happening you felt intense burning pain on your zoinker? Remember when you later found out that Milo was lighting up cigars and putting them out on your tiny cock to celebrate the fixed toilet? Remember when Belding finally pulled out several minutes later and then went with Milo to his office to jerk off onto their yearbook photos of Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how they left you to fend for yourself and called the police? Remember when a police officer arrived at Bayside and Belding told the officer that you broke the toilet and then stuck your head in the pipe, causing thousands of dollars in damage? Remember when the policeman yanked your unconscious body out of the pipe and gave you a ticket? Remember when you woke up in the hospital months later and discovered that you had lost 35% of your intellectual capacity when you nearly drowned and stopped breathing? Remember when Bayside sued you for $2000 for damage to the bathroom?

You sure learned about plumbing that time!

"Screech Learns About Plumbing" Episode Recap

2008-02-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

04th February 2008 - 08:43:27 PM
86736 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding was embezzling money from Bayside to support his addiction to gay porn? Remember how Belding was stealing so much money that Bayside was being run on a shoestring budget? Remember when Mr. Tuttle ate a massive chicken, and several cobs of corn at lunch? Remember how Tuttle didn't even chew all of the chicken and actually swallowed several bones? Remember when a couple hours later Tuttle suddenly had to take a massive shit? Remember when he ran to the Bayside bathroom and unleashed a massive shit log? Remember how one could see the chicken bones and undigested corn in Tuttle's floater? Remember when Tuttle flushed the toilet and his massive shit load disappeared down the toilet pipe? Remember when the toilet suddenly started overflowing because Tuttle's crap got stuck in a curve in the pipe? Remember when Milo the janitor tried to unclog the jam with a plunger but couldn't pry it loose? Remember when Milo started to take apart the toilet, moving the porcelain part and leaving just a hole to a pipe in the ground? Remember when Milo said that the school would need to purchase a new cast iron section of pipe to replace the one with the clog? Remember how Belding knew that if he had to write a check for the expensive pipe, someone would be bound to notice the money he was skimming? Remember how Belding couldn't let that happen and called you down to the bathroom to help? Remember how you assumed he was going to ask you for some advice on how to dislodge the feces based on your vast knowledge of the mathematical angles and curves that you learned in your Geometry class? Remember when Belding asked you to kneel down for a closer look? Remember when Belding and Milo suddenly grabbed your legs and forcefully shoved you face-first into the toilet pipe? Remember when they shoved your torso back and forth into the pipe as the brillo-like properties of your jew-fro knocked loose chunks of chit that were stuck to the sides of the pipe? Remember how you started to drown as your lungs began filling up with toilet water? Remember how you started to suffocate? Remember how they shoved your further into the pipe and you smacked head-first into something rock-hard? Remember how that was Tuttle's massive turd?

Remember when they shoved your body down further and it dislodged the shit? Remember how you assumed that Belding and Milo would quickly pull you out so that you could breathe and expel the toilet water from your lungs? Remember when Belding and Milo grabbed your Zubaz and tore them off as you struggled to pull yourself out of the toilet pipe? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your butthole experienced painful anal stretching as Belding shoved his massive unlubed cock up your ass and started pounding away? Remember how while this was happening you felt intense burning pain on your zoinker? Remember when you later found out that Milo was lighting up cigars and putting them out on your tiny cock to celebrate the fixed toilet? Remember when Belding finally pulled out several minutes later and then went with Milo to his office to jerk off onto their yearbook photos of Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how they left you to fend for yourself and called the police? Remember when a police officer arrived at Bayside and Belding told the officer that you broke the toilet and then stuck your head in the pipe, causing thousands of dollars in damage? Remember when the policeman yanked your unconscious body out of the pipe and gave you a ticket? Remember when you woke up in the hospital months later and discovered that you had lost 35% of your intellectual capacity when you nearly drowned and stopped breathing? Remember when Bayside sued you for $2000 for damage to the bathroom?

You sure learned about plumbing that time!

"Screech Learns Not to Mess with Belding's Food" episode recap

2008-01-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where you were Belding’s assistant and you walked into his office while he was eating little Vienna sausages? Remember how turned on you were getting while he sucked down each of those little sausages? Remember how you wished that your tiny cock were in his mouth receiving oral pleasure from Belding, your father figure in life? Remember how hungry Belding still looked after eating the last Vienna sausage? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spiderman underwear and said, “Chief, I have another Vienna sausage for you.” Remember when Belding said, “Come over here Screech, let me take a look at it.” Remember when Belding grabbed your tiny cock and said, “Screech, I think this Vienna sausage is undercooked. I’d better warm it up a bit so that I don’t get worms!” Remember when Belding grabbed your scrawny leg with his left hand and pulled out a blowtorch with his right hand and placed the blue flame that was burning at 400+ degrees Fahrenheit onto your puny cock? Remember when you started crying and yelled, “ZOINKS!!!!!” Remember when Belding uttered his trademark “Ha Ha Ha!” laugh? Remember how this pain went on for 60 seconds, until you lost all sensation in your groin and your cock had been burnt to a crisp? Remember how Maxwell Nerdstrom was walking past Belding’s office at the time and remarked that your cock was as dark as Milo, although much smaller and not quite as smelly? Remember when Belding said, “Oops, I think I overcooked the Vienna sausage! I don’t want it anymore. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!” Remember when you kept crying and Belding said he would really give you something to cry about as he started viciously ass-raping you? Remember how you were leaning against the school intercom while this was going on and the whole school heard you being anally violated? Remember when you heard a commotion outside of Belding’s office and thought that your classmates were coming to your rescue? Remember when you looked into the hallway and saw the male student body? Remember how everyone was jerking off while watching you? Remember how upset that made you? Remember when you looked away in shame and out of the window? Remember when you saw someone on the window washing scaffolding? Remember how the person was Mr. Tuttle and his pants were down around his ankles as he masturbated vigorously? Remember when your burnt cock fell off a couple days later? Remember how hard everyone laughed at you when they found out that you were now cock-less?

You sure learned not to mess around with Belding’s food in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Vienna Sausages" Episode Recap

2008-01-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

25th January 2008 - 03:12:57 PM
86612 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were Belding's assistant and you walked into his office while he was eating little Vienna sausages? Remember how turned on you were getting while he sucked down each of those little sausages? Remember how you wished that your tiny cock were in his mouth receiving oral pleasure from Belding, your father figure in life? Remember how hungry Belding still looked after eating the last Vienna sausage? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spiderman underwear and said, "Chief, I have another Vienna sausage for you." Remember when Belding said, "Come over here Screech, let me take a look at it." Remember when Belding grabbed your tiny cock and said, "Screech, I think this Vienna sausage is undercooked. I'd better warm it up a bit so that I don't get worms!" Remember when Belding grabbed your scrawny leg with his left hand and pulled out a blowtorch with his right hand and placed the blue flame that was burning at 400+ degrees Fahrenheit onto your puny cock? Remember when you started crying and yelled, "ZOINKS!!!!!" Remember when Belding uttered his trademark "Ha Ha Ha!" laugh? Remember how this pain went on for 60 seconds, until you lost all sensation in your groin and your cock had been burnt to a crisp? Remember how Maxwell Nerdstrom was walking past Belding's office at the time and remarked that your cock was as dark as Milo, although much smaller and not quite as smelly? Remember when Belding said, "Oops, I think I overcooked the Vienna sausage! I don't want it anymore. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!" Remember when you kept crying and Belding said he would really give you something to cry about as he started viscously ass-raping you? Remember how you were leaning against the school intercom while this was going on and the whole school heard you being anally violated? Remember when you heard a commotion outside of Belding's office and thought that your classmates were coming to your rescue? Remember when you looked into the hallway and saw the male student body? Remember how everyone was jerking off while watching you? Remember how upset that made you? Remember when you looked away in shame and out of the window? Remember when you saw someone on the window washing scaffolding? Remember how the person was Mr. Tuttle and his pants were down around his ankles as he masturbated vigorously? Remember when your burnt cock fell off a couple days later? Remember how hard everyone laughed at you when they found out that you were now cock-less?

You sure learned not to mess around with Belding's food in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Gay Sex and Cars" Episode Recap

2008-01-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

21st January 2008 - 10:58:59 PM
86535 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you snuck into Mr. Beldings office and started rooting through his stash of gay porn magazines while he was watching gay porn with Mr. Dewey in the teacher's lounge while eating lunch? Remember when you pulled out your tiny cock and started masturbating? Remember when Belding walked into his office and was initially very upset and started yelling at you? Remember when you started crying and yelled "Zoinks!" and told Mr. Belding that you had to resort to gay porn because he would never give you a reach-around when having unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when Belding got a concerned look on his face and said he knew where you were coming from and said everything would be ok? Remember when you and Belding then shared a tender hug? Remember when Belding said that it was time for you to be the pitcher in anal sex? Remember when he told you to meet him in the Bayside garage after work for a buttsex lesson? Remember how you thought that was an odd place to meet, but you readily agreed anyway? Remember when you showed up after school in the garage and saw that Belding and A.C. Slater were already there? Remember when Belding said that A.C. Slater was going to help out and show you the ropes? Remember when you said that was cool with you? Remember when Belding told you that the best way to learn about anal penetration was to learn on a car exhaust pipe before inserting your penis into a guy's butthole? Remember when Slater pulled out a small tube of what he said was lube? Remember when Slater started squeezing the liquid out of the tube and onto the car exhaust pipe? Remember when Belding told you to insert your cock into the exhaust pipe and start thrusting? Remember when your tiny cock got really hard because you were so turned on? Remember when you dropped your Zubaz and Spider-man underwear and stuck your baby-sized erect cock into the exhaust pipe and tried moving around? Remember when you realized that you were stuck and couldn't move and yelled out "Zoinks! I'm stuck!"? Remember when Slater said, "that's because I lubed the exhaust pipe with Crazy Glue, you ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!" Remember when Belding opened the car door and turned on the engine, causing hot exhaust to exit through the exhaust pipe? Remember when you started crying because of the pain and begged Belding to stop? Remember when Belding put the car in Neutral and kept revving the engine, causing 300-degree exhaust to exit from the exhaust pipe? Remember when you got first-degree burns on your zoinker? Remember when Slater started ass-raping you while Belding was revving the engine? Remember when Belding kept uttering devilish laughs at your pain? Remember when the car started wobbling from side-to-side and then looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle rolling off the roof of the car and head-first onto a can of paint thinner on the garage floor? Remember when some of the paint thinner got into his eyes, painfully burning them? Remember how Tuttle's pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously despite the painful burning in his eyes?

You sure learned about gay sex and cars in that episode!

"Screech Learns About CB Radios" Episode Recap

2008-01-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

09th January 2008 - 09:18:13 PM
86374 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Radio Shack had a big sale and you purchased a CB radio? Remember how excited you were and you rode all the way home with your new CB radio sitting in the basket on the handlebars of your queer pink bike? Remember when you rushed upstairs to your room and plugged in the CB radio and hooked up the antenna? Remember how you decided to use the handle "Zoink Man" as your CB handle? Remember when you pushed the button on the side of the handle and said "Breaker 5-0! The Zoink Man is here on the line! Be aware there's a bear over on the I-5 South! Back off 10! Over!" Remember when you let go of the button on the handle and a trucker actually responded to your message? Remember when the trucker said, "This is Pig Pen on the I-5. SHUT THE FUCK UP ZOINK MAN!!! What is your CB license number?" Remember when you got scared and grabbed the handle again and pushed the button and said, "Breaker 5-0! The Zoink Man here again. Sorry guys! Over!" Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of your closet? Remember how the CB radio waves were interfering with Kevin's microprocessor and Kevin was really pissed off? Remember when Kevin grabbed the CB radio and unplugged it and said "Bzzt! Screech, you screwed up my memory functions, you jewish faggot! Bzzt!" Remember when Rod Belding climbed out from under your bed where he had apparently been hiding for days, waiting for the opportune time to crawl out and rape you? Remember how greasy Rod's mullet was? Remember when Rod punched you in the face and Kevin tore off your Zubaz with his metal claws? Remember when Kevin fired an ARC of about 100 Amps of current at your tiny ball sac, painfully burning your tiny balls? Remember when Kevin stuck his 12-inch long metal cock in your ass while Rod lodged his erect 11-inch member in your mouth? Remember when Hound Dog leapt off your bed and onto your back and peed on you? Remember how Rod and Kevin spit roasted you for 10 minutes, until your anal bleeding stained the floor? Remember when you heard a banging sound in your closet and looked over and Mr. Tuttle crashed through the wooden door? Remember how his pants were down and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how a 3-inch long wooden splinter severed an artery in his right leg when he smashed through the closet door? Remember when Tuttle blew his load shortly before passing out from lack of blood to his brain? Remember when Kevin shot his oily load up your ass and then rolled over, picked up your CB radio, and forcefully shoved it up your ass? You sure learned about CB radios in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Race Relations Again" Episode Recap

2007-12-27T11:04:00.000-08:00

27th December 2007 - 11:04:01 AM
86137 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode where you ran into Milo the janitor at supermarket across the street from Bayside? Is it true that you made fun of him because the only things he was purchasing were several cases of generic brand grape soda, ribs, and Cheetos? Remember when you said, "Milo, don't forget to add fruit to your typical negro meal - I saw some watermelon in aisle four for 39 cents a pound! Zoinks!" Remember when you thought that you were being hilarious and that Milo would appreciate your off-color joke? Remember when Milo replied, "I wuz saving dat watermelon for you, white chowder!" Remember when Milo pulled out the mop from his cart? Remember how odd you thought it was that Milo carried his mop with him into the supermarket? Remember when Milo said that his mop was his best friend, and that his mop was going to help him get some? Remember when Milo smacked you into a display case of Spaghettios cans, causing them to topple? Remember when Milo said, "I gots cleanup on aisle 3, BITCH! I best lay dat jewish soap on tha floor." Remember when he whacked you in your gonzo nose with the mop again, causing blood to spurt out, which he quickly mopped up? Remember when he threw a can of Spaghettios and your face, yelling "Uh oh, Spaghettios!" Remember when the can broke your eye socket and rendered you unconscious? Remember when you woke up in a puddle of blood and sperm in a hospital bed? Remember when you felt intense discomfort in your rectum and discovered that a watermelon was lodged up there? Remember how Milo was in the hospital room with you? Remember when Milo was telling the doctor that you went into a homosexual rampage at the supermarket and tried to steal a watermelon by shoving it up your ass? Milo sure taught you about race relations in that episode!

"Santa Clause Attacks Screech" Episode Recap

2007-12-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

20th December 2007 - 11:03:25 AM
86027 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Santa Clause broke into your house around Christmas? Remember how Santa was upset because you were Jewish and didn't have a chimney? Remember when Santa said he was supposed to come down the chimney and you screwed up everything and ruined his day? Remember when Santa attacked you and then had unprotected gay sex with you and blew a massive load in your butt? Remember how the attack was eerily reminiscent of a Belding's attack? Remember how much that turned you on? Remember when you yanked off Santa's hat and saw a pink yarmulke underneath? Remember when you discovered that the guy in the Santa suit was Neil Jewbergstein, your local rabbi and he was helping you celebrate the holidays? You sure learned about Hanukkah that time!

"Screech Learns About Science" episode recap

2007-12-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where you were in Mr. Dewey’s Chemistry class and were learning about the Ideal Gas Law, i.e., pV = nRT? Remember when you farted and yelled out “Zoinks!! That’s my ideal gas law!!! Zoinks! Zoinks!” Remember when nobody was laughing at you and Slater and Zack started pelting you with pennies from the back of the classroom? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, “Well Screech, since you’re the comedian, why don’t you come up to the front of the class and we’ll test out the Ideal Gas Law in action?” Remember when you walked up to the front of the class and then Mr. Dewey handcuffed you to the table and pulled down your Zubaz? Remember when you uttered, “What’s going on?” Remember when Mr. Dewey explained that in the Ideal Gas Law equation, p represents pressure, V represents volume, n in the amount of the substance in moles, R is the universal gas constant, and T is the absolute temperature? Remember when Mr. Dewey shoved your hairless beanbag into a small plastic box? Remember when Mr. Dewey hooked up a pressure gauge to your hairless beanbag in the box and said that the pressure on your tiny balls was 1.2 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when he shoved a thermometer into your little pee-hole and said that it read a temperature of 310 degrees Kelvin (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit)? Remember how the thermometer was large and tore the inner walls of your urethra? Remember when you screamed in pain and everyone started laughing hysterically?

Remember when Dewey said, “Let the games begin” and then pulled out a blowtorch? Remember when he adjusted the blowtorch so that a blue colored flame was being produced and then pointed the flame onto your zoinker, painfully burning your ballbag? Remember when Dewey said, “hey gang, the thermometer reads 435 degrees Kelvin (325 degrees Fahrenheit) and the volume of Screech’s scrotum is constant while in the box. So the elements V, n, and R of the equation are not changing. What is the pressure on Screech’s ballbag?” Remember how you coughing up blood at this point and were crying because the painful burning of your crotch? Remember when Jesse Spano raised her hand and said that because the temperature had increased by 40%, the pressure had to increase by the same amount and that therefore the pressure should be 1.68 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when Dewey checked the pressure gauge and said that Jesse was right? Remember when Dewey finally shut off the blowtorch and you looked down and saw that your balls were practically burnt to a crisp? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom said that the burnt cock was the came color as Milo the janitor? Remember how the burning of your balls resulted in much smoke, causing the fire alarm to go off? Remember when Dewey told everyone to head outside? Remember when you collapsed in pain? Remember when the fire marshal came to the school and found you in the classroom laying on the floor in pain? Remember when he said that you violated the fire code and gave you a $500 ticket? Remember when he said he’d teach you to obey the fire laws and then beat you over the head with his fire helmet and his partner inserted a fire hose into your ass and then turned it on full blast, causing you to land face-first into the blackboard? Remember when you broke your nose and then the firemen viciously assraped you? Remember when you a heard a rattling sound coming from the acid hood in the back of the room and then looked over and saw the entire hood collapse onto the floor and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how Tuttle was naked, masturbating vigorously, and was suffering internal bleeding as a result of the hydrochloric acid fumes he had inhaled while in the acid hood?

You sure learned about science in that episode!!

"Screech Learns About The Ideal Gas Law" Episode Recap

2007-12-13T01:21:00.000-08:00

13th December 2007 - 01:21:43 AM
85884 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were in Mr. Dewey’s Chemistry class and were learning about the Ideal Gas Law, i.e., pV = nRT? Remember when you farted and yelled out “Zoinks!! That’s my ideal gas law!!! Zoinks! Zoinks!” Remember when nobody was laughing at you and Slater and Zack started pelting you with pennies from the back of the classroom? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, “Well Screech, since you’re the comedian, why don’t you come up to the front of the class and we’ll test out the Ideal Gas Law in action?” Remember when you walked up to the front of the class and then Mr. Dewey handcuffed you to the table and pulled down your Zubaz? Remember when you uttered, “What’s going on?” Remember when Mr. Dewey explained that in the Ideal Gas Law equation, p represents pressure, V represents volume, n in the amount of the substance in moles, R is the universal gas constant, and T is the absolute temperature? Remember when Mr. Dewey shoved your hairless beanbag into a small plastic box? Remember when Mr. Dewey hooked up a pressure gauge to your hairless beanbag in the box and said that the pressure on your tiny balls was 1.2 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when he shoved a thermometer into your little pee-hole and said that it read a temperature of 310 degrees Kelvin (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit)? Remember how the thermometer was large and tore the inner walls of your urethra? Remember when you screamed in pain and everyone started laughing hysterically?

Remember when Dewey said, “Let the games begin” and then pulled out a blowtorch? Remember when he adjusted the blowtorch so that a blue colored flame was being produced and then pointed the flame onto your zoinker, painfully burning your ballbag? Remember when Dewey said, “hey gang, the thermometer reads 435 degrees Kelvin (325 degrees Fahrenheit) and the volume of Screech’s scrotum is constant while in the box. So the elements V, n, and R of the equation are not changing. What is the pressure on Screech’s ballbag?” Remember how you coughing up blood at this point and were crying because the painful burning of your crotch? Remember when Jesse Spano raised her hand and said that because the temperature had increased by 40%, the pressure had to increase by the same amount and that therefore the pressure should be 1.68 atmospheres of pressure? Remember when Dewey checked the pressure gauge and said that Jesse was right? Remember when Dewey finally shut off the blowtorch and you looked down and saw that your balls were practically burnt to a crisp? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom said that the burnt cock was the came color as Milo the janitor? Remember how the burning of your balls resulted in much smoke, causing the fire alarm to go off? Remember when Dewey told everyone to head outside? Remember when you collapsed in pain? Remember when the fire marshal came to the school and found you in the classroom laying on the floor in pain? Remember when he said that you violated the fire code and gave you a $500 ticket? Remember when he said he’d teach you to obey the fire laws and then beat you over the head with his fire helmet and his partner inserted a fire hose into your ass and then turned it on full blast, causing you to land face-first into the blackboard? Remember when you broke your nose and then the firemen viscously assraped you? Remember when you a heard a rattling sound coming from the acid hood in the back of the room and then looked over and saw the entire hood collapse onto the floor and Tuttle rolled out? Remember how Tuttle was naked, masturbating vigorously, and was suffering internal bleeding as a result of the hydrochloric acid fumes he had inhaled while in the acid hood?

You sure learned about science in that episode!!

"Screech Learns About Lizards" Episode Recap

2007-11-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

25th November 2007 - 07:32:20 PM
85612 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where A.C. Slater let you baby-sit Artie, his pet chameleon, for the weekend while he went out of town? Remember when you kept Artie in a shoebox and stupidly forgot to feed Artie for several days? Remember when you discovered that Artie had starved to death? Remember when you yelled out “Zoinks!” because you were afraid that Slater was going to give you a beating? Remember when you told Zack what had happened and he called you a “Stupid Cocksucking Jew”? Remember when you told Slater what happened and he started crying? Remember how everyone blamed you for what happened and everyone hated you worse than before? Remember when you tried to get some advice from Mr. Belding and he called you a murderer and told you to “Get the Fuck” out of his office? Remember when you cried and went home to be with your best friend in the world, Kevin the Robot? Remember when you told Kevin when happened and he said that you just need to get a good night sleep and everything would be ok in the morning? Remember how when you were sleeping, Kevin rolled over to Slater’s house and picked up Slater’s other chameleon, Bartie? Remember when Kevin rolled back to your house and into your room and let loose Bartie? Remember how Bartie was a gay chameleon? Remember how Bartie was only 6 inches long from head to tail, yet he had a bigger cock than you? Remember when Bartie slipped under the covers on your bed and into your Zubaz pajamas? Remember when Bartie crawled into your butthole and started squirming about? Remember when you yelled out “Zoinks!!!” Remember how much it hurt when Bartie moved because the scales on his body were painfully tearing your brownpipe? Remember when Kevin the Robot turned on your light and then shot an arc of 210 volts of electricity at your hairless groin? Remember when Becky the Duck flew through your bedroom window and took a huge shit into your eyes? Remember when Hound Dog attacked you as you tried to wipe out the duck shit? Remember when the oil executive from the “Oil Spill” episode jumped through your window because he had been hunting Becky, because he blamed Becky the Duck for the loss of the oil rights to the Bayside oil slick? Remember when the oil executive forgot about Becky once he saw you writhing on your bed in pain? Remember when Bartie ran out of your asshole and then started chomping on your tiny nuts? Remember how much better your asshole felt at this moment? Remember how much worse your asshole felt only seconds later when the oil executive said he had to dig a new well and then inserted his massive cock into your ass and started pounding away? Remember when the 50-foot tall oak tree outside of your window started shaking violently and then tipped over, becoming completely uprooted? Remember when the top of the tree crashed into your bedroom, leaving a gaping 15-foot hole in your ceiling? Remember when you saw that Mr. Tuttle was sitting on a branch near the top of the tree with his pants off, masturbating vigorously? Remember how a huge chunk of metal from the gutters that had ripped off when the tree toppled when lodged into Tuttle’s neck, creating a huge gash and causing massive blood loss? Remember when Tuttle blew his wad and then passed out from the blood loss? Remember how Slater and Zack were watching the entire night’s events unfold from Jessie’s house next door and were laughing their asses off? You sure learned about lizards in that episode!

"Mr. Belding's Answering Machine" Episode Recap

2007-11-13T12:52:00.000-08:00

13th November 2007 - 12:52:43 PM
85499 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode when Zack's dad stole Mr. Belding away from you, breaking your heart? Remember how you would leave long rambling messages on Belding's answering machine, in which you were sobbing and begging him to come back? Remember how Belding and Zack's dad used to listen to your tearful messages while jerking off? Remember how Belding had an old answering machine with cassette tapes? Remember when you left 10 messages one day and used up an entire side of the tape? Remember how mad Belding was he found out a few days later that he missed a booty-call with A.C. Slater because Slater was unable to leave a message on the machine because you had completely used up the tape? Remember when Belding decided to teach you a lesson? Remember when Belding made an announcement instructing you to report to the Principal's office? Remember when you walked out of class and skipped though the Bayside halls because you were so happy and assumed that Belding wanted you back and that you were probably going to have some hot sweaty make-up unprotected buttsex in his office? Remember when you opened the door and then Belding threw his answering machine at your face as hard as he could? Remember when his answering machine hit you in the cheek and left eye, puncturing your cornea? Remember when your left eye filled up with blood and you yelled out "Zoinks! Zoinks! Zoinks! Mr. B, I can't see!" Remember when Belding replied "Good, you little FAGGOT!" Remember when Belding said "Kevin, go fix Screech's eye"??? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of Belding's coat closet and grabbed you by the neck with his left claw and tore your bleeding eye out of its socket with his right claw? Remember how you were bleeding all over the place by now? Remember when Belding grabbed you by the jew-fro and started fucking your now empty eye socket? Remember how much the gushing warm blood turned him on? Remember when he blew a massive load in your eye with such force that snapped your head back, giving you whiplash? Remember when Kevin the Robot was stroking his metal cock with his claws and shot his own oily load onto your bird chest? Remember when you heard a cracking sound and looked over at the trophy display case in Belding's office and saw Mr. Tuttle on top of the display case masturbating vigorously with his pants down around his ankles? Remember when the top of the display case shattered and Tuttle came crashing down onto Belding's "Principal of the Year" trophy? Remember when the little metal man on top of Belding's trophy buried itself into Tuttle's rectum as he fell? Remember how much that excited Tuttle and his immediately shot his load and then passed out from massive blood loss second later due to the rectal tearing?

You sure learned not to mess with Mr. Belding's answering machine in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Video Games" Episode Recap

2007-11-07T00:34:00.000-08:00

07th November 2007 - 12:34:08 AM
85442 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were playing Ms. Pac-Man on Mr. Belding's Atari 2600? Remember when you got turned on watching the little yellow Ms. Pac-Man image move around the TV screen? Remember when you took off your Zubaz and inserted the joystick in your asshole and started jerking off? Remember when Belding walked in on you and started screaming at you for messing with his Atari? Remember when Belding gave you a karate kick to the throat and then tried to strangle you to death with the cord on the joystick? Remember when Belding started stomping on your tiny nuts with his cowboy boots and you started crying? Remember when you heard a clanking sound and looked up and saw the air conditioner vent in the ceiling snap in half and saw Mr. Tuttle dangling with one leg stuck in the vent while his pants were down and he was tossing off as though he were in a race? Remember when Tuttle fired his seed while he was hanging upside down? Remember when his load went two feet up in the air and landed down on his tongue? Remember when he raised his arms like an NFL referee and said “It’s good!! That’s three points for team Tuttle!” Remember how much this turned on Belding and Belding tore off your Zubaz? Remember when he stuck his massive cock in your jewish brownpipe? Remember when all of a sudden the chair behind Belding’s desk moved and Rod Belding crawled up from underneath the desk where he had been resting after sucking off his own brother, Dick Belding? Remember when Rod Belding gave a hi-five to Dick Belding and proceeded to spit-roast you? Remember how Rod and Dick pounded away at your bodily orifices for several minutes, causing you great discomfort? Remember when the Belding brothers both climaxed at the same time? Remember when Tuttle clapped to show his pleasure? Remember how Tuttle’s head was bright red by now, as all of the blood had rushed to his head as he continued to dangle upside down with his pants around his ankles? Remember when Rod and Dick Belding said “That really hit the spot, Screech! Thanks!” and then opened the window and fired you into the dumpster five feet below the window with the rest of the garbage? You sure learned about video games in that episode!

"Screech And The Bayside Band" Episode Recap

2007-11-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

04th November 2007 - 10:24:19 PM
85430 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you wanted to try out for the Bayside school's band, but weren't sure which instrument to play? Remember when you asked Mr. Belding for some advice? Remember when he said he would help you, but first asked you to help him tune his skin flute? Remember how your favorite movie was the "Smurfs and the Magic Flute," so you agreed to help him? Remember how you had never heard of a skin flute, but assumed it must be an exotic type of flute? Remember when you walked into Belding's office and saw Kevin the Robot in there? Remember when Kevin informed you that he had rolled all of the way over from your house? Remember when Belding asked you to lock the door to his office so he could show you his valuable skin flute? Remember when Belding suddenly dropped trow, revealing his enormous rock hard cock? Remember when Belding said, “Start tuning, BITCH!” Remember when you refused and Kevin pointed his claws at you and hit you with a 300-volt spark and said that there was more where that came from if you didn’t do what Belding said? Remember how scared you were and agreed to help Belding? Remember how happy that made Belding and he rewarded Kevin by pouring an entire can of 10w-40 motor oil into a hole at the top of Kevin’s head? Remember when you sucked on his cock for a few minutes until Belding said it was tuned? Remember when Belding then grabbed you by the jew-fro and launched you face-first into the edge of his desk? Remember when he ripped off your Zubaz and said he needed to oil up his skin flute with your anal oil so that it wouldn’t rust, and then viscously ass-raped you for the next 10 minutes until he shot his massive load up your shit pipe? Remember that while this was going on Kevin was massaging his metal cock with his claw and eventually unleashed his oily robotic load into your jew-fro? Remember how it took about a month to get the oil out of your jew-fro and your mom got mad at you for getting oil on your Zubaz pillow and ruining it? You sure learned about music in that episode!

"Screech's Best Halloween Ever" Episode Recap

2007-10-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

25th October 2007 - 11:27:32 PM
85362 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that time when you were at Bayside on Halloween in 1991 and everyone except you was dressed up in a Halloween costume? Remember when Mr. Belding saw you in the hallway and was mad that you weren't dressed up in a costume? Remember when he called you into his office and dropped trou and then coated you with a nice diarrhea spray? Remeber when you heard a cracking sound and looked over and saw that one of the tall bookcases in Belding's office was wobblingand started to tip over? Remember when you looked up and saw that Mr. Tuttle was perched on top of the bookcase with his pants off masturbating and rapidly as he could? Remember when he fell onto the floor and the heavy wooden bookcase fell onto his right leg, snapping it in two places? Remember how Tuttle kept masturbating until he shot his load and passed out from the pain of his busted leg? Remember when Belding sent you back to class coated in his dairrhea? Remember when everyone thought you were dressed up as a turd and you won the Bayside costume contest? Even though the Bayside gang really screwed you over that time, that was still your best Halloween ever!

"Screech's Day In Court" Episode Recap

2007-10-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

15th October 2007 - 01:29:16 PM
85234 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you complained to your parents that the male teachers and janitors at Bayside were violently raping you every day at school? Remember how your parents didn't seem to care? Remember when you informed your mom on the show that you had covertly taken a picture of her being spit roasted by Kevin the Robot and AC Slater and would send it to Hustler if she didn't press charges against the teachers? Remember when Mrs. Powers reluctantly agreed to bring the charges? Remember how you were called to testify in the State of California vs. Bayside High school? Remember when you got up on the stand and informed the courtroom about all of the times that Belding would spray diarrhea in your jew fro, piss on your face, and have unprotected buttsex you, completely against your will? Remember how everyone in the courtroom, including your mom and Mr. Carosi were laughing hysterically during your testimony until the judge pounded his gavel and demanded order in the court? Remember how the judge's name was Steven Gaylord and he was very liberal and openly gay? Remember how he had just transferred down to Santa Monica from a San Francisco courtroom after an incident in which a prosecutor had slipped and fallen on a puddle of HIV juice that had dripped out of the judge's asshole during a court recess?

Remember when Belding got up on the stand and admitted to having done everything that had stated in your testimony? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!!!!" several times? Remember how Belding's defense was that you were really annoying and that you made him mad? Remember when he pointed at you and said that he did all of those things to you to teach you a lesson and that the daily rapes were committed for your own good? Remember when you kept yelling "Zoinks!!!" and everyone in the courtroom was getting pissed at you? Remember when the judge ruled that Belding was well within his rights for violently sodomizing you? Remember when the judge rules that you had brought a frivolous lawsuit and hit you with monetary sanctions and a month in jail? Remember when how your cellmate was Slater's cousin, a leader of the Mexican Mafia prison gang? Remember when the gang burned you with cigarette butts and whored you out to the various homosexual inmates and guards? Remember when the judge had a conjugal visit with you two weeks into your sentence even though you didn't want one?

You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech Learns About Race Relations" Episode Recap

2007-09-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

24th September 2007 - 03:04:18 PM

85048 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you ran into Milo the janitor in the bathroom and told him that he was "as dark as night"? Remember when you said that you could only see him when he smiled and the light shined off of his white teeth? Remember how funny you thought you were being? Remember how mad Milo became? Remember when you said "yo holmes, you gots ta chill" in your best ghetto voice? Remember when Milo grabbed you by the jew-fro and smashed your face into the bathroom mirror? Remember when Milo screamed, "yo sno-flake how you like dat? Yo goin ta pay now, mothafucka!" Remember when he dropped his pants and you were overcome by the nasty smell of his crotch, which he said he hadn't bathed in 3 weeks? Remember when Milo said, "Maybe I iz so dark because I iz dirty. You best clean me up!" and then made you lick clean his rank balls and asshole? Remember when he farted right in your face while your tongue was buried in his crotch? Remember when you thought you were going to throw up after 5 minutes of this and then Milo said, "Now you goin clean off my cock, bitch! Milo gots ta cum!!!!!" Remember when he shoved his cock right in your face? Remember how he was suffering from an outbreak of Herpes Simplex #2 and herpes juice was dripping all over your face and onto your torn Zubaz? Remember when he lodged his cock in your flesh tunnel and said "I gots ta rub da dirt off my cock, my jewish snoflake!" Remember when he tore your rectum in the process and you contracted several permanent STDs from his diseased cock? You sure learned about race relations in that episode!

"Screech Learns About Music" Episode Recap

2007-09-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

10th September 2007 - 11:42:02 PM
84958 : Ox

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you were Mr. Belding's assistant and you were eating lunch in his office one day when he walked in? Remember how you were eating Spaghettio's and listening to your John Tesh album? Remember how mad Belding was when he heard the crappy John Tesh tunes emanating from his boom box? Remember when Mr. Belding yelled at you for soiling his office with crappy faggot music? Remember when lunged at you and smashed his forearm into your face, busting your hooked nose in the process? Remember when your blood spilled everywhere and Belding dropped trow? Remember when Slater, who wasn't even a student at Bayside at the time, walked out of Belding's closet and he was completely naked and fully erect? Remember when the fluorescent light that was hanging from the ceiling started wobbling back and forth? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle swinging from the ceiling light? Remember how his pants were off and he was masturbating as though he were in a race? Remember when one of the bolts securing the light to the ceiling snapped under the weight of his 400 lb frame? Remember when Tuttle came crashing down onto Belding’s desk and broke his hip? Remember how he screamed in pain, yet kept masturbating while Belding was anally violating you and Slater was taking a shit in your jew-fro? You sure learned a lesson about listening to shitty music in that episode!

"Screech Gets Tricked By Hound Dog" Episode Recap

2007-08-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

26th August 2007 - 06:25:21 PM
84804 : Ox

Screech, remember that time when you were taking a shower and Hound Dog started barking? Remember when you thought that something was wrong and wrapped a towel around your waste and ran out of the shower to Hound Dog? Remember how Hound Dog had tricked you and there was no emergency? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of the closet behind you and grabbed your tiny zoinker with his metal claw? Remember when you cried "Zoinks!" in pain as Kevin dragged you across the floor and then Kevin extended his metal penis and announced "Bzzt! Kevin must drain oil! Bzzt!" Remember when Kevin inserted his cold metal penis in your jewish butthole and pounded away? Remember when Hound dog pissed right in your face and started scratching your jew-fro and then took a shit in it? Remember when Kevin blew his oilly robotic load with a force of 100 psi and you flew face-first into the wall, shattering your gonzo nose and your jaw? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech And His Apple IIe Computer" Episode Recap

2007-07-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

09th July 2007 - 11:59:10 PM
84215 : Ox

Screech, do you remember that episode where you invited Mr. Belding over to your house to play Atari games on your Atari 2600? Remember when you played in your family room? Remember when you took a break from game play and let Kevin the Robot play against Mr. Belding in a game of Space Invaders? Remember when you claimed that your wrist needed a rest, but in reality your wanted to go blow a load because sitting next to Belding on your couch was turning you on? Remember when you were upstairs for a while and Kevin the Robot set a brand new all-time record at Space Invaders? Remember when Kevin was so excited that he rolled the stairs and opened the door to your bedroom? Remember when Kevin saw you with your pants down around your ankles as you were having sex with the little tiny holes in one of the serial ports on the back of your Apple IIe computer? Remember how jealous Kevin was because he liked uploading various files to that Apple IIe computer and you were supposed to be his sex toy? Remember when Belding walked into the room and was also upset because his enormous cock wasn�t in your asshole at that very moment? Remember when Belding got even with you by dropping his pants and then ripping an extremely nasty fart? Remember how Belding�s fart was extremely potent and had a density so large that you actually see the aurora borealis (the Northern Lights) through his fart cloud? Remember when you doubled over from the disgusting smell and Kevin rolled over and gave you a charge of 200 Volts to your big hooked Jew nose? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal cock into your brownpipe and Belding lodged his enormous cock into your mouth? Remember when Belding and Kevin spit roasted you? Remember when Kevin raised his claws up in the air and gave Belding a couple Hi-Fives? Remember when Kevin shot his oily robotic load with such force that it blew you out the window and you broke your neck? Remember when you ended up in the hospital in traction for two months? Kevin sure taught you a lesson about misusing your computer in that episode!

"Screech Learns to Cook" Episode Recap

2007-04-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

03rd April 2007 - 12:42:46 AM
79900 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you took a cooking class during your senior year at Bayside? Remember when the teacher was Mr. Belding for some unknown reason and Zack, Slater, Lisa, Kelly, Jessie, and I were all in the class with you? Remember when I was called “Scud” in this episode and was a burnout, instead of being the jock “Ox.” Remember how that didn’t make any sense at all? Remember how you kept interrupting Mr. Belding when he was trying to show everyone how to cook steaks? Remember when you kept saying stupid things like “Zoinks” over and over again because you thought that was funny, even though nobody else did? Remember when Belding finally had enough and called you to the front of the class to have you help demonstrate how to make shish kebabs? Remember when Belding stuck a long stick into a few pieces of meat and cooked it over a flame at the stove? Remember when he let you ate a piece and told everyone how good it tasted? Remember how proud you were that Belding, your hero, was letting you help out in class? Remember when Belding said that the next item you were going to help him cook was a “Jew-kebab?” Remember when you didn’t know what that was, but you assumed it must be good because Belding was a good cook? Remember when Belding told you to turn around a face the class and then he picked up a pipe wrench and smacked you over the head with it before you could react? Remember when he yanked off your Zubaz, dropped his pants, and inserted his huge erect middle aged penis into your rectum and said “hey everybody, I have a fresh piece of meat on my stick. This is a good Jew-kebab!!!” Remember how everyone was laughing and you looked over and saw that Zack’s dad and Mr. Dewey had walked into the classroom and Dewey was sucking off Zack’s dad? Remember when Kelly grabbed a frying pan and you thought she was going to smack Belding in the head and save you? Remember when she instead whacked you in the tailbone with the frying pan, causing great pain? Remember how everyone was laughing? Remember how there was a kitchen cabinet filled with bags of sugar, flour, and cereal above the stove in the kitchen classroom? Remember when the cabinet started wobbling and cracking? Remember when all of a sudden the entire foundation of the cabinet cracked as if under great stress and Mr. Tuttle crashed onto the open flame on the stove? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was furiously jerking off to your cries of pain? Remember when he rolled off the flame and smothered his burning skin by running his piping hot ass all over your face? Remember when he then sat down on your torso to rest because he was really fat and out of breath? Remember when your ribs shattered like pretzels under the pressure of Mr. Tuttle’s 500 lb frame? Remember how hard everyone was laughing at the popping sounds of your ribs splintering into little pieces? Remember how much everyone was masturbating as you turned blue and lost consciousness? Remember when you went into cardiac arrest and almost died? Remember when you were in a coma for three months? You sure learned about cooking in that episode!

"The Sprang" Episode Recap

2007-03-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

28th March 2007 - 12:15:42 AM
79871 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where you were Lisa Turtle’s dance partner in the dance contest at the Max? Remember when you danced “the sprang” with Lisa and beat out Zack and Slater in the contest and Kasey Kasim crowned you and Lisa as the winners? Remember how Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding were initially happy for you and Lisa because they felt sorry for Lisa who had sprained her ankle before the contest? Remember how you kept talking shit to Zack and Slater then next day at school telling them they totally sucked and you were the greatest dancer in the world, a modern day jewish MC Hammer on the dance floor? Remember when Slater and Zack asked you to show them some of your dance moves after school in your homeroom? Remember when you showed up at 3:15 after the final bell and Zack and Slater showed up a couple minutes later? Remember when they brought Mr. Belding with them? Remember when Slater asked you to show him some of your dance moves? Remember when you hopped around in a circle on one foot like a total retard and said, “watch me cut a rug, guys!!!” Remember when Slater said, “I’ll show you some moves” and then yanked off his pants, revealing black tights beneath? Remember when Slater popped a tape of Mexican restaurant music in boom box and hit the play button? Remember when Slater farted and it smelled like Doritos and you got turned on? Remember when Slater grabbed out and danced the lambada dirty dancing move with you? Remember when Slater kept rubbing his lumpy crotch against your scrawny body and you got really turned on? Remember when Belding said “my turn!” and then changed the tape to Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back” and said he was going to show you how to grind? Remember how you got excited and had a huge stupid grin on your face because you figured the Bayside gang had finally accepted you? Remember how less excited you were when you turned with your back to Belding and he punched you in the back and threw you down into a row of classroom seats? Remember when Belding then dropped his pants, grabbed you by the jewfro, and rubbed his huge middle-aged schlong against your lips and face? Remember when he said “how do you like my grind move, BITCH!!?” Remember when he shot his mammoth load down your throat and then threw you to the floor? Remember when Zack said “Screech, here’s the ‘running man’” and then did the running man dance right on your tiny nutsack, causing extreme discomfort? Remember when Zack said “Screech, lets do the limbo! Can you go under the limbo stick?” Remember when Zack pulled out a limbo stick and poked you in the nuts with it and then smacked you in your gonzo nose? Remember when Slater yanked off your Zubaz pants and Zack sodomized you with the limbo stick? Remember when you were in intense pain and then suddenly noticed a creaking sound coming from the ceiling tiles in the classroom? Remember when you thought that maybe an earthquake was occurring and that was the source of the creaking? Remember when all of a sudden Mr. Tuttle fell 12 feet from the ceiling tiles and landed on the floor? Remember r how his pants were off and his was rapidly masturbating to your cries of pain? Remember how Tuttle hit his head on a desk on the way down and was bleeding all over the place? Remember when the sight of Tuttle masturbating while laying in a puddle of his own blood turned on Slater? Remember when Slater then viciously raped you for the next 10 minutes until he pulled out and shot his spicy load in your jewfro? Remember when he finished and then hi-fived Belding and Zack and got up to leave you and your bloody and torn asshole to fend for yourself? Remember when Tuttle managed to get to a phone and called the police? Remember how relieved you were because you thought that Tuttle was going to tell the truth and end your daily suffering? Remember when Tuttle instead said that you hit him, causing his would, and then tried to rape him? Remember when you received two months of detection? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

The "Jawbreakers" Episode recap

2007-03-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

12th March 2007 - 09:23:02 PM
79790 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding took you to a drive-in movie for your birthday? Remember how he took you to see “The Birdcage”? Remember how much you enjoyed the movie because you are queer and you enjoyed the gay theme of the movie? Remember when Mr. Belding got out of his rusty station wagon and walked to the concession stand to get some candy? Remember when he got three huge boxes of Sno-Caps and a package of Jawbreakers candy? Remember when he ripped open the boxes of Sno-Caps and gobbled down about three pounds of Sno-Caps in about 15 seconds? Remember when he ripped open the package of Jawbreakers and started munching on them? Remember when you asked for a Jawbreaker? Remember when Mr. Belding said he ate the last one but that he had a “Ball Breaker” for you if you were interested? Remember how you had never heard of Ball Breakers, but you just assumed it must be some other kind of candy? Remember when you asked for a Ball Breaker and Mr. Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue? Remember when Mr. Belding reached over to the passenger’s side seat and punched you in the junk? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding smacked you in the groin with a tire jack that had been sitting under your seat? Remember when Mr. Tuttle peaked his head out from the back seat and you realized that he had been in the car the whole time waiting for this moment? Remember how vigorously he was masturbating to the sounds of your screams? Remember when Mr. Belding whipped out his massive schlong and shoved it into your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding and Tuttle both blew their loads at the same time into your jew-fro? Remember when they kicked you out of the car and left you for dead? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!!!!!!

"Belding and Screech's Camping Trip" episode recap

2007-02-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

26th February 2007 - 11:08:28 PM
79655 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class when you and Mr. Belding went camping? Remember when Belding told you to expect something different on this camping trip? Remember how excited you were because Belding has up until that point sodomized you daily for the previous few years but never helped get you off? Remember how you were hoping that Belding would let you do him in the ass of at least give you a reach-around during your camping trip? Remember when you went to a forest preserve in the middle of summer? Remember how hot it was? Remember how sweaty and smelly Belding’s ass crack was? Remember when Belding sodomized you like always and you experienced rectal bleeding and immense pain, completely without pleasure? Remember when Belding pulled out and blew his load in your Jew Fro? Remember when Belding opened up a can of cake frosting and told you to lay down on your stomach? Remember when Belding rubbed the cake frosting all over your taint and hairless nut sack? Remember when you assumed he was going to toss your salad and lick the cake frosting off of your taint and you would enjoy it? Remember when he finished putting the frosting on your genitals and then picked you up and threw you in the direction of a giant beehive? Remember when bees smelled the frosting and flew in for an attack, viciously and painfully stinging your already sore and torn asshole, taint, and nut sack? Remember how hard Belding was laughing as you screamed for help? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked out of the woods and you realized he had been videotaping the entire event with his pants down? Remember when he set the video camera on a picnic table and started vigorously jerking off? Remember when the bee attack finally ended 15 minutes later when Belding walked over and farted on the bees, instantly killing them? Remember when Tuttle sold the video to National Geographic for thousands of dollars and the footage aired during a PBS episode shown during the Bayside Science classes the following semester? You sure got screwed over that time!

A Carrot Top "Remember When" Story

2007-02-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

http://clunt.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=15

Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigorously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!

The "Stand Up Comedy" episode recap

2007-01-31T21:12:00.000-08:00

Carrot Top, remember that show in Reno Nevada where you came on the stage right after Dustin Diamond? Remember how pissed off the crowd was because Dustin Diamond's standup comedy act was awful and he stunk up the joint? Remember when you started doing your prop comedy but nobody was laughing because they were still pissed? Remember when you noticed Neal Hamburger behind the curtain behind you and he was pointing at Dustin Diamond? Remember when you figured out what Neal Hamburger wanted you to do? Remember when you ran up behind Dustin Diamond and tackled him? Remember when Neal Hamburger ran onto the stage and yanked off Dustin Diamond's zubaz pants? Remember when you and Neal Hamburger pulled a queer train with Dustin Diamond, with you in the back and Neal in the front of Dustin Diamond? Remember how the entire crowd was cheering you on and gave you a standing ovation? Remember when Mr. Tuttle from Saved By The Bell was sitting in the front row of the audience and he stood up and his pants fell down? Remember when he started vigoriously jerking off and shot his load across the stage? Remember when you and Neal lost several loads and then dumped Dustin Diamond at the side of the stage and continued with your prop comedy for another 45 minutes? You really put on a good show that time!!!!!

"Mr. Belding's Sleepover" Episode Recap

2006-11-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that time when Belding slept over in your room without your mom's permission? Remember when he slept naked in your bed with you after you two had sex? Remember when he took a shit before you two had sex but forgot to clean himself? Remember when he farted throughout the night and then snuck out the window the next morning? Remember how your whole bed and room reeked of Belding's ass? Remember how Belding left brown stains all over your sheets and one of your pillow cases? Remember how pissed off your mom was at you the next morning because your room smelled like a sewer? Belding's asshole really got you in trouble in that episode!

"Asteroids" episode recap

2006-11-25T09:06:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took Slater, Zack, Mr. Tuttle, and you to the Max for dinner to celebrate Slater’s first place finish in the California state wrestling championship? Remember how the Max had a small arcade with Centipede and Frogger? Remember how you hated those games because you sucked at them? Remember when you complained to Belding and he replied “SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!” Remember when you started crying and everyone laughed at you and called you a stupid homo? Remember when Belding appeared to feel badly and put his arm around you and told you that the Max did have a new arcade game? Remember when your face lit up and you asked what the game was? Remember when he said it was Asteroids? Remember how you started grinning like an idiot because that was your favorite game? Remember when you asked where the Asteroids game was and Belding got up and told you to follow him? Remember how confused you became as Belding started walking toward the men’s bathroom? Remember when you asked Belding why he was walking to bathroom and he replied, “it’s hidden in the bathroom.” Remember when you naively believed him because he was your role model and you looked up to him? Remember how the bathroom smelled like a sewer when Belding opened the door because Slater had clogged up one of the toilets with chunks of shit because the Taco Bell he had eaten that day didn’t agree with his bowels? Remember when you didn’t see an Asteroids game in the bathroom and asked Belding where it was? Remember when slugged you in the gut and then threw you face-first at the bathroom mirror? Remember when he said, “you want to play Asteroids faggot? Go ahead DIPSHIT” and then threw you face first into the toilet that was filled with Slater’s turds? Remember when Belding said, “are you having fun avoiding the turds? How do you like my game of Asteroids?” Remember when Slater and Zack ran into the bathroom and dropped their pants? Remember when Zack tore off your Zubaz and ass raped you while Slater and Mr. Belding dropped deuces in your jew-fro? Remember when Tuttle walked into the bathroom and started jerking off to the sounds of your screams for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

"Screech's Dorm Room Repainting" Episode Recap

2006-11-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode from the college years where you put an ad in the school newspaper because you wanted to hire someone to repaint your room? Remember how you wanted someone to repaint your room dark red because that was the school color of the college’s Gay and Lesbian Society? Remember when you heard a knock at your door and opened it only to see Mr. Belding and Slater? Remember how shocked you were because you hadn’t seen Belding in a year and didn’t know why he was at your door? Remember when he said that he just happened to be in town and Slater had just taken him out to a nice greasy burrito fast food joint where he had scarfed down 15 burritos into his chunky body? Remember when he said he was here to paint your dorm room? Remember when he offered to do it for $200 and you quickly agreed? Remember when you asked if he was going to use a paintbrush or rollers and he replied that he would spray-paint your room? Remember when you said that was ok? Remember when you asked him to paint your room dark red and he said that was his intention? Remember when you asked where his paint supplies were and he said “don’t worry about it?” Remember when Slater handed Belding a gallon jug full of red cherry Kool-Aid? Remember when Belding downed the Kool-Aid in a minute and then dropped trow 10 minutes later? Remember when Belding bent over and grabbed his ankles and unleashed a torrent of smelly diarrhea from his asshole? Remember turned around in a 360 degree circle while spraying his diarrhea all over the room? Remember how his diarrhea had a reddish color due to the red cherry Kool-Aid he had just drunk? Remember how you were completely coated with his diarrhea, as was your Apple IIE computer? Remember when Belding asked for his $200 payment for spray-painting your room? Remember when you refused to pay? Remember when Belding grabbed you by your jewfro and slammed your head into the wall and then stole $300 from your wallet? Remember how you suffered a concussion from having your head slammed into the wall and later regained consciousness and discovered that Belding and Slater were pulling a train with you while Kelly was dropping a deuce on your bird chest? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Humidifier" episode

2006-11-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode from the New Class where you were working in Belding's office as his assistant? Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you, as usual, at 9:30 AM that day and refused to give you a reach-around? Remember how it had been very fry lately and your skin felt irritated? Remember when you asked him for some moisturizer and Belding said "you want some moisturizer? Here it is, BITCH!" and then dropped his pants and jerked off into your face and blew his massive load onto your gonzo nose? Remember when you started crying so Belding slugged you in the nuts to shut you up and starting sticking random office supplies up your rectum? Remember when you wouldn't stop crying and Belding finally seemed to show some empahty toward you? Remember when he hugged you and told you he'd bring in a humidifier if that would make you feel better? Remember how good that made you feel, as Belding finally seemed like the father figure you'd always wanted?

Remember when when Belding left and then returned 15 minutes later with a humidifer filled with some kind of liquid? Remember when you asked what was in there, and he replied that it was the standard humidifier fluid? Remember how you automatically believed him because you didn't know anything about humidifiers? Remember when Belding turned the humidifier on and then ran out of the room and locked the door? Remember when you thought nothing of it and then started alphbetizing Belding's gay porn and other files in his office? Remember when Belding unlocked the door and walked in with Mr. Tuttle 2 hours later? Remember how they were wearing gas masks? Remember when you asked why they were dressed like that and they both fell over laughing? Remmeber when Belding told you that the liquid in the humidifer was HIV juice that he picked up at the local AIDS clinic? Remember when you quickly deduced that you had been breathing evaporated HIV juice for the past 2 hours? Remember when you rushed over the the nearby hospitcal and discovered you had contracted the deadly HIV virus and that you life expectancy had been reduced by about 30 years? Remember when you returned to Bayside and told Belding? Remember when he started laughing his ass off and then threw you up against a wall and kicked you in your tiny hairless balls with his dress shoes? Remember when he sodomized you with a softball bat and then picked you up and stuffed you into a dumpster behind the school with the rest of the garbage? Remember when the squirrels that lived in the dumpster became irate because you were invading their home? Remember when they started biting you and you contracted rabies? Remember when you slipped into a coma and suffered cardiac arrest later the next day due to an adverse reaction to the rabies? Remember when you remained int he coma for one week and lost 40% of your brain's mental capacity by the time you finally came out of it?

The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

The "April Fool's" Episode Recap

2006-11-25T09:03:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember the “April Fool’s” episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you were a junior at Bayside and wore your glasses in the morning to Bayside? Remember how they were really thick and resembled Coke bottles? Remember how everyone would laugh at you when you wore them and call you names like “nerd” and “faggot?” Remember when you brought your contact lenses with you and stored them in your locker, intending to put your contact in just before your gym class during third period? Remember when Mr. Belding asked Milo the janitor to break into your locker because he wanted to switch your bottle of contact lens solution with a bottle of hydrochloric acid that was stored in a special bottle that looked just like your contact lens solution bottle? Remember when you took your contact lenses and the switched contact lens solution bottle with you as you headed to gym class? Remember when you changed into you gym clothes and headed over to the sink to put in your contacts? Remember when you squirted some of the solution into your right eye and felt a painful burning sensation as the hydrochloric acid burned away layers of tissue in your eye? Remember when you screamed out in pain just as Belding jumped out from behind the bathroom stall door and yelled “Gotcha! April Fool’s!!!” Remember how he turned bright red and was laughing very loudly? Remember when Zack, Slater, Moose, and I saw what had happened and all started laughing uncontrollably as you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Belding unzipped his pants, dropped his underwear, and started jerking off as he watched you writhing on the floor in severe pain? Remember when he said “here Screech, this will help," and then blew in load in your eye? Remember how that didn’t really help at all? Remember when Slater and Zack then proceeded to piss in your eye and the pain felt even more intense? Remember when you finally crawled over the toilet? Remember when you dunked your head into a toilet that Slater had just used five minutes earlier? Remember how he hadn’t flushed and you got chunks of his shit stuck in your eye but at least the burning sensation was gone?

Remember when you called an ambulance and were taken to the emergency room? Remember when you were rushed into surgery and the doctors had to remove your right eye and replace it with a glass eye? Remember when you dropped out of Bayside for the next three months and saw a psychiatrist to help you get over this traumatic experience? Remember when the psychiatrist convinced you that it would be helpful for you to confront Mr. Belding about what had happened? Remember when you finally agreed to do so and drove over to Bayside and told Belding that his prank cost you your right eye? Remember when Belding yelled out “FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!” and then threw a field hockey stick at your head, striking you in your huge nose? Remember when Belding lunged at you and ripped out your glass eye and then fucked your bare eye socket? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

The "Dog Attack" episode recap

2006-09-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode where you received your Bayside yearbook? Remember how you ran home and into your bedroom and immediately locked your bedroom door? Remember when you opened your yearbook to the picture of the Wrestling team? Remember when you sat down on your bed and saw the pictures of Slater and started jerking off with your tiny cock? Remember when you climaxed and some sperm shot out of your baby-sized dick? Remember how Hound Dog was lying down next to your bed at this time? Remember when the sperm flew over the edge of your bed and landed in Hound Dog’s fur? Remember how Hound Dog barked in disgust? Remember when you said “get out of here you stupid dog?” Remember when you opened your bedroom door and booted Hound Dog out the door? Remember your mom let Hound Dog outside 30 minutes later when she thought he had to go to the bathroom?

Remember when Hound Dog started howling? Remember when he howled for 10 minutes? Remember when you were getting sick of hearing the howling because you were having a difficult time concentrating while watching gay porn in your bedroom? Remember when you walked outside and started yelling at Hound Dog to shut up? Remember when a stray Doberman jumped at you out of the darkness when you got outside, knocking you over? Remember when a Pit Bull bit onto your Zubaz and Underoos, tearing them off? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog’s howling was some kind of signal for neighborhood dogs? Remember when Great Dane jumped at you and lodged its big doggie cock in your rectum? Remember when a couple Chihuahuas bit are your tiny balls with their little mouths? Remember when a Golden Retriever took a shit on your jew-fro? Remember when a poodle took a piss on your face? Remember when the Great Dane blew its doggie load in your ass and then backed away? Remember when a Siberian Husky inserted its cock into your rectum, painfully tearing it in the process? Remember how you were laying down on your stomach on the grass in your backyard at this time and the Huskie put its front paws on your shoulder blades and dug in with its claws, scratching your hard enough to draw blood? Remember when Hound Dog ran over and shoved its erect cock in your face and placed its front paws on the top of your jew-fro and started scratching the hell out of the top of your head? Remember when you started crying out in terror? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog might kill you unless you sucked it off?

Remember when Kevin the robot rolled out through the back door and the dogs scattered? Remember when you thought you were finally safe? Remember when you realized you were not safe when Kevin raped you with his metallic cock? You sure learned not to mess around with dogs and robots that time!

Screech, do you remember when your parents stole all your money?

2006-09-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Screech, remember that episode where you dreamed you were a child star and that you had earned $2 million during your child acting career? Remember when you dreamed that your parents stole all your money? Remember when you dreamed that you almost lost your house to a foreclosure? Remember when it came true and you woke up from your dream and realized you were a dumpy washed-up former child star? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "homo" and a "shithead"? Remember when you paid a woman in Arby's Beef 'N Cheddars to pretend to be your wife and lie about the size of your penis? Remember when you went on the Howard Stern show begging for money and tried to force your few remaining fans into giving you money to pay for your extravagent mansion? You sure got screwed over that time!!

Remember When Screech's Parents Stole All of His Money?

2006-06-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

"Kevin the Hall Monitor" Episode Recap

2006-06-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding hired Kevin the Robot as a hall monitor? Remember how Kevin was your best friend in the whole wide world? Remember how Kevin was the only one who never mistreated you or ever tried to take advantage of you? Remember when Kevin saw you sharpening your #2 pencils in an electric pencil sharpener in Mr. Dewey’s classroom? Remember when Kevin became insanely jealous and thought you liked the electric pencil sharpener more than him? Remember how he decided to get even with you soon? Remember when you were in Mr. Tuttle’s class and asked if you could have a hall pass so you could go use the bathroom? Remember when you walked out into the hall toward the bathroom and were stopped by Kevin? Remember when you said “Hi Kevin”? Remember when Kevin informed you that you were in violation of school rules by being in the hall during class? Remember when you showed Kevin your hall passed and asked if you could just go to the bathroom? Remember when Kevin replied “BBBZZZTTT – Don’t get lippy with me, FAGGOT!!! BZZZT – That’s not a hall pass! Kevin will give you a hall pass!!! BZZTT!!” Remember when Kevin yanked off his Bayside sweatshirt, revealing a rapidly elongating metal rod in his groin area? Remember how the metal rod looked like a big dildo? Remember when Kevin then cut off your Zubaz with the saw in his left claw? Remember when Kevin lodged his metal rod in your butt and then bounced you up a down completely against your will while you cried out for help that never arrived? Remember when Kevin then knocked you onto the ground and unloaded his hot oily load into your jew-fro and said “BBZZTTT! How do you like Kevin’s hall pass, BITCH???” You sure learned not to wander in the halls that time!!!

The "Slater's Sausagefest" episode recap

2006-04-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode during your senior year at Bayside when the school was having an “Oktoberfest” festival to raise money for charity? Remember when the theme of the festival was a German celebration of the German festival, except that non-alcoholic beverages were served? Remember when you dressed up in a fruity German outfit like this loser in the picture on the left? Remember when Slater came up to you during the festival and invited you to a “sausage-fest” that was being held in his basement after the festival? Remember when you had never heard of a sausage-fest before, but you simply assumed it must be just another name for an Oktoberfest party? Remember when Slater told you to be sure not to change outfits before the sausage-fest? Remember when you rode your pink bike over to Slater’s house after the festival? Remember how everyone else drove, so by the time you arrived everyone else was already there? Remember when you rang the doorbell and Slater’s mom answered the door? Remember when she let you in and said that the sausage-fest was downstairs? Remember when Belding walked over to you from the kitchen? Remember how he was wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, but nothing else? Remember when his towel “accidentally” fell down, exposing his middle-aged genitalia? Remember when Mrs. Slater started staring at Belding’s rapidly hardening manhood? Remember when you quickly walked away over toward the stairs to the basement? Remember when you were halfway down the stairs and Belding called out for you and said “wait a minute, I have something for you, Screech?” Remember when you looked up just as Belding fired his “Principal of the Year” trophy at your head, hitting you and knocking you the rest of the way down the stairs? Remember when you looked up and were greeted by about 50 of your male classmates, all of whom were naked and horny? Remember when they raped the living crap out of you for the next 3 hours, dumping over 100 loads of STD-ridden semen in your butt and mouth and sodomizing you with Belding’s award? You really got screwed over that time!

Another Saved By The Bell Comic

2006-04-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

The "Becky the Duck" episode

2006-03-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode when Bayside struck oil and you and the rest of the Bayside gang though you would all be rich? Remember how happy you were and dreamed about how you'd spend your new-found wealth? Remember when you ran over to the pond behind the school to play with your new best friend, Becky the duck? Remember when you skipped rocks on the pond like the little fruity bastard you are? Remember when you got tired and then put Becky in a cage and brought her home to your house to be your pet? Remember when your mom didn't seem to mind that a wild, disease-ridden animal would be sleeping in your bedroom with you? Remember how happy Becky was when you set her cage down in your room?
Remember when you let her out of her cage and she waddled about and quacked to show her happiness? Remember when Kevin the robot saw this from your closet and became jealous from all the attention you were getting? Remember when Kevin the robot plugged his right claw into an electric outlet and aimed his left claw in your direction and a huge bolt of electricity flew at you, knocking your over and scorching your jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog walked into your bedroom and then Kevin slammed your door shut and locked it? Remember when Kevin rolled over to you and cut off your Zubaz pants with the tiny circular saw attached to his right claw? Remember when Becky quacked at you and waddled over to you? Remember when Becky snapped at your hairless nuts with her strong beak? Remember when you screamed out in pain? Remember when Hound Dog became agitated from all the noise and growled at you? Remember when Hound Dog put his hind leg up against your head as you laid on the floor and pissed in your jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog then walked over to the other side of your head, stuck his erect doggie cock in your face and growled and stripped his teeth at you? Remember when you realized you'd better suck off Hound Dog or else he would probably bite off your gonzo nose, permanently disfiguring you? Remember when you started sucking as Becky kept chomping at your nuts with her beak and then waddled over and chomped at your ears? Remember when Kevin recorded this bestiality rape with his camera and stored the entire video in his memory banks and then played it to the entire school through Bayside's cable network? Remember when everyone laughed at you and called you a "STUPID FAGGOT," including Belding and your mom? Remember when Kevin the robot sold the video years later to Slater when Slater was hosting "Pet Star"? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Lead Paint" episode

2006-03-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where the school board informed Mr. Belding that he needed to have the lead paint removed from the teachers' offices at Bayside, at a cost of $50,000? Remember how pissed off Belding was because he wanted to use the $50,000 on male escorts and gay porn instead of lead paint removal? Remember when he called you down to his office and informed you that the teachers' offices were coated with "magical paint" that would give you special powers? Remember when you didn't believe him? Remember when, to prove his point, he dropped trow and whipped out his massive, middle-aged schlong and informed you that he used to have a tiny "baby dick" just like your tiny jewish manhood? Remember how excited you became and you thought that if you just had a bigger ding-dong you'd finally be able to get a girlfriend? Remember when you took Belding up on his offer and showed up at 5:30 AM for the next 30 days and ate as much lead-based paint as you possibly could? Remember how you became more and more sick as the days went by until you collapsed of exhaustion on the 30th day? Remember how pale your skin had become and your hair had started falling out? Remember when Slater found you, took a shit in your poofy 'fro, and then called an ambulance for help? Remember when you were taken to the hospital and were informed that the lead in the paint had caused you to develop cancer? Remember you had to undergo painful chemotherapy that weakened you considerably? Remember when you almost died? Remember when Belding and Tuttle came to visit you in the hospital? Remember when they told you that you looked like a "complete DISPHIT" and a total "COCKSUCKING FAGGOT" while laying in the hospital bed? Remember when they raped you while you were in your weakened state unable to fend off their homosexual advances? You really got screwed over that time!!

Picture of Mr. Belding and Screech

2006-03-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

The "Dunkin' Donuts" episode

2006-02-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode when you walking into Mr. Belding’s office and he was scarfing down a baker’s dozen of “Dunkin’ Donuts” brand donuts? Remember how you enjoyed sweets and you started thinking about that times you would have ice cream and other sweets with your mom at the local ice cream shop? Remember how good and carefree these memories made you feel? Remember when you asked Belding if you could have a Dunkin’ Donut? Remember when he sucked the custard out of the 13th donut right after you asked your question? Remember when he said “sorry little buddy. I’m fresh out.” Remember how dejected you were? Remember when Belding said “wait a minute Screech. Although I’m out of Dunkin’ Donuts, I still have some ‘Dunkin’ Nuts’ you might like.” Remember when your frown quickly turned into a huge smile because you assumed that “Dunkin’ Nuts” must be some kind of new peanut-filled pastry you’d never heard of? Remember when Belding told you to close your eyes and stick out your tongue and brace yourself for the “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when you closed your eyes and heard Belding open the closet door? Remember when you figured he was bringing you a box of tasty “Dunkin’ Nuts?” Remember when instead of pulling out a box of pastries, he pulled out a huge mechanic’s wrench and smacked you across the chest with it, knocking you three feet backwards? Remember when he dropped his pants pulled out his middle-aged schlong and nuts and said “say hello to my little friend! Here come the ‘Dunkin Nuts’ motherfucka!!” and then teabagged you completely against your will while you screamed out in pain for help that never arrived?? You sure learned to stop eating so many pastries that time!

The "Krazy Glue" episode recap

2006-02-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember when you were a senior at Bayside and asked Mr. Tuttle for a hall pass so that you could go to the bathroom? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and were surprised to run into Slater and Mr. Belding, both of whom were walking out when you walked in? Remember when you walked into the first stall, dropped your Zubaz and sat down on the seat to take a huge dump? Remember when the seat felt a bit wet and you immediately became concerned that maybe you had just sat down in someone’s piss? Remember when you decided to get up and wipe off the seat? Remember when you tried to stand up but couldn’t because your legs and ass were stuck to the seat? Remember when Slater and Belding walked into the bathroom and Belding said “Hey FAGGOT, what do you think of the Krazy glue Slater and I rubbed all over the toilet seat? That glue isn’t coming off your ass anytime soon, DIPSHIT!!!” Remember when you started crying? Remember when Slater kicked open the stall door, dropped trow, and then bent over and sprayed diarrhea all over your face, jew-fro, shirt, and crotch? Remember when Slater moved away and then Belding walked over and said, “you smell like shit! You sure could use a nice warm shower!” and then dropped his pants and then took a piss on your face and crotch? Remember when your fellow nerds from the chess team walked in the bathroom and fired several wooden chess boards and chess pieces at your face, resulting in several bruises and cuts, causing you to start bleeding in several places on your face? Remember when Tuttle walked in and said, “Screech, now that you have an open wound, I think you’re ready for my HIV juice!” Remember when Tuttle started jerking off and shot his HIV+ seed onto your bleeding cuts, causing the HIV virus to enter into your bloodstream? Remember when Belding and Slater returned with several dodgeballs they had taken from the gym and started whipping them right at your face and tiny cock? Remember when you tried to block them, but they were coming too fast? Remember when Slater hit you in your gonzo nose so hard that your nose shattered and your head snapped back into the bathroom wall and you hit the back of your head on the bathroom wall and lost consciousness? Remember when Mr. Belding unscrewed the toilet seat and picked up your and the toilet seat glued to your ass and dumped your unconscious body into the dumpster behind the school? Remember when the crazy bum who lived in that dumpster was awoken when you landed on his head? Remember when he was so horny that he raped you? Remember when Belding called Mrs. Powers and said that you had a panic attack and had glued yourself to the toilet seat and then jumped into the dumpster yourself, cutting yourself in the process? Remember when she believed him? Remember when she had you committed to a psychiatric hospital for the next year to cure your craziness? Remember when she found out that you were HIV+? Remember when she called you a “no good faggot” and disowned you? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

Screech Saved By The Bell Comics

2006-01-23T21:38:00.000-08:00

Check out these funny Saved By The Bell Comics involving Screech. Click on the images to see larger versions.

"Insect Rodeo" episode recap

2006-01-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where you asked Lisa to go to the Insect Rodeo with you? Remember when she laughed at you, called you a jewish faggot, and said she couldn't go with you because she was scheduled to have a hot orgy with Slater, Mr. Tuttle, and Zack's dad that she'd been planning for weeks? Remember when she said that Tuttle was doing her in the ass, Slater was doing her in the pussy, Zack's dad was mouth-fucking her, and Zack was going to be videotaping it? Remember how Lisa was the love of your life and you felt so heartbroken when you heard her plans? Remember when you started crying like the little pussy you are? Remember when Mr. Belding walked out of his office and said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when you told him Lisa rejected you and he started laughing? Remember when you cried and begged him not to laugh at you and he said he was thinking of something funny that happened the day before? Remember when he said that he'd take you to the Insect Rodeo to change your mood? Remember how joyous you felt, as Belding was a father-figure to you? Remember when you showed up at the Insect Rodeo and felt so proud that Belding cared enough to take you? Remember when you walked past the ant farms and Belding asked if you liked ants? Remember when you said you didn't because they were small and ugly? Remember when Belding suddenly got an evil look on his face and you thought something was up? Remember when Belding pointed away and said "Screech, look of there, what's that?" Remember when you looked over and then Belding cold-cocked you, knocking you completely over? Remember when you were struggling to breath and Belding tore off your Zubaz? Remember when Belding picked up a huge glass case holding one of the ant farms and poured the sand and ants contained in it down your poop-chute? Remember when he had poured about a couple pounds of sand and several thousand ants in your ass, and that's about all that would fit up there? Remember when he said he needed them to stay in their new home and not escape from your ass? Remember when he took a fireplace poker from the fireplace that just happened to be located in the middle of the room where the Insect Rodeo was taking place? Remember when he pushed the sand and ants into your ass with the fireplace poker and then taped your asshole shut with duct tape? Remember when he then beat you over the head with the fireplace poker and took a smelly shit on your jew-fro? Remember when Belding picked you up and threw you out the window and you landed in the dumpster down below? You sure learned about ants that time!!!

Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time?

2005-12-18T14:46:00.000-08:00

Dustin Diamond, remember when you really hit the big time, everybody loved you, and you were knee-deep in pussy thrown at you by extremely hot female fans of yours? 'Cause I sure don't...

The "Hound Dog" episode

2005-12-15T21:19:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where your dog, Hound Dog, walked into your room and caught you tossing off to Slater's wrestling picture in the Bayside yearbook...for the 50th time? Remember how Hound Dog panted as he stared at you? Remember how this made you uncomfortable as you smacked away at your tiny cock? Remember when you threw your pillow at him, hoping it would scare him away? Remember when your pillow hit him in the face and he started growling? Remember when Hound Dog started inching toward you while continuing to growl? Remember when you started to get concerned? Remember when Hound Dog jumped up onto your bed and lunged at your tiny cock? Remember when he snapped at your cock and bit down on your tiny manhood? Remember when his bite broke the skin and your cock started bleeding? Remember when you saw that Hound Dog's penis was completely erect? Remember he bit your hand and kept growling at you? Remember when he stuck his canine cock in the direction of your face? Remember when you realized that Hound Dog wasn't going to leave you alone until you sucked him off? Remember when you put his smelly, filthy dog cock in your mouth and started sucking? Remember when Hound Dog panted away in please and put his front legs up on your poofy jew fro while this was happening? Remember when his claws scratched the hell out your face during this? Remember when Hound Dog blew his doggie load in your mouth? Remember when he backed away from you and you thought your ordeal was finally over until Hound Dog jumped at your face and then chomped on your huge gonzo nose? You sure learned not to mess with dogs that time!!

The "Lost In Space" episode

2005-11-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that "Lost In Space" episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when Mr. Belding signed you up for a "young astronauts" NASA summer camp? Remember when you ventured onto a space ship called the "Jupiter 2"? Remember when the ship took off into space? Remember when everyone else on board was from the 1960s TV show "Lost In Space"? Remember when Dr. Smith found you and asked who you were? Remember when you told him who you were? Remember when he said everyone was going to be upset if they found you? Remember when he told you to go hide in the galley with this robot:

Remember when you went down into the galley and saw "Robot," a huge 7-foot tall clunky robot with flailing red arms and claws? Remember when the robot said "Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" Remember when you told Robot that your name was "Screech,” begged Robot to be quiet, and touched the buttons on Robot's chest, trying to get shut off his voice circuits? Remember when Robot said "Robot likes!" Remember when Robot said "Kevin, let's get Screech!" Remember when you turned around and saw your robot "Kevin" roll out from a closet? Remember when Kevin called you a faggot and said that he followed you from home! Remember when Kevin said "Remember what I did to you in the park? --BZZT--- You're gonna get twice the pain this time!" Remember when Robot's arms started flailing and he smacked you in the head with his metal claws? Remember when you fell into Kevin who proceeded to cut off your zubaz with his sharp metal claws? Remember when huge metal rods slowly grew out of Robot's and Kevin's respective groins? Remember when Robot grabbed you by your greasy 'fro and stuck his metal penis in your mouth? Remember when Kevin stuck his metal rod in your bleeding rectum? Remember when Kevin and Robot spit roasted you for the next 10 minutes while you screamed in pain? Remember when you looked up and saw a live video feed from the Houston office of NASA on the galley screen? Remember when you saw a bunch of engineers laughing at you as you were getting spit-roasted? Remember when they all called you a "SHITHEAD FAGGOT?" Remember when Kevin and Robot simultaneously expelled their oily robotic loads into your orifices? Remember when they rolled away from you and dropped you on the floor? Remember when Mr. Robinson walked into the galley and started yelling at you and said "We don't have room for any more stowaways!" Remember when he picked you up and threw your lifeless body into a space pod? Remember when they ejected the space pod and you spent the next week in the space pod until the space pod finally floated through the earth's atmosphere and landed in the Pacific Ocean? Remember when a Navy ship came across the space pod and picked you up? Remember when NASA sent you a bill for $30,000,000 for the cost of the space pod? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

"Screech's Music Album" episode

2005-11-08T19:52:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember the "Rocumentary" episode where you, Slater, Zack, Kelly, Lisa, and Jessie formed the group "Zack Attack" and became famous singers? Remember when the group broke up when Zack tried to become the headline star? Remember how depressed you were when Mr. Belding showed up at your door crying one day after school and told you that there would be no reunion? Remember when you got to thinking that you should form your own singing group so that you'd finally be able to impress Slater enough to get him to let you do him in his muscular butt? Remember when you asked Mr. Belding to help you record your album? Remember when Mr. Belding said he would help and that his brother Rod owned a recording studio? Remember when you showed up at Rod's house the next day and he and Mr. Belding suggested you wear your mother's dress while singing? Remember when you said you didn't want to do so? Remember when Rod said that he was only trying to help create an appropriate image for you and the segment of people who would likely purchase your album? Remember when you finally agreed to do so? Remember when Rod also suggest you use the stage name "Joyce" so that people would confuse you with your previous "Zack Attack" band? Remember when you put on the dress and then recorded several fruity love songs? Remember when the best songs recorded that day were "The Diarrhea Dance" and "Gimme Some HIV Juice"? Remember when you finished recorded the album and got up to leave? Remember when Rod said, "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me for the use of this equipment?" Remember when you said you thought he was letting you use the equipment for free? Remember when he called you a "STUPID FAGGOT" and then slapped you in the face with a boom microphone? Remember when Mr. Belding shoved the boom microphone up your ass and then threw you down on the ground and teabagged you? Remember when Rod pulled out the boom microphone and then ravished you, completely against you will for the next 15 minutes with his disease-ridden member?

Remember when you showed up at Bayside the next day with a noticeable limp? Remember when everyone was holding a copy of your album shown below and calling you a faggot? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Reunion" episode

2005-11-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that Saved By The Bell reunion special episode? Remember when you received the inviation in the mail but initially weren't interested in going because of all the crap you endured during your high school years at Bayside, including the daily rapes and beatings? Remember when your mom called you and convinced you to attend the reunion? Remember when you thought that nobody would pick on you because you were all grown up and no longer scrawny, but were instead chubby, married, and sported a little uneven goatee? Remember when when you showed up at the reunion and Belding immediately pounced on you, clotheslining you and dragging you into his office for some hot, sweaty, unprotected buttsex? Remember when he ravished you for 15 minutes until he pulled out and blew his AIDS-tainted semen into your mouth? Remember when Milo ran into Belding's office and smacking you in the face and nuts with his mop? Remember when Slater crawled into the office throught the window next to the dumpster outside? Remember when Slater carried your naked body into Mr. Tuttle's classroom? Remember when Zack was already in there with Moose spit-roasting your mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember how Mrs. Powers was screaming in pleasure as Zack anally penetrated her? Remember how you screamed in pain as Slater anally penetrated you completely against your will? That was the best sitcom high school reunion episode ever!

Belding's movie, "Going Down"

2005-11-01T20:48:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode from Saved By The Bell: The New Class where Mr. Belding told you he was going to be acting in a movie? Remember when he said the name of the movie was "Going Down," and he was playing the character "Uncle Frank"? Remember how excited you were for him? Remember when he asked if you wanted to be "rape victim #1"?? Remember how good that made you feel because you thought he was asking you if you wanted a role in the movie? Remember when you eagerly accepted? Remember when you thought you were going to become a big-time movie star and finally earn respect from your peers? Remember when you quickly discovered that you would not earn and respect when you showed up at Belding's the next day and told him you were ready for the acting role? Remember when he said "there's no acting for you Screech, I'M REALLY GONNA RAPE YOU, FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when he subsequently had unprotected buttsex with you and shot his HIV+ sperm in your butt? You really got screwed over that time!

The "Inner-City Busing" episode

2005-10-30T20:48:00.000-08:00

Screech, remember that episode where inner-city kids were bused in from South Central LA to Bayside? Remember when two of the kids, LaTroy and Jumoke, had lockers near yours? Remember how hip and cool you thought it was when you saw them shooking and jiving? Remember when you asked LaTroy for protection from Slater who had been raping you after gym class every day that week? Remember when he said he would only protect you if you helped him sell pot to the nerds? Remember when Nerdstrom and Violet bought hundreds of dollars worth of drugs and drug paraphanalia from LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when Slater stopped raping you because he was afraid of LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when LaTroy and Jumoke were caught breaking into Mr. Tuttle's car and selling dope to Mr. Dewey? Remember when they were expelled and went to jail because they were 18? Remember when they said they were gonna get you when they got out of jail because they thought you had squealed on them? Remember when you ran to Mr. Belding's office to ask for help? Remember when you walked in the door and saw Belding on his knees sucking off Slater while Zack did Slater from behind? Remember when Mr. Tuttle jumped out from behind the door and fired a stapler at your head, knocking you to the floor? Remember when Slater said "I'll teach you to hire protection, FAGGOT!!!" and then raped the bejeezus out of you? Remember when Tuttle and Belding unleased their HIV+ sperm into your bleeding head? Remember when several years passed during which you graduated and then came back as Belding's assistant? Remember when you walked to the parking lot to your Yugo car after school one day and were confronted by LaTroy and Jumoke? Remember when they beat the living shit out of you and butt-raped you? That episode really celebrated diversity when you got screwed over that time!

My picture

2005-10-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember the episode when this picture was taken? Remember how you talked Slater into jumping me in the locker room? Remember when you were going to pull down my pants and buttslam me against my will? Remember when you pulled down my pants and then I asked you to do me a favor and look and the mole on my right asscheeck to see if it was discolored because I was afraid it might be infected? Remember when you went in for a closer look and then I unleashed a diarrhea tsunami right in your face, covering your face with chunks of my shit? Remember when Slater started laughing and I high-fived him? Remember how my diarrhea irritated your eyes and you couldn't see anything? Remember when I booted you in the nuts and then tore off your Zubaz and buttraped you while Slater teabagged you? Remember when I finished you off with a donkey punch and then Slater and I got dressed and left you for dead in the locker room? That's what you get for trying to trick me, FAGGOT!!!

Halloween episode recap

2005-10-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that Halloween episode of Saved By The Bell? Remember when you needed a costume for the Masquerade Ball? Remember when you asked your buddies Slater and Zack to help you find a costume to wear? Remember when Zack said "Why don't you dress up as Liberace? He was a stupid faggot just like you!!!" Remember when you started to cry because Zack was your idol and you couldn't bear to have him making fun of you? Remember when Slater put his muscular arms around you and gave you a big hug and reassured you that everything would be ok and that Zack was just kidding? Remember when you started to feel a little bit better, especially when Slater reached down into your Zubaz and massaged your nuts? Remember when Slater said "Why don't you go as Francisco Sanchez? He was a famous Mexican." Remember when you didn't know who that was? Remember when Slater said that Francisco was very well known for not bathing regularly, and he was very dirty all the time? Remember when Slater said that as a result everyone called him "Dirty Sanchez"? Remember when you agreed with Slater and said you'd go as "Dirty Sanchez"? Remember when Slater said "Zack, let's give Screech a 'Dirty Sanchez' costume?" Remember when Zack gave you a karate kick in the head, knocking you over? Remember when Slater tore off your Zubaz and stuck his finger in your butthole? Remember when he scooped some shit out of your butthole and then rubbed it on your face, giving you a "shit mustache" and a "shit beard"? Remember when Slater and Zack took turns butt-slamming you completely against your will while you screamed out in pain? Remember when Zack and Slater then jerked off into your jew-fro and then used their nut-butter to slick back your hair so that it looked really greasy? Remember when Slater and Zack high-fived each other and then said "how you do like your 'Dirty Sanchez' costume, you stupid cocksucking FAGGOT???" Zack and Slater sure got you good that time!

Archived June-July 2005 "Remember When" stories

2005-10-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

24th July 2005 - 07:41:39 PM
58587 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Zack was the 10th caller in the radio station contest that was being held at the Max to win a trip for 2 people to Hawaii? Remember when Zack was sent to detention by Mr. Belding for using his cell phone to call into the station? Remember when Zack had to get down to the Max by 4:00 PM to answer three questions about Hawaii to win the trip? Remember when Zack was stuck in detention and couldn't go? Remember when Zack had you dress up as him and pretend to be him while answering the questions? Remember when Mr. Belding found out about Zack's scheme and became enraged? Remember when Zack offered Mr. Belding the other ticket if he would let Zack go to the Max and answer the question? Rememebr when Mr. Belding said he would only do it if he got to bring you with him? Remember when Zack reminded Belding that the contest was only for 2 tickets to Hawaii? Remmeber when Belding said "Zack, don't worry about it. I'll stow Screech in my luggage, with all of my other sex toys." Remember when Zack won the contest and Belding told you you were coming with? Remmeber when you jumped up and down and asked if you could sit by the window? Rememebr when Belding said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!" and then slugged you in the gut? Remember when he dumped your unconscious body into his rolling luggage and checked in this luggage? Remember when you passed out while in the luggage compartment during the flight? Remember when you came to in the hotel room in Hawaii while Mr. Belding was tagging you from behind and Zack was teabagging you? Belding and Zack sure got you good that time!!!

Jul 22 2005, 03:56 AM
Screech, remember that episode where you fell asleep in Mr. Tuttle's class at Bayside? Remember when you dreamed that you were in the navy and were the captain of the U.S.S. Zubaz? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom, your first mate, detected an incoming torpodeo? Remember when you yelled out "all hands on deck"? Remember when you dreamed that you tried to evade the torpodeo but were just too slow to react? Remember when you dreamed that the torpodeo broke through the hull of the U.S.S. Zubaz with a direct hit? Remember when you dreamed that hot seawater rushed into the U.S.S. Zubaz? Remember when you woke up and discovered that Mr. belding was doing you in the butt with his middle-aged "torpodoe" while Zack was pissing all over your Zubaz and Mr. Tuttle was tea-bagging you? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

21st July 2005 - 01:35:11 AM
54406 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were taking Mr. Dewey's biology class? Remember when you raised your hand and asked how many bones were in your body? Remember when Mr. Dewey replied "you have 207 bones in your body, Screech." Remember when you replied "but Mr. Dewey, my biology book says that adult males only have 206 bones?" Remember when Mr. Dewey said "shut the fuck up, you Zubaz-wearing FAGGOT!!! See me after class, SHITHEAD!" Remember you stayed after class and were alone in the room with Mr. Dewey? Remember when he whistled and Slater emerged from a storage closet with a crazy look in his eyes? Remember when Slater walked over to you and puched you in your adam's apple, knocking you over? Remember when Mr. Dewey yanked off your shorts and said "hey fag-boy, when I'm through with you, you'll known where you extra bone is!" Remember when he dropped trow and inserted his erect dong in your tight butthole? Remember when he said "well here's bone #207 in you - it's burried in your rectum, fro-boy!" Remember when Mr. Dewey buttslammed you for the next 15 minutes until he finally pulled out and blew his load in your right ear? Remmeber how you couldn't hear out of that ear for weeks afterward because it was all clogged up? You sure got screwed over that time!

18th July 2005 - 11:16:43 PM
52610 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Bayside had its fundraising fair? Remember when Mr. Belding was in the dunk tank? Remember when Zack's dad threw the ball at the target and Mr. Belding fell into the water? Remember when you started laughing uncontrollably? Remember when Mr. Belding saw you laughing and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID FAGGOT!!!! " Remember when you started crying like a little pussy? Remember when MR. Belding got out of the dunk tank and started walking toward you? Remember when he said "now it's your turn to be dunked!" Remember how you thought he was going to insert you into the dunk tank? Remember when instead of putting you into the dunk tank, he dropped trow, threw you on the ground, and then dunked his hairy nutsack in your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding said "how do you like being dunked, you cocksucking SHITHEAD!!!" Remember when you saw Slater walking toward you and thought he was going to save you? Remember when instead of saving you, he unleashed a smelly bean-filled shit on your 'fro? You sure got screwed over that time!

15th July 2005 - 09:50:25 AM
49662 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you had a sore throat and asked to be sent to the nurse's office for some medicine? Remember when the nurse took your temperature and looked at your throat? Remember when she said that it was just a little cold and you should drink some tea to make your throat feel better? Remember when you left the nurse's office and headed over to the cafeteria to get some tea to drink? Remember when you ran into Belding and told him you needed some tea when he asked where you were going? Remember when he told you that the tea from the cafeteria was terrible and mentioned that he could make some tasty tea for you? Remember when you agreed and followed him into his office? Remember when he said close your eyes and "let me get a teabag first." Remember when you closed your eyes and then opened them were he slugged you in the gut? Remember when you bent over in pain and then Mr. Belding pulled down his pants, revealing his middle-aged erection? Remember when he shoved it in your face and said "step up to the mic, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he threw you on the ground and dunked his sweaty nuts in your mouth? Remember when he said "how do you like my teabag, BITCH???"

08th June 2005 - 12:59:04 AM
15426 : Ox
(cont. from 15425)

Screech, remember when everyone Pete regained consciousness and then crawled home? Remember when he spent the next 2 weeks in Intensive Care in the hospital? remember when he finally returned to Bayside and everyone caleld him "Poker Pete"? Remember how he thought people were calling him this because he liked to play Poker? Remember how people actually called him that because everyone knew that Nerdstrom had "poke" his schincter with his nerdy schlong?

08th June 2005 - 12:53:04 AM
15425 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing poker during lunch? Remember how you played at a table with Slater, Zack, Maxwell Nerdstrom, Mr. Belding, Mr. Tuttle, and another student named Pete? Remember how Pete was the delaer and would always bring two decks of cards to lunch so he could play? Remember how Pete was always trying to get you guys to play Texas Hold'em? Remember when he would write "play Texas Hold'em" multiple times on the chalkboards in the classrooms? Remember how everyone thought he was an annoying faggot for doing that? Remember when your tables was playing for nickels? Remember when Pete won the first 6 hands in a row and everyone thought something was amiss? Remember when Mr. Belding lost 50 cents, his soda money, and was irate? Remember when Mr. Belding poke Pete in the arm and said "are you cheating?" Remember when Mr. Belding's poke caused Pete to drop an extra deck of cards he had hidden in his sleeve? Remember when Belding said "you fucking cheating FAGGOT!!! Now you're gonna pay!!!" Remember when Mr. Belding picked up Pete and threw him against the wall of the cafeteria? Rememeber when Pete had the wind knocked out of him and was slow to get up? Remember when Slater kicked Pete in the ribs and then stomped on his head? Remember when Nerdstrom went nuts and tore off Pete's pants and started having unprotected buttsex with Pete? Remember when Mr. Tuttle pulled out his chubby, middle aged cock and gave Pete and golden shower? Remember when you kicked Pete in the stomache during this encounter? Remember when Mr. Belding dropped his pants and took a smelly shit on Pete's head? Remeber when Nerdstrom pulled his cock out of Pete's bloody butthole and blew his load in Pete's hair? Remember when Nerdstrom said "taht was good, faggot" as he picked up a chair and then smashed it on top of Pete's legs? Remember when Nerdstrom put on some golf cleats and did a little tapdance on Pete's hairless ballsac? Remember when this went on until the lunch bell rang 15 minutes later? Remember when you guys finished your fun and then Mr. belding and I picked up Pete and threw his mangled body into a dumster outside the cafeteria, leaving him for dead? Rememeber when years later Pete would go to various Internet websites and post gambling spam hundreds of times, filling up gay guestbooks with his annoying spam? What a fag!

03rd June 2005 - 01:24:22 AM
14099 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were in Mr. Dewey's science class and he mentioned that water swirls down drains in a counter-clockwise direction in the northern hemisphere? Remember he said that water swirls down drains located in the southern hemisphere in the episode direction (clockwise)? Remember when you quickly raised your hand and said "Mr. Dewey, I don't believe that. Did you just make it up?" Remember how you thought you were being funny? Remember when Mr. Dewey was noticeably irritated and responded, "I don't give a shit what you think, FAGGOT!!! You're a retarded piece of shit, you poofy-afroed dumbass!" Remember when the entire class started laughing at you? Remember when you started crying? Remember when he called you to the front of class and said "hey everybody, let's see if what I said about the swirl direction is true?" Remember when you started to get scared? Remember when he called Slater and me to the front of the class and we stripped off you clothes and duct-taped you to his desk? Remember when Mr. Dewey, Slater, and I all dropped trow and pissed in your mouth? Remember when Mr. Dewey said "hey class, I was right! Our piss swirls down Screech's throat in a counter-clockwise direction." Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Belding through the little window in the door to the class? Remember how relieved you were to see him and you were certain he'd beat up Mr. Dewey and rescue you from this humiliation? Remember when you quickly realized that Mr. Belding was not going to rescue you when he opened the door and walked into the class and saw that his pants were off and he was stroking his schlong? Remember when he walked over to you and squirted his load in your mouth? Remember when everyone started laughing and Lisa yelled out "Screech, Mr. Belding's load also swirls down your throat in a counter-clockwise direction!" Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom walked up to the front of the class and unleashed a huge load of diarrhea in your mouth and watched it swirl down your throat in the same direction? Remember when Nerdstrom said "you were wrong, faggot!" and then had unprotected buttsex with you completely against your will? You sure got screwed over that time!

Archived April-May 2005 "Remember When" stories

2005-10-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

26th May 2005 - 12:44:39 AM
13782 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you went to Mr. Belding's office and told him that you were so uncertain about the direction of your life? Remember when you told him that you were so depressed because you had just received a C+ in gym class. Remember how distraught you were as you opened up to Mr. B? Remember when he told you that he had a secret to tell you that would have a major impact on your life? Remember when you begged him to tell and finally he did, telling you that his pubic hair could predict the future? Remember when you initially didn't believe him? Remember when he hugged you with his chubby middle-aged arms and you believed him? Remember when he dropped trow and told you to move your face next to his penis? Remember how his penis smelled liked baked tortillas? Remember when he told you that your future would be clear if you sucked on his nuts and let him buttslam you? Remember how this was your first willing homosexual experience, after having been butt raped by Zack's dad and the boys in your gym class many times before? Remember when you relelvented to Belding's badgering, finally agreeing to let him dunk his nuts in your mouth for 30 minutes and then let him have unprotected buttsex with you for another hour? Remember when he pulled his penis out of your love hole and blew his load in your poofy afro? Remember when he asked if you were able to repdict anything about your future now? Remember when you said that you couldn't? Remember when Belding said "well, now I can predict YOUR future, FAGGOT!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET AIDS! I JUST UNLEASED MY HIV+ BODILY FLUIDS IN YOUR TITGHT BUTTHOLE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" Rememebr when you went to the free clinic a week later and relaized that Mr. belding's prediciton had come true? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

25th May 2005 - 12:52:56 AM
13754 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Dewey was covering insects in his Science class? Remember how you would always raise your hand and kiss up because you really wanted to get an A? Remember when he asked you to see him after class one day? Remember how your heart was pounding as you eagerly replied that you would? Remember when you showed up and he asked you to drop your pants and help him out with a science experiment? Remember when you quickly did so? Remember when he pulled out a jar of peanut butter? Remember when he spread it all over your tiny wang with his firm hands? Remember when Mr. Belding walked into the room with a video camera and your penis became rock hard because you figured he was going to tape some hot man-on-man action between you and Mr. Dewey? Remember when Mr. Dewey ask you to lie down in a glass enclosure and then he locked the top of it so that it was air-tight and you couldn't get out? Remember when Mr. Dewey opened a tiny door at the bottom of the glass enclosure and thousands of army ants entered into the enclosure with you? Remember when the ants started nibbling at your naked body, and there was nothing you could do about it? Remember when you yelled "Zoinks!" and then started screaming as the ants ate away at the peanut butter covering your dick? Remember when you looked over and saw Mr. Belding laughing his ass off as he videotaped the encounter? Remember how you endured 15 more minutes of the worst pain in your life as the killer army ants chomped away at your genitals until Mr. Dewey finally let you out? Remember how the ants ate away so much of the flesh in your penis that you are no longer able to achieve an erection? Remember when you showed up at school the next day and saw Mr. Belding selling videotapes of the attack? Remember when you told him about the permanent damage to your penis and he started laughing? Remember when Mr. Belding submitted the tape to "America's Funniest Home Videos" and he won the grand prize? Remember when Mr. Belding didn't share any of the prize money with you, which he ended up spending on hookers an blow? Mr. Dewey and Mr. Belding sure got you good that time!

17th May 2005 - 01:33:45 AM
13570 : Ox
Princess Peussie, remember that episode from the 3rd season of SBTB before your sex change, when you went by the name "Prince Peussie"? Remember how you were flaming gay and would dress like Peter Pan, wearing tights to school every day? Remember how you also sported a perm at this time in your pathetic little life? Remember how you used to masturbate every night while thinking about Slater's smelly Mexican manchilada and dreamed that you would someday toss his salad? Remember when Slater came up to you during gym class and asked you to meet in my Belding's dungeon after school for a swordfight? Remember how Mr. Belding had constructed a dungeon in his basement where he used to referee hot man-on-man action? Remember when Slater said that Mr. Belding, Zack, and Screech would be there to watch? Remember how turned on that made you feel, because it seemed so kinky? Remember when you showed up at Mr. Belding's dungeon, dropped trow, and prepared your boner for a "swordfight" with Slater's little Mexican warrior? Remember how you were hung like a 3-month-old? Remember when Slater showed up with a real medieval sword? Remember when Mr. belding walked in and started the match? Remember when your tiny wang was no match for Slater's heavy medieval sword? Remember when Slater chopped off your baby-dick with the sword and you collapsed in shock from the blood loss? Remember when Zack and Mr. tuttle started laughing uncontrollably and both called you a "HUGE FAGGOT!!!"? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up your member from the ground, placed it in a tiny little hot dog bun, and then made you eat it? Remember how much pain you were in and you were so light-headed from the blood loss? Remember when you passed out and woke up to find Screech's dog, "Hound Dog," pissing on your perm? You sure got screwed over that time!

16th May 2005 - 12:22:34 AM
13557 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing kickball during gym class at Bayside? Remember when Kelly was at the plate and she kicked the ball to you while you were playing shortstop? Remember when you fielded the ball and wildly threw it toward Zack, the first baseman? Remember when you were so uncoordinated that the ball slipped as you threw it and it hit the second baseman in the head? Remember when the second basement was a weirdo that liked to be called the "Prince"? Remember when everyone thought he was a complete faggot? Remember how he was the only kid in school that you could beat up, as he was even more scrawny than you? Remember when he got up after you hit hit with the kickball and came at you crying and screaming like the big pussy that he was? Remember when he swung at you with flailing arms? Remember when you kicked him in the nuts and he fell over? Remember when a crowd started forming around you two yelling "FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!" as you squared off with the Prince? Remember when Mr. Belding ran out in the gym and said "hey, hey, hey, waht is going on here?" Remember when the Prince ran over to Belding and told him that you hit him with the kickball for no reason? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up the kickball and said "was it this kickball, you stupid FAGGOT?" as he whipped the ball at your face from a distance of a mere 10 feet away? Remember when the ball hit the Prince in his face, shattering his nose and spraying blood everywhere? Remember when the entire class started laughing and called the Prince a stupid piece of cocksucking shit? Remember when Slater said "whoa, that's a lot of blood" as Zack gave the Prince a legsweep, knocking him to the ground? Remember when Slater dropped trow and then dropped an HIV+ pile of shit on the Prince's bloody nose? Remember when the HIV from Slater's feces made its way into the Prince's bloodstream, giving the Prince HIV? Remember when Mr. Dewey, the science teacher, ran into the gym with a syringe and said "Prince, take this, it will make you better" as he injected the Prince? Remember when he finished the injection and then told everyone he had just injected the Prince with the Ebola virus? Remember when everyone started laughing? Remember how the Prince was a bloody, fecal-covered mess by this point? Remember when you said "alright, he's had enough... JUST KIDDING, WE'RE JUST GETTING WARMING UP!!!" as you kicking the Prince in the nuts and then yanked off his gym shorts? Remember when everyone laughed because the Prince was hung like a gnat? Remember when Slater, Zack, Mr. Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, and Mr. Dewey took turns stomping on the Prince's tiny hairless beanbag? Remember when I said "let me have a chance! I'm strong like an OX?" Remember when I stomped so hard on the Prince's nuts that his nutsack broke open and his tiny balls rolled out? Remember when Salter said "Prince, I think these belong to you" as he stuffed then down the Prince's throat? Remember when the Prince was in the hospital for months afterward and has been seeing a psychiatrist for years? Remember when you went to your 10-year Bayside high school reunion and discovered that the Prince had a sex change and now goes by the name "Princess Puessie"? Remember when Princess Peussie started posting retarded things in message board because he thinks they are funny, when in reality only a stupid fecal-munching pervert would find any of his postings funny? You and the Bayside gang sure screwed over the Prince in that episode!

11th May 2005 - 02:41:07 AM
13485 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Slater tripped you during a basketball game you were playing in gym class at Bayside? Remember when you told the teacher what had happened and Slater was sent to Mr. Belding's office? Remember when Mr. Belding called you down to his office and you thought he was going to ask about the incident so that he could document everything before suspending Slater? Remember when you walked into Mr. Belding's office and Slater jumped out from behind the door and punched you in the chin? Remember when MR. Belding stood up and you saw that he was naked and stroking his schlong while watching Slater beat your ass? Remember when Slater kepting punching you in the chest and ribs? Remember when he tore off your now-bloody Zubaz and had unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and blew his load in your 'fro? Remember when MR. Belding kicked you in the head and you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when an ambulance was called and you went to the hospital? Remember when Zack and Slater visited you after you came out of your coma? Remember how you were on an IV drip? Remember when Slater used medical tape to tape your hands together? Remember when you thought (and hoped) he was doing this so that he could have kinky gay sex with you? Remmeber when he yanked off the IV bag and took into the bathroom and took a runny shit in it? Remember when he came back out and hooked up the bag of his shit to the IV drip? Remember when you got blood poisoning and almost died? Remember when you went into another coma and permanently lost 25% of your brain's mental capacity? Slater sure got you good that time!

06th May 2005 - 12:54:13 AM
13438 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you learned about gravity in Mr. Tuttle's science class? Remember when Mr. Tuttle said that, assuming no wind resistance, two objects of different mass dropped from the same height would hit the ground at the same time? Remember when you said you didn't believe him? Remember when Slater yelled from the back of the class "SHUT UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKER!!!!" Remember when everybody except you laughed hysterically at Slater's insult? Remember when Mr. Tuttle asked the class to calm down and then told everyone to go the the roof for a test? Remember when Mr. Tuttle dropped a nickel off the roof and everyone watched it hit the ground? Remember when you leaned over the edge of the roof to get a bird's eye view of the nickel? Remember when Mr. Tuttle said it was time to drop more things? Remember when he held an apple in his left hand and then walked over to you and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when you fell over in pain and then Zack and Slater picked you up and fired you off the room as Mr. Tuttle dropped the apple? Remember when the apple and your scrawny body both hit the pavement at the same time? Remember when Slater said he still didn't understand the law of gravity, so Mr. Tuttle told Zack and him to drop trow and piss off the roof? Remember when Zack, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle all pissed off the roof, and their urine landed on your mangled body? Remember when they were done urinating and then started throwing gravel from the roof down onto you? Remember when you were struck in the eye with a little rock thrown by Slater and suffered permanent damage to your cornea? Remember when Zack took off his shoe and threw it at your head from the top of the roof? Remember when it hit you in the head, knocking you out? Remember when you woke up and were paralyzed in a hospital? Remember when your nurse was a flaming HIV+ homosexual? Remember when he used to drug you up and unload his HIV+sperm in your mouth? Remember when you contracted HIV from him and now have full-blown AIDS? You sure got screwed over that time!

03rd May 2005 - 12:36:39 AM
13391 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you wanted to try out for Bayside's band? Remember how you were so distraught because you thought that your mom was too poor to afford to purchase a musical instrument for you? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office and explained your predicament? Remember when he put his middle-aged arms around you to comfort you? Remember when his wandering hands reached into your Zubaz and he inserted several gumballs into your rectum that he had just purchased from the gumball machine in the cafeteria? Remember when he forcibly removed the gumballs from your nether region and made you eat them, completely against your will? Remember when Mr. Belding said "Screech, I have a wonderful idea! How about a Russian Trombone?" Remember when you didn't know what a Russian Trombone was? Remember when you said "Are you going to give me a Russian Trombone?" Remember when he said, "no, you're going to give me one, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he threw you on you floor, dropped trow and then made you give his a Russian Trombone? Remember when he'd had enough and 90 minutes later said "that's enough Screech. Now's it's my turn to give you something! How about a 'Dizzy Gillespie'!" Remember how you didn't know what he was talking about? Remember when he sat on your mouth and farted? Remember when your cheeks filled with his smelly ass gas, and they puffed up like Dizzy Gillespie's when the famous musician would play his trumpet? Belding sure got you good that time!

Special thanks to Ox Fan for the support.

29th April 2005 - 01:40:47 AM
13335 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you got butt-raped in gym class again and decided you had to learn to protect yourself? Remember when you decided to go to the weight room after school to buy some steroids that you heard were dealt there? Remember when you saw me injecting Slater with 'roids over by the leg press machine? Remember when you walked up to Slater after he got the shot and asked for some of the "juice"? Remember when he said, "sure, I'll juice you up! Give me $50 first!" Remember when you paid him and then he punched you in the eye, knocking you over? Remember when he said "here comes the juice, FAGGOT!!!" as he pulled down his pants? Remember when he unleashed a torrent of warm diarrhea in your face and then said, "I'm juicing you up, you piece of SHIT! How do you like the juice now?" Slater sure screwed you over that time!"

18th April 2005 - 12:48:23 AM
13156 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you where playing basketball in gym class? Remember when Slater checked the ball off your huge gonzo nose? Remember when your nose started bleeding because he threw the ball so hard? Remember when you started crying like a little bitch? Remember when the gym teacher told you to go to the nurse's office? Remember when the nurse gave you a shot to calm you down? Remember when you came to and discovered you were lying naked in a patient's bed in the nurse's office with your arms and legs tied to the bed? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked in and called you a huge faggot? Remember when he slapped you in the head and started laughing at you? Remember how it was allergy season and his nose was really runny? Remember when he walked up to you and you thought he was going to untie you? Remember when he instead blew his nose right in your face? Remember when he started flicking boogers out of nose nose and into your mouth and eyes? Remember when he spit in your hair? Remember when Mr. Belding walked in and said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when he saw you with boogers and spit on your face and started laughing his ass off? Remember when he dropped trow, revealing his wrinkled middle-aged cock? Remember when he started stroking himself and blew his load in your poofy afro? Remember when he also blew his nose in your eye and flicked boogers into your mouth? Remember when Slater walked in the room from gym class and was carrying the basketball from class? Remember when he whipped it in your face, breaking your nose? Remember when Zack walked in and ripped a nasty fart right in your face? Remember when Zack and Slater then took turns picking their noses and wiping their boogers in your hair? Remember when Slater finished your off by unloading a huge pile of shit in your 'fro? Remember when everyone walked out and returned to class, leaving your by yourself for the next 5 hours as the bodily fluids in your hair hardened? Remember when Mr. Dewey finally released you in time to catch the bus home? Remember when it took several weeks to get all of the boogers, shit, jizz, and spit out of your hair? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

06th April 2005 - 01:26:08 AM
13046 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where it was Valentine's Day? Remember how depressed you were when you didn't have a date for the evening? Remember how disappointed you were when none of the boys in your gym class who used to have unprotected buttsex with you against your will asked you to dinner? Remember how excited you became when Mr. Belding called you down to his office? Remember when he asked you what you were doing that evening? Remember when you were embarassed and said "nothing." Remember when he asked you to meet him after school and that he'd give you some seafood? Remember when he asked if you liked to eat crabs? Remember when you said you'd never had them, but you were willing to try them out? Remember when when you showed up at his office after school? Remember when he threw you on the floor and teabagged you? Remember how he threw you around like a rag doll? Remember when he blew his load and said "get out." Remember when you said "but what about the crabs?" Remember when he said "Shut Up Faggot!!! I just gave you crabs!!!" Remember when you were confused and thought he was just confused? Remember how surprised you were when you found out that Belding have given you the crabs from his filthy nutasck? Remember when your genitals itched something fierce for weeks? Belding sure got you good that time!

01st April 2005 - 12:36:01 AM
12984 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you thought everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember how much you cried as you masturbated to Slater's picture on the yearbook? Remember how you sulked all day and you thought that nobody cared about you? Remember when you were paged over the PA system by Mr. Belding, who asked you to come down to your office? Remember how excited you got because you figured he was going to throw you a party in his office? Remember when you walked down to his office and opened the door, only to discover that the lights were off and you couldn't see anything? Remember when you fumbled about, walking aimlessly toward the center of the room? Remember when you smelly something unusual and tried to walked toward it? Remember when you heard a really loud fart and then were immediately coated with a smelly, warm, and chunky liquid? Remember when the lights flipped on and you saw Mr. Belding in front of you, with his pants off, bent at his waist and grabbing his ankles with his asshole staring directly at you? Remember when you realized that he had sprayed diarrhea all over your body? Remember when you heard laughing and turned around and saw Slater, Mr.Tuttle, Zack, and Zack's dad pointing at you and laughing their asses off? Remember when Lisa walked into the office and called you a smelly faggot? Remember how your Zubaz were ruined? Remember when you contracted typhoid from Mr. Belding's excrement? Remember when Zack's dad said he'd drive you over to the mall to get a new pair of Zubaz? Remember when you hopped in the car and he drove you over to the city landfill? Remember when he dragged you out of his car, yanked off your smelly Zubaz and shoved Zack's huge cordless phone up your poop chute? You really got screwed over that time!

Archived January-March 2005 "Remember When" stories

2005-10-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

28th March 2005 - 11:29:37 PM
12930 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where your Bayside class visited downtown LA to check out some different businesses as part of a 'Career Day'? Remember when they used the 'buddy system' and paired you up with Zack and Slater? Remember when you walked past the downtown library and saw all of the bums and made fun of them to Zack and Slater? Remember when Slater said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when you got scared and started crying? Remember when Slater kicked you in the back and told you to go away? Remember when you ran to the back side of the library with your skinny little arms flailing in the wind? Remember when you walked past a row of dumpsters behind the library? Remember when you were sobbing loudly and got scared when you thought you heard something moving in one of the dumpsters? Remember when you went in for a closer look? Remember when you looking in one of the dumpsters and saw two smelly and diseased bums pulling a train with actor Andy Dick? Remember when this sight turned you on, so you pulled out your penis and started masturbating? Remember when someone put a hand on your shoulder and you felt uneasy? Remember when you said "excuse me, sir?" Remember when the man smashed your face into the edge of the dumpster and you fell over? Remember when you looked up and realized that a smelly bum had done this? Remember when the bum whistled and the lids on two of the dumpsters were flung open, revealing many naked men in the middle of a homosexual orgy? Remember when you recognized Mr. Belding and Zack's dad as two of the men participating in the gay orgy with some bums? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over to you and you though he would be your savior? Remember when he bent over and you thought he was going to help you up? Remember when instead of helping you, he sat on your face, draped his nuts on your face for a heavy pair of Arabian goggles, and unleashed a torrent of diarrhea into your mouth? Remember when Belding got up and one of the bums kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack's dad walked over and said "let me clean you up" as he whipped out his penis and pissed in your mouth? Remember when Belding whipped out his middle-aged cock and pissed on your head? Remember when one of the bums unleashed an HIV+ shit on your chest and another bum picked up the shit and shoved it in your mouth? Remember when a second bum cleaned his dirty asshole with your poofy and urine-soaked afro? Remember when Belding, Zack's dad, and the bums finally finished with you and then walked off, leaving you for dead? Remember when you heard some uncontrollable laughter and saw Zack and Slater walking toward you with a video camera? Remember when you said "why didn't you guys help me?" Remember when they said "shut up FAGGOT!!! We're going to sell video of this on the Internet!!!" Remember when you said you were going to tell the police? Remember when Slater said "if you do that, we'll post these pictures on the Internet" as they showed you two pictures, one of which showed you tossing Mr. Belding's salad, and the other of which showed Zack and Slater pulling a train with Mrs. Powers? Remember when Zack and Slater did sell the tape on the Internet, but they registered their business in your name? Remember when the police thought you were selling the videotape and sent you to jail for distributing child pornography? You sure got screwed over that time!!

23rd March 2005 - 10:02:11 PM
12865 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Mr. Belding wore a new suit to Bayside? Remember how cool he thought he looked in it? Remember when he strutted down the hallway? Remember how he wasn't wearing underwear at the time and his middle-aged package was shifting from side-to-side as he strutted? Remember how you were fixated on his crotch? Remember when the queer student whose nickname was 'lovethenut' (because he loved gobbling down nut butter of the athletes on the wrestling team after their workouts) tried to grab Mr. Belding's wrinkled ass? Remember when you pushed that fruit out of the way so you could get a better look at Belding's mid-section?
Remember when your eyes got really big as you stared at Mr. Belding's package? Remember when Slater saw this and got pissed? Remember when he charged at you and knocked you over with a 'clothes-line'? Remember when he dropped trow, grabbed your 'fro and used your gonzo nose to clean his ass? Remember when you started crying? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and whipped out his middle-aged cock? Remember how his pubes were grey and his nut sack was wrinkled? Remember when he said he would wash away your worries as he began giving you a golden shower? Remember when instead of washing away your worries, you contracted herpes on your eye from his diseased urine? The Bayside gang really screwed you over that time!

20th March 2005 - 09:31:56 PM
12811 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding's brother Rod was a substitute teacher at Bayside? Remember how he dressed like a burnout with long blonde hair, which resembled singer Michael's Bolton's 'do of the early 90s? Remember how everyone though he was a really hip dude, way cooler than his straight-laced principal brother? Remember when Mr. Belding introduced Rod to the class? Remember when, being the retarded queer that you are, you said "Two Belding's in one building, one of whom is balding!" Remember when you also said you were shocked that Rod was Principal Belding's brother because he had much more hair? Remember when you then remarked that Principal Belding had a much bigger forehead than Rod? Remember how incensed Mr. Belding became? Remember when his face turned bright red and he walked out in a huff? Remember when class ended and you walked over to the locker room to get ready for gym class? Rememeber when you opened the door and Mr. Belding jumped out from behind the door? Remember when he said "I'm gonna get you, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he slugged you in the gut with a field hockey stick, breaking two of your ribs, and knocking you down on the floor? Remember when Slater came running at you and kicking you in the head, knocking out your front teeth? Remember how he was dressed as his pet lizard, Artie, which he would frequently dress as because he derived great homosexual pleasure by dressing up as animals? Remember when Zack came crashing throught the door and you thought he was going to save you? Remember when instead of saving you, he kicked you in the head, dropped trow and pissed on your face? Remember when Mr. Belding yanked off your pants and said "you've been a bad boy. Now you're gonna pay!!!" Remember when he had unprotected buttsex with you while Slater unleashed an HIV+ pile of shit on your head? Remember when Rod walked in and said "Richard, cut it out! I want to get some!" Remember when Rod dropped trow and teabagged you while Zack continued washing away your tears with a golden shower? Remember when you contracted 'the clap' and AIDS from this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Beldings really got you good that time!

Thumbs up to Rocco and Dner for their recent 'remember when' stories.

16th March 2005 - 01:11:36 AM
12759 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss where you were first given the nickname 'Screech'? Remember how it all started in gym class one day where you were changing at the end of class? Remember when you really had to go to the bathroom, so you went to the bathroom stall and dropped a huge load of crap? Remember how this took several minutes, and by the time you had wiped and were done, you were the only one left in the locker room? Remember when somebody suddenly switched off the lights and you fumbled around in the dark? Remember when you heard footsteps and what sounded like a mop being pushed around on the floor? Remember when the lights came back on and you were startled to see Mr. Belding and Milo, the black janitor, right in front of you? Remember how relieved you were to see these guys? Remember how the relief quickly changed to terror when Milo struck you in the face with the end of the mop? Remember when you fell over and bled on the floor? Remember when Belding yanked off your shorts and Mikey, your Italian mullet-headed classmate, jumped out from behind a locker and you saw that he was naked? Remember when oil from his greasy Italian hair kept dripping all over the place? Remember when Mikey kicked you in the back and then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pulled out and blew his wad in your curly afro? Remember when Belding and Milo did the same? Remember when you started screaming in pain and Mikey pulled out a cassette recorder and recorded your screams so he could jerk off to them later? Remember when he played it over the Intercom one day and everyone heard you screeching in pain from the unprotected buttsex? Remember when from that day forward, everyone started calling you 'Screech' and would tell you that you were a huge faggot? You really got screwed over that time!

15th March 2005 - 01:57:21 AM
12746 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where the air conditioning at Bayside broke and the school got really hot? Remember when you were sweating profusely and the huge pubic afro on your head started dripping sweat all over the place? Remember when you complained to Mr. Tuttle that you were too hot, and he told you to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!" Remember when you were very frightened by Mr. Tuttle's outburst and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when everyone in class started laughing at you and you sprinted out of the classroom with your boney little arms flailing every which way like a huge queer? Remember when you ran to Mr. Belding's office and he said he'd cool you down? Remember when he pointed at your shirt and asked "what's that?" Remember when you looked down and Belding hit you square in the jaw, knocking you out? Remember when you came too and discovered that you were completely naked, your hands and legs were duct taped, and Slater was buttslamming you against your will? Remember when Slater pulled out and unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your mouth? Remember when Belding asked if that helped cool you off and you started crying? Remember when Belding said "I'll give you something to cry about" as he and Slater picked you up and fired you into a port-a-potty by the football field? Remember when they managed to stuff your tiny body into the blue water below the toilet seat? Remember when Slater took a shit on you while Belding pissed on your 'fro? Remember when you were stuck in there with rancid feces and urine for 2 weeks, until the next home football game? That's what you get for bitching about being too hot! You sure had egg on your face that time!

09th March 2005 - 12:56:41 AM
12670 : Ox
Screech, do you remember that episode where everyone in Mr. Tuttle's Social Studies class had to dress up in an ethnic costume? Remember how confused you were and you didn't know what to dress up as? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office to ask for his advice? Remember how embarassed he was when you opened the door to his office becasue he had just ripped a nasty fart. Remember when he told you he'd eaten burritoes for lunch and had been running to the bathroom every 10 minutes? Remember when you asked what you should dress as for Tuttle's social studies class? Remember when he suggested you go as an Indian? Remember when he suggested one of those slik shirts that Indians wear? Remember when you thanked him and got up to leave his office? Remember when he said "but Screech, you still need one of those dots for your forehead?" Remember how happy you were when he said he could give the dot? Remember how much less happy you were 3 minutes later when Mr. Belding threw you on the ground, gave you a sweaty pair of Arabian goggles, and his asshole left a dark 'shit dot' on your forehead? Remember when iy took a full three weeks for Belding's feces to finally fade from your head? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

04th March 2005 - 01:54:57 AM
12605 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Zack had a crush on the hot brunette nurse? Remember how nervous Zack got around her and how he really wanted to ask her out? Remember how Salter competed with Zack to get her? Remember when you were sent to the nurse's office because the herpes Zack's dad had given you had flared up? Remember when you walked into nurse's office and saw Zack and Slater pulling a train with the nurse? Remember how horny you were and when Zack asked if you want some 'train action' yourself? Remember when you eagerly replied 'yes?' Remember when you dropped trow and pulled out your tiny penis? Remember when everyone laughed because you were hung like a three-month-old? Remember when you walked over to Zack and Slater and startled when Mr. Belding jumped out from behind a curtain? Remember when you asked why he was there and he said he also wanted some 'train action?' Remember when you told him he'd have to wait his turn because the nurse only had 3 holes? Remember when Mr. Belding said 'who cares about her? You've got 2 tight holes and that's all that Mr. Tuttle and I need, bitbh!" Remember when Mr. Tuttle jumped out of the closet and broke a yardstick over your head, knocking you out? Remember when you struggled to breath as you came to and realized that Mr. Belding was teabagging you while Mr. Tuttle pounded you from behind? Remember when Mr. Tuttle transmitted HIV to you during this unprovoked homosexual attack? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

01st March 2005 - 12:28:56 AM
12544 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you were taking playing baseball at Bayside during gym class? Remember how Mr. Belding was the substitute gym teacher that day? Remember when you were at bat and Slater was on deck? Remember when Mr. Belding was the pitcher? Remember when you stood in the batter's box and got ready to hit? Remember when Mr. Belding threw an inside fastball and drilled you in the nuts? Remember when you doubled over in pain? Remember when Mr. Belding ran over and asked if your ass was bleeding? Remember when you said "no, just my nuts?" Remember when Mr. Belding said "well, your ass is going to be bleeding soon?" Remember when you had no idea what he was taking about? Remember when Slater dropped trow, rolled over your mangled body and teabagged you as you cried out in obvious pain? Remember when Zack pissed on your hairless chest as Slater unleashed a brown torrent of diarrhea all over your head? Remember when Mr. Belding said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here???" as he tore off your underoos and bounced you up and down on his cock as if it was a jack hammer? Remember when he pulled out and squirted his load in your eye? Remember when he and Slater enjoyed their bliss for about 15 seconds until they picked up your mangled body and fired it into a dumpster. Slater still wistfully reminisces about that episode? You really got screwed over?

25th February 2005 - 06:04:30 PM
12504 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you, Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding all watched "The Karate Kid" over at Mr. Tuttle's house after school one day? Remember how much you liked the movie because Daniel LaRusso, the star, was a nerdy kid like you? Remember how LaRusso got beat up all the time until he met Mr. Miyagi, a Japanese immigrant who taught him to defend himself with karate? Remember how he taught Daniel karate in unusal ways by making him paint his fence, wax his car, etc.? Remember how you wished you knew karate so that you'd be able to fight off all of the males bullies in your gym class who used to have unprotected buttsex with you (against your will) in the bathroom stall before class? Remember how after school a few days later you were walking home from Bayside when you bumped into a middle-aged Japanese man? Remember when you asked him if he knew karate, and he said that he did? Remember when you asked him if he would teach you the art, and he said he would if you did some chores for him? Remember when you said you understood and had seen all the unusual exercises Danny did in the movie and would do whatever he asked? Remember when he took you into an abandoned shed behind the local gas station, dropped trow, and told you to suck him off? Remember when he said that this exercise would teach you concentration, which is crucial in a fight? Remember when you continued to do this for the next two months until you finally realized that he was just a diseased Japanese bum who didn't even know karate? Remember when he gave you gonorrhea? You really got screwed over that time!

21st February 2005 - 10:48:53 PM
12443 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you and the Bayside gang reported to the gym for flu shots? Remember how a couple of old nurses from a local clinic showed up to administer the shots? Remember when you got in line behind Zack and Slater? Remember when you got more and more scared as you waited your turn in line? Remember when you had a panic attack and started crying like a little bitch? Remember when Mr. Belding pulled you aside and took you into the gym teacher's office to catch your breath? Remember when you finally got your breathing under control and told Mr. Belding that you were ready for your flu shot? Remember when Mr. Belding said that the nurses had already left because they'd run out of shots? Remember how disappointed you became until Mr. Belding told you that he'd managed to save a shot for you? Remember when he asked if you were ready and you enthusiastically replied "yes!"??? Remember when Mr. Belding said "ok, here it is" as he stood up and dropped trow? Remember how confused you were, but Mr. Belding assured you that this was the proper way to dispense the vaccine? Remember how you stupidly believed him? Remember when he buttslammed you for the next 10 minutes while "administering the medicine" as he so eloquently put it? Remember when he finally finished and you limped back to class in obvious pain? Remember when you thought to yourself "man that was painful, but at least I'm vaccintated against the flu?" Remember how instead of getting the flu that winter, instead you contracted herpes from Mr. Belding? Remember when you found out that the herpres had cut short your life expectancy by about 15 years? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

10th February 2005 - 12:22:58 AM
12296 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding butt-slammed you for the first time? Remember how he did this against your will and repeated this every single day for your last two years at Bayside? Remember how after a while you learned to enjoy the anal pounding and grew quite fond of Mr. Belding? Remember how Mr. Belding was always the pitcher and he would make you suck him off also? Remember when you asked if you could do him an the butt with your hairless genitals, and he bluntly refused? Remember when he said he had hemmoroids that would painfully flair up if you pounded him? Remember how you naively believed his b.s. story? Remember when during your last sememster at Bayside you noticed that his ass smelled like baked tortillas while you tossed his salad? Remember when you didn't think anything of it until that time after school when you walked into his office and saw Slater giving Mr. Belding a thorough butt-slamming? Remember when you started crying and asked Mr. Belding how he could do this to you? Remember when Belding called you a "stupid faggot" and then threw you on the ground, teabagged you until he blew his load on your chest? Remember when that made you feel a little bit better until Slater took a smelly Mexican shit in your mouth? Belding and Slater really screwed you over that time!

06th January 2005 - 12:25:50 AM
11870 : Ox
Screech, remember that one episode where Mr. Belding had unprotected buttsex with you for the 1,000th time and you told him you loved him? Remember when you asked if he was finally ready to be seen in public with you so that the whole world could see you two lovebirds? Remember when he told you he couldn't do that because he'd lose his job as a principal? Remember when you reluctantly told him you understood and asked him if you two could try something new? Rememner when he asked what you had in mind and you told him that you wanted to buttslam him for the first time ever? Remember when he said he couldn't do that because of his hemmoroids? Remember when he then gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when he pounded you so hard that you walked with a limp the rest of the week? Remember when you walked into his office the next Monday to give your ass to him only to discover Slater pounding away at Belding's ass? Remember when you ran out of the room crying? Remember the next day when you saw them kissing in public and finally realized that Belding had been lying to you for years and was merely using you for gay sex, and nothing else? Remember you ran over to Zack's house bawling? Remember when Zack wasn't home, but his dad let you in and then buttslammed you against your will? Mr. Belding and Zack's dad really screwed you over that time!

Screech's "Camping Trip" episode recap

2005-10-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode where your parents told you that singer Neil Diamond was your cousin? Remember how excited you were when Neil took you camping in the Foothill Mountains of Southern California? Remember how he brought his sleeping bag and a tent for you two to sleep in? Remember when you had to sleep with him in his sleeping bag because you didn't realize that you were supposed to bring your sleeping bag? Remember how you were thinking to yourself that it was so awesome that a celebrity was your cousin as you drifted off to sleep that evening? Remember how much less awesome you thought it was when he molested you and you woke up to him butt-raping you? Remember how deeply disturbed you were afterward? Remember how you needed to talk to someone about this horrible encounter? Remember how Bayside had been undergoing budget cuts so Mr. Belding was doubling as the school's counselor? Remember when you went into his office the first thing Monday morning and told him about what had happened? Remember how emotional you were and you cried for about 45 minutes as you told Mr. Belding about the trauma you had experienced? Remember when you were interrupted and stopped talking when you started to hear a mysterious slapping sound coming from behind Mr. Belding's desk? Remember when you asked Belding what that noise was? Remember when you noticed he was sweating as he mumbled that he didn't know what it was? Remember when you stood up and saw that he was jerking off? Remember when he apologized and told you he couldn't help himself because the story about Neil Diamond raping you was "so hot?" Remember when you started crying again and then Belding stood up and you thought he was going to give you a comforting hug? Remember when he instead blew his load on your Zubaz and then punched you in the face and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when he picked up his chair and broke it over your back? Remember when he took a shit on your poofy jew-fro and then opened his window and threw you out into the dumpster behind his office with all of the other trash? You sure got screwed over that time!

The "Dodgers game" episode recap

2005-10-03T21:13:00.000-07:00

Posted: Oct 3 2005, 03:27 AM
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took you, Zack, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle to a Dodgers game? Remember when you were hungry and want to eat peanuts? Remember how you kept looking around and didn't see any peanut vendors walking around? Remember when you started whining to Mr. Belding and asked him to go buy you some peanuts? Remember when Slater yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZUBAZ-WEARING PIECE OF COCKSUCKING SHIT!!!" Remember when Mr. Belding told Slater to relax and then told you that he didn't have any money with him, but that he had some peanuts left over from the previous evening's Dodgers game? Remember when you asked for them and he said he would have to go get them? Remember when Belding said to come with him and you two left your seats? Remember when Mr. Belding walked 2/3 of the way around the stadium until he reached an unmarked orange door? Remember when Belding said he left his peanuts in the room behind the door? Remember how you thought to yourself that Belding sure picked an unusual place to keep his extra peanuts and wondered why he hasn't simply kept his extra peanuts in his pocket? Remember when you smelled the odor of baked tortillas emanating from the room behind the orange door and wondered what was back there? Remember when Belding opened the door and you and he walked in and saw Mr. Tuttle tossing Slater's salad on a folding chair? Remember when you said, "what is going on here?" Remember when Belding said "FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!!!" and then Zack jumped out from behind a curtain and smacked you in your right kneecap with a baseball bat? Remember when you fell over and started crying? Remember when Belding said "I'll give you something to cry about, SHITHEAD!!!" Remember when Zack rolled you onto your back and tore off all of your clothes and you screamed for help that never arrived? Remember when Zack started doing you in the butt? Remember when Belding dropped his pants, grabbed your jew-fro and then said "Screech, HERE COME THE PEANUTS!!!" and then took a nasty shit in your mouth? Remember when his excrement had dozens of undigested peanuts that Belding had eaten the previous night? Remember when Belding said, "are they salty enough, you worthless piece of CRAP???" Remember when Belding wiped his ass clean with your jew-fro and then squirted his salty load in your mouth? Remember when Tuttle said "My turn" and then grabbed you and bounced your gimpy body up and down on his cock as though you were a rag doll? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your poopchute? Remember when Zack and Slater then started kicking you and stomping on your head and nuts for the next 10 minutes, until they finally got tired and stopped? Remember when Slater, Zack, Tuttle, and Belding got dressed, gave each other "high-five's," and then walked out and shut the door leaving you for dead? Remember when a janitor found you several hours later and after sodomizing you with his broomstick, called the hospital and an ambulance came and picked you up? Remember when you were in the emergency room on life support for several hours that evening and almost died? Remember how you walk with a permanent limp to this day because of the shattered kneecap Zack gave you that fateful day? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!!

The "Smart Pills" episode recap

2005-09-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Posted: Sep 28 2005, 04:17 AM
Screech, remember that episode when you had the pop quiz in Mr. Dewey's history class? Remember how Slater's photograph was in the LA Times the day before for winning the high school wrestling championship? Remember how Slater was in his tight wrestling uniform in the picture? Remember how you stared at his lumpy crotch in the picture and started masturbating? Remember how you had stayed up all night tossing off to Slater's picture and couldn't concentrate during the test? Remember when you only received 60% on the test, a D-? Remember when you started crying when Mr. Dewey passed out the graded tests the next day? Remember when everyone started laughing and Mr. Dewey called you a "Stupid FAGGOT!!!" and told everyone that you only got a D- on the test? Remember when you ran out of class and over to Mr. Belding's office? Remember when Belding asked what was wrong and then caressed you as you explained what had happened? Remember you told Belding that you were concerned that you were getting dumber and wanted to get back your intelligence so you wouldn't have to just go by your hideous physical appearance? Remember when Belding said "Sure thing, I'll help you screech." Remember when he handed you a jar of chocolate chunks and said "here's some smart pills. Eat three each morning." Remember when you thanked him and followed his instructions? Remember when you stopped by his office the next week and he asked how the therapy was going? Remember when you complained that the smart pills were very bitter and tasted like shit? Remember when Belding said, "well, I see that they are working! You're getting smarter already!!" and then informed you that the smart pills were in fact chunks of his own shit? Remember when your eyes started to well up with tears? Remember when Belding said, "Don't cry little buddy" and then kicked you in the nuts? Remember when you fell over and then heard him lock the door and shut his blinds? Remember when he tore off you clothes and then dropped his pants? Remember how he manhandled you for the next three hours, bouncing you up and down on his cock until you were bleeding all over the place and he had lost 5 loads? Remember how you screamed for help but nobody came to your rescue? Remember when he was finally done and then unlocked his door? Remember when Mr. tuttle walked in, laughed, and said that he'd been listening to the commotion outside the door for the past hour? Remember when you looked down and saw that he was naked and jerking off? Remember when he blew his load in your eye, temporarily blinding you? Remember when Belding and Tuttle picked you up and carried you out to the alley by the cafeteria? Remember when they fired your lifeless body into one of the dumpsters? You sure got screwed over that time!

Message to Hitoshi, the "I LEIK Milk" Guy

2005-09-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hitoshi, remember when I gave you a milk enema? Remember when a fat, balding middle-aged high school principal named "Mr. Belding" tied you up and had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your ass? Remember when he said "welcome to my HIV world, Hitoshi, you stupid FAGGOT!!!" Remember when you went the free clinic the next day and discovered you had had not only contracted HIV from Mr. Belding, but you also discovered that he had given you herpes as well? Belding and I sure got you good that time!

"Chips" episode recap

2005-09-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Screech, do you remember that episode where you were on the field trip to the zoo? Remember when you were eating lunch at a picnic table with Tuttle, Belding, Slater and Zack? Remember when Belding pulled out a bag of potato chips and started eating them? Remember when he shared his potato chips with Slater, Tuttle, and Zack? Remember how you had forgotten to pack a lunch that day and were very hungry? Remember when you kept staring at the potato chip bag until you finally asked Belding if you could have some chips? Remember when Belding replied "Screech, you really want some chips? Well then I'll give you some, good buddy!" Remember when Slater jumped over the table and slugged you in the gut and you doubled over struggling to breathe? Remember when Tuttle picked you up and threw you on top of the table and held you down with Zack's assistance? Remember when Belding stood up on the picnic table and stepped on your nuts? Remember when he dropped trow and said "Screech, here come the chips, enjoy them, you STUPID COCKSUCKING FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when Belding then began shaking his matted ass hair, loosening dried up fecal chips that fell down into onto your face and into your mouth? Remember how he hadn't washing his ass for months, and he shook loose the fecal chips for about half an hour until he got tired and stopped? Remember how everyone attending the field trip were laughing their asses off as Belding coated you with his "chips?" Remember when Belding put his pants back on and then he and Slater tore off your clothes and carried you over to the Zebra cage and threw you in? Remember how the Zebra was a horny male who proceeded to assrape you? Remember when all of the other students on the field trip laughed hysterically as you cried out in pain? You sure got screwed over that time!!!

"The Clown" episode recap

2005-08-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Screech, remember that episode where the circus came to visit Bayside? Remember when a couple clowns visited Mr. Tuttle's class? Remember when the first clown, named "Bozo," showed you and the class a series of magic tricks and balloon animals? Remember when the second clown, named "Cookie," asked the class for a volunteer? Remember when you eagerly raised your hand? Remember when Cookie blew up a long balloon and handed it to you? Remember when he asked you to tie a balloon know? Remember when you replied "what's a balloon knot?" Remember when Cookie said "I'll show you," and then threw you down on the ground as he dropped trow? Remember when you looked up and saw his asshole staring back as you from a foot away? Remember when he said "can you see MY balloon knot, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when he unleashed a torrent of diarrhea that spray all over your face, poofy hair, and Zubaz? Remember when Cookie turned around and kicked you in the nuts? Remember when the entire class started laughing? Remember when Cookie turned around and took off his make-up and you discovered that Mr. Belding had been dressed up as Cookie the entire time? Remember when Belding stepped on your nuts and then teabagged you while Slater had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the entire class while Mr. Tuttle jerked off? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Tainted Love" episode recap

2005-08-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

16th August 2005 - 11:02:32 PM
71748 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from Good Morning Miss Bliss when you were listening to a tape of hits from the 80s on your Walkman during your lunch period? Remember when Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" was played and you were singing along? Remember when Zack said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DICKHEAD!!!" and ordered you to stop? Remember when you started crying and ran to the bathroom to wipe away your tears? Remember when you walked into the bathroom and ran into Milo, the janitor, who was cleaning up the urinal after your friend Mikey had taken a shit in it? Remember when Milo asked what was wrong and you told him that the other kids were making fun of you because you were singing "Tainted Love"? Remember when Mile replied "hey White Chowder, do you really like Tainted Love"? Remember when you replied that you did? Remember when he said "well then why don't I give you some tainted love then, Snowflake"! Remember when Milo threw you face first into the bathroom stall and then yanked off your Zubaz and lodged the handle of his mop in your rectum? Remember when he dropped trow and rubbed his taint all over your face and then took a shit on your 'fro? Remember when he said "give me some 'tainted love,' FAG!!!" Remember when he rolled you over and had unprotected buttsex with you just like he used to do with the HIV+ inmates at the county jail when he served his sentence for child molestation? Milo sure got you good that time!

"Screech Learns About Swirlies" episode recap

2005-08-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

15th August 2005 - 11:55:05 PM
71283 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you went to the Dairy Queen with Zack and Mr. Belding? Remember when you arrived at the Diary Queen and ran into Slater, who had just come over from the Taco Bell? Remember how Slater was finishing up a chocolate milkshake? Remember when Slater asked you if you wanted a "chocolate swirlie"? Remember when you looked up at the menu and told Slater that you didn't see "chocolate swirlie" listed on the menu? Remember when Slater said not to worry about it because it was a new product? Remember when Slater headed toward the bathroom and mentioned he'd be right back? Remember when Slater returned and you were upset because Belding was eating a pudding pop and Zack was eating a sundae, but you weren't eating anything because you were waiting for Slater to give you the chocolate swirlie? Remember when Slater asked you to follow him to a secret room where he'd present you with the chocolate swirlie? Remember when he pushed you into the bathroom and you said "Slater, are you giving me the chocolate swirlie in here?" Remember when he replied that he was going to do so? Remember when Belding walked into the bathroom and slugged you in the back? Remember when Belding grabbed your left leg and Slater grabbed your right and they dragged you into the second stall, where Slater had just sprayed an enormous amount of smelly Taco-Bell induced diarrhea? Remember when Slater and Belding dunked your head in the toilet bowl and Slater said "he's your chocolate swirlie, FAGGOT!!!" as he flushed the toilet? Remember when you saw one of Slater's huge turds swirl past your eyes as the filthy disease-ridden watery waste flushed down the toilet? Remember when you got typhoid from Slater's filthy feces and spend a month in the hospital in Intensive Care? Slater sure got you good that time!

"Screech and the Love Tester" episode recap

2005-08-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

14th August 2005 - 02:07:51 PM
70128 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Slater's old girlfriend Jennifer, from the army military base, transferred to Bayside? Remember when Zack and you were supposed to keep Jennifer away from Jessie, Slater's current girlfriend, until Slater could figure out what to do? Remember when you stupidly told Jennifer that Jessie was Slater's girlfriend? Remember when Mr. Tuttle's science class was building science projects? Remember when you and Kelly built a "love tester" that measured compatibility between two people? Remember when you hooked on of the prongs up to Zack and the other to Jennifer? Remember when the machine indicated that they were very compatible? Remember when Slater became jealous and grabbed the prong from Zack? Remember when the machine started making noises and indicated that the compatibility between Jennifer and Slater was the highest possible? Remember when Mr. Belding barged into the classroom and said, "hey, hey, hey what is going on here?" Remember how pissed Mr. Belding was about all of the noise emanating from the classroom? Remember when you explained that you had built a love-testing machine? Remember when Mr. Belding said "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!!" Remember when Belding said he wanted to test the machine out? Remember when he hooked up the machine to you and Jennifer, and then you and Lisa, you and Kelly, and you and Jessie? Remember how the machine indicated the lowest level of compatibility between you and those girls? Remember when Belding said "one more test" and then dropped trow and yanked off your Zubaz? Remember then he hooked up one prong to his penis and the other prong to your asshole? Remember when the machine went bonkers and indicated the highest level of compatibility? Remember when Belding said "Screech, I guess this is fate" as he proceeded to having unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will, in front of the whole class while Mt. Tuttle masturbated? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech Plays Hacky Sack" episode recap

2005-08-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

08th August 2005 - 01:41:21 AM
66446 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from the College Years where you showed up and met your RA, Mr. Rogers, for the first time? Remember how much you liked his mullet? Remember when you told how how hip and cool it looked, and he said "thanks"? Remember when he asked you if you wanted to play "hacky sack" with Zack and him? Remember when you told him you would if you knew what hacky sack was? Remember when Mr. Rogers told you that hacky sack was a game where a group up people line up in a circle and take turns kicking around a bean bag? Remember when you said that the game sounded like fun and agreed to play? Remember when Mr. Rogers led you into his room where Zack was waiting? Remember when Mr. Rogers asked Zack where the bean bag was? Remember when Zack replied "Screech has it"? Remember you said that you didn't have it, and wondered what was wrong with Zack? Remember when Zack replied "yes you do, BITCH!!!" and then kicked you in the nuts? Remember when Zack said "Screech, we're playing with your hairless bean bag today, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when Mr. Rogers jumped at you and then also kicked you in the junk? Remember when Zack then kicked you again and he and Mr. Rogers took turned kicking you in your nutsac for the next 15 minutes? Remember when they finally stopped and then Slater and Mr. Belding jumped out of Mr. Rogers' closet, where they had apparently been hiding for the previous half hour? Remember how Mr. Belding was dressed up as a cop and Slater was dressed up as a lizard, like they both were in the previous episode when you killed Slater's pet lizard? Remember when you thought Mr. Belding was going to arrest Zack and Mr. Rogers? Remember when instead of arresting Zack and Mr. Rogers, Belding handcuffed you to Mr. Rogers' bunkbed and then had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when Slater said "suck on my lizard dick, BITCH!!!" You really got screwed over that time!!!!

"Mr. Belding Teaches Screech to Tap Dance" Episode Recap

2004-12-28T00:40:00.000-08:00

28th December 2004 - 12:40:16 AM
11778 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you were acting in the school play? Remember when you had to tapdance in one of the scenes? Remember when Mr. Belding ran into you after school one day and asked why you were still at school? Remember when you told him that you were nervous about your tapdance routine and he told you he was an expert tapdancer back in his day and would give you a lesson? Remember when he asked you to come with him to his office for the lesson? Remember when he asked you to sit down in his chair while he put on his tapdance shoes? Remember how impressed you were when he tapdanced around his office for you? Remember when you asked him to teach you to tapdance like that? Remember when he told you to lay down naked on the floor for your lesson? Remember when you thought that his request was unusual, but complied anyway because he was your hero? Remember when he quickly duct taped your arms and legs to the floor before you could react? Remember when he said "here comes my next tapdance number, BITCH!!!" Remember when he started tapdancing on your hairless pre-pubescient beanbag for the next ten minutes until your sac was purple and swollen? Remember when Mr. Belding finally stopped and then walked out and said "see you later, FAGGOT!!!" Remember when Kelly walked by Mr. Belding office after he left and saw you taped to the floor? Remember when you thought that sweet Kelly would save you? Remember when you quickly realized that Kelly would not save you when she pulled down her pants and unloaded a huge Cleveland Steamer on your head? Mr. Belding and Kelly really screwed you over that time!

"Mr. Belding Introduces Screech to 'Stomp'" Episode Recap

2004-12-15T01:20:00.000-08:00

15th December 2004 - 01:20:15 AM
11662 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding asked you if you liked "stomp"? Remember when you said "yes" because you thought he was referring to "Stomp," the modern dance troupe that uses everyday objects in non-traditional ways as a dance routine? Remember when you eagerly replied "yes"? Remember when you showed up at Bayside that Friday evening and Belding took you into his office? Remember when he turned off the lights and you stumbled about? Remember when he punched you in the stomach and you fell over? Remember when he turned back on the lights and started jumped on your head and stomping on your neck? Remember when he said "now do you like 'stomp,' BITCH????" Remember when Mr. Belding then lit your pre-pubescent hairless balls on fire with the lighter he used to light his bong when he would smoke up at the school? Remember when you cried out in pain and were relieved when James 'the actor' showed up at Belding's office door? Remember when you thought that the pain was finally over? Remember when you realized that your evening of terror was just beginning when James 'the actor' and Mr. Belding pulled a train with you, took turns teabagging you, took tag-team dumps on you, and then dropped you off in the ghetto to fend for yourself? Mr. Belding really screwed you over that time!

"Screech Catches Gout" Episode Recap

2004-12-10T09:32:00.000-08:00

10th December 2004 - 09:32:20 AM
11618 : Ox

Screech, remember when belding and slater used to beat you up after school and would humiliate you by making you drink their piss against your will? Remember how this went on for about four years, commencing on slater's first day, and ending after the graduation ceremony? Remember when you got the disease "gout" which is caused by piss drinking where uric acid forms crystals in the cartilage of your joints, which get painfully inflamed and swollen? Remember when you started having to walk with crutches every day for the rest of your life because of the pain? Belding and Slater really screwed you over that time!

"Mr. Belding Reunites With Mr. Rogers" Episode Recap

2004-12-08T01:20:00.000-08:00

08th December 2004 - 01:20:27 AM
11562 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode from the New Class when Mr. Rogers from the College Years came to visit you at Bayside? Remember when he told you that Mr. Belding was his old frat buddy? Remember when Mr. Rogers walked into the gym and saw you and Mr. Belding? Remember when he ran toward you two and you thought he was going to give Mr. Belding a high-five? Remember when instead of giving Mr. Belding a high-five, he gave you a 'clothesline,' leveling you and knocking you to the floor? Remember when "Mr. Belding walked over and you thought he was going to help you up and scold Mr. Rogers? Remember when instead of helping you up, he gave you a 'leg drop' across your throat, one of his old wrestling moves? Remember when they both yanked off your clothes and pulled a train with you, with Mr. Rogers as the back and Mr. Belding as the front? Remember when they kept giving each other the secret fraternity handshake while they double-teamed you? Remember when they both pulled out at the same time and Mr. Rogers blew his load in your left eye while Mr. Belding blew his in your right eye? They got you good that time!

"Mr. Belding Gives Screech a Birthday Present" Episode Recap

2004-12-03T09:40:00.000-08:00

03rd December 2004 - 09:40:04 AM
11475 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode where everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when Mr. Belding saw you sitting down on the stairs in the hallway crying one day? Remember when he asked what was wrong and you said that you were upset that everyone forgot about your birthday? Remember when he told you to come to his office and he'd give you a present you'd remember for the rest of your life? Remember when you walked into his office and he slugged you in the gut and you fell over in pain? Remember when he dropped his pants, took off his underwear, and rubbing his herpes-encrusted dirty underwear in your face? Rememeber how for the past 15 years you've been trying to get rid of the herpes Belding gave you that day? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

"Mr. Belding Teachs Screech How to Kiss - Part II" Episode Recap

2004-12-01T23:33:00.000-08:00

01st December 2004 - 11:33:30 PM
11454 : Ox
[continuation of story from message 11423]

Screech, remember how excited you were after practicing kissing on Mr. Belding's blow-up doll and how much you were looking forward to your date with Lisa? Remember when you were about to leave Mr. Belding's office to return to class when Mr. Belding said "Screech, there's just one more thing - I think you should know that girls have really stinky breath." Remember how you found that surprising because you had never noticed your mother with really bad breath, but you just shrugged it off because Mr. Belding was your idol? Remember when you showed up at the Bayside gymnasium on Friday evening for your date? Remember how unusual you thought it was that Lisa wanted you to meet her at the gym for your date? Remember when you walked into the gym and discovered that it was pitch black because all of the lights were off? Remember when you heard Lisa call out, "Screech, I'm over here honey?" Remember when you fumbled until the made your way toward here until she called out and told you to stop? Remember when she grabbed your hand and said she wanted to kiss you, but that she wanted you to walk five feet to your left first? Remember when she told you to put your hands behind your back, often your mouth wide and stick out your tongue? Remember when you did and as you got close to here face you noticed that it smelled like ass? Remember when your tongue touched her lips and it felt really weird? Remember when it felt as though her mouth shit on you? Remember when the lights turned on and you discovered that Mr. Belding was standing facing away from you on a chair directly in front of you and you realized that you had just kissed his butthole and he had shit on you? Remember when you also saw Lisa, Jessie, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle and they were all busting up laughing at you? They really screwed you over that time!

"Mr. Belding Teachs Screech How to Kiss - Part I" Episode Recap

2004-12-01T01:50:00.000-08:00

01st December 2004 - 01:50:56 AM
11423 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when Lisa finally agree to go out with you? Remember how nervous you were because you had never kissed a girl before (or since)? Remember when you went into Mr. Belding's office and asked him for some kissing tips? Remember when he busted out a blowup doll and started kissing it on its lips? Remember when he handed the blowup doll to you and you started practicing kissing it? Remember how strange you thought it was that Mr. Belding had a blowup doll in his office, and you didn't know at the time what a blowup doll was used for? Remember when you noticed that the doll's mouth had a slightly salty taste, but you didn't think anything of it? Remember how, unbeknownst to you, Mr. Belding had been masturbating in his office five minutes before you walked in and had blown his load on the doll's mouth? Remember when you were kissing the doll and Mr. Belding dropped his pants and started cracking one off until he blew his middle-aged load on your Zubaz pants? Remember when you didn't even notice this because you were concentrating so hard on learning a kissing technique? Remember when you walked out of Belding's office totally oblivious to the fact that his pants were down at any time while you were in his office? Remember when you got 'the crabs' in your mouth due to what you had been licking? Remember when you had to take oral medication for the next 6 months to get rid of Belding's little present? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

"Screech Tutors Ox" Episode Recap

2004-11-29T00:50:00.000-08:00

29th November 2004 - 12:50:52 AM
11383 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when I needed help with my math class and Mr. Belding recommended that you tutor me? Remember when we agreed that I would pay you $10/hour for your tutoring services? Remember when instead of paying you in dollars, I paid you in unprotected buttsex, with me as the pitcher and you as the catcher, against your will? Remember when you complained to Mr. Belding, and he asked both of us to his office so he could mediate the dispute? Remember when you walked into his office after school the next day and were surprised to see Zack, Slater, and Mr. Tuttle in Belding's office instead of just Belding and me? Remember when you sat down and then Slater threw some encahalatas at you that he always had in his backpack? Remember when you asked him to stop and he responded by calling you a faggot? Remember how embarrassed you felt after the exchange? Remember how you felt even more embarassment when Mr. Tuttle dropped his pants and farted in the direction of the 'pubic forest' growing on your head? Remember when Belding walked into the office, locked the door, and dropped his pants? Remember when Slater, Zack, Mr. Tuttle, and I also dropped our pants? Remember when Belding told you that you'd better start sucking us off if you didn't want to get expelled? Remember when Belding and Tuttle pulled a train with you while Slater pissed on your back, Zack gave you a Cleveland Steamer, and I jerked off into your huge afro? Remember when Zack wiped his messy ass with your Zubaz pants, leaving a huge shit stain? Remember when this went on for about 30 minutes until Belding and Slater picked you up and dumped you in an alley behind the school? Remember when you went home crying and your mom bitched you out for staining your Zubaz pants? The Bayside gang really screwed you over that time!

"Kevin The Robot Gets Even With Screech" Episode Recap

2004-11-15T01:07:00.000-08:00

15th November 2004 - 01:07:58 AM
11049 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing your robot, Kevin, at chess? Remember when you beat him a couple of times and Kevin got really pissed at you? Remember when you kept celebrating and made your robot leave because you told him you wanted to take a nap afterward? Remember when instead of taking a nap, you pulled out your Bayside yearbook and started masturbating while looking at pictures of Zack, Slater, and Mr. Belding? Remember when Kevin walked back into your room and caught you playing with yourself? Remember when Kevin became enraged and lunged at your neck with his metal claws? Remember when he pulled down his robot pants and cut off yours? Remember when he inserted his robotic metal penis into your buttholes? Remember he grabbed your abdomen roughly with his metal claws and started bouncing you up and down on his metal woodrow? Remember when you cried out in pain and he told to to "shut the fuck up, faggot!" Remember when he pulled out and said he was about to blow his oily load? Remember when he told you to open his mouth and then blew his oily robotic load on your tongue? Remember when you were relieved that Kevin was finally done with you? Remember when you quickly learned that he was not done with you when he started smacking you in the face with his metal claws and told you that because he was a robot, he could do you until his battery supplies ran out? Remember how disparaged you felt when he said that and you quickly realized that maybe you shouldn't have installed a metal penis on Kevin? Your robot really got you good that time!

"Slater's Birthday Party" episode recap

2004-11-11T00:37:00.000-08:00

11th November 2004 - 12:37:44 AM
10953 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Slater invited you over to his place for his birthday party? Remember how excited you were when you received the invitation in the mail? Remember when Slater's invitation mentioned that there would be a pinata at his party? Remember when you went over to his party and asked where the pinata was? Remember when he said 'you're it, bitch!' as he punched you in the head? Remember when Slater tied you up and hung you upside down in his basement? Remember when Slater, Zack, Lisa, Mr. Belding, and me took turns hitting you with a stick? Remember when Slater pulled down your pants and you used his penis as a chair? Remember when he made you bounce up and down on it as though it were a pogo stick? Remember how you initially hated being buttslammed, but after a couple minutes you began to enjoy it? Remember when, years later you called this the turning point in your life because this was the moment when you realized that you were a flaming homosexual? Remember when Slater pulled out and you eagerly gobbled down his spicy load? Remember how you felt so blissful at that moment and you hugged Slater and enjoyed the moment? When when you quickly stopped enjoying the moment when Mr. Belding kicked you in the nuts, rolled you over and teabagged you? Remember when Zack pissed in your mouth as you struggled to breathe? That was Slater's best birthday party ever!

"Mr. Belding Gives Screech A Chocolate Twinkie" episode recap

2004-11-09T01:10:00.000-08:00

09th November 2004 - 01:10:44 AM
10910 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Slater decided to help out his Mexican family members that worked in the Bayside cafeteria? Remember when you got in line and ordered tacos? Remember when you were hungry for a twinkie for dessert? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom sashayed in front of you, shaking his ass? Remember when you were fixated on his shubby buns and you pitched a tent? Remember when he grabbed the last Twinkie before you could get it? Remember when you started whining and crying like a little bitch? Remember when Slater called you a faggot and told you to "shut the fuck up?" Remember when Mr. Belding stormed out of the teachers' lounge and said "hey, hey, hey, what is going on here???" Remember when you told him there were no more twinkies, and Mr. Belding said "is that it? Come with me, I have a chocolate twinkie I can give you?" Remember when you followed him into the teachers' lounge and he locked the door behind you? Remember when he told you to close your eyes and he'd give you the chocolate twinkie? Remember how excted you were, because you'd never had a cocolate-flavored twinkie before, and you didn't even know that there was a cholocate flavor for twinkies? Remember how much you looked up to Mr. Belding and you viewed him as quite a father figure? Remember when you immediately stopped looking at him as a father figure when he leveled you with a sucker punch to your adam's apple? Remember when you hit the floor and were in incredible pain? Remember when Belding said "here comes the chocolate twinkie, faggot!" Remember when Mr. Belding dropped his pants and took an enormous shit in your mouth? Remember when Belding then stuck his erect penis in your mouth fucked the feces until he could take it no more, at which point he blew his load in the middle of the shit in your mouth??? Remember when Mr. Belding was done with you and he unlocked the door to the lounge and fired you back into the cafeteria? Remember when everyone started busting up laughing and you and your mess? Belding got you good that time!

"Screech Is Abducted By Aliens" episode recap

2004-11-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

04th November 2004 - 10:33:35 PM
10836 : Ox
Screech, do you remember that episode where you were reading all of the books about UFOs after school and on most weekends because you were a big nerd with no friends? Remember when you heard that "Fire In The Sky," a 1993 movie about the alleged abduction of Travis Walton by aliens, was coming out on the upcoming weekend? Remember how you hoped that Slater, who the mere sight of would cause your ding-dong to harden, would ask you to see the movie and then let you suck him off afterwards? Remember when he actually did ask you if you wanted to see the movie with him? Remember how you blushed and pitched a tent as you quickly told him that would would? Remember how disappointed you were when Salter picked you up in his rusty Mexican pickup truck and you saw Zack and Mr. Belding sitting in the back? Remember how scared you were while you watched the scene in the movie where Travis Walton was abducted and brought up into the alien spaceship? Remember when you saw the aliens starting to perform invasive tests on Travis? Remember how cool you thought the movie was as you walked out of the theatre? Remember when you got into Slater's truck and immediately dozed off on the way home? Remember how you dreamed that you the one who had been abducted by aliens? Remember when you wished that aliens were giving you an anal probe at that very second? Remember when you opened your eyes and it came true? Remember when you looked around and saw that you were in an empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere and three aliens were groping you? Remember how all of the aliens had gray skin, large black oval-shaped eyes, and erect penises? Remember when the big fat alien anally penetrated you, giving you a good "probing?" Remember when another alien sat on you face and let loose a nasty fart that smelled like baked tortillas? Remember when the third alien coated the back of your head with a warm, yellow liquid that was coming out of its penis? Remember when this went on for about three hours until the aliens couldn't take it anymore? Remember how your anal area was dripping blood and alien jizz? Remember how scared you got when you thought that the big alien was about to remove its head? Remember how surprised you were when the big alien actually just pulled off a mask and you realized that the big alien had been Mr. Belding the whole time wearing an alein mask and gray tights? Remember when the other two aliens did the same and you discovered that they had been Slater and Zack the entire time? Remember when they got into Slater's pickup truck and drove off without you, leaving you to fend for yourself as blood and jizz gushed out of your unlubed butt? They really got you good that time!

"Screech Gets 'Scared Straight'" episode recap

2004-11-01T00:52:00.000-08:00

01st November 2004 - 12:52:02 AM
10735 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode from your senior year when Mr. Belding was about to get busted for posession of child pornography? Remember when Mr. Belding heard the cops pull up to the front door at BAyside? Remember how you were also in his office sucking him off while Slater was having unprotected buttsex with you when you heard the sirens? Remember when Mr. Belding started to panic because he knew why the cops were there? Remember when he asked you to take the blame and told you you'd probably only get a slap on the wrist? Remember when you were charged with possession of child pornography and the judge threw the book at you as part of a "get tough on porn" campaign? Remember how you had just turned 18 and were tried as an adult? Remember when you were sentenced to two years in the county jail? Remember when you showed up on your first day and several of the other inmates told you they'd be your friends? Remember how good that made you feel, and you quickly assumed that your time in jail would go quickly and you'd make some lifelong friends enjoying your experience? Remember when you quickly discovered that you would not make lifelong friends and would not enjoy your experience when you were subjected to daily gang-rapes? Remember when you got the 'clap' from your cellmate, Leroy? I hope to see the rerun of that episode again soon. It really provided a great 'Scared Straight' message.

"Screech Gets Donkey-Punched" Episode Recap

2004-10-22T01:42:00.000-07:00

22nd October 2004 - 01:42:35 AM
10482 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you stayed after school to look after Becky, the duck you found in the marsh behind the football field? Remember when Mr. Belding ran into you after school and asked you you were still at school? Remember when you told him you were looking after Becky, and he called you a little queer? Remember when you started crying? Remember when Mr. Belding smacked you in the face? Remember when Slater walked into the room and you ran over to him hoping he'd protect you? Remember when you quickly realized he wouldn't protect you when he dropped his baggy acid-washed jeans and stuck his smelly cock in your mouth? Remember when Mr. Belding came around the other side and ripped off your pants and your underwear? Remember when Belding pounded away at your brown star while you blew Slater? Remember when Slater and Mr. Belding kept high-fiving each other while they pulled their train with you? Remember when Slater pulled out and blew his load in your huge afro? Remember when he shoved his skidmark-stained underwear right in your face? Remember when Belding donkey-punched you and you passed out? Remember when you regained consciousness and discovered that Belding was sitting in front of you and had blown his load in your 'fro? Remember when you felt someone else violating your chocolate starfish and realized it was me, Ox, the captain of the football team? Remember when I donkey punched you and you passed out? Remember when this routine repeated itself several more time with Zack, Mr. Tuttle, Max, and James the Actor all donkey punching you, and you losing consciousness each time? Remember how proud you felt afterward that you had been able to please so many of Bayside's queers? Remember how much less proud you felt 3 months later when you learned that you permanent brain damage from all of the donkey punches? The Bayside gang really got you that time!

"Screech Goes Whitewater Rafting" Episode Recap

2004-10-20T00:47:00.000-07:00

20th October 2004 - 12:47:08 AM
10447 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding took your class on an overnight whitewater rafting trip? Remember when you and your class camped out in the woods during your trip? Remember when Mr. Tuttle asked you to go get some sticks for a fire he was preparing? Remember when you fumbled about int he darkness looking for some wood to burn? Remember when you heard some leaves rustling and thought it was just a squirrel? Remember when you realized it was not a squirrel when Maxwell Nerdstrom's fist came flying out of nowhere, hitting you in the stomach? Remember when you groaned in pain? Remember when the black nerd who always wore highwater pants and glasses gave you a forearm in you Adam's apple? Remember you you fell over, struggling to breathe? Remember when you struggled breathing even more when Mr. Belding emerged from the darkness and lodged his erect penis down your throat? Remember when Nerdstrom tore off your pants and gave you a thorough anal pounding? Remember when the black nerd shit all over your back while this was going on? Remember when they finally let you go and you crawled back to camp by yourself looking as though you were in obvious pain? Remember how enraged Tuttle was when he saw you without any firewood? Remember when he and Mr. Belding dragged you into their tent and double-teamed you for 45 minutes? Remember when they were finally done and Tuttle and Belding took turns sticking pens up your cornhole? You got a good workout on that trip!

"Screech Plays Dodgeball" Episode Recap

2004-10-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

19th October 2004 - 01:12:13 AM
10432 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding was the substitute gym teacher when the regular gym teacher was sick? Remember when the class played dodgeball that day? Remember when you and your class used 4 red dodgeballs during the game? Remember when Mr. Belding was the ref? Remember how Mr. Belding was much bigger than you and much stronger? Remember when 3 minutes into the game, Mr. Belding whipped a dodgeball as hard as he could right at the back of your head from 20 feet away? Remember when you turned around and started crying? Remember when Mr. Belding whipped another dodgeball right in your groin? Remember when you doubled over in pain? Remember when Slater then fired one of the dodgeballs at your stomach as you laid on the gym floor? Remember when Zack kicked you in the neck and then sat on your face and farted? Remember when Slater tied you to the rop hanging from the ceiling? Remember Mr. Belding brought out a tennis ball machine, set it on full power, and started firing tennis balls as your crotch? Remember the intense pain you felt as you were getting pelted with tennis balls? Remember when Slater tore off your gym shorts and underwear and felt an even more intense pain as Slater pounded away at you until he unleashed his load in your brownpipe? Remember when Mr. Belding and Zack did the same thing to you? Remember when your colon was so damaged from the encounter that you had to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life? Zack, Slater and Zack really got you that time!

"Slater Gets Even With Screech After The Miss Bayside Contest" episode recap

2004-10-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

17th October 2004 - 09:56:54 PM
10419 : Ox
Screech, remember when Zack and you plotted to win the "Miss Bayside" beauty contest? Remember when Zack painted our eyes black and you told everyone that Slater beat you up? Remember when everyone felt soory for you, so they voted you "Miss Bayside"? Remember when Slater found out that you cheated to win and said "I'm gonna give you faggot!" Remember when Slater tackled you inside the lockerroom after the contest? Remember when he punched you in the face, and flung you into a row of lockers? Remember when you started crying? Remember when you saw Mr. Belding and ran to the safety of his arms? Remember when he grabbed you in a bear hug and you could barely breathe? Remember when Slater yanked down your pants while Belding held you tightly? Remember when Slater started thrusting away at your sphincter with his greasy Mexican woodrow? Remember when he pulled out and blew his load on your back? Remember when you thought that the worst was finally over? Remember when you realized that that the worst was not over when Mr. Belding threw you on the ground, gave you a Cleveland Steamer and a warm pair of Arabian Goggles for hours on end?

"Screech Gets 'Hosed'" Episode Recap

2004-10-14T01:27:00.000-07:00

14th October 2004 - 01:27:10 AM
10352 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you were wating lunch in the cafeteria when I threw an apple at the back of your head from about 15 feet away? Remember when the apple shattered in pieces? Remember when you turned around and started crying? Remember when Slater came running over to you and you hoped he'd scoop you up in his muscular arms and protect you? Remember when instead of protecting you, he broke a tray over your head? Remember when Zack and Slater picked you up and carried you into the gym locker room? Remember how nobody was in there because it was lunchtime? Remember when 20 guys took turns doubling up on you? Remember how you had a cock in your mouth and one in your ass when Mr. Belding walked in? Remember how relieved you were when you saw him? Remember how less relieved you became when he "relieved" himself on you? Remember how he coated your head with his golden shower? Remember when Mr. Tuttle walked into the locker room with plumbing equipment? Remember when Mr. Belding and Mr. Tuttle unscrewed the drain pipe on the urinal trough, and taped it to your mouth? Remember when Mr. Tuttle took a piss in the trough and his urinal swirled down the drain and flowed directly into your mouth? Remember when the wrestling coach brought in the wrsetling team and they all pissed in the trough? Remember how they finally let you go and you had to go get your stomache pumped? Remember when you were scared to drink Mountain Dew for years afterward and had to take intense psychiatric therapy? You really got "hosed" that time!

"Zack's Dad Teaches Screech A Lesson" Episode Recap

2004-10-12T23:30:00.000-07:00

12th October 2004 - 11:30:55 PM
10323 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you and Slater slept over at Zack's house? Remember when you saw Zack's huge cordless phone and you started laughing? Remember when Zack and Slater both called you a "faggot" and told you to "shut the fuck up?" Remember when you started crying and ran out of the room looking for the bathroom so that you could wipe away your tears with tissues? Remember when you ran into Zack's dad in the hallway and he told you he had tissues in his bedroom? Remember how surprised you were when you walked into his bedroom and saw Mr. Tuttle sucking off Mr. Belding in Zack's dad's bed? Remember how disturbed you were when you saw Mrs. Morris taking pictures of them? Remember when Zack's dad locked the door behind you and then pushed you onto the bed? Remember when Mr. Tuttle grabbed you by the neck and Mr. Belding pulled down your pants? Remember when when Mr. Tuttle, Mr. Belding, and Zack's dad all took turns butt slamming you all evening in front of Zack's mom's camera? Remember when Mrs. Morris developed the pictures, and everything was cropped out except your body and the penises? Remember when she developed some of the pictures and blew them up to make posters which she then sold to local gay bars? Remember when the police raid the gay bars, found the posters, and then arrested you for distributing child porn? Remember when you when to jail for 3 months and became the bitch of a smelly Puerto Rican named Jose? Remember when you got out on parole and discovered you had AIDS? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Screech Learns Not To Steal" Episode Recap

2004-10-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

11th October 2004 - 10:49:40 PM
10292 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when Slater and Mr. Belding dared you to steal a pack of gum from a 7-11? Remember when you went inside and Slater saw a cop drive up? Remember when Slater told the you were shoplifting? Remmeber when the cop went inside the 7-11 and saw that you had a pack of gum in your pocket? Remember when Mr. Belding suggested to the cop that you be sent to jail so you could be "scared straight?" Remember when you were brought over to the jail and placed in a cell with Mexican gang members? Remember when Slater and Mr. Belding decided to give you an hour in the cell to think about what you'd done while they drove off to a rest stop for a "quickie?" Remember when you started crying because you were scared? Remember when the Mexican gang members pulled off your pants and told you were their bitch? Remember when they passed you around the prison cell all afternoon while your cries for help went unnoticed? Remember when Mr. Belding and Slater finally came back to get you four hours later? Remember when you were crying and asked why they hadn't come earlier? Remember when Slater said "shut the fuck up, faggot!" Remember when Mr. Belding brought you over to his house and tied to to the floor on your back with your mouth taped wide open? Remember when Slater and Mr. Belding double teamed you all evening, tea bagging you, giving you multiple golden showers and hot lunches? You sure learned to stop shoplifting in that episode. That was a great educational episode!

"Belding Shows Screech A Trick" episode recap

2004-10-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

10th October 2004 - 08:37:55 PM
10279 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode when you ate lunch with MR. Belding? Remember when Mr. Belding, your idol, would eat lunch alone in his office at lunchtime? Remember how you were delighted you were when Mr. Belding asked you to eat lunch with him? Remember how big your smile was when you walked into his office at lunchtime that day? Remember when your smile quickly turned into a frown when Mr. Belding punched you in the chest and called you a 'Zubaz-wearing faggot'? Remember when he said he'd show you a top-like trick? Remember he told you that if you didn't do what he wanted, he'd show Zack the pictures of you he had taken when you were jerking off on Zack's underwear during gym class one day? Remember when Mr. Belding made you lay down and stick your tongue out? Remember Mr. Belding dropped his pants, sat on your face, and balanced his sphincter on your tongue, and spun himself around like a top for hours on end? Remember when Mr. Belding had had enough fun and sent you back to class? Remember how your breath smelled like Mr. Belding's ass for days? Remember when you were suspended for missing your afternoon classes? Remember when Mrs. Powers was so mad at you that she pulled you out of Bayside and enrolled you in military school for a semester? Belding really screwed you over that time!

"Screech Tries Crack" Episode Recap

2004-10-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

07th October 2004 - 01:34:37 AM
10213 : Ox
Hey Screech, remember that episode where young adults coming out of drug rehab programs visited Bayside to scare the students from doing drugs? Remember when Mr. Belding called you on the PA system and asked you to come to his office after the program was over? Remember when when Mr. Belding asked you if you wanted some crack? Remember when you said no, and that you were really anti-drug? Remember when Mr. Belding told you that everyone was doing it, including Slater, with whom you'd had a major crush since you first laid eyes upon his sexy permed mullet? Remember when you used to masturbate to Slater's picture in the Bayside yearbook? Remember when you finally caved into Mr. Belding an agreed to try the crack? Remember when you closed your eyes and got ready to try the drug? Remember when instead of giving you drugs, Mr. Belding pulled down his pants and sat on your face? Remember when he said "here's my Crack, my ass-crack that is, BITCH!" Remember when Mr. Belding rubbed your nose and and down his asscrack all night? Remember when he eventually got up off your face and the tip of your nose had turned brown from his unwashed butt? Remember when he made you toss his salad, giving him a Russian Trombone, and then he made you suck him off? You certainly learned to stay away from crack the hard way that day!!!

"Belding, The Booty Burglar" Episode Recap

2004-10-06T00:42:00.001-07:00

06th October 2004 - 12:42:51 AM
10189 : Ox
Hey Screech, remember that episode from the College Years when Mr. Belding came to visit you and the gang? Remember when he slept on a sleeping bag in the main room because he said he couldn't afford a hotel room? Remember when he got there and he recognized the RA Mr. Rogers, his old frat buddy? Remember when Mr. Rogers saw him, he exclaimed "hey, it's "BOOTY BURGLAR BELDING!!!'"? Remember when you asked how Mr. Belding got that name and Mr. Belding said "you don't want to know"? Remember when you kept pestering Mr. Belding to tell you, until Mr. Rogers said "shut up Screech! Let me show you a wrestling move instead!" Remember when Mr. Rogers got down in a 3-point stance and then charged at you and gave you a "clothesline"? Remember when you flipped in almost a full circle, landing on your back on the hard dorm room floor? Remember when you cried out in pain and Mr. Belding said "now I'm going to show you how I earned the "Booty Burglar Belding" name!" Remember when Mr. Rogers and Mr. Belding both yanked off all of your clothes? Remember when Mr. Rogers and Mr. Belding pulled a train with you? Remember when Mr. Belding robbed you of your anal virginity, leading you down a homosexual life path from which you have never looked back? Remember when Mr. Belding was ass-slamming you at the same time that Mr. Rogers whipped out his erect penis and said "step up to the mic, biatch!!" You sure satisfied two middle-aged men that evening for hours and hours!

"Screech Comes Out Of The Closet" Episode Recap

2004-10-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

03rd October 2004 - 11:28:40 PM
10157 : Ox
Hey Screech, remember that episode where you came out of the closet to the Bayside gang? Remember when when you asked Zack and Slater to come over to the 'rec room' in your basement because you had something important to tell them? Remember when they arrived and you asked them to sit down on your couch because he had something you'd been wanting to get off your chest? Remember when you confessed that you were gay and you hoped they would understand? Remember when you quickly discovered that they would not understand when Slater got called you a "faggot" and threw a billard ball at you, hitting you in the chest? Remember when you fell over in pain and gasped for your breath? Remember when Slater yanked down your pants and tore off his own pants, and said he was going to "teach you what we do to queers south of the border?" Remember when he sat on your chest, pinning your arms at your sides? Remember when he started banging his smelly erect Mexican penis against your forehead and cheeks? Remember when his penis left several red "mushroom tatoos" on your face? Remember when you begging him to stop, saying that your mom was going to to get him in trouble? Remember when Slater said "no she won't bitch," and pulled out pictures of himself teabagging Mrs. Powers? Remember when you started to cry and Mr. Belding walked down into the basement and said he'd been spying on you guys from a window outside? Remember when you noticed that Mr. Belding had pitched a tent? Remember when Mr. Belding hugged you, gently caressing you and told you that nobody was ever going to hurt you again? Remember when you realized that he was just lying to you to get in your pants when he converted his hug into a bear hug, sqeezing you so tight that you couldn't breathe? Remember when Mr. Belding bodyslammed you to the basement floor, and you blacked out? Remember when you woke up and discovered that you were alone and that your pants were ripped, someone had shit on your mouth, and you had jizz all over your face? Remember when you walked upstair and your mom yelled at you for making a mess downstairs? Remember when you were grounded for a month?

"Screech Takes A Swimming Class" Episode Recap

2004-09-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

29th September 2004 - 11:26:09 PM
10105 : Ox

Screech, remember that episode when you took swimming for your gym class at Bayside? Remember when Slater and Zack kept teasing you because you didn't know how to swim? Remember when you were struggling to tread water in the 8-foot deep end of the pool? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom came up behind you and kept grabbing your butt and sticking his thumb up your ass? Remember when Zack swum in front of you and started slugging you in the genetals? Remember how much your nuts hurt when he hit them for the tenth time? Remember when Slater came up behind you and whispered in your ear that he wanted you to meet him in the jacuzzi after class? Remember how excited you became, because you'd had a cruch on him ever since you first laid eyes on his smelly Mexican package while taking a shower during the previous semester's gym class? Remember when you instantly pitched a tent, but felt an intense pain in your groin due to Zack's punches? Remember when class ended and you walked into the training room and saw that the jacuzzi was already turned on? Remember how you couldn't see the bottom of the water because the jets were on full blast? Remember when you got naked and jumped in the water? Remember when you felt another leg in the pool and felt two strong hands groping you? Remember how glad you were that Slater had surprised you by hiding in the jacuzzi and waiting for you? Remember when you felt Slater's cock pound away at you? Remember when Slater blew his load? Remember when Slater pulled you under the water and took a shit in your mouth? Remember when you struggled to stand up and were going to yell at Slater until you realized that it had been Mr. Belding in the jacuzzi with you the entire time? Remember how shamed you felt and your eyes started to well up with tears? Remember when Slater walked in the room and your eyes stopped welling up with tears when Slater started giving you a golden shower? Remember when Slater's urine washed away your tears?